Cruising in three weeks and grandson's father now refuses to sign permission slip!!

[Zoey]

One of the highlights of the rest of my workaday, boring like is first planning and booking a cruise and THEN all the pre-cruise planning. Sad, huh?

 

Well after contemplating for a few months about booking Oasis or Allure, I finally booked Allure for June 1. First I booked solo as I usually do but when I mentioned it to my 15 year old grandson and showed him the ship online he asked if he might go. We have a very close relationship as I half raised him the first few years of his life. So I discussed the possibility with my daughter.

 

Well......His mother, my daughter, was not married to his father but the father is on the birth certificate (his travel documentation). My daughter says now of course, that that was a BIG mistake. He doesn't pay child support and only tries to see the child every couple of years. Understandably, the boy doesn't want a lot to do with him now. I have told my daughter to see an attorney BUT she still, after 35 years, doesn't LISTEN TO ME!! I don't only side with my daughter in the matter as I know she can be difficult to get along with - so I stay OUT of that situation.

 

Anyway, she tracked the father down through some type of social media and he said he WOULD sign and would provide my daughter with an address to send the form. When she called him the other day he's now pulling a Dr. Jekyl/Mr. Hyde, and now says he will NOT sign the form. No real reason...just no. She told him how selfish it was but he still says no.

 

I'm going to see my grandson Saturday and I guess I'll just tell him I can't get a permission slip signed by his father (without any negative comments - which I would never subject him to).

 

I JUST CAN'T DECIDE....if he can't go, should I just forfeit the entire cruise, losing $2,500 or should I go alone? I've cruised alone many times but it might feel weird having to leave him behind. If I canceled for this reason would I get any kind of refund, at least the port fees & taxes?

 

What would you do?

 

I KNOW there's nothing any of you can do or even probably suggest BUT I'm sitting here in the office at 7:15, alone and feeling sorry for myself, and I guess looking for a little encouragement.

 

Thanks for listening!!

[LovesCruising]

My heart breaks for you and your grandson. I am sorry I don't have a suggestion for you. Maybe the father will change his mind. Hoping for you.

[Lynn the Cruiser]

This is so sad. I think you should try talking to your daughter again. Maybe offer to pay for the legal fees, after all, that will be cheaper than losing $2500. The cruise would be a great opportunity for your grandson.

[LizC]

My heart breaks for you and your grandson. I am sorry I don't have a suggestion for you. Maybe the father will change his mind. Hoping for you.

 

Offer the sperm donor $100 to sign the form! Maybe he will!

:mad:

[33tekfan]

This is so sad. I think you should try talking to your daughter again. Maybe offer to pay for the legal fees, after all, that will be cheaper than losing $2500. The cruise would be a great opportunity for your grandson.

 

That won't help her at this point, she cruises in three weeks.

[cruisinfanatic]

I don't think it's a problem. No absolute guarantee, buts long as your daughter signs the permission, that's probably fine. They may not even ask for it.

[gerif]

Your daughter needs a court order granting her sole custody - should have had one years ago. Call a lawyer today.

[setsail]

I think your own advice is the best answer in this case, sad for the gs

 

"so I stay OUT of that situation."

 

 

Take the cruise solo

Edited May 9, 2014 by setsail

[S.A.M.J.R.]

I don't think it's a problem. No absolute guarantee, buts long as your daughter signs the permission, that's probably fine. They may not even ask for it.

Would you take that chance though? What happens if the OP and grandson get to checkin and they ARE asked for the father's signature?

[Kroozen]

You could always forge his signature....No one would be the wiser.

[bucks724]

I could be wrong, but if she had to track him down through some type of social media to even contact him, he's an absentee father. And it also would seem, at that point, that a notarized letter/statement from the mom stating that she is the custodial parent and doesn't know where the father lives would suffice. Contact RC and explain that to them and see if you can get by with just her letter and the grandson's passport. Don't give up just yet.

 

I was able to get my DD a passport by stating that her father wasn't in the picture - and I know where he lives - we just don't speak.

[Mac303]

I would have your daughter write a statement that she is the sole caretaker of (son) and attest that the birth father is not a part of the boys life and she is granting the boys maternal grandmother permission to travel on a cruise.

 

Have the form witnessed and notarized. I would guess that if the son was questioned as to the relationship by an agent at the pier, the 15 yr old would tell it like it is.

[Zoey]

Thanks for the quick responses and the sympathy and encouragement.

 

Partly my own fault I guess for booking such a semi-last minute cruise. I spent too much time researching. :D

 

The family court around here is SO backed up, I couldn't get the father found, served and a hearing date for several weeks or months.

