Scheduling cruises around extra-curricular activities

[pafam4]

There have been many threads on here about the pros and cons of taking kids out of school for a cruise. This question is a little different. How do you handle scheduling cruises or vacations around your kids' extra-curricular activities, either school-based or community based, such as sports teams, musical endeavors, clubs? For those who don't take their kids out of school for vacations, do you plan your summer/school break vacations around the activities? For those who do take their kids out of school for vacations, do you also skip extra-curriculars as well?

 

If you do miss activities for a vacation, does the explanation to the coach, etc., that "family time is our priority" or "she can learn more on a cruise than she can in a week of ballet class (or soccer, or debate club)" go over well?

 

In our family, the kids haven't missed school for vacation since early grades (they are now in college and high school); however we have missed extra-curriculars for our vacations. Just wondering people's experiences and how coaches, etc. react if you do miss those activities.

[Cruisin' Chick]

I have seen people posting that they have booked a cruise and then the sports team (or whatever) that their kid is involved with just scheduled a mandatory practice/game that means their kid will be kicked out if missed. Just makes me wonder what is going through these coaches/teachers' heads. That there should be some allowances to allow kids to have an actual vacation with their families. I don't recall hearing any families having this kind of problem when I was growing up in the 60s. In fact, back then, a high school student can be involved with different activities and not have one particular one (not even a sport) totally dominate their time.

 

My daughter is in high school and it seems that there are some activities that are totally time-consuming. You have to pretty much select one activity. She's in marching band, and has practice Tuesday evenings, Thursdays after school and Saturday mornings (with competitions on several Saturdays and one on a school night). At least nothing was planned for winter break so last year we took a cruise without worrying about finding out at the last minute that we had a conflict. This year, it's more the matter of her being able to start taking the college entrance exams (she's going to miss one Saturday practice, but she'll probably not be the only Junior doing so). In the spring semester, concert band isn't that demanding of time (usually school night concerts maybe about five or so times total) so she'll have time for volunteering, etc. Other activities such as the academic team, drama plays, etc., usually mean doing that one activity exclusively too. I don't know about sports as she's not athletic so we don't play attention. But I'm guessing if you're on a sports team, you probably don't have the time to do other activities.

[Mom2B&Z]

We are in the middle of this right now :). Ds1 plays hockey, and it's pretty serious. Our hockey league takes official breaks over Christmas and March Break; however, that doesn't mean there won't be tournaments at those times. We tell the team at the beginning of the season of our travel plans and make it clear these plans are firm. Our son is a goalie, fortunately this year there are two goalies on the team, as it is a big problem for the goalie to miss a tournament :)

I try my best to eliminate conflicts between the extracurricular and travel schedules; however, it is not always 100% perfect. By March, my family needs some time together, and it doesn't really matter what we sacrifice to do it. Ds1 agrees with this position, so we go with it.

[cb at sea]

We were super-busy with activities...but sometimes, you just have to say, "Enough", and take a break. So...pick a time that works for you, tell the coaches and teachers, and stop worrying about it. This will not make or break their future...I guarantee it....but it will build family memories and closeness.

 

Kids do NOT have to be involved in stuff 24/7. So, yes....some things you skip. Family is worth it. It's good life-lesson.

[pafam4]

B&Z's Mom, that's what we do as well. We know that during the actual school sports season we would not go away because we don't travel during the school year. But in the summer all bets are off. We make our plans for vacation far in advance and tell the coach (AAU and/or summer league) that our plans are firm, like you do. It has not impacted my kids' participation in their activities.

[tammy531]

We are really finding that to be a problem. We have about a week in the summer between baseball and football and soccer (if the kids don't make all stars...then the two overlap). My husband and I both get vacation picks based on seniority, so that week is not always an option. Baseball is a bit more relaxed, so that is the one we choose to miss if forced to miss one. It has really changed our vacations, since I don't like our ocean temps (that are within 5 hours driving distance) until about early August. In the winter we have another week in between football and basketball...that is when we are cruising this year, and unfortunately taking them out of school. In the spring we have almost a month off of sports, but that is around when our state does their standardized testing. Crazy that we schedule around sports more so than school.

 

sent from my Samsung galaxy s3

[luvsviola]

For our cruise next week, my daughter will miss...

