What age did you let your kids go out on their own?

[shealea]

My dh brought our son and his best friend on an Alaskan cruise. They were just shy two months of their 18 birthdays. They were free to do whatever they wanted. We were all 4 in one cabin. But they were basically on their own. They did most of their dining without us. They did choose to dine with us twice at their request.

 

They kept very busy with ship activities. They had a very good time! They went to the evening shows on their own some and with us some. They did all Ports on their own. We did shore excursions. They just wanted to explore the Ports by foot and shop.

 

It worked out really good.

 

We brought our two grandchildren on an Alaskan cruise. I think they were about 11 and 14. Our 14 yo grandson didn't spend time at the teen center except for the first evening. He met kids his age that he connected with. He had freedom to hang out with the kids he met. They did evening shows together, some dining together, hot tubs, walking around. That sort of thing. He did fine.

 

Our granddaughter, 11, spent a lot of time at the Kids Club. At first we did not give her the privilege of signing herself out. But dh decided she could have that privilege. Her friends left the Kids Club and went to the buffet each day, so she wanted to go with them.

 

We let her go walk around with her friends. I told her she always had to be with another person. At first I said NO going into your friends' cabins. But then with two of her friends I went and found their cabins and met the parents. I didn't let our granddaughter go out walking on her own.

 

It's something about those long, long halls. Empty at a lot of times. Do you know how easy someone can grab a young girl and grab them into their cabin? A small 11 yo girl would pretty much be defenseless against that. There are rows and rows of cabins with folks inside that you know not one thing about! It just gives me the creeps. Maybe I worry too much??

[conandrob240]

Our son is almost 16. For the past two years, he has had broad cruise privileges. He can go wherever he wants. He generally goes to the teen center to meet up with kids. They either do the organized activity or go off in groups to eat, shows, pool, hang out. It seems all the teens (girls and boys) were allowed to do the same. He usually goes out right after our family dinner (or sometimes eats with the teen group) and comes back to the room around 2am. He doesn't have to formally check in but we see him around the ship, typically with large packs of teens walking around. Given the large group he is always with, doing exactly what he is doing, I am surprised by the strong reaction here.

 

I am also of the opposite opinion on cruiseship crime. I kind of feel like it would be one of the worst places to commit one. They know every single person who is on the ship and there is nowhere to escape to. Not that it couldn't happen, just seems to me much less likely of a place for it to happen.

Edited March 20, 2015 by conandrob240

[iceprincess0407]

I like to think I am a responsible fifteen year old. I had full run of the ship but I had to check in with my parents. My general rule for my self was always make to always make sure I was with more girls than guys.

[Jenjer]

My DD started going around ship without us but with friends at 11.

 

On our next cruise we are not cruising with friends, she is 13 and we will allow her to do teen activities and see if she makes a friend to hang out with. If she doesn't make a friends we will allow DD and DS (10) so go around the ship just the 2 of them. Neither of them want to wander by themselves.

 

IMO its pretty boring to be by yourself but in a group the kids have fun.

 

 

The ship is a small enclosed city and with any place there are good and bad people. Don't think just because its a vacations nothing bad can touch you. Finding your family's balance of safety and freedom is key.

[jackparts]

My youngest grandkids started to cruise when they were 3yrs old on Disney. When they were 8, still on Disney, gave them limited run of the ship. Usually we did track them just to be sure. Found that they stopped many of the crew and asked many questions. All I had to do was ask some of the crew, seemed to know where they were 20 minutes ago. Usually in the arcade. Realize that was a little young, but they both knew to check in periodically and are very independent kids. Know what to do in situations and always kept to adults groups. Now, 8 total cruises, they both have the run of the ship, know what we expect and have not disappointed us except for the arcade monies, my fault.

[LrgPizza]

My youngest grandkids started to cruise when they were 3yrs old on Disney. When they were 8, still on Disney, gave them limited run of the ship. Usually we did track them just to be sure. Found that they stopped many of the crew and asked many questions. All I had to do was ask some of the crew, seemed to know where they were 20 minutes ago. Usually in the arcade. Realize that was a little young, but they both knew to check in periodically and are very independent kids. Know what to do in situations and always kept to adults groups. Now, 8 total cruises, they both have the run of the ship, know what we expect and have not disappointed us except for the arcade monies, my fault.

The reason the crew seemed to know where they were was because they were forced to keep track of these unsupervised young children, since no responsible adult seemed to be. JMO, but 8 seems to be a little young to have free rein of a ship.

[drhall]

I was 13 on my last cruise. Dad got us walkie-talkies (to keep touch, really) and sent me out on my own. I didn't have to "check in", but I was never a rule breaker, anyway. There was only so much for me to get into--so I naturally gravitated back to them throughout the day. I did manage to make a few friends who got into some bad stuff (mostly teenage drama. Testing boundaries, etc...), but I knew better :)

 

Might help that I am the youngest kid of my parents 40 years of parenting and my father's 20 years of military service! Ha! The horror stories from my siblings was plenty.

[bean24]

My niece and nephew were 13 & 14 in our last cruise. They were allowed to go by themselves as long as they stayed together. They also could go separate if they told us where they were going

[asdjl]

I was on the Getaway with my 12 (dd), 10(ds), and 8 (dd) last spring break. It was also our first cruise. Beforehand, I was like there is no way they are going off and doing stuff on their own. None of them liked the kids club, which was fine with me, but I had also thought, (before we left) that they would have all spent more time there

 

However, when we got on and got the vibe of the ship, etc. I was much less freaked out. They really didn't do anything alone, they always were with at least one sibling, that's just how it worked. The exception was my son, who liked ping pong and would go there occasionally by himself and play with who was there he. He also watched Iron Man on the outdoor screen, mostly by himself (I met up with him at the second half of the movie). The rest of the time, it would be my oldest and my son, or my oldest and my youngest going off to do something together.

