Ultimate Cruise Snob Stories

[Amuse Bouche]

On the flip side, you know what I love? And makes the snooticrats run screaming? The eccentrics! The people who are so full of life and happiness that they just drive most people mad. I'm quiet and reserved, so I don't attract them, but sometimes I get paired up with them for a table, or an excursion...and I just love them!! Even the ones that have to grab your shoulder and pull you into their bubble, not realizing that your bubble is off limits. They are always the nicest people, and really make a vacation fun.

[NoGvmnt]

Your suggestion is way too nice...but I like it.

 

I would have called a crew member over and (looking straight in the brats eyes) requested that the crew member remove the turd from the hot tub.;)

[PunkiC]

On the flip side, you know what I love? And makes the snooticrats run screaming? The eccentrics! The people who are so full of life and happiness that they just drive most people mad. I'm quiet and reserved, so I don't attract them, but sometimes I get paired up with them for a table, or an excursion...and I just love them!! Even the ones that have to grab your shoulder and pull you into their bubble, not realizing that your bubble is off limits. They are always the nicest people, and really make a vacation fun.

 

When we were on the QM2 we had asked for a table for 8 and were assigned a table for 2. I dearly love my husband but after almost 45 years together I already know all of his stories. When I went up to the maitre d to see about getting another table there was a man in front of me insisting on a table for two in order to escape from this "horrible Brit" who just talked nonstop. When he left I asked the maitre d how many people were at table from which the man had escaped. When he said 8, I said oh please seat us there. The Brit did talk a lot, but he was an absolute kick and we enjoyed him tremendously. He had been in the music business and had worked with such folks as The Rolling Stones. We loved his stories. He would definitely qualify at an eccentric, but a truly entertaining one.

[KruzPrincess]

I think it's all about how you ask. If you say, "Could you please put my steak on the grill a little longer?" they'll probably respond, "Of course!" But if you say, "I ordered MEDIUM WELL," then you're not going to be making many friends.

 

There's no harm in making requests. But you're more likely to get what you want when you do it nicely and actually take a moment to think about how you're going to say something.

 

That's really how almost everything is. A lot of people mentioned on this thread as snobs came off as snobs because of their tone of voice and language used. But had they just rephrased what they wanted or their observations, they wouldn't be noted as thinking exceptionally high of themselves or looking down upon other people.

 

You were responding to my post. Yes, I know they would say "of course". I just wouldn't do it. I'm pretty easy going. I do agree with you that tone and the way you ask for something can make all the difference in the world, though. If I actually got something completely different than what I ordered, I'd likely ask them to correct that. And I wouldn't be snapping my fingers and calling the workers 'boy' and 'girl'. ;)

[KruzPrincess]

I've found that if I don't eat a good portion of whatever the dish is, the waiters get upset and ask if anything's the matter. I think they're concerned that I'm not going to say anything and possibly mark them down as less than a 10 on the survey. Either I tell them my eyes were bigger than my stomach or say that it isn't really to my taste. Sometimes, I ask for something else, sometimes I let it go. As they get to know me, they know that I order a variety of things on the menu, from appetizer to soup to salad so it's very possible I don't have much of an appetite for an entree.

 

You get far more with honey than vinegar.

 

That is my experience as well. The worker will often ask if everything is OK and I assure them that I'm just fine.

[KruzPrincess]

On cruises in Australian waters the vast majority of pax bring or buy a lanyard and hang the cruises card around their neck. When we did a couple of cruises out of FLL I noticed the custom wasn't as prevalent with U.S. based ships. Maybe it's just an Aussie thing. Anyway cruise cards are not coloured to denote status on P&O ships over here. When we did our first Princess cruise we had the blue one and we had some friends who were Elite. One day we heard the wife telling the hubby to flip over his cruise card on the lanyard as the black face wasn't displayed.

What worries me is that now we are up in the lofty echelons I might be thought of being a bit of a wanker for hanging it off a lanyard.

 

Funny thing. Several years back we used to punch our own hole in the card and pin it to ourselves with a big safety pin. I just don't have pockets in most of my clothes and I didn't want to carry a bag. So, when lanyards came about I thought it was a great thing. I wore it all the time without a thought until I started reading here that those black card elites were just being snobs and showing off and bragging. Now, I turn my card over so you can't see my status. If I go to lunch in the dining room I try to make sure my card isn't visable. Now, did CC train me or what? LOL.