 

A week of school

2 violin private lessons

2 violin group lessons

2 bowling practices

3 karate classes

1 Girl Scout meeting

1 school field trip

 

DS will miss

A week of school

2 bowling practices

1 school field trip

 

I just don't care what the teachers/coaches have to say. I don't really give them an option to say anything, honestly. I tell them that we are going on a family vacation, it is already scheduled, and we will be gone these dates. And that is the end of the discussion. They are kids, not pro athletes and musicians. Any program that kicks a kid out for going on a family vacation once or twice a year is not a program that aligns with our family value system, and I would pull my kid from the program anyway.

[KatieCharlotte]

We've planned around the President's Day weekend tournament in DS's favorite sport, but otherwise we have no problem missing games and practices for travel and the coaches have never had an issue. If that changes in high school, we will do our best to accommodate but we're not going to sacrifice travel for sports. Baseball season runs through June and into July, prime summer vacation time.

[pafam4]

For our cruise next week, my daughter will miss...

 

A week of school

2 violin private lessons

2 violin group lessons

2 bowling practices

3 karate classes

1 Girl Scout meeting

1 school field trip

 

DS will miss

A week of school

2 bowling practices

1 school field trip

 

I just don't care what the teachers/coaches have to say. I don't really give them an option to say anything, honestly. I tell them that we are going on a family vacation, it is already scheduled, and we will be gone these dates. And that is the end of the discussion. They are kids, not pro athletes and musicians. Any program that kicks a kid out for going on a family vacation once or twice a year is not a program that aligns with our family value system, and I would pull my kid from the program anyway.

 

I so agree with this, at least where it comes to the extra curriculars. We also don't ask the coaches, etc., we just inform them of our plans. School for us is another issue. My kids have not wanted to miss school since that time we took them out in early grade school and we agree. Their school has a rigorous, fast-paced curriculum, and my kids don't want to miss the classroom time either. DS and DD, both high-performing students, feel that you can't "make up" what you would miss in the classroom time, at least that has been their observation in their school. So we vacation in the summer.

[mjkacmom]

This is the first year we've had an issue (before HS, we just miss stuff, no problem). Ds15 is a sophomore, but back up goalie on varsity soccer. He only plays if we are winning by a lot (he will be first string next year, when the senior goalie graduates). I booked our cruise 1 1/2 years in advance, during a week when they only have 2 days of soccer, after the official soccer season ends. Now the team will most likely play in a state tournament the week we are gone, and ds's coach wants him to miss the cruise.

 

We don't vacation a lot, because our kids are involved in so many activities, it's hard to find a week! I have 2 in HS, and won't pull them out of school for more than a couple of days. Dd17 is graduating HS this year. I really don't want ds to miss what might be one of our last family vacations, to sit the bench at a couple games. I think the JV goalie can sit in for him, even the freshman goalie.

[pafam4]

This is the first year we've had an issue (before HS, we just miss stuff, no problem). Ds15 is a sophomore, but back up goalie on varsity soccer. He only plays if we are winning by a lot (he will be first string next year, when the senior goalie graduates). I booked our cruise 1 1/2 years in advance, during a week when they only have 2 days of soccer, after the official soccer season ends. Now the team will most likely play in a state tournament the week we are gone, and ds's coach wants him to miss the cruise.

 

We don't vacation a lot, because our kids are involved in so many activities, it's hard to find a week! I have 2 in HS, and won't pull them out of school for more than a couple of days. Dd17 is graduating HS this year. I really don't want ds to miss what might be one of our last family vacations, to sit the bench at a couple games. I think the JV goalie can sit in for him, even the freshman goalie.

I think it takes a lot of nerve for the coach to expect him to miss a cruise. Especially when you took care when you booked the cruise to try to accommodate the schedule as you knew it. I think coaches sometimes become so focused on the sport, they lose perspective.

[6rugrats]

I think it takes a lot of nerve for the coach to expect him to miss a cruise. Especially when you took care when you booked the cruise to try to accommodate the schedule as you knew it. I think coaches sometimes become so focused on the sport, they lose perspective.

It isn't that the coaches don't have perspective; they just want you to honor the commitment you made when you agreed to become involved with the activity. You let the entire team/group down when you don't show up. It's a lesson in honoring your word, and having to make hard choices.

 

My DD is involved in an activity that requires us to sign a contract before the first practice, stating that we agree to attend all competitions, conventions, etc. We receive a list of when those will be, but of course, these dates are always subject to change.

