am i unreasonable

[lyannea]

I've been following this today, so here's my two cents, OP:

 

Regardless of whose idea it was to go on a cruise (in the first place, for the anniversary, as friends, as couples, etc.)...

 

Regardless of the clarity of your intentions (celebrate the anniversary, spend time with friends, focus on "you" time without the presence of children and family, catch up with old buddies, etc.)...

 

Regardless of who paid for what (you paid for your cruise, you paid for your friends' cruise fares)...

 

Regardless of who is cruising (you and your DW, your friends, family, the other passengers, etc.)...

 

Are they friends? If so, put this whole question of am-I-unreasonable to the side and seek your friends. Ensure that no matter what (whether they decide to cruise with you or not) that you want harmony. If you all can smile at this, then the answer to your question is there...no, you are not being unreasonable as you are all able to move on. If you are unable to get past it (you, you and your DW, or them), then I believe that among the couples, there is a level of unreasonable that will not go overlooked.

 

 

I can relate to this post and learned some time ago that one has both friends and acquaintances.

I have close friends and close acquaintances.

With one group, we have similar interests, be it hiking, going out, shopping, ect.

 

With the second group, the activity is not as important as getting together, wether it be at a fine restaurant or sitting in the kitchen with a pizza and beer. it's each other'company that takes presidence

 

 

-

[MiniChunks]

The friends we invited were our neighbors and good friends for 7 years. We moved across town 3 years ago, so with the combo of having children, and no longer living close by we dont get to see them often. I invited them to join us on a cruise that we had already booked because i thought it would be nice to spend the time together. Fast forward to the next weekend they are telling us they invited another 8 people. As somebody said earlier, if you invited a couple over for dinner and they showed up with their entire family, you'd be pretty put off. I do like their family, but its not what i had intended. I was not paying for their vacation, but put up all of the money for it until they could pay me back. There doesnt seem to be any hard feelings over the mix-up, but i feel justified in telling them that i didn't want an army on this trip. As for whoever said that i may have just wanted to be in control for the whole trip and ruined it anyway, thats not how i operate. I am pretty laid back, and rarely care about things like this. I have been on one vacation alone with my wife since we've been married. Every other trip has been with a group where everyone invited whoever they wanted. Maybe we should have gone the route of saying nothing to anyone and slipping out on our own from the beginning. Thank you all for your opinions.

[Karysa]

The friends we invited were our neighbors and good friends for 7 years. We moved across town 3 years ago, so with the combo of having children, and no longer living close by we dont get to see them often. I invited them to join us on a cruise that we had already booked because i thought it would be nice to spend the time together. Fast forward to the next weekend they are telling us they invited another 8 people. As somebody said earlier, if you invited a couple over for dinner and they showed up with their entire family, you'd be pretty put off. I do like their family, but its not what i had intended. I was not paying for their vacation, but put up all of the money for it until they could pay me back. There doesnt seem to be any hard feelings over the mix-up, but i feel justified in telling them that i didn't want an army on this trip. As for whoever said that i may have just wanted to be in control for the whole trip and ruined it anyway, thats not how i operate. I am pretty laid back, and rarely care about things like this. I have been on one vacation alone with my wife since we've been married. Every other trip has been with a group where everyone invited whoever they wanted. Maybe we should have gone the route of saying nothing to anyone and slipping out on our own from the beginning. Thank you all for your opinions.

 

I am glad you got it sorted out and there are no hard feelings. This is the important part.

Comparing someone inviting friends to cruise on the same ship along with 3,000 others is NOT the same as having someone bring uninvited people over for dinner. That just is not the same thing. You buy, prepare and cook food according to who and how many people you are serving. This is just not a good comparison at all IMHO.

[CaroleSS]

MiniChunks.....

Please understand that CruiseCritic is a cross section of the cruising populous. We each are our own individuals and have our own opinions. Your post count shows that you are new to CC. Please don't take offense to anything that has been said here. Each contributor is expressing an individual opinion to your query.

 

Unfortunately, some are more hateful with their comments than they should be, but many aren't. CC is a wonderful place to ask questions and the posters here have a wealth of knowledge that I draw upon on a regular basis.

 

Just remember, opinions are like ***** (fill in the blank), everyone has one!

