No-children travellers perspective of children on cruises???

[Paulette3028]

DD's got a first hand show of the little girl, her body language ( including crossed arms and a head with a no-no shake ). I think that the parents influence could be seen in the child, for sure. The fact that they missed a wonderful teaching moment spoke volumes to us.

 

Cute story that I have told on here before. Our DD's first cruise was the Carnival Destiny out of San Juan, PR. In line for the ship, while watching our little blondes in the pool and when finding our photos in the gallery it was very clear to myself and DH that we were very much the in the visible minority on this cruise. On day 5, while having dinner on the top floor with a view down to the main floor of the MDR, our oldest DD who was almost 12 said "did anyone else notice that most of the people on the ship have dark skin"? I said ya, honey we did. The conversation then ended with her two 9 and a half year old sisters not saying a thing. Wasn't a big deal, just an observation of something that she had never experienced before.

 

Great story, and you should be very proud parents; and your children should be proud of their parents; it was a two way street....one the other family, clearly doesn't understand.

[browneyedwoman]

I agree with ItsRCforme and Cruzincurt. My husband and I don't have kids and prefer a vacation with as few children as possible. I like the term that someone used "child free". When I was a child I had to show respect to elders. I wasn't allowed and didn't find a need to run around and yell and scream in public. I also find the loud cackling adult laughs to be annoying. I like to have fun but not be in your face about it.

 

On one of our Carnival cruises I was sitting at the edge of a pool with my elderly mother and there were small children doing repeated cannon balls into the pool who were getting her wet. We were there first and it was difficult to help her sit down at the edge of the pool so she couldn't just jump up to avoid them. They could have jumped into the other end of the pool the splash wouldn't haven't been as bad but they chose rather brazenely to jump in front of her. I was not pleased and looked around to see if a parent may be watching. I think a well intended man tried to say something to the kids but we were the ones who ended up moving.

 

Thank you to the original poster for being a good parent and actively trying to show your children good manners. On our vacations, when we see well behaved children we really appreciate it and I try to compliment the parents of them.

[Paulette3028]

I agree with ItsRCforme and Cruzincurt. My husband and I don't have kids and prefer a vacation with as few children as possible. I like the term that someone used "child free". When I was a child I had to show respect to elders. I wasn't allowed and didn't find a need to run around and yell and scream in public. I also find the loud cackling adult laughs to be annoying. I like to have fun but not be in your face about it.

 

On one of our Carnival cruises I was sitting at the edge of a pool with my elderly mother and there were small children doing repeated cannon balls into the pool who were getting her wet. We were there first and it was difficult to help her sit down at the edge of the pool so she couldn't just jump up to avoid them. They could have jumped into the other end of the pool the splash wouldn't haven't been as bad but they chose rather brazenely to jump in front of her. I was not pleased and looked around to see if a parent may be watching. I think a well intended man tried to say something to the kids but we were the ones who ended up moving.

 

Thank you to the original poster for being a good parent and actively trying to show your children good manners. On our vacations, when we see well behaved children we really appreciate it and I try to compliment the parents of them.

 

For some, adults only, cruises would be the best....and I imagine there are some cruises offered that way. It wouldn't be on my personal list of a way to travel...but I am sure for some.

[Sadie cruiser]

Great thread! I am a parent and cruise with our son now 16 and all these observations and opinions are well received. I am a nurse and just the fact that parents allow their younger children into a hot tub should be ashamed because of the germs in those. Handling of food at buffets without the parent there to assist is gross too. Running the halls is just plain dangerous. Hitting all the elevator buttons....well, kids will be kids. All of what has been said is because a lot of children are unsupervised on a cruise ship and it will be natural for them to test their limits if Mom and Dad aren't watching....hello? It is beyond me why parents choose that type of vacation to begin with if just putting kids in "childcare" so they can have their free time? I don't get it. Younger children want the freedom of a beach and swimming pools when it is hot outside not the confines of a ship with multigenerational people judging your child or parenting skills. I would say if your child does not behave well in a fine dining establishment don't be mad when they are embarrassing you in the cruise dining room and you need to leave. We (with kids) all have had to do that because of respect for those who are dining around us. Children are innately active and aren't "little adults". Not everyone is going to think your child is the cutest kid on earth. Use common sense. I now have the rewards of a teen boy who opens the doors for his elders, says grace at the dining table, has impeccable manners at the dining table and is compassionate to those in need. He still can't be allowed in the "adult" pool. Ha.Ha. Don't judge. Just choose a different type of vacation while they are young.:)

[Karysa]

For some, adults only, cruises would be the best....and I imagine there are some cruises offered that way. It wouldn't be on my personal list of a way to travel...but I am sure for some.