 

We agree that if we miss a required practice or competition, DD will be dropped from the team and not eligible to compete next year.

 

It is difficult because if a team does well, they often go on to more advance competitions and you may not know those dates.

 

I've already changed one vacation this year and paid the change fees because of an additional date added to the competition schedule. You always have a choice. Don't make a team commitment if you aren't willing to honor it.

[Warm Breezes]

There have been many threads on here about the pros and cons of taking kids out of school for a cruise. This question is a little different. How do you handle scheduling cruises or vacations around your kids' extra-curricular activities, either school-based or community based, such as sports teams, musical endeavors, clubs? For those who don't take their kids out of school for vacations, do you plan your summer/school break vacations around the activities? For those who do take their kids out of school for vacations, do you also skip extra-curriculars as well?

 

If you do miss activities for a vacation, does the explanation to the coach, etc., that "family time is our priority" or "she can learn more on a cruise than she can in a week of ballet class (or soccer, or debate club)" go over well?

 

In our family, the kids haven't missed school for vacation since early grades (they are now in college and high school); however we have missed extra-curriculars for our vacations. Just wondering people's experiences and how coaches, etc. react if you do miss those activities.

 

I have a DD(16) who has been a competitive dancer since she was 7 and DS(19) who is now in college, but in middle school and high school played basketball and soccer for the school.

 

Dance is a year round sport. DD gets 2 weeks off for Christmas, Spring Break week off, a week off after Nationals (usually the week of the 4th of July), and a week off the week before Labor Day. Spring Break and 4th of July week never work for us to have off due to my work schedule. Christmas and Thanksgiving are iffy due again to my or DH's work schedules and the school schedule (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't), and DS starts college the week before Labor Day. In order for us to go on vacation, she normally has to miss some dance. I never schedule anything during the competition season (March - June). We have found, the last couple of years, that the 3rd week in July, right before tryouts and the the third week in August, during "mandatory" technique classes works the best for us, even though DH hates taking vacations when it is so hot out. I just tell the teachers that we will be on vacation and there is never a problem since she is always in class unless she has a choir concert or is sick and it is not interfering with competitions.

 

When DS was in 7th grade I scheduled a cruise over Thanksgiving that interfered with the basketball season. Even though I booked the cruise months before DS even made the team, he was "penalized" by being taken off the starting line up (a spot he had earned) for the first three games of the season for missing a couple of practices over Thanksgiving Break and a tournament on Black Friday (that wasn't even part of their normal schedule). This was our first experience with school sports. DS asked that we not schedule during basketball or soccer season so he wouldn't run into that again.

 

Trying to schedule vacations between 2 different work schedules, 2 different school schedules, a year round sport, and a couple seasonal sports is tough. Something always has to give usually a day or 2 at least. That give is never in DH and my work schedules so that means it has to give with school or sports. I try to minimize the impact on all, but sometimes, in order for us to have a vacation that is a priority for us, the sacrifice comes from missing a couple days of school or missing some sports practice/technique days (I stay away from competitions or games).

[pafam4]

It isn't that the coaches don't have perspective; they just want you to honor the commitment you made when you agreed to become involved with the activity. You let the entire team/group down when you don't show up. It's a lesson in honoring your word, and having to make hard choices.

 

My DD is involved in an activity that requires us to sign a contract before the first practice, stating that we agree to attend all competitions, conventions, etc. We receive a list of when those will be, but of course, these dates are always subject to change.

 

We agree that if we miss a required practice or competition, DD will be dropped from the team and not eligible to compete next year.

 

It is difficult because if a team does well, they often go on to more advance competitions and you may not know those dates.

 

I've already changed one vacation this year and paid the change fees because of an additional date added to the competition schedule. You always have a choice. Don't make a team commitment if you aren't willing to honor it.

Since we plan our vacations in advance, I am up front with the coaches/directors prior to the start of the season. Due to the limitations on some families' available vacation time and finances, paying change fees and rescheduling for multiple family members due to a child's sports schedule just isn't feasible. Of course every family's priorities are different. For our family, we would not get a vacation if some summer teams/activities were not missed. Since we are upfront with the AAU coaches prior to the season I feel we are honoring our commitment. This has never affected playing time etc. I think its important to find the right activities and teams where the administrators understand that kids do have a life outside of that sport.

