9 year old alone on ship

[jlindemer]

Reading this story and watching the video at the bottom of this link is just a confirmation of my parenting choices.

 

http://m.nydailynews.com/1.1351027

 

Does this make you want to keep your kids out of the clubs altogether? I'm just asking. Please don't think I am trying to start something.

[grumplin]

My kids will soon be 18 and 21. They get free run of the ship. They have never given me a reason not to trust them. That being I still said under no circumstances will they go to anyone's room besides ours , theirs or bring anyone to theirs. I will have keys to their suite and they to ours.

 

It still makes me a bit nervous to be honest and these are grown kids.

Edited January 21, 2014 by grumplin

[chikkityRN]

Yah I bet! I bet when mine are grown I will worry too. Of course I can't keep them 100 percent safe and sheltered at all times. I am sure they will have a blast. I never went on cruises as a teenager or even really young adult. What a cool experience!

 

To answer the above question, believe me it takes a lot to be able to leave them in the youth programs but I know the providers are background checked and talk to my kids about being safe. My kids go to school and gymnastics and other activities. So of course I will let them go to the youth programs where they will remain in groups. We talk to them about safety and inappropriate behavior. We keep open lines of communication and I expect they should be safe and well cared for. I hope so! But at no time will they be permitted to walk around the ship sans parents. We can make every effort to keep kids safe and we live in a world where sometimes kids are hurt by the ones we should be able to trust. We can limit these opportunities by not being negligent.

[markntara]

My kids will soon be 18 and 21. They get free run of the ship. They have never given me a reason not to trust them. That being I still said under no circumstances will they go to anyone's room besides ours , theirs or bring anyone to theirs. I will have keys to their suite and they to ours.

 

It still makes me a bit nervous to be honest and these are grown kids.

 

My 18 and & 20 year old kids are at college. Living in a dorm ... co-ed! I have no idea what the heck they are doing. I think the boy put bleach in his colors last night ...

 

I'm like, get the hell on, stop calling me! ... me and momma been wait'n on some alone time for years now!:D

[Lovely169]

Lmao!!!

[happybooker1]

That's freaky about Jaycee Duggard. I'd have a really hard time not being paranoid.

 

With kids blocking stairways, a simple "Excuse me, please." Usually gets them jumping out of my way. With the little freaks hurting the seagulls, that goes beyond harmless kid mischief and I'd be hunting down their parents.

 

Birds lack the receptors mammals have that reacts to capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers & Tabasco hot. They were just enjoying a free meal of bread. Nothing else.

 

I used to have parrots whose favorite food was raw cayanne peppers.

[Gail & Marty sailing away]

9 year old alone on ship not a good idea ..

[Acklander]

I guess it's just a matter of your comfort level. We tend to lean towards the free range kid style of parenting, so yes - we allowed our son to sign himself out when he was old enough. The first year (age 9) it was so he could do the activities and when he finished dinner he would head out to the kids club while we finished up. The last cruise (almost 14) it included going to get himself a milkshake, going to the family comedy night with other 13/14 year olds, and heading to the lido deck with friends for ice cream and talk. We do have rules in place and he knows where to find us and we know where to find him.

Some parents, prefer to give their kids freedom a little earlier; some parents prefer to shelter a little longer - in the end most kids make it to adulthood as a contributing member of society just fine.

[gerif]

Birds lack the receptors mammals have that reacts to capsaicin, the chemical that makes peppers & Tabasco hot. They were just enjoying a free meal of bread. Nothing else.

 

I used to have parrots whose favorite food was raw cayanne peppers.

 

Actual damage and intent to do damage to a living creature are decidedly two different things. These kids should never be unsupervised and seem like they're headed for big trouble in the future. Of course, they likely have parents who would say "not my kid" or "no harm done" - yup.

[Onessa]

9YO may be a bit young to have full run of the ship (or shop alone in the mall, or whatever). HOWEVER 9YO might be an OK age to allow her to go with a friend to get ice cream in the buffet when you are poolside.

