Learn How to Ask Nicely!

[rebeccalouiseagain]

I've sailed on 25 different ships now on various lines.

 

The only time I've had atrocious service was on Cunard. The first night they handed my then 7 year old son a children's menu placemat with mazes and things to color but no crayons. I asked the waiter if there were any crayons for my son and the other little boy at the table. He said they were out of them. So I asked if my son could have a pen instead. The waiter said "I need mine" and walked away. Unbelievable! My experience on all the other cruise lines is that they bend over backward for and genuinely seem to enjoy the kids.

 

Then the next time I sailed Cunard- the waiter was terrible again. For instance, I ordered pasta with pesto sauce and a totally different pasta dish appeared before me. When I commented that it wasn't what I ordered- he said "Oh they ran out of the other one" and walked away! That was absurd for so many reasons- I'm sure they did have all the fixin's for a meatless pasta and basil dish in the kitchen and his unapologetic attitude was rude.

 

So what I have learned after sailing Cunard as a standard passenger is- you are better off in the buffet than the MDR. It's a shame because the QM2 is really an amazing ship but the staff is not trained properly.

 

Having said that- all the other cruises I've sailed, the crew was trained well.

[CaroleSS]

Was her ancestral background one that could have involved slavery? Seems a bit touchy to make her 4 year old soon aware of things like this and make him different from everyone else. What harm does it do, its the South everyone uses it!

 

While her "ancestry" may have involved slavery, her family was from up north (generational) so I doubt that anyone in her family was a slave.....but not out of the question. My point was that she was making an issue out of something that wasn't there.

 

I was born and raise in the south and if we didn't say sir of ma'am, my mother (born and raised in Maryland) would have immediately corrected me! It is a sign of respect and courtesy.....I am 55 am I use sir and ma'am to nearly everyone....there is no disrespect intended or implied.

 

At some point in time, our society lost that courtesy to others. It's kinda sad.... Oh, and BTW, both my sons open doors for women AND men when they arrive at a door first....and I'd correct them if they didn't!!!

[CaroleSS]

Dwayne....

Around the bowl and 'round the hole.....roll Tide roll!!!!:D:D

 

War D**m Eagle........HEY!

[Suzy Smith]

When my son was in kindergarten the teacher told the kids to use phrases like please, thank you, yes ma'am and no ma'am.

 

I am relieved to know that saying yes ma'am is just an example of good manners.

 

I am from the UK, but worked for a guy who had businesses in the US and sometimes he would ask me to call one of the US staff and relay instructions from him. I was always very polite "Please would you do ......" or "would you be kind enough to .........." and sometimes they would respond with "Yes Ma'am". In the UK we really only use this phrase in a sarcastic way if someone is being very bossy and so I thought this was my American colleague's way of telling me I was being too assertive. So the next time I called that person, I would be EVEN MORE polite, as I thought I had offended them last time!:eek:

 

It is nice to know that they were just being equally well mannered!:)

[CaroleSS]

Funny how the same phrase is interpreted differently in different locals!

 

I think what we'd need to do is to travel more outside our own and interact more with others we meet along the way.....imagine the similarities we might find and how some of our biases might be negated if we did so........hmmmmmm. We might find world peace on a cruise ship!!

[Lady Chew]

What! Where do waitstaff sit at your table to take your order? That's a new one for me!

 

We eat out all the time ... mostly casual ... and on occasion we've had the waiter sit down with us to take our order. It's never really bothered us' date=' but I've never had a waitress try to sit in Mr. Chew's lap! Or mine. [/b']

No worries ... no problem ... my pleasure ... you're welcome ... I think that under the circumstances we're talking about, they all basically mean the same, and none of them bother me. The only things that bothers me about waiters are when they constantly ask us how everything is, sometimes before we've even had a chance to try everything!, and being called "you guys" I don't mind being called "ma'am" (although I would prefer my proper title of "Your Majesty") but I HATE being called "you guys" by a waiter.

[jackdiamond]

Your Majesty, where do you reside in Northern Virginia? That is where we spent most of our lives before becoming Floridians.

[Sascol]

I respectfully disagree. The comment implies that they are making an exception and are going out of their way for the customer. To include the word "problem" suggests that the task is more than should be expected but they are being too polite to admit it. I myself occasionally use the phrase "no problem" when I am thanked for doing something over and above what would normally be expected for my line of work. To bring extra napkins or a refill of coffee is not "over and above" their job duties.

 

The proper response to these requests should be "my pleasure" or the like.

 

You are taking it way too literally. "no problem" is a figure of speech. Perfectly acceptable.

[BKFlowerMound]

I am relieved to know that saying yes ma'am is just an example of good manners.

 

I am from the UK, but worked for a guy who had businesses in the US and sometimes he would ask me to call one of the US staff and relay instructions from him. I was always very polite "Please would you do ......" or "would you be kind enough to .........." and sometimes they would respond with "Yes Ma'am". In the UK we really only use this phrase in a sarcastic way if someone is being very bossy and so I thought this was my American colleague's way of telling me I was being too assertive. So the next time I called that person, I would be EVEN MORE polite, as I thought I had offended them last time!:eek:

 

It is nice to know that they were just being equally well mannered!:)

 

Whether "Yes, Ma'am" is considered good manners is both regional, occupational, and to a lesser extent generational in the U.S. In the South, children have been traditionally taught to respond to adults - even their parents - with "Yes, Sir" or "Yes, Ma'am." As adults, it is considered polite to refer to others, particularly with, for example, a boss, a customer, or an elder as "Sir" or "Ma'am". The person referring to you as "Sir" or "Ma'am" is doing so to honor you and let you know that you are important to them.