[mjkacmom]

I've already changed one vacation this year and paid the change fees because of an additional date added to the competition schedule. You always have a choice. Don't make a team commitment if you aren't willing to honor it.

 

Well, our cruise is paid in full ($7000), and with five very active children, it's hard to find a week that works for everyone. Now, if he was starting goalie, he'd have to miss the cruise. The summer before freshman year, we booked a camping trip with friends in August (not knowing August is mandatory soccer practice). Ds missed that trip (which was our last family vacation).

[Cruisin' Chick]

I'm glad that we weren't planning anything over Thanksgiving weekend. Just found out yesterday that her band will be performing in a major parade (that will be televised all over the country). Just checked tickets for the stands and they start at $35/person:eek:. So I guess I'll be watching on the tube when it's shown here.

[Lerin]

Our child isn't to this age yet, but I have a feeling once he gets to high school and perhaps middle school, our vacationing as a family will end. :(

 

The thing with sports, band, drama, etc... is that it's not just my child, there are many children who could be affected by his absence.

Now if it turns out his interests are in solo activities or he ends up a bench warmer, then I wouldn't feel so bad about him missing things.

[jac1976]

It isn't that the coaches don't have perspective; they just want you to honor the commitment you made when you agreed to become involved with the activity. You let the entire team/group down when you don't show up. It's a lesson in honoring your word, and having to make hard choices.

 

My DD is involved in an activity that requires us to sign a contract before the first practice, stating that we agree to attend all competitions, conventions, etc. We receive a list of when those will be, but of course, these dates are always subject to change.

 

We agree that if we miss a required practice or competition, DD will be dropped from the team and not eligible to compete next year.

 

It is difficult because if a team does well, they often go on to more advance competitions and you may not know those dates.

 

I've already changed one vacation this year and paid the change fees because of an additional date added to the competition schedule. You always have a choice. Don't make a team commitment if you aren't willing to honor it.

 

This is us with our DD. She does competitive cheer, and at the start of the season, we agree to not take vacations during the competition season (Nov-May). For our family it is not that big of a deal to schedule vacations in the summer (as I am not willing to pull the kids from school.)

[Onessa]

In middle school and high school dealing with class schedules is the easy part. But a good school and school district will inject some realism into their extra curriculars and even class activities.

 

DD is involved in her school's marching band, which participates in major events (TOR, Sugar Bowl, Macy's parade, half-time at major sporting events, national patriot stuff). Band is a for-credit class -practices and participation are part of the parade. But the band director and the coaches agree, practices are practices, but games/events trump practice. The football players, soccer players, cross-country runners, tennis players, practice after school M-R. Marching band practices M at 6:30-8:30, W 6:30-8:30 and F after school. If there is a meet or a game that interferes with practice, the kids can make up practice without affecting their grade. If we have a parade or other event on Saturday am, if soccer has practice, the soccer players are expected to participate in the performance. Band plays at al home football games and a couple soccer/volleyball games every season. Band provides a brass quartet for the national anthem at the cross-country meet and the big tennis tournament. The sports boosters paid for four coach buses to bring the band to the state basket ball tournament (twice) last season. There is mutual respect. When some kids got a little out of control in the stands during one half-time performance a few years back, three senior football players stepped up to address the instigators before the next game and set them straight.

 

DD and two of her teammates were allowed out of the dress rehearsal for musical to participate in the final play down game for curling. The girls and the musical director worked it out before hand.

 

It's not like there are not still some hard-heads out there. It's not like there are not some issues that just cannot be worked out and kids are going to have to make some hard decisions. But if the kids and parents work with coaches and teachers, most everyone can co-exist.

 

DD is not going to be an actor, a musician, an Olympic runner, or a professional curler (they do exist in Canada) but these activities are important to her and have taught her important things. The past two years we've gotten in a late July vacation (after summer soccer season ends but before band camp) missing only a few summer sessions for AP classes and with promises to the cc coach that she would run on the ship!

[wahooker]

All 4 of my kids are heavily involved in Scouting, and I find that it is a much more forgiving activity for missing an event.

 

We as Scout Leaders encourage kids to be well rounded, and participate in Band, Sports, Church, and other activities. Our rule is that if you have to miss an event, let us know ahead of time, and we will welcome you back when the event is over.