 

I agree with you. Cruises are better for us with kids even though ours pretty much are grown and on their own now.

Edited November 18, 2013 by Karysa

[alexspepa]

well this has been one of the most respectful threads ever...what a breath of fresh air!

 

Here's a story where I inadvertantly violated much of the advice given once:

 

Our kids are grown and we started taking them on cruises at an early age; on the first one our 8yo son decided at midnight he was hungry and went to the midnight buffet (remember those?). Only problem was Mom was sleeping and I was in the Casino; he decided it was like going to the kitchen back home i guess. I got back to the room and where is John?

 

A few anxious moments I can tell you - I found him at a table in the dining room with 8 senior citizens - he was telling a story and they were all listening intently. I rushed up and apologized and they all starting assuring me they were enjoying his company and that he was the most polite kid they had met.

 

I was proud and pissed at the same time...

 

and yes I know he should not have been there - 30 years ago - different time I guess.

 

I personally enjoy having children on our cruises...

Edited November 18, 2013 by alexspepa

[Paulette3028]

well this has been one of the most respectful threads ever...what a breath of fresh air!

 

Our kids are grown and we started taking them on cruises at an early age; on the first one our 8yo son decided at midnight he was hungry and went to the midnight buffet (remember those?). Only problem was Mom was sleeping and I was in the Casino; he decided it was like going to the kitchen back home i guess. I got back to the room and where is John?

 

A few anxious moments I can tell you - I found him at a table in the dining room with 8 senior citizens - he was telling a story and they were all listening intently. I rushed up and apologized and they all starting assuring me they were enjoying his company and that he was the most polite kid they had met.

 

I was proud and pissed at the same time...

 

and yes I know he should not have been there - 30 years ago - different time I guess.

 

I personally enjoy having children on our cruises...

 

It really is an adorable story....now move the calendar up 30 years and lets pretend it happened in 2013....someone might report you for 'endangering the welfare of a minor'. How times have changed, but the thought process of a small child, in incredible. Let's remember Art Linkletter for a moment....it was he that coined the phrase "Kids say the darndest things" and they do 'some of the cutest as well'.

[alexspepa]

It really is an adorable story....now move the calendar up 30 years and lets pretend it happened in 2013....someone might report you for 'endangering the welfare of a minor'. How times have changed, but the thought process of a small child, in incredible. Let's remember Art Linkletter for a moment....it was he that coined the phrase "Kids say the darndest things" and they do 'some of the cutest as well'.

 

yeah...I probably would have had to walk the plank if it happened today - or even worse I would have been the subject of a CC thread.:(

[JustCruiseMe]

I'm not worried at all... I just find much of the criticism about children and families offensive.

 

We are going to have a fabulous time on our vacation... I know how my children are, but I would never condemn another parent on their skills...

 

Live and let live...

The problem with this is that your "let live" might not enable me to live the way I want....I personally don't mind children unless the parents could care less that they are acting like heathens. I think you might be one of them...and yes I WILL say something to you and your children if they are over the top "living" so that I can't. Kids will be kids but direction from a parent is necessary.

 

I still remember the little boy who made his own ice cream cone and I can't for the life of me figure out how he kept it on the cone..it was 3 times as wide as the cone..halarious.

[Pebbles468]

The problem with this is that your "let live" might not enable me to live the way I want....I personally don't mind children unless the parents could care less that they are acting like heathens. I think you might be one of them...and yes I WILL say something to you and your children if they are over the top "living" so that I can't. Kids will be kids but direction from a parent is necessary.

 

I still remember the little boy who made his own ice cream cone and I can't for the life of me figure out how he kept it on the cone..it was 3 times as wide as the cone..halarious.

 

You have no clue how I parent, nor do you know how my children behave!!

 

Pretty rude to make that statement... Hopefully we won't encounter rude people like that on our upcoming cruise!

Edited November 30, 2013 by Pebbles468

[pris993]

We never cruise during the summer or holidays, only off season, so we seldom see more than a couple of kids, that is the way we like it. :D

[navybankerteacher]

Having raised four children myself, and now enjoying two seemingly mutually exclusive activities: being part of my eleven grandchildren's lives and travelling in peace and quiet. The world would be dead without children around - and children make noise -- I can live with it. The only really infuriating thing is when parents seem to make no effort to monitor their children. As an adult, I have no problem telling a child who is behaving badly with no parent around that they should knock it off. If more faults would make appropriate comments, situations would not get out of hand. And no parent has any right to be upset if another adult responsibly speaks to a child whom he or she has left unsupervised.