 

By 12YO my DD was allowed a great deal of independence on our Splendour of the Seas vacation -- but she had rules that she knew she had to follow (always in groups of three or more friends, I had to know the friends and meet their parents, etc.).

 

She's 18 now -- over the years we have slowly worked to pretty much full independence. But in the same way that if I'm going to be out of the house until 9:30 at a meeting, I'll let her know -- she is expected to let me know where she is going to be (Wednesday is school, followed by curling practice, and tonight they have a pep band performance back at school).

 

Point is, if you don't work with your child to teach them how to be independent, you will have a problem. An 18YO who does not know how to be "safe" is an 18YO who could more easily become a victim. Know your kid, judge what you feel he/she is ready for, prepare them and then look for situations where you can let them practice.

[spunkyhungry]

When I was 11 my mom started letting me go places with a friend and no adults. She knew exactly where I was going and how I was getting transported (ex. she drove us, we took a trolley, etc). Depending on the kid and his/her maturity, sense of responsibility, and sense of safety I could be ok with letting an 11 year old or older go around the ship with a peer or similar aged sibling. I think 9 is too young, though.

[kitty9]

What do you all think of this? Letting a 6 year old walk all over alone on the Breakaway. Would any of you give your 6 year old a key card and let him go to places on the ship without you? Would you let your 6 year old go back to your cabin without you? i don't know about you, but my God Daughter, Katherine, would NEVER be allowed to go back to our cabin and be there alone. Call me protective, but I honestly don't think she would be able to find her way on a huge ship.

 

This is from a review on CC.

 

1. Splash Academy was not very fun for my son, he found the themes boring, including Hollywood at Sea and Spy Night, but somewhat enjoyed the Tribes at Sea (Survivor) theme on Tuesday. I put him in only when I was in need of going to the gym to work out, or to see Rock of Ages during the first three nights. The rest of the week, he played miniature golf on Deck 17 or chess on the oversized board on The Waterfront. He made friends with other children everywhere he went, and bumped into a classmate from Maryland the second day, and would play with him. I gave him a key card and he was able to go back to our state room whenever he got bored with golf or chess, so I could do some of the adult seminars and other cool activities that would bore him.

Edited February 5, 2014 by kitty9

[funNJfamily]

What do you all think of this? Letting a 6 year old walk all over alone on the Breakaway. Would any of you give your 6 year old a key card and let him go to places on the ship without you? Would you let your 6 year old go back to your cabin without you? i don't know about you, but my God Daughter, Katherine, would NEVER be allowed to go back to our cabin and be there alone. Call me protective, but I honestly don't think she would be able to find her way on a huge ship.

 

This is from a review on CC.

 

1. Splash Academy was not very fun for my son, he found the themes boring, including Hollywood at Sea and Spy Night, but somewhat enjoyed the Tribes at Sea (Survivor) theme on Tuesday. I put him in only when I was in need of going to the gym to work out, or to see Rock of Ages during the first three nights. The rest of the week, he played miniature golf on Deck 17 or chess on the oversized board on The Waterfront. He made friends with other children everywhere he went, and bumped into a classmate from Maryland the second day, and would play with him. I gave him a key card and he was able to go back to our state room whenever he got bored with golf or chess, so I could do some of the adult seminars and other cool activities that would bore him.

 

I read the same thing. Probably from the same thread you did. I cant stop thinking about who in their right mind would give a 6yo a room key or leave them alone! We live in a strange world.

[luvmyboyz]

I'm not normally one to judge another parent for their beliefs when they differ from my own. Believe me, I am FAR from being a perfect parent myself!!