 

Too many coaches (Even at the 3rd and 4th grade levels) take the approach of "My activity is so important, if you miss one of the 3 practices each week, you don't get to play in the game this Saturday."

 

That's insane to me.

[tammy531]

All 4 of my kids are heavily involved in Scouting, and I find that it is a much more forgiving activity for missing an event.

 

We as Scout Leaders encourage kids to be well rounded, and participate in Band, Sports, Church, and other activities. Our rule is that if you have to miss an event, let us know ahead of time, and we will welcome you back when the event is over.

 

Too many coaches (Even at the 3rd and 4th grade levels) take the approach of "My activity is so important, if you miss one of the 3 practices each week, you don't get to play in the game this Saturday."

 

That's insane to me.

 

My son missed 2 days of football practice to go to an asthma camp and he was not allowed to play in that weeks game!

 

sent from my Samsung galaxy s3

[trixiegal]

I've always scheduled our family vacations around my kid's activities. It never occurred to me I had a choice because my DD would've had a fit if she didn't honor her commitments. She was involved in competitive cheer for 8 years before becoming passionate about theatre in HS. The great thing about theatre is there are no additions to the schedule set well in advance, unlike some athletic teams. So we always know her rehearsal and performance schedule in the beginning of the school year. There are also theatre festivals and out-of-state performances to consider. I was able to find a cruise right after Thanksgiving and they will miss a few days of school but no important dates. I've gotten used to the traditional June-August vacation dates but don't like paying the premium for cruising so we normally would go on land-based vacations. Found a great last-minute cruise rate right after she finished a Shakespeare conservatory this past summer which has reignited my love of family cruising. DS does MMA and practices are flexible, as well as tournaments being rare at his age. Now he wants to run track in HS so I'm sure that will also affect things. I will be stalking the web for summer deals and watching schedules in order to make it work. I just see it as another aspect of parenting.

[Hurlymcgurly]

My kids are involved in so much I just don't know where they'll be when we plan out! If I know of something that may conflict, I work around it, but I will not be a slave to their activities when it comes to vacations. I normally know a good year out so if there is something coming that may conflict, like many, I will schedule around or discuss it before hand with the coaches and directors.

I have taken my kids out of school several times over the past for 3 days to a week. I always discuss this with the teachers well in advance and usually at least a good semester ahead. These school time ones have never been a problem as the teachers work with the kids to make sure they are caught up and have plenty of time to get things done before we leave so they aren't behind when they get back. Sometimes the school year is the only option for us due to the military. My husband just deployed out last April so we took our 2 younger boys on a cruise before he left as we couldn't do a vacation over the summer and I'm not going to deny my Hubby a good vacation with his family before he is sent to that hole in Afghanistan.

I've found that being military, the teachers, coaches and directors around here all seem to be very lenient as there are many military kids and they know what they are going through. If they weren't, I would be the first to go straight to the principal with the matter! Never piss off a military wife when it comes to family time!:D

[momto2js]

I try to plan around meets, but practices, there will be another one. I do pay the gym for the time he misses. Our coach is supportive of taking time away and family time. Gymnastics is an individual sport, so there isn't a team that is suffering. However, there is also no "off season". I will say that after 15 days onboard, his handstands were a lot better when we got back on solid ground:)

[Akitkat118]

My DD is involved in an activity that requires us to sign a contract before the first practice, stating that we agree to attend all competitions, conventions, etc. We receive a list of when those will be, but of course, these dates are always subject to change.

 

We agree that if we miss a required practice or competition, DD will be dropped from the team and not eligible to compete next year.

 

It is difficult because if a team does well, they often go on to more advance competitions and you may not know those dates.

 

I've already changed one vacation this year and paid the change fees because of an additional date added to the competition schedule. You always have a choice. Don't make a team commitment if you aren't willing to honor it.

 

I know, to each their own, but this just seems crazy to me. They are KIDS and having a contract like that seems to just be so much pressure on a child. There should be allowances for family time.

Just to play devil's advocate.. what if.. god forbid.. something horrible happened to a family member and the child needed to go to a funeral. That child would get dropped from the activity for not honoring the contract?

I know that is a far cry from a family vacation.. but to some families - time together is incredibly important. I just feel bad these kids have that kind of pressure on their shoulders and can't just enjoy an activity.

 

that is just my own thoughts. every family does what is best for them.