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Friend needs help convincing husband

lspringman

By lspringman,
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lspringman

lspringman

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My husband, daughter and I are going on the Triumph during spring break. We have some good friends who we've traveled with in the past.

We've tried to get them to come on the cruise with us...my friend is on board, but her husband is not. He says he's "over cruising"

 

She's going to try and convince him....I told her to make it all about the kids rather than them.

 

Any ideas of what she (or the kids) could say to help convince him??

 

We need some good ideas :) I even suggested the kids doing a power point and presenting it to him (like that one commercial)...which she said he would love! :)

 

Help!!

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CruisinCrow Great Review Rare

CruisinCrow

Posted
Posted

I think I agree with The4Cruisers. The last time I tried to convince my husband to go on a vacation he didn't want, he didn't enjoy it and therefore, neither did I. I won't do that again.

 

Maybe the husband might do it for the kids though. Good luck.

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lspringman

lspringman

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Thanks for your input everyone. He's not over cruising because he hates it...he just wants to do more resort type vacations. He enjoys them, so he would still have fun. But, for the family of 4 a cruise is much more affordable. Especially since we all could drive to the port.

 

Nobody is trying to force him to do something he would hate :)

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TravelE

TravelE

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My husband would be convinced if I showed him a cost comparison. Put together a table detailing costs of resort vacation (airfare, lodging, food, drinks, activities, transfers, airport parking) versus the cruise (include all cruise costs too). Hopefully the cruise is less expensive and she can show him some cool extras that he can do on the cruise. Steakhouse, special excursion, etc.

 

Good luck!

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TheCalicoCat

TheCalicoCat

Posted
Posted (edited)
Well they can do what I did with our spring break cruise. DH didn't want to go so he is staying home and I am taking the kids without him. Honestly for me it is a lot less stressful if I don't try to make him go when he rather stay back.

 

This idea gets my vote... When presented with this option, my husband would join us.

Edited by TheCalicoCat
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lspringman

lspringman

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My husband would be convinced if I showed him a cost comparison. Put together a table detailing costs of resort vacation (airfare, lodging, food, drinks, activities, transfers, airport parking) versus the cruise (include all cruise costs too). Hopefully the cruise is less expensive and she can show him some cool extras that he can do on the cruise. Steakhouse, special excursion, etc.

 

Good luck!

 

That's EXACTLY what she said she was going to do as well :) She's going to look up some other more "local" vacations and be ready to show them to him as well.

 

He's a teacher and has the kids write small book reports each week, so she said rather than the presentation she mentioned she may have them write a simply essay/report on why they should take the vacation. :)

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Ontario_Cruiser

Ontario_Cruiser

Posted
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For me, it is important that the fun things in life are shared with my wife. I can not imagine going on a cruise without her. If she were saying that she did not want to go, then I would work on getting her enthusiastic agreement. While this may delay the trip, in the end it is worth it to me.

 

Maybe the OP needs to compromise - and take a cruise every other year with a resort in the off years. Maybe purchasing the Cheers program would do it. Maybe a shorter cruise combined with time on shore would work. Be creative, and see what works. Since I do not know the people involved, it is hard to say for sure.

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T. Advisor King

T. Advisor King

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I agree that it would be a mistake to convince him. At best, all the friend is really doing is grinding him down to a point where he just gives in because it is easier than fighting. She hasn't actually convinced him that it is a good idea, she's just got him to pass the point where you can all book because "he agreed". Now he's not looking forward to it and not enjoying it when it happens.

 

The telling point of the post was when the OP said he is "over cruising". This doesn't sound like someone who needs a nudge to try something new. This sounds like someone who has been there, done it and it isn't for him.

 

So if anything, I would suggest that the friend simply "ask" him to go do something she knows he doesn't want to do rather than trying to "convince" him. I wouldn't go too far down the "do it for the kids" routine. The only point of that seems to be to try to use guilt (i.e., implicitly the tactic is saying that he's selfish for wanting to go on a vacation that he wants rather than a vacation that the OP's friend wants).

 

But if the friend does go that route, I suggest making it part of a deal. We'll go on the spring break cruise that we want and in the summer we'll go on the [fill in the blank] vacation that you want. Of course, that only works if he has something he really wants to do that everyone else would hate. And make sure the kids are willing to buy into that. Say dad is a NASCAR fan or a fisherman or a baseball fan and the wife and kids aren't. Are they really willing to enthusiastically go on that kind of vacation in the summer in exchange for dad coming on this spring break cruise? In my experience, only the most mature kids will make that kind of deal and stick to it.

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sjn911

sjn911

Posted
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I think that Travel Advisor and Just Cruise..have the cold hard truth down...