[GHDPeter]

Here is a fun game to play if you are elite and going to the captains lunch and captains circle cocktail party.

 

Go to the reception desk and ask for a spare key to your cabin. It will be blue with no details on it. Have a hole punched in it and put it on your lanyard as you head of to the lunch or cocktail party.

 

Now you have a few options when the other elites see you in there with a blue on you can tell them

1. Say " is this open for lunch every day?"

2. Say nothing and wait and see who confronts you first

3. Say "they didnt have the Premium Elite cards ready yet"

4. Say "i won this at Vegas, its my first cruise"

 

;)

[MicCanberra]

Here is a fun game to play if you are elite and going to the captains lunch and captains circle cocktail party.

 

Go to the reception desk and ask for a spare key to your cabin. It will be blue with no details on it. Have a hole punched in it and put it on your lanyard as you head of to the lunch or cocktail party.

 

Now you have a few options when the other elites see you in there with a blue on you can tell them

1. Say " is this open for lunch every day?"

2. Say nothing and wait and see who confronts you first

3. Say "they didnt have the Premium Elite cards ready yet"

4. Say "i won this at Vegas, its my first cruise"

 

;)

LOL, too funny and almost worth doing. Hang on a minute, I am not elite yet.:D

[PunkiC]

I also would never send food back, unless I got the wrong thing. I know food on a cruise ship is like banquet dining and I don't expect food to be made to order. If I don't like something I don't eat it. I wouldn't add to the waiters work by asking them to keep going back over and over again. That's just me, though. There's always another meal.

 

I go to dinner to eat dinner. Not sit there and ignore bad food. What's the other option if they bring you something you can't eat? Order something else? Isn't that even more extra work? I don't eat a lot, but when it is time to eat, it is time to eat and I truly do expect something palatable.

 

The night I had to send my halibut back three times, there were only 12 people eating in the entire dining room--seriously it was deserted. I don't believe I was overworking anyone and it was hardly a banquet situation.

 

Obviously something was very much amiss if the head chef himself ended up being the one to cook my final piece of fish. Tossing a piece of fish on the grill for a few minutes really isn't that much of a challenge, especially under the circumstances that prevailed. Maybe all of the cooks had the night off in town, because they figured (correctly as it happens) that all of the passengers would also be off the ship--well except for us, 10 other passengers, a few waiters and the head chef. Maybe the cooks had cooked the halibut before they went to town and left it sitting on the counter for the waiters to serve later--it sure tasted like that. ;)

 

I don't make unreasonable demands, am always extremely polite to the staff, but I also believe (call me a snob if you will) that I should be able to expect decent food--a good piece of fish, a veggie and a salad with dressing on the side, all of which should be pretty easy.

[dickwho]

There was a woman at the table next to us - the first night she was very unhappy as she wanted a plate of shrimp and cocktail sauce. It was not available and she made a scene. The next night when she got to the table there was a platter of shrimp and cocktail sauce for the table to share. She again made a scene because she hadn't wanted it that night and had the waiter take it away. It was the same every night. The last night (this was before auto tips) she made a big production out of giving the waiter a dollar bill for his tip. When he came to our table he was almost in tears. She truly was the nastiest woman I have ever encountered, and am thankful that she wasn't at our table.

 

I've done two previous cruises, Cunard & Princess, and I suppose spent something like 150 nights on board.

 

You know, I've never, ever, had a bad meal. I wouldn't dream of sending something back that I ordered, but I was brought up in a house full of women and my gran was the chief cook. In her younger days she was a mafia enforcer, and the quote, 'What doesn't fatten fills, so eat it', was frequently heard. We ate it too.

 

Having been in the army at one time in my life, and did penance as a casual waiter on officer's mess formal nights, I saw what cooks and kitchen hands can do to the food of objectionable people at table.

 

So you treat waiters etc. nicely, cause they'll getcha if you don't!

[Amuse Bouche]

The night I had to send my halibut back three times, there were only 12 people eating in the entire dining room--seriously it was deserted. I don't believe I was overworking anyone and it was hardly a banquet situation.

