Help with corporate...

[maggie cruises]

Yes I did and the head security was not to apologetic or concerned with the situation, was just making excuses for the language barrier, my daughter was removed from her room at 4:30 in the morning by 2 security officers to look for a "missing" girl that she was with earlier, I would not have minded helping look for the girl but I would have liked to have known, I am just fearful that this is common practice and was really disturbed by the events

 

this is extremely disturbing! I post here frequently about the issues of putting kids in their own cabin and while I have done it with my dd's ages 12 to 22, I don't really like it and prefer connecting cabins even if it means OV's..which we prefer over Balconies anyway.

 

My main problem with it is that too many people on the ship have access to the cabins..as in the security..had she not opened the door, they would have just opened it themselves. same for the steward, the maintenance crew, etc.

 

I have absolutely no love and rather low levels of respect for cruise ship security as I have seen them in action and I don't like their ways. especially when it is obvious, as in your case, that strong arm tactics were not needed.

 

The child was 14 and should never have been removed without you present, nor should her room have been entered.

 

Of course, and I say this all the time, in many many parts of the world, age 14 is considered an adult...that may be why they didn't get you, the mom.

 

as it happened at sea, it is doubtful that any laws protect you against what happened and your best bet IMHO is to file a complaint with NCL. Long term..it might make sense to look into publicizing your ordeal.

 

btw...this is coming from a pacifist, low key individual...but one that knows when boundries have been overstepped.

 

finally, this is a good example of why the new "best friends" made on a ship should be kept at arms length and recognized for what they are...total strangers.

 

good luck!

[jdro]

Yes her brother was in the room with her did they use poor judgement absolutely, but this is the problem that I am having why is it easier to question me then to look question what security did. I would have had no problem going with them to look for this girl, her poor parents but how this was handled I think was wrong everyone is entitled to their opinion but do not question my parenting.

[MCAT48]

Well I hope they found your daughters friend.

[maggie cruises]

Could security have handled this in a better way----YES! However, they had to let your daughter get dressed right, why didn't she call you? In an adjoining room she could have knocked on the door or called? Did she ask security to let her talk to you??

I'm not a pilgrim nor amish, but, even though many suggest and many actually do allow minor children to have their own room, NCL does not allow it. This is one of the reasons why, minor children do not always make sound decisions. Was there no one else assigned to this room, your daughter was the only one living in the room? Where was her brother or another adult?

If you felt your daughter was mature enough to have her own room and make her own decisions about her safety I would think there was a discussion with her before hand about what she should do?

 

the answers to you questions will shed some light on this situation. I hope the OP answers them.

 

regardless of what the 14 yo was thinking, I am disgusted with NCL for allowing this to happen.

[maggie cruises]

Yes her brother was in the room with her did they use poor judgement absolutely, but this is the problem that I am having why is it easier to question me then to look question what security did. I would have had no problem going with them to look for this girl, her poor parents but how this was handled I think was wrong everyone is entitled to their opinion but do not question my parenting.

 

I have had 14 yo's..3 times already..and one yet to reach it! Yes, great parenting over here as well...and yes, they do some stupid things those 14 yo's...even the ones that are the Valedictorians!

 

bottom line...your dd as well as security needed to communicate with you...that all.

 

14 yo are called minors for a reason..they can't be held responsible at times...security should have known better...but considering the lack of respect I have for ship security...I am praying they didn't have some other ulterior motives!

[mpk218]

This needs to be addressed by corporate immediately.

I would have been furious if this happened to one of mine.

This is not a small matter and a policy change or review is in high order.

NCL , I know you read these , you had better get on this ..

 

MPK218 ( NCL cheerleader )

[luddite]

1) WHERE WAS THE ADULT OR RESPONSIBLE PARTY IN THAT ROOM AT 4:30am???

2) Why would security have to seek the parents approval to question her daughter. THERE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ADULT IN THAT ROOM!!!

 

HELLO IS ANYONE HOME...

 

There is a huge missing piece of this puzzle.

I'm very interested how the OP assigned the cabin manifest.

 

These are my questions as well.

[A1SusieQ]

Hi Jennifer,

 

I am so sorry that this happened to your daughter and family.

 

Don't allow the people on this board to question you or your parenting skills. Your daughter was the victim.

 

Please keep us updated as to any resolution of your phone call/email to corporate.

 

It is ironic that the security team can't diffuse a chair hogging fight, but they can pluck your child out of bed in the middle of the night.

[Seanote]

I see a lot of repeated responses here:

“They had no right….”

They didn’t follow protocol….”

Non-US security staff on a non-US ship in presumed non-US waters, how are ones rights being defined here? Who actually knows what the protocol or policies are here?

Although the actions of the staff may not be perceived to be handled to the ideals of the respondents, how can statements be made of violated rights and protocols?

Discuss.

[sunshine nana]

To the parent hoping their son's friend's paraents say no. Say no to your own son about taking a friend. Problem solved and future problems solved.

[NLH Arizona]

It is ironic that the security team can't diffuse a chair hogging fight, but they can pluck your child out of bed in the middle of the night.

I know if it were my child that was missing, I would be appreciative that the security staff did everything (including talking with someone who was with her) to find her. Did the young lady tell the security staff which stateroom her parents were in? If not, possibly the security staff believed that the parent (who I'm assuming was registered in that room) was out and about on the ship and thus not accessible, if that was the case, then I have no problem with them taking the young lady to an office to question her, because after all a child was missing. If the young lady told them where her parents were and they did not contact the parents, then the security team was wrong and should relook at their policies.

[jdvmd]

Just curious, OP, when when and how were you notified? Was this the next day being told by your daughter?