 

That said, I do think that 9 is too young to be allowed to roam free on a cruise ship. There are just too many bad possibilities, and kids that age are rarely responsible enough to ALWAYS make the right decision. I will admit that I am crazy paranoid, but 9 just seems a little too young. My oldest son is 8 and a half, and I can't imagine letting him roam free on a cruise ship six months from now, or even a year or two from now. I will allow him some independence - he can get his own food from the buffet , and I've started to allow him to use public restrooms on his own (if my husband is not with us), and I let him ride theme park rides alone, among other things. But allowing him to sign out of the kids club and wander the ship just seems a bit too risky at this age. I agree that some kids mature faster than others and someone else's child may be far more responsible than mine, but at that age they are still so small. An adult could overpower them so quickly. I know that the chances of a predator being on the ship are very slim, and again, I admit that I am paranoid, but I would rather have my child be annoyed with my overprotective nature than be in a coffin. We teach our children to be independent in many ways, and I really don't think preventing them from wandering a cruise ship alone will hinder their ability to learn independence.

 

I usually will refrain from trying to impose my beliefs on others, but in this case, if it was my friend and her child, I would probably try to persuade her to reconsider (knowing that she'd probably tell me to mind my own business!!)

[Onessa]

What do you all think of this? Letting a 6 year old walk all over alone on the Breakaway. Would any of you give your 6 year old a key card and let him go to places on the ship without you? Would you let your 6 year old go back to your cabin without you? i don't know about you, but my God Daughter, Katherine, would NEVER be allowed to go back to our cabin and be there alone. Call me protective, but I honestly don't think she would be able to find her way on a huge ship.

 

This is from a review on CC.

 

1. Splash Academy was not very fun for my son, he found the themes boring, including Hollywood at Sea and Spy Night, but somewhat enjoyed the Tribes at Sea (Survivor) theme on Tuesday. I put him in only when I was in need of going to the gym to work out, or to see Rock of Ages during the first three nights. The rest of the week, he played miniature golf on Deck 17 or chess on the oversized board on The Waterfront. He made friends with other children everywhere he went, and bumped into a classmate from Maryland the second day, and would play with him. I gave him a key card and he was able to go back to our state room whenever he got bored with golf or chess, so I could do some of the adult seminars and other cool activities that would bore him.

Most 6YO would not be comfortable with that :)

 

I think that some parents set up an "expectation" that since their child is so advanced, that the kid's club activities are not enough for him/her. The kids pick up on this. I'm always amazed that so many people want their kids childhoods to be gone so quickly!

[Warm Breezes]

Most 6YO would not be comfortable with that :)

 

I think that some parents set up an "expectation" that since their child is so advanced, that the kid's club activities are not enough for him/her. The kids pick up on this. I'm always amazed that so many people want their kids childhoods to be gone so quickly!

 

While I don't agree with letting a 6 YO go out on there own, I have to say that I can absolutely see a child being bored and not liking the kids clubs. Neither of my kids liked them and I was encouraging them to try them hoping it would add to their cruise experience....they did find them boring and not fun so they stayed and did things with us until they were old enough to go off on their own. I let them go off together when DS was 12 and DD was 9 and I let them both go off on their own at 13...with rules about all of us knowing where each other was at. To be honest though they rarely went off on their own, unless it was to get food or go back to the cabin for something. They would go off together to play mini-golf or ping pong, but rarely for anything else. Most of the time they just wanted to hang out with us.

[Lovely169]

This is crazy!!!

Feds: Cruise worker raped, tried to throw passenger overboard

http://my.chicagotribune.com/#section/545/article/p2p-79355541/

Edited February 19, 2014 by Lovely169

[notentirelynormal]

This is crazy!!!

Feds: Cruise worker raped, tried to throw passenger overboard

http://my.chicagotribune.com/#section/545/article/p2p-79355541/

 

 

WOW - and I do mean wow! A very sick individual.

[blitznbobs]

Sounds mentally ill to me - how many people refer to people as 'son of a b*tch' screams of psychotic paranoia...

 

Poor poor woman tho. my thoughts are with her and I hope she recovers well.

[katree]

The crime rate is nearly at a 40 year low. Don't let the media frenzy influence your decisions.

 

 

Thank you! I was hoping to see this point made in the first couple of pages. Things are different today. It's safer.

 

 

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[CruiseGirlKS]

Yikes!

[dsrdsrdsr]

I'm not normally one to judge another parent for their beliefs when they differ from my own. Believe me, I am FAR from being a perfect parent myself!!