 

Obviously something was very much amiss if the head chef himself ended up being the one to cook my final piece of fish. Tossing a piece of fish on the grill for a few minutes really isn't that much of a challenge, especially under the circumstances that prevailed.

I don't make unreasonable demands, am always extremely polite to the staff, but I also believe (call me a snob if you will) that I should be able to expect decent food--a good piece of fish, a veggie and a salad with dressing on the side, all of which should be pretty easy.

 

Actually, cooking halibut is not that easy. The "grill" or pan has to be the correct temperature. Too cold and the fish will boil in it's own water, too hot and the outer layer will be overcooked if you wait until the inside is cooked. And halibut, of all fish, is extremely delicate. It loses it's moisture very quickly.

 

I'm with you tho, I am polite, but I will try to get something cooked well. I give up after they bring the second plate tho. I then ask for something else. If they can't get it right on the second try, there is just going to be frustration for me, and them.

 

I actually never order halibut in restaurants. It's taken me much trial and error to cook it well, and I know that I will be disappointed in a restaurant. Even a very nice one. Salmon is different, as it has a higher oil content.

[2BeOnaBoat]

I go to dinner to eat dinner. Not sit there and ignore bad food. What's the other option if they bring you something you can't eat? Order something else? Isn't that even more extra work? I don't eat a lot, but when it is time to eat, it is time to eat and I truly do expect something palatable.

 

The night I had to send my halibut back three times, there were only 12 people eating in the entire dining room--seriously it was deserted. I don't believe I was overworking anyone and it was hardly a banquet situation.

 

Obviously something was very much amiss if the head chef himself ended up being the one to cook my final piece of fish. Tossing a piece of fish on the grill for a few minutes really isn't that much of a challenge, especially under the circumstances that prevailed. Maybe all of the cooks had the night off in town, because they figured (correctly as it happens) that all of the passengers would also be off the ship--well except for us, 10 other passengers, a few waiters and the head chef. Maybe the cooks had cooked the halibut before they went to town and left it sitting on the counter for the waiters to serve later--it sure tasted like that. ;)

 

I don't make unreasonable demands, am always extremely polite to the staff, but I also believe (call me a snob if you will) that I should be able to expect decent food--a good piece of fish, a veggie and a salad with dressing on the side, all of which should be pretty easy.

 

I'll probably get crucified for this... but sending fish back 3 times is unreasonable. If they can't get it right on the 2nd time move on.

 

Combine the nonchalant attitude to tossing the fish on the grill and you might have the making of a snob. :eek:

[shorbr]

Actually, cooking halibut is not that easy. The "grill" or pan has to be the correct temperature. Too cold and the fish will boil in it's own water, too hot and the outer layer will be overcooked if you wait until the inside is cooked. And halibut, of all fish, is extremely delicate. It loses it's moisture very quickly.

 

I'm with you tho, I am polite, but I will try to get something cooked well. I give up after they bring the second plate tho. I then ask for something else. If they can't get it right on the second try, there is just going to be frustration for me, and them.

 

I actually never order halibut in restaurants. It's taken me much trial and error to cook it well, and I know that I will be disappointed in a restaurant. Even a very nice one. Salmon is different, as it has a higher oil content.

 

I love any steak that I eat well done. Just the thought of seeing pink makes me nauseated. We were eating at Porotofino's and my steak came back medium done. I did not want to make a fuss, but I think the waiter saw the look on my face. He asked me if I was not pleased with my steak, and very humbly I told him that I wanted it well done. He said he would take it back and have it cooked to my liking or I could get something else. I wanted the steak and asked if i could please have it very well done. I apologized for the trouble and he came back with my steak cooked to perfection. But like you, if the don't get it on the second try, I will just order something else.

