Captain Table Conversation - what would you do?

[brigittetom]

If you want to have a fun conversation with the Captain ask him, after a few glasses of wine, how tired he is of all the same old questions such as "if you are here, who's steering the boat".

 

If you think it's rude to bring up politics during dinner you should have been at the Captains table with us. We had a drunk lady slapping the gentleman sitting next to her on the back of the head constantly and calling him a *****. Personally, I wouldn't be surprised if sometime in the future the Masters unite and there are no more dinners at the Captains table. I for one wouldn't blame them. The days of genteel sailings are over so why should they have to keep up with the protocal since so many cruisers don't.

 

Zenith from Jacksonville

Feb. 13 05

[kelmac]

Well said Cyndi!

 

link to Skagway weather

[debjac]

Thanks for all the input - if faced with the same situation in the future I'll definitely chime in with Dave&Ann's suggestion!

[mafig]

Our first cruise was early December 2000. I was so nervous before we went because, as you remember, the election was up in the air, we had those recounts, those hanging chads, etc. What if I was at a table and people were discussing it and their opinion was different than mine, would I chime in, hold my tongue, or what.

 

I didn't have to worry. No one even mentioned the election, thank goodness! I think most people know enough not to discuss politics with strangers.

 

In our neighborhood, we have two long-time friends who are longer speaking after an after election party dispute.

[birders]

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by debjac:

if faced with the same situation in the future I'll definitely chime in with Dave&Ann's suggestion!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

 

Yup, like I suggested way back! That kind of comment is a humorous conversation-stopper to say, "let's go in another direction." (And of course, our Red Sox will always provide great fodder for conversations!) "Wait 'til next year."

[Giorgi-one]

The captain was pro-american but had reservations and negative comments. Sounds like about 50% of the people in America. Do you expect everyone to agree with you?

[sgrissom]

No one expects everyone to agree with them on everything. What a boring world that would be. But as Babette said, sex, politics and religion are just plain inappropriate conversation at a dinner party. These are topics about which folks tend to have strongly held opinions and debates can get downright emotional and nasty. Everything might work out fine as it did with the poster's Cuba discussion, but sometimes a few drinks and some strongly held opinions can end up offending people. Everybody will have much more fun talking about other topics.

 

And knowing your tablemates well doesn't always mean it's OK to bring up those topics. My husband and I have completely different political ideas than my father and step-mother. After several discussions that almost ended in tears we have agreed that politics is completely off limits.

 

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[Kathleen P.]

In a situstion such as that you need a tension breaker....think Rodney Dangerfield at the dinner table in Caddyshack........that will change the mood of the table

[travel4u]

I just returned from a 10 day cruise on the Mercury to Mexico yesterday. I was very surprised and delighted to receive an invitation to dine at the Captains table on the first formal night. We had such a fun group of people and it was obvious from the very beginning that Captain Petridis had a great sense of humor, which was very refreshing. There was much laughter, in fact I was self conscience at times at how loud we were. We kept the conversation light and fun and he absolutely loved it. In fact, he enjoyed dining with us so much that he invited all of us back to dine with him on the last formal night as well. He also invited us up for a Bridge tour and we all drank ouzo with him and had appetizers. The social hostess, Shelly, told us that this was extremely unusual, especially being invited to dine with hime twice. She said he had never done that before, so we were very honored. So, needless to say, my advise would be to keep the conversation light and fun.

 

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[srpilo]

A little OT..

 

Welcome back "Babette", your voice of reason and experience has been missed.

 

 

Fellow Cruise Lover

Srpilo

[CaribbeanBound]

Isn't the proper etiquette to pronounce that not all Americans have aggressive world dominating tendencies, especially when oil is at stake, and then promptly stab the Canadian* with your fork?

 

*[no offense to Canadians, eh. It could have been anybody].

 

[This message was edited by CaribbeanBound on 05-06-04 at 09:32 PM.]

[BocaRoo]

My husband, Kevin, and I happened to be at the Captain's table with Debjac and her husband during this particular dinner. I was seated to the Captain's left. For a good portion of the evening, the wife of one of the "Most Frequent Cruisers," who was seated on the Captain's right, kept him engaged in conversation - almost to the point of rudeness. Kevin asked me twice if I was ignoring our host and I explained that the Captain hadn't even turned our way once. At some point (must have been after the political question came up), during rare a moment of silence the Captain looked over at me; I thought a light and positive topic of conversation would be appropriate at that juncture. I politely mentioned (grammar and tone were flawless) that we had had a delightful day in Barbados and that we were awed on our shore excursion, during which we swam with many sea turtles - something we've been anxious to do for a long time. The Captain looked at me as if I was nuts and did not comment or reply in any way. I actually felt embarrassed for a moment and turned back to Kevin.