[Blk_Amish]

Forgive me if I missed this previously in this thread. My point is that parents must be fair to their children, and not put the kiddies in impossible situations. You need to be realistic about what your kids can endure before they go into meltdown because they are too tired, too hot, too bored, too confined, too hungry, or too overstimulated to cope.

 

You should not put your child into a situation where he/she is so tired, overwrought or over-challenged to enjoy it. Your own wishes, as a parent, must come after your child`s - that`s what being a parent means. If a two-hour formal dining room experience is going to drive your antsy-pantsy kid crazy, sorry, you must forego your preferred dining arrangement and eat in the Windjammer or order room service. If your kid is too tired and cranky to enjoy a show in the theater, then sorry, you must forego your own preference and read the kid a story, tuck him/her into bed, and read a book or watch a movie for your evening's entertainment. You are the grown-up now.

 

You must be fair to your kids. Don`t put them into situations where they can only fail and annoy other people. Yes, you can enjoy your cruise, but you can`t behave like you are 20 and unencumbered. You are a parent. You can't have everything you want, your way, all the time, anymore.

 

Anytime I see a red-faced hopelessly crying exhausted child, or a crazy little demon running amok, or a serial screamer shrieking frantically, I ask myself where is the parent? Did you think you purchased a vacation from being a parent?

 

There is no vacation from being a parent.

 

Perfect! Some vacations I would like to have but know my kids can't handle so I leave them with grandma or delay taking the trip. They know their 'vacation' is a privileged many like myself work a lifetime to enjoy. They need to respectful and mindful of that. I chose to do resorts not cruise when my kids were much younger. I wanted them to be able to appreciate the tradition of cruising such as sitting through formal dining. All family vacations, I find to be memorable but some anything but fun. The minute one steps out of line, I put down the overpriced, watered down drink and put them back in check. I lost it with my son on our last cruise. This lady came up and said, he is such a lovely boy. I said maam, I am doing this because I want to keep it that way. Multiple vacations each year and there is usually the VM- vacation meltdown/argument, sometimes it's DH. I am loving my solo trips:D I won't always take them along but I am glad for the times we did, memorable moments!

 

 

I guess my pet peeve is the whole attitude of this is the child's vacation. In reality only those with jobs need vacation. Mine children know they are tag-a-long, who can be left at home, so best behavior is a must. They know most things I need them to know about the world can be seen within a few hours drive from our house, the rest is extra. They have had some lovely extras, such as month in Europe, by the way, one claimed to be the worst moth of his life.

Edited November 30, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[elstyne]

We love to be with our family. My kids work very hard every day. They are not allowed to bring home pay cheque( too young) so they bring home great grades. (P.s that is how they will bring home a great pay cheque.) they are thank god very healthy and active . I would never ever ever have a vacation without my kid. I have always said kids behave like there parents. If kids don't show understanding and respect neither do their parents . I had a family to be a family. All the time. Not just when I feel like it

I do respect people who do not have kids . My daughter asked me when she was 3 why I had her. The answers was to help make the world a better place.

[Blk_Amish]

I am truly bless with kids (18 and 15) that have minds and personalities of their own, which greatly influence their behavior. Therefore it's my job to keep it in check. The have done things that let me whisper dear Lord, did I really give birth to that child. My daughter thought it was more important to pray with an homeless person than heed the warning of beware of strangers. I would have given a few bucks and walk away. They have had their moments as teenagers and still do , that once again let me whisper, dear Lord, did my child just said that to me. Parenting kids that are different from you can be a great challenge but joy as well and whispering dear Lord, a lot. Taking vacation without the kids (if you can) give you a chance to focus on the other important relationship in your life, your spouse. Sometimes the demands of the kids overshadows it. Preachers kids have been known to be hell on wheels/foot. There is a TV show' Preacher's Daughter along with Breaking Amish, no we aren't like our parents:D You do your best and pray about the rest.

 

The answer to why I had my kids will change depending on the day of the week it is and how much they are peeing me off. They know I would do it all over again:D Trisandmikkimom.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Blk_Amish

[jc24cruiser]

Wow, I didn't realise how many people were going to comment. I can't believe the range of the answers given!

 

Still taking on-board everyone's comments and suggestions and will adapt them to fit in with our family.

 

I have had a couple of things happen to us since I posted the original question that has made me see things differently....but both for different reasons.

 

a) My son has written a letter to Santa that says....

"Dear Santa and your elves,

Please can I have a bike helmet and some snow boots for Christmas.