 

Look into your heart - you will do what is right for YOU. Forgive and Forget...OH, and have a wonderful cruise! :)

[MiniChunks]

MiniChunks.....

Please understand that CruiseCritic is a cross section of the cruising populous. We each are our own individuals and have our own opinions. Your post count shows that you are new to CC. Please don't take offense to anything that has been said here. Each contributor is expressing an individual opinion to your query.

 

Unfortunately, some are more hateful with their comments than they should be, but many aren't. CC is a wonderful place to ask questions and the posters here have a wealth of knowledge that I draw upon on a regular basis.

 

Just remember, opinions are like ***** (fill in the blank), everyone has one!

 

Look into your heart - you will do what is right for YOU. Forgive and Forget...OH, and have a wonderful cruise! :)

 

Thanks for the encouragement. I am new to this forum, but not new to the world of public forums. Everyone is entitled to their opinons, and I don't take offense. This forum has been an asset to me for my trip planing, and i wish i found it before my previous cruises.

[Karysa]

MiniChunks.....

Please understand that CruiseCritic is a cross section of the cruising populous. We each are our own individuals and have our own opinions. Your post count shows that you are new to CC. Please don't take offense to anything that has been said here. Each contributor is expressing an individual opinion to your query.

 

Unfortunately, some are more hateful with their comments than they should be, but many aren't. CC is a wonderful place to ask questions and the posters here have a wealth of knowledge that I draw upon on a regular basis.

 

Just remember, opinions are like ***** (fill in the blank), everyone has one!

 

Look into your heart - you will do what is right for YOU. Forgive and Forget...OH, and have a wonderful cruise! :)

 

Hatefull is a VERY harsh word. If you are reading posts that are full of hate on cc then you should be reporting those posters. I saw none of that on here and just read one post from a poster that I don't interact with or take seriously anymore that was written just to start problems.

Edited June 18, 2014 by Karysa

[MiniChunks]

Ive not been offended by anyones posts. I asked for peoples opinions, and thats what i've gotten. I appreciate everyone defending me, and thank everyone for their honest opinions. For the record though....I am a guy for everyone referring to the OP as "she"

[alexspepa]

For the record though....I am a guy for everyone referring to the OP as "she"

 

whoops...my bad.;)

[geoherb]

We have a friend who had been threatening to join us for a cruise for many years. She finally did a couple of years ago. Her cabin was right next to ours. The only change we made was to make sure we had a large table for dinner instead of a table for just the three of us. She loved going so much that she has taken three other cruises on her own since then. I'm glad we reintroduced her to cruising.

 

On the other hand, since the OP made it clear at the beginning that he wanted the cruise to be just for them and possibly two other couples, he's right to feel a little ticked off that one of the couples started inviting others to join them as well. I'm not sure I would have canceled, though.

[donaldsc]

You were totally reasonable. You made it clear in advance that it was your anniversary and you were inviting your supposed friends because they were special. They went out and invited their entire extended family.

 

They saved you the trouble of switching cruises by backing out.

 

DON

Edited June 18, 2014 by donaldsc

[CaroleSS]

Hatefull is a VERY harsh word. If you are reading posts that are full of hate on cc then you should be reporting those posters. I saw none of that on here and just read one post from a poster that I don't interact with or take seriously anymore that was written just to start problems.

 

I have truly seen hateful (as I am sure you have as well) comments on other CC threads, and yes, there was that one (in the South we call it 'ugly') comment....which was totally uncalled for. My comment was written shortly after reading it and thus the use of 'hateful'.

 

Yes, you are correct....hateful was a poor choice of words, a bit harsh. Please accept my apologies. :o

[frawnsay]

There doesnt seem to be any hard feelings over the mix-up, but i feel justified in telling them that i didn't want an army on this trip.

 

Happy for you, your DW, and your friends that there are no hard feelings. True friends can be honest with one another and still be friends in the end. :)

 

And your gender clarification cracked me up. Way to keep it light.

 

Happy Anniversary! Enjoy your vacation and celebration!

[SPacificbound]

Ive not been offended by anyones posts. I asked for peoples opinions, and thats what i've gotten. I appreciate everyone defending me, and thank everyone for their honest opinions. For the record though....I am a guy for everyone referring to the OP as "she"

 

I kept wondering why you were being addressed as "she". :)