[MCAT48]

I know if it were my child that was missing, I would be appreciative that the security staff did everything (including talking with someone who was with her) to find her.

 

I agree with you. A missing child on a ship in the middle of the ocean was probably more concerning to the ships officers. They took her to help find the missing girl - not to arrest her. ( at least that's the way I read it). She is old enough to be in a room on a ship but not old enough to assist in locating a missing teen?

[NLH Arizona]

I agree with you. A missing child on a ship in the middle of the ocean was probably more concerning to the ships officers. They took her to help find the missing girl - not to arrest her. ( at least that's the way I read it). She is old enough to be in a room on a ship but not old enough to assist in locating a missing teen?

I think this should prove the point, that no child is not old enough to stay in a room alone or with a sibling without a parent, because you never know what could happen. Maybe that is why some cruise lines have that rule.

[Nalagh]

The OP stated security was already aware of the location of both the child's cabin and the OP's cabin.

 

The adult security officer who represented an authority figure to the minor awoke her at 4:30 in the morning. She was most likely disoriented and simply did what security told her to do in the same way she would have responded to a teacher or any authority figure. I am sure my 14 yo would have done what he was told without even thinking that he should contact me because the officers represent authority.

 

I feel very strongly that they needed to knock on mom's door first and say, we need your daughter so come with us to get her please.

 

Cherie

[GUEST080219]

I feel very strongly that they needed to knock on mom's door first and say, we need your daughter so come with us to get her please.

 

Cherie

 

Not judging and _I_ tend to think similar but there was a thread on the HAL board about a parent missing the child in port and when running back to the ship to check if the child had gone back on his own was told to wait a second. The concensus was that this was inacceptable because every second can make a difference. When that is true the security did the right thing.

 

When a child is missing at 4:30am and her friend is alone without her parents it is hard for security to make a decision that all involved parties would agree on.

 

I would say just a very bad morning for all involved and not much NCL can do different without upsetting someone else.

[SissasMomE]

This needs to be addressed by corporate immediately.

I would have been furious if this happened to one of mine.

This is not a small matter and a policy change or review is in high order.

NCL , I know you read these , you had better get on this ..

 

MPK218 ( NCL cheerleader )

 

I completely agree. I also agree with publicizing this so it doesn't happen again. If it were my kid, I'd contact everyone and their mother. I'm really annoyed this happened, and it wasn't even my child!

[jdro]

Just curious, OP, when when and how were you notified? Was this the next day being told by your daughter?

 

Yes, the next morning from my daughter

[maggie cruises]

I see a lot of repeated responses here:

“They had no right….”

They didn’t follow protocol….”

Non-US security staff on a non-US ship in presumed non-US waters, how are ones rights being defined here? Who actually knows what the protocol or policies are here?

Although the actions of the staff may not be perceived to be handled to the ideals of the respondents, how can statements be made of violated rights and protocols?

Discuss.

 

and this is the exact reason I harp on not giving kids too much freedom on cruises and suggest that less is more in the friend making dept. at the kids/teen clubs! but no..I am condemned for not letting the kids grow up and learn when I post such things.

 

if she hadn't made friends with this total stranger..none of this would have happened.

[NLH Arizona]

Yes, the next morning from my daughter

Did your daughter ask them to call you when she was being questioned?

[maggie cruises]

Yes, the next morning from my daughter

 

furious is not the word!!! I am mortified at security..but then again I expect nothing from them.

 

as an aside...read her the riot act..go overboard so to speak..tell her of the dangers and get really upset with her over the fact that she let adult men take her away from her cabin and didn't tell you. that is very serious..that she didn't get you asap.

 

I know you are a good parent..and she a good kid...but so are mine and the only way to drill it into their heads sometimes is to describe the worst possible scenario to them.

[jdro]

I wish this would have stayed on topic rather than who has the better parenting skills, I am mad as hell that my child was taken from her room and believe me if it was any of you, you would be too. I had all the sympathy for the other family and would have gladly assisted in looking for her, but to put this on a child or me for having 2 rooms is ridiculous they should no better than to remove a child without parental consent.

[maggie cruises]

I completely agree. I also agree with publicizing this so it doesn't happen again. If it were my kid, I'd contact everyone and their mother. I'm really annoyed this happened, and it wasn't even my child!

 

publicizing it may help but it will also expose the child and her mistake. even with a "jane doe" scenario...her name will come out. but that may be the only way to change this nonsense.

[SissasMomE]

and this is the exact reason I harp on not giving kids too much freedom on cruises and suggest that less is more in the friend making dept. at the kids/teen clubs! but no..I am condemned for not letting the kids grow up and learn when I post such things.

 

if she hadn't made friends with this total stranger..none of this would have happened.

 

Can you drop it, please? We absolutely cannot put our kids in a box. That is just as dangerous as letting them wander aimlessly with no supervision. My daughter has been cruising since she was 7 and has made so many friends - most of which she still keeps in touch with. My husband and I have made many friends on cruises. We have very good friends that we made from our roll call for our 2010 sailing of the Epic, and have since booked 2 more cruises with that couple. Not everyone is out to harm you or your kids! :) Please don't misunderstand - they absolutely CAN'T run wild. Too many people think crime doesn't happen on ships, and it does .... but you kinda sound like your kids aren't allowed to make friends at all. If you didn't mean it that way, then I apologize. I've seen parents go in the opposite direction with the leash, and it always backfires.

[SissasMomE]

publicizing it may help but it will also expose the child and her mistake. even with a "jane doe" scenario...her name will come out. but that may be the only way to change this nonsense.

 

What mistake?! She's 14! The only one who made a mistake here is security, no?