 

I wish it could be like Ontario Cruiser.

 

My mom passed before we could finally do it and I waited too long to just do it without dad..I was 52..she was 76 when she passed 8/2/12. They had just gotten off of a Disney Alaska Cruise with youngest grandaughter when she had started to fail....

 

That reason and all the publicity of Noro and the recent ship failures have really turned my family off of it..I always wanted to go with whole family too..but sometimes you just can't beat a stubborn cowboy, his tough daughters, and differing opinions...

I hope you are not offended with this thought but....

Be glad you have a group that wants to go..if you have a set of friends like Ontario cruiser and can joke and compromise and he can truly get excited with the kids and a "his choice later" and be enough behind it without the guilt trip..go for it..if not..you guys just go..and if anyone out there is like me..don't let it bring you down about still going alone,,you will either like it or find your group...Sarah

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D4

D4

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Maybe he doesn't want to cruise with another family but doesn't want to come out and say that. Some families/friends cruising together have different expectations about how much they'll do together. Some want to be joined at the hip (excursions, most meals, etc.) and others would prefer to just see the other group at dinner.

 

If that family hasn't planned a Spring break trip yet, it doesn't seem like it's a priority for them.

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LrgPizza

LrgPizza

Posted
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I was thinking the same thing as the previous poster. Maybe he (they?) just want to go by themselves somewhere and don't know how to tell you? Who knows. Either way, if I were you, I would stay out of it. I assume you will have plenty of fun with your own family.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums mobile app

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Sherlock43031

Sherlock43031

Posted
Posted
My husband, daughter and I are going on the Triumph during spring break. We have some good friends who we've traveled with in the past.

We've tried to get them to come on the cruise with us...my friend is on board, but her husband is not. He says he's "over cruising"

 

She's going to try and convince him....I told her to make it all about the kids rather than them.

 

Any ideas of what she (or the kids) could say to help convince him??

 

We need some good ideas :) I even suggested the kids doing a power point and presenting it to him (like that one commercial)...which she said he would love! :)

 

Help!!

 

 

she could say.. have fun while we are gone

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2specialkidsforme

2specialkidsforme

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Posted
Maybe he doesn't want to cruise with another family but doesn't want to come out and say that. Some families/friends cruising together have different expectations about how much they'll do together. Some want to be joined at the hip (excursions, most meals, etc.) and others would prefer to just see the other group at dinner.

 

If that family hasn't planned a Spring break trip yet, it doesn't seem like it's a priority for them.

 

 

I was thinking the same thing. As much fun as you might all have together - maybe he wants to go with his family and enjoy them. He might not want to feel obligated to always hang out, be chatting, etc. each person wants different things on a trip - sounds like he is trying to say that in a round about way. JMHO.

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donaldsc

donaldsc

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Posted (edited)
Thanks for your input everyone. He's not over cruising because he hates it...he just wants to do more resort type vacations. He enjoys them, so he would still have fun. But, for the family of 4 a cruise is much more affordable. Especially since we all could drive to the port.

 

Nobody is trying to force him to do something he would hate :)

 

I totally agree with him and you should leave him alone. If his wife wants to cruise so badly, let her go by herself.

 

I would like to remind you people who do nothing but cruising that there are lots of things to do in this world besides cruising - some of which are a lot more interesting that cruising.

 

I take cruises for the places that ships go to, not for the experience of being on a ship. When I run out of affordable interesting ship itineraries, I will do only minimal cruising and switch to mainly land trips. There are lots of places that I would like to cruise to but at 15,000 plus per person per cruise, there are not a lot of these cruises that I can take.

 

With regard to the family togetherness issue and the claim that cruising is less expensive than a land vacation, we rent a house at an interesting place every summer for a week. This summer 14 of us are staying in Boothbay Harbor Maine for a week in August. The total cost for the 14 of us for lodging will be $4500. Obviously we will have to pay for food but how much would a cruise for 14 people cost? A bit more than $4500. We will even get to eat real lobster instead of the cruise ship frozen pseudo-lobster.

 

One poster made this suggestion - "Put together a table detailing costs of resort vacation (airfare, lodging, food, drinks, activities, transfers, airport parking) versus the cruise (include all cruise costs too).". I should point out that in the list of resort vacation costs versus cruise costs, several of the item in the list will be the same (airfare, drinks, activities, parking) so these items get dropped out of the equation. Also, it is entirely possible that there are excellent resort destinations close to home that you may be able to drive 4 in a car to instead of having to fly to your cruise port so these may also drop out. I would not try this approach as it may backfire.

 

DON

Edited by donaldsc
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