And can I have some money to give to poor people that don't have any presents...etc"

This is followed from last year's letter that asked for some food to be sent to Africa.

 

BUT

 

b) We have been struggling with my son's behaviour due to the first 2 and a half years being VERY difficult for him which is still affecting him. It looks like he will be diagnosed with ADHD in the next few weeks (I don't need any comments about how ADHD was not around till recently and that it is down to the parents!)

 

Hoping that point a) out weighs point b) and that by next October everything will have settled down so that we can enjoy our first family cruise :D

[ducklite]

My son was diagnosed ADHD over 20 years ago, so I can empathize--and offer actual advice.

 

Bottom line, it would have been incredibly stressful to EVERYONE--including him--to put him into a situation where he had to be on best behavior all the time for a week or more at a time, and had no where appropriate to blow off steam. It would have been completely unfair, and we would never have put him into that sort of situation just to satisfy our personal wants.

 

If you want to go someplace warm in holiday, choose someplace like a family oriented resort where you can fly and be there in 3-5 hours. That time frame pushes the limits of a typical 2-4 year old, in Oder to be fair to an ADHD child you will need to plan in entertaining him quietly the entire time. You, the parent must be 120% engaged and prepared.

 

At that age a child has no concept of "vacation" and will be just as happy checking I to a hotel with an indoor pool for a weekend. When you become a parent, your focus must change from your wants and needs to those of your child. It is magnified when your child has any sort of special needs.

 

 

Autocorrect responsible for most typos...

[Blk_Amish]

C - you do the best you can and know that some parent with the perfect parenting handbook is going to look at your child, without knowing the struggles, and judge you for not being as prefect as they are. Some parents have experience the upside of A, downside of B, and at times C their way away from their kids to keep their sanity. My son claimed I used HIS college funds for MY vacations. I almost C my hand across if face but got back to, dear Lord was that my child. He is doing well in college on MY vacation dime and credit card. At no point do I recall being that ungrateful but my mother might have a different story.

 

 

My heart smiled at the letter to Santa, thanks for sharing and best of luck. D- do you best and I am sure you are doing.

[Pebbles468]

I don't have any experience with what you are going through....but I'm sure your vacation will be wonderful!

 

The opinions out here really do not matter in the end. Enjoy your family and enjoy your vacation.. Do what you think to be best for your children and family and do not worry about others! If they are complainers they will find something or someone to complain about anyway!

 

Best wishes to you and your family!

 

 

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[ducklite]

I don't have any experience with what you are going through....but I'm sure your vacation will be wonderful!

 

The opinions out here really do not matter in the end. Enjoy your family and enjoy your vacation.. Do what you think to be best for your children and family and do not worry about others! If they are complainers they will find something or someone to complain about anyway!

 

Best wishes to you and your family!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

 

Poor advice. People are going to stare, complain, and make comments which will only add to the stress level. Vacation is supposed to be about letting go of stress, and planning a vacation that will be incredibly stressful due to circumstances is not a wise idea. It's easy to say ignore them, but the reality is that when your child is having a meltdown or just being obnoxious, it's stressful. When it's happening in an area where he is really causing a disruption, it's really stressful. When people start to comment or complain, or worse yet you are approached by a crew member, the stress level goes through the roof.

 

Why put yourself, or your child into that sort of situation unless it is absolutely unavoidable? Until you have been in the situation of dealing with a special needs child, you have zero understanding of how stressful day-to-day life can be. Please consider that before offering advice.

 

 

Autocorrect responsible for most typos...

[Blk_Amish]

I don't have any experience with what you are going through....but I'm sure your vacation will be wonderful!

 

The opinions out here really do not matter in the end. Enjoy your family and enjoy your vacation.. Do what you think to be best for your children and family and do not worry about others! If they are complainers they will find something or someone to complain about anyway!

 

Best wishes to you and your family!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

 

I agree because each situation can be so different.

 

I have come across special needs kids who were 10 times better behaved than so called normal kids. A family vacation can the extension of some of our life not an escape from it. We go, we manage, we make due, and about all create different memories. Special needs is not the only thing that stresses a family out. As a bi-racial family , I have dealt with looks, stares, comments and judgement. What, should we stay home to avoid people with little tolerance for those who are different? I have a huge family and name the aliment, we have dealt with it. I am a survivor of 2 open heart surgeries, my DH survivor of cancer, cousin who is autistic, SIL with Downs and then the Amish thing. We are special alright!

 

OP- the ship is like a small cities. There will be many opportunities for you to manage and create wonderful memories. Traveling with a baby, toddler, or even a teen can be stressful.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Blk_Amish