 

That said, I do think that 9 is too young to be allowed to roam free on a cruise ship. There are just too many bad possibilities, and kids that age are rarely responsible enough to ALWAYS make the right decision.

Children throughout the ages have always been allowed freedom at age 9. It's only in recent years, with the advent of prosperity, that society as a whole tends to feel it's too young.

 

I agree, 9 year olds will not always make the correct decisions. Nobody will always make correct decisions - if the child is babied till age 18, he won't make correct decisions when he gets to college. As soon as you allow a child to make decisions, he will make wrong ones, because nobody's born knowing everything.

[AlaskaAtLast]

I can't be there to hold their hand every day. Kids have to learn to be independent. They were not allowed to roam willy-nilly around the ship either. The rule is when you leave kids club go directly to the cabin. Check for the note about where the grown ups are and then come meet us. They did this because they are responsible kids.

 

I am not going to argue about my ability to parent. You raise your kids how you see fit and I will do the same.

 

Agreed. We didn't allow sign out privileges but we allowed our 8 and 10 year old kids limited times and places they could go on the ship without us. They knew to go back to the cabin and check for a note from us and leave us a note if they were going to be anywhere other than the originally agreed upon location. They respected our limits and got to enjoy more privileges.

 

Personally, I think you need to allow children a bit of independence (within pre-set limits) so they learn to think for themselves and learn to take care of themselves as well. I've seen way too many kids go completely hog wild when they get to college because their parents hovered over them constantly growing up and they never got a chance to learn that with freedom comes responsibilities.

[rgmacm]

In reading through a number of these comments (I didn't read all 3 pages) it seems that many are saying "MY child is old enough". The issue, as I see it, is not whether the child is old enough.....it's whether you trust everyone else on that ship to be 'nice'.

 

Surely...most of them are. They're people just like you or I and they would NEVER hurt or harm a child. However, with 3000+ passengers on a ship, what are the chances that at least ONE OF THEM is a child predator. DO you know how many cabins with closed and locked doors there are on a ship??? Anyone of them could harbor a crime scene ...and crime against a child.

 

The first time we cruised we told our SEVENTEEN year old daughter that she was not allowed to go anyplace on that ship alone. She was to either be accompanied by her father or I....or her SIXTEEN year old brother. Yes...her younger brother. I should mention that he WAS much bigger than she!! :) :)

 

Why?? It wasn't about age or maturity.... She was quite mature and trustworthy. We have never had an ounce of problem out of her. It was about the fact that this was our beautiful 17 yr old daughter...Did I say BEAUTIFUL? Yes! haha We also sat our son down and talked to him about our expectations of him as far as protecting her....If she went to the ladies room, we wanted him standing outside nearby waiting for her. If she wanted an ice cream cone, we expected him to accompany her to get one. (They were to discuss these things and compromise so that she did not 'abuse' her brother's kindness...) We completely trusted that her brother would do anything he had to do to protect her!!! We did NOT fully trust that she would be ABLE to ward off an attack.

it had nothing to do with the person she was...it had to do with the fact that she was a beautiful 17 year old girl...and girls are more likely to be raped or assaulted than boys....

Perhaps I live in fear...but we came home with our daughter safe....so we didn't make such a bad decision afterall. We don't regret doing it and hope our grandchildren are raised the same way. :)

Edited February 22, 2014 by rgmacm

[mjmalino]

On our first cruise our kids were 8 and 9. On this cruise we did not grant our kids any sign in or out privileges. The following year, after much debate, we allowed them to sign themselves in but not out. This was mainly to keep the kids from chomping at the bit during dinner when they were ready to hit the kids program and we were still socializing at dinner. Th following year (ages 10 and 11) we granted them permission to sign themselves both in and out with couple rules: they had to both leave the kids program TOGETHER and if at any time they left the kids program they were to return to the cabin. If we were not be there they were required to remain their until my husband or I returned. After that there would were a couple times that we allowed the to go to the buffet with friends (after meeting them and getting cabin numbers) for lunch, but again, from there they were only allowed in the cabin or the kids program.

 

 

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