[sashas_mom]

I feel I have to comment here. Some disabilities are not obvious. My daughter has a debilitating pain disorder (RSD if you want to Google it) and depending on whether she has a flare-up or not, needs space for her leg when seated. Most of the time, she looks like a perfectly normal young woman in her 30's who can walk well but trust me, you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy. Being cramped in a seat without being able to stretch her leg could trigger a flare-up and cause her a pain level of 10 on a scale of 1-10. She gets dirty and nasty looks when she parks in a handicapped space. If they only knew. I've learned to not judge a book by it's cover. :(

 

I completely understand, Pam. I have Fibromyalga and a lot of back problems as well. On cruises I have a mobility scooter,which is a life saver for me. However, i love to dance and once in a while I will dance once or twice for the sheer joy of it, even though I usually pay the price of it later. I often wonder what people are thinking when they see me dancing and then driving off in my scooter or sitting in the "handicap" seat on the tour bus. Sometimes I feel like I need to explain, but then again, they probably wouldn't really completely u derstand the pain I live with unless they know someone who has it. Sometimes I can walk short distances just fine, and other times I can't. So the moral of the story is as you say, "don't judge", etc.

[madjohn]

I've done two previous cruises, Cunard & Princess, and I suppose spent something like 150 nights on board.

 

You know, I've never, ever, had a bad meal. I wouldn't dream of sending something back that I ordered, but I was brought up in a house full of women and my gran was the chief cook. In her younger days she was a mafia enforcer, and the quote, 'What doesn't fatten fills, so eat it', was frequently heard. We ate it too.

 

Having been in the army at one time in my life, and did penance as a casual waiter on officer's mess formal nights, I saw what cooks and kitchen hands can do to the food of objectionable people at table.

 

So you treat waiters etc. nicely, cause they'll getcha if you don't!

 

I don't have your experience but you have confirmed both my belief and practice.

[sherryf]

On the flip side, you know what I love? And makes the snooticrats run screaming? The eccentrics! The people who are so full of life and happiness that they just drive most people mad. I'm quiet and reserved, so I don't attract them, but sometimes I get paired up with them for a table, or an excursion...and I just love them!! Even the ones that have to grab your shoulder and pull you into their bubble, not realizing that your bubble is off limits. They are always the nicest people, and really make a vacation fun.

 

I had one of these on my last cruise and it made for a fun time all week. This woman sat down next to me by the pool and just started talking away. Turns out she was competing in Princess Pop Star and we went to see her. It's always more fun to watch when you know one of the competitors, I think. I ran into her all week and she was always so friendly and outgoing and fun... and maybe just a little tipsy. ;) Spiced up my week for sure!

[PunkiC]

I'll probably get crucified for this... but sending fish back 3 times is unreasonable. If they can't get it right on the 2nd time move on.

 

Combine the nonchalant attitude to tossing the fish on the grill and you might have the making of a snob. :eek:

 

I guess I am just much more optimistic than you. :)

 

Most of the time they get it right and, if they don't, there are times when I don't bother, but since there was no one else in our section of the dining room, I gave them the benefit of the doubt and, eventually, they did get it right.

 

On normal nights, you are probably right, it's not worth the effort.

[crafty sue]

We were on P & O cruise last year our second so not so experienced or member of any Elite group !! At dinner the first night we were sat on a table for 6, our dinner conpanions were two lovely mid aged sisters and a couple ! now the couple introduced themselves then told us that is was there 23rd cruise and they were going on another in 4 weeks time, and that they had booked 2 more already ( 1st day on board !!) They told us they were in a min-suite, which was a bit off for them as they missed out on booking a suite. They also told us they were retired tax inspectors ! I joked that no wonder they could afford cruising then as they knew how to book the system !. Later in the week I was taken ill and was confined to cabin with a chest infection, so couldn't join them for dinner, Oh what a shame !.... but to top it all we received a letter... yes a letter inviting us for pre dinner drinks in their suite on the last formal night.... so I wrote back saying I was soooo sorry we couldn't attend as the doctor won't let me come out and Play. I am sorry but I was quite pleased I was ill as I couldn't stand their bragging for 7 nights - They said they knew all the staff, the chef, the captain aghhhh....

[swedish weave]

Having been in the army at one time in my life, and did penance as a casual waiter on officer's mess formal nights, I saw what cooks and kitchen hands can do to the food of objectionable people at table.

 

So you treat waiters etc. nicely, cause they'll getcha if you don't!

 

Aaah Yes !!!! A vivid description of reality. How many snobs have unknowingly been the receipients of retribution and didn't even suspect it?

 

AND --- Not only in the Army. If your rejected meal is returned to you with a "too sweet" smile from the waiter --- LOOK OUT !!!