 

While common in the South, some women in the Northeast or California might take offense to being ma'amed because they think they're being called old or that their position should be emphasized. A famous example of someone taking offense was Senator Barbara Boxer of California who asked a military officer to call her "Senator" instead of "Ma'am" - most thought that she was the one being impolite.

 

IMHO it's impolite to take offense at something that someone does to honor you. It's also impolite to use a term if you believe that it would cause offense. I'm much more wary of using "Ma'am" than "Sir".

[Miss SeaBee]

A pet peeve of mine is when a wait person will reply "No problem" when I ask for extra napkins, a refill, etc. Of course it's not a problem!!!! It's your job, not a favor you are doing me!!!!!

 

Agree!! When did "no problem" become the nationwide substitute for "you're welcome?"

[tip]

.... but I HATE being called "you guys" by a waiter.

 

I do not care for this either. It must be a generational thing.;)

[swsfrail]

We eat out all the time ... mostly casual ... and on occasion we've had the waiter sit down with us to take our order. It's never really bothered us, but I've never had a waitress try to sit in Mr. Chew's lap! Or mine. No worries ... no problem ... my pleasure ... you're welcome ... I think that under the circumstances we're talking about, they all basically mean the same, and none of them bother me. The only things that bothers me about waiters are when they constantly ask us how everything is, sometimes before we've even had a chance to try everything!, and being called "you guys" I don't mind being called "ma'am" (although I would prefer my proper title of "Your Majesty") but I HATE being called "you guys" by a waiter.

 

I don't mind "you guys" at all. Makes me feel so much younger than I really am! :rolleyes:

[artmc]

The serving staff who say "no problem" are being polite. Language changes, not necessarily for the better, but the people who say it mean well. There are expressions that annoy each of us - I have no problem with no problem, but I wish "you'll be good to go" would just go. However, I know that the 20- something clerk saying it means it in a friendly, polite manner and that's all that counts. Life is much too short to worry about the literal interpretation of well-meant thoughts.

 

There's a huge difference between a new (if annoying) but politely-stated expression, and the examples of hostility shown towards staff members and (occasionally) passengers. There's absolutely no excuse for the latter.

[Alg63]

Many staff have native tongues other than English and pick up phrases they hear around them which are used frequently but may not necessarily be the best way of saying something and no one tells them otherwise. Please don't take it personally or. Feel they are being rude. I don't say it's right or good English, but " no problem" has become an internationally used phrase.

[jacketwatch]

I respectfully disagree. The comment implies that they are making an exception and are going out of their way for the customer. To include the word "problem" suggests that the task is more than should be expected but they are being too polite to admit it. I myself occasionally use the phrase "no problem" when I am thanked for doing something over and above what would normally be expected for my line of work. To bring extra napkins or a refill of coffee is not "over and above" their job duties.

 

The proper response to these requests should be "my pleasure" or the like.

 

I don't think so. It's all in your tone and attitude. Your interpretation is too literal. Ever been to the Caribbean? This expression is common and is meant to be cordial.

 

The term "Aloha" is a Hawaiian greeting as we know but as a native from there told me it can mean the opposite as well when said sarcastically. It's how how you say it.

[jacketwatch]

Totally agree! We have seen too many adults behave like spoiled brats on ships and it sometimes gets us angry. Recently, on a long Prinsendam cruise we witnessed a gentleman (I use this term loosely) rudely order a variation of eggs benedict at breakfast. The passenger spoke to the cook like he was the passenger's slave. A nice lady, standing next to the man, quickly said to the cook, "I think he meant to say please!" The male passenger quickly turned a strange shade of red but did not say another word :).

 

Hank

 

Nice. :)

 

When we were checking out of our Istanbul hotel last fall some guy had a question about his bill but instead of giving the receptionist a chance to respond instead launched into an attack culminating with a demand to get the general managers name. It was way out of line. Afterwards Intold the receptionist how nice things were, and indeed they were and promised a nice review on Trip Advisor.

[Lady Chew]

Your Majesty, where do you reside in Northern Virginia? That is where we spent most of our lives before becoming Floridians.

 

Jack, we recently moved from the Burke area out to Loudoun County, near Dulles (to be closed to our travel flights):D A brand new castle! No moat, though ... fortunately! We wanted to get rid of all outside maintenance!

Are you any relation to "the" Jack Diamond ... as in the Jack Diamond morning show? I don't listen to the radio every morning, but when I do, he's the man!

[jackdiamond]

Jack, we recently moved from the Burke area out to Loudoun County, near Dulles (to be closed to our travel flights):D A brand new castle! No moat, though ... fortunately! We wanted to get rid of all outside maintenance!

 

Are you any relation to "the" Jack Diamond ... as in the Jack Diamond morning show? I don't listen to the radio every morning, but when I do, he's the man!

Thank you. No, that was my singing name many years ago. I lived in Fairfax County for many years; and, I am very familiar with Burke and Loudon County. As you are probably aware Loudon County was named the most affluent county in the U.S., in 2011, while Fairfax was second in that category. However, in 2011, Fairfax was number one. Loudon also has some great deer hunting.