 

Funny....in response to the suggestion to offer $100 to the 'sperm donor," I did tell my daughter to do that (and $100) and she said "He never pays us anything...don't you dare offer that A H any money!!" HaHa. I told her that was better than losing the whole cruise and would show if he was easily bribed.

[Cliftoncruz]

Our daughter was in a similar situation. I would suggest your daughter contacts Royal, and the airlines if you are traveling to port by air. Explain the situation to them and see what their requirements are. After making those calls, immediately contact a lawyer who specializes in family law.

 

Good Luck!

[ryano]

 

What would you do?

 

 

If you absolutely cannot get the note signed, I would go solo. There is NO WAY I would just give up 2500.00. That is still a lot of money to me.

 

The "father" is just being a vindictive jerk. Maybe he will come around. If he doesnt, I would go solo

[Zoey]

Oh...I meant to add in my last post that I'm hesitant to call Royal and talk to them because I'm afraid they might 'tag' my reservation about the issue and question me more when I check in. Of course that would only matter if I was going to try and get on without the father's signature, which I kind of doubt I should try.

[nbsjcruiser]

Is it possible that your daughter could go as well? Instead of losing $2500 maybe spend a few extra hundred and invite Mom along too. That way her son may be able to go.

Edited May 9, 2014 by nbsjcruiser

[idamae3218]

I'm sorry. That stinks. I'm not a lawyer, but I've done this three times, bringing my two sons friends on different cruise with us. Two on Royal, last one on NCL. NCL required a form signed by both parents, that's a pain. Couldn't get dad to cooperate, so mom came. No issue. However, Royal only required a notorized letter from the primary parent. One time it was a married couple, but the other time was a single mom. No issue boarding. See their website link below. I think you'll be fine with a notorized letter from his mom.

http://www.royalcaribbean.com/customersupport/faq/details.do?pagename=frequently_asked_questions&faqId=2702&faqSubjectId=322

 

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[Cliftoncruz]

If you have a concern about contacting Royal, don't give them the reservation number. All you need to do is ask CSR what their policy is in this situation. If they insist, hang up and call back. Make sure you get the CSR name or ID number. Our daughter did that-no reference to reservation.

[Zoey]

Is it possible that your daughter could go as well? Instead of losing $2500 maybe spend a few extra hundred and invite Mom along too. That way her son may be able to go.

 

No, she can't get off work with such short notice.

 

I would have no problem even paying for my daughter's legal fees, if needed, for her to get sole custody and have offered to help in the past BUT not enough time now since we are scheduled to leave town in 21 days.

[janlou37]

Looking at the Consent Form you have to sign, it does not state that both parents need to sign. So with just your daughters signature you should be absolutely fine, but I would run it past RCCL first.

 

Don't give up, it's too good a thing to pass up.

 

I wish you all the best sorting this out x

[nonnie&dgd]

Is your grandson and your last name the same? I have taken my dgd on many cruises and was never asked for anything. I did have the paperwork in case I needed it, but they never asked for it. I know it's a gamble.

[Zoey]

I'm sorry. That stinks. I'm not a lawyer, but I've done this three times, bringing my two sons friends on different cruise with us. Two on Royal, last one on NCL. NCL required a form signed by both parents, that's a pain. Couldn't get dad to cooperate, so mom came. No issue. However, Royal only required a notorized letter from the primary parent. One time it was a married couple, but the other time was a single mom. No issue boarding. See their website link below. I think you'll be fine with a notorized letter from his mom.

http://www.royalcaribbean.com/customersupport/faq/details.do?pagename=frequently_asked_questions&faqId=2702&faqSubjectId=322

 

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I read that the other day but assumed where is says "parent(s)" the plural and singular denoted only if one of the parents were dead or one had sole legal custody.

 

I guess it's worth a try. Since I'm going to lose the fares anyway, the only additional expense I'll lose is getting to the port. We were going to drive, from Tennessee, and stop one night in Orlando to visit my best friend, and one night pre-cruise in Fort Lauderdale.

 

I guess if we're turned away I'll dig out the credit card and take him to one of the parks in Orlando on the way home - Disney or Universal - not sure which a 15 year old boy would pick. I would personally pick - neither! :eek:

[LA_CA_GAL]

As previously suggested, just forge his signature on the consent form and be done with it.

 

There is no way I would consider cancelling the cruise.

[Ocean View]

Wow really sorry for your trouble hope it works out. Keep us posted on your outcome. Don't give up easily

 

 

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