 

Great post !!!!:D

[nhcruiser]

Aaah Yes !!!! A vivid description of reality. How many snobs have unknowingly been the receipients of retribution and didn't even suspect it?

 

AND --- Not only in the Army. If your rejected meal is returned to you with a "too sweet" smile from the waiter --- LOOK OUT !!!

 

Great post !!!!:D

 

Do you mean like the "Fish Course" from the dinner party sceen in the movie War of the Roses?:p

[Fairport]

I've found that if I don't eat a good portion of whatever the dish is, the waiters get upset and ask if anything's the matter. I think they're concerned that I'm not going to say anything and possibly mark them down as less than a 10 on the survey. Either I tell them my eyes were bigger than my stomach or say that it isn't really to my taste. Sometimes, I ask for something else, sometimes I let it go. As they get to know me, they know that I order a variety of things on the menu, from appetizer to soup to salad so it's very possible I don't have much of an appetite for an entree.

 

You get far more with honey than vinegar.

 

We very seldom eat dessert and usually leave the table after the main entree. On our last cruise our waiter was concerned that something was the matter, but after a couple of days it became a running joke that we would "escape" before they would have a chance to give us the dessert menu. When we finally did stay around for dessert they were really pleased.

 

We have run into a some snobs on our cruises, we have run into them at home too. We don't let them or rude people ruin our vacation, we just ignore them and keep on having fun. It's too bad that they can't have fun also.

[Anubi]

I guess this qualifies as snobbery. We were lucky enough to get chosen for the Chef's Table and were beyond thrilled. While having our incredible appetizers in the galley with the head chef and Generoso (wonderful wonderful man) before dinner, one of our fellow diners said rather loudly that he felt that the cheesecake throughout the ship wasn't consistent. A deep silence followed that remark. But as someone remarked to me later, just how much cheesecake did he eat to make that judgment. :rolleyes:

On the subject of the card, we never thought about it until someone seemed shocked that we were "only" gold cards. The way we were stared at after that remark made me wonder if we they thought we were going to pop out with two heads! Oh the shame ROFL

On that same cruise one of the entertainers wives went to the Pursers Desk with a card issue. Apparently the entertainers always get the blue cards and she was embarassed by this and demanded, in a very over the top way, that they be issued a black card. She was denied. :p DH being a bit of devil decided right then and there that he was going to demand a blue card for every cruise just for the fun of it.

[fourkittys]

Oh, please! I know I'm old; I don't need to be reminded of that fact. :) All I need to do is look in the mirror in the morning. Amazing what make-up can do to blur that image and let me forget for a few hours. Besides, would you call your mother an old sea dog? :)

 

LOL! You are so funny, I love reading your comments and great informatiom. I know you would be a fun person to cruise with and being called "old" isn't a reminder I relish also.:D Thank you!

[Times Prince]

Our biggest snob was a Travel Agent (TA) who was on our HAL cruise "to audit their product and service". Travelling alone, she was seated at the dining room table where we and our 21 year old daughter sat. Throughout the cruise she noticed little peccadillos in service, always concluded with "I am going to tell the Captain about that during our meeting in his cabin". These included such grave sins as pouring water for two people from the same location, or not serving from the left and removing from the right (or whichever direction it was - we still don't care. :rolleyes:), or providing the wrong kind of knife for fish (OMG!). She even complained about the overall service, which we had a hard time not laughing about to her face - as I mentioned our daughter was with us and was the ONLY person onboard in the 20's age group. Our daughter lacked for nothing, and we had male waiters from all over the dining room coming to our table to impress her with magic tricks, fancy napkin folding, and catering to her slightest suggestion ( I do have to admit that even we had occasional difficulty getting their attention away from her).

 

We got great service, and I am sure the Captain got an ear full from her list that she maintained in a little notebook. :eek:

[PunkiC]

I guess I must be on a different wave length, but I honestly can't understand why people assume that if you are sending something back, you are automatically rude. It is possible to be extremely sweet and thoughtful and return something that isn't properly prepared.

 

I also have difficulty believing that the charming waiters we have experienced on our cruises would behave in a vengeful manner. Moreover, contaminating any passenger's food, even if they deserved it would automatically cost them their job.

 

Of course, it could happen, but I have enough faith in the decency of the cruise staff that I am not going to worry about it.