 

To be honest, I feel that dining at the Captain's table is over-rated (this was our third such experience). Our regular dinner table consisted of us, plus four other wonderful couples. We will think very carefully before accepting another invitation to dine with the Captain when our own table is graced by such lovely people.

 

Jill

[brigittetom]

MiamiRoo, If that were my experience at the Captains table, I wouldn't hesitate to decline the next time. Who needs that on a cruise? I was actually the one who got the Captains attention all thru dinner but that was only because the couple on his right were so shy and really didn't want to talk.

 

Zenith from Jacksonville

Feb. 13 05

[Moeve]

I agree it may not have been the proper way but lets give the canadian gent alittle slak here. I mean the US & its current dealings all over the world make up a large part of our everyday news in fact face it if even affects our everyday lives outside the US too so maybe he was just trying to start a conversation to which everyone has an opinion and everyone can join in.

 

Babette I may not always agree with you but it IS nice to hear from you again

[joramrose]

I have to back up Moeve's point here.

 

I have been on three cruises and have visited four countries on land tours since 9-11. I found every foreigner I met most anxious to talk about what the US is doing, what my feelings (as an American) are, etc.

 

We have to face it -- what America does or does not do, good or bad, affects the rest of the world. Foreigners travel and/or go out of their way to meet visitors to their land the same as we do -- to share ideas, to learn something of other viewpoints/

 

How boring travel would be if we only exchanged views on beaches, tourist sites and the food. (Hey, even a discussion of food peculiar to each country can be dicey!)

 

love

joan

[davis0056]

Politics, sex and religion are always a dangerous topic of conversation within a group of strangers. Add a couple glasses of wine and it has the potential to become a volatile mixture.
My husband and I recently retired from over 20 years each in the US Army and we have very strong feelings. We try very hard to avoid sharing those views in a situation where everyone has their own opinions and everyone ‘knows’ their opinions are the ‘right ones.’
That said, we see 3 people who acted inappropriately-IMHO-rudely. 1. The person that started the conversation (and we don’t care what country the person is from), 2. The Captain (master of the ship has no place in this subject), he was hosting guests and should have made every effort to ensure the conversation and topics would not be offensive or uncomfortable to anyone. In his position he should have had some training in interpersonal skills. He either missed or flunked the course. 3. The hostess, if present, should also have defused the situation, because she/he should have had the same training.
Would my husband and I have spoken up-oh ya! But that is just us. It is a personal decision as to how a person should respond.

Dave and Elaine

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[Sparkle 123]

We were fortunate enough to be invited to dine on the Captains table on our last cruise on the Century.
Unforunately I was seated next to an elderly gentleman who had no qualms in telling me he was a member of the Hitler youth movement in the 2nd world war and many people had told him that Hitler "didn't finish the job". As you can imagine it was a real conversation stopper. I could't wait to tell my husband after the meal and what a story to tell our tablemates the next evening especially as one of them was a guest lecturer on British history. He was absolutely astounded, I only wish he had been part of the conversation he would have wiped the floor with him!! I decided to ignore his remarks as I didn't want to spoil the ambiance for the rest of the table, besides, what could you possibly say to that without being rude?

[Lois R]

abbafan...my hats off to you and your classiness...
I don't know what I would have done if someone said those words to me. I actually might have left the table at the point. I know that would have been rude as well, but in my eyes, It probably would have been better for everyone, rather than really getting into anything with him about it.
I realize bigotry exits all over the world...,
One question, are you the only one who heard the comment?
What did anyone else at the table say?

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[DocJohnB]

Babette,

Once again, you are totally, "spot on".


There are a thousand and one items acceptable for a conversation with the skipper.

Politics, is not, cannot, and should never be on of those items.


<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ocngypz:
This has happened to me as well.. though one of my table mates happened to ask our host about Cyprus vis a vis Greece and Turkey.

Our host, very gracefully, changed the subject.

Your host should have done the same as well.

Sex, politics and religion do not make for polite, social dinnertable conversation.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

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[Moeve]

I think the Capt had quite a problem here - it would have been equally rude for him just to ignore the Gent who started the topic and unfortunately this topic develops a life of it´s own - see this thread - it just isn´t some thing that can be curb in one sentence especially in current times. When confronted with a topic like this I always try to remember that my counter part is entiteled to his/her opinion just like I am and he/she is not being personal. Those of us who travel extensively often find the sentements of those who we meet are often different to those sentiments promoted by the media around the world. Sex, Scandal and Controversy sells news!!
Ok I am off my soap box now

[Sparkle 123]

Lois R
In answer to your question, yes I was the only one who he said this to as far as I know which is why I didn't repeat it to anyone else on the table. It all adds to lifes experience I guess!