 

I would also let them stay in one of the rooms (we had adjoining balconies) at night (early evening, we were all in by 10), if they were not interested in the show or whatever the other one or two of them wanted to do.

 

So, if they were off without adult supervision, it was always with a purpose (going to get ice cream, going to arcade, going to see Frozen, etc.) and they were with at least one sibling. I would not have been comfortable with my 8 year old by herself, although, knowing her, I am sure she would have been just fine.

 

I can also assure you that my now 14 year old daughter, and the vast majority of her friends, would not be those girls on the stairs referenced by the other poster. And no, I am not in denial, and I am a Clinical Psychologist, and deal with high risk youth as well. I can also assure you that, that would be the reason that my son and older daughter would not have wanted to participate in the kids/teen club, if that's how the kids were on that sailing

[Laszlo]

The stairwell full of 13-15 year olds was at 2:00am :rolleyes:

 

This was also the same cruise a woman down the hall from us was freaking out because her 16 year old daughter was "Missing" early one morning. Turns out she ended up in the cabin of another 16 year old kid (male). He had his "Own" inside cabin across from Mom and Dad. I felt sorry for the NCL employee who caught the brunt of crap from the mother. How is its NCL's responsibility?

Edited March 20, 2015 by Laszlo

[SissasMomE]

The reason the crew seemed to know where they were was because they were forced to keep track of these unsupervised young children, since no responsible adult seemed to be. JMO, but 8 seems to be a little young to have free rein of a ship.

 

OMG - totally agree! 8?? I would never.

[SissasMomE]

I don't know that letting kids wander amongst 4000 strangers is a great idea. Especially in the middle of the ocean.

 

Agreed. We didn't allow this until ours was older. I think people forget they are around so many strangers, and think because they are on vacation they are safe.

[asdjl]

We also had rules about no one in our cabins, and not going in to other people's cabins, which for us wasn't an issue because, the kids would meet other kids at an activity (e.g. mini golf) and that would be it, but I can see where it would be very scary if you didn't know where they were

 

And no, my 8 year old did not have free reign of the ship, she was always with me or an older sibling at an activity, for a short amount of time, and then we would meet up and decide what we would do next. It was definitely a family cruise trip, not a "vacation" for me, lol

Edited March 20, 2015 by asdjl

[scrappycat2]

We are taking two DD on their first cruise this summer and DW and I disagree on how to handle the kiddos. I say 15 year old can go out on the ship by herself as long as she checks in with us regularly. I say 11 year old can only go out if she is with her sister. Wife says both need to be with us at all times!:eek:

 

Am I allowing too much freedom here or is she being overly protective?:confused:

 

Thoughts?

 

I have been on 3 cruises with my DD.

At age 10 and 11, she used the buddy system with other kids we were travelling with and they stayed together at all times.

At Age 13, we were travelling without other kids. DD made friends quick in the teen club and pretty much came and went as she pleased.

However, a rule we have is that we tell each other where we are and touch base with each other approximately every two hours, either in person on the ship, or by leaving a post it note in the room. Worked out great.

[cb at sea]

I would allow them to go places for a reason. I would NOT allow them to "roam". If they are going to an activity, they would need to come find me before they go to the next thing...

[Stace894]

My DS was 12 on our last cruise and we allowed him quite a bit of freedom. He had a curfew (which he never missed) that was 30min after the last teen club activity. He had to check in with us at certain times and leave messages on the board we put up on our door. At times we would "spot check" to see if he was where he said he was going to be and he always was.

 

I have to say I really enjoyed running into him on the ship with his particular group of friends having fun. It was his vacation as much as mine and though we did spend plenty of family time together, it was nice to have some "mom and dad" time too. Being on a ship gave me a closed environment to allow him more freedom than I probably would have given him had we done something like Disney.

 

That said, each kid is ready for freedom at different ages and parent's know what is best for their particular child.

[garnet115]

I think someone mentioned it earlier, but here is the link to a thread talking about the "rules" for giving kids freedom on board. It is a good list, and I think helpful to parents contemplating this decision. Haven't let my dd on her own yet, but did sticky it so I could find it when I am ready:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showpost.php?p=24398916&postcount=3

[FrugalMother99]

Hi 2ferfun -- I believe we're on your same cruise! Have you & your wife been keeping up with the roll call? There are about 1/2 dozen families with kids in the 11-17 year old range & we're trying to set up a dinner on our 1st full day @ sea for all the kids & parents to meet ... along the lines that someone mentioned ... "safety in numbers". Also, several of us are planning private shared excursions & beach days ... to keep costs down & let the kids "meet & mingle".

 

I know this doesn't answer your original question, but on a ship of strangers, I will appreciate personally getting to know a few parents & their kids; especially since we're traveling with an only child (teen boy) & hopefully we can have each other to check in with when we can't easily locate him.

Edited March 20, 2015 by FrugalMother99

[2ferfun]

Hi 2ferfun -- I believe we're on your same cruise! Have you & your wife been keeping up with the roll call? There are about 1/2 dozen families with kids in the 11-17 year old range & we're trying to set up a dinner on our 1st full day @ sea for all the kids & parents to meet ... along the lines that someone mentioned ... "safety in numbers". Also, several of us are planning private shared excursions & beach days ... to keep costs down & let the kids "meet & mingle".

 

I know this doesn't answer your original question, but on a ship of strangers, I will appreciate personally getting to know a few parents & their kids; especially since we're traveling with an only child (teen boy) & hopefully we can have each other to check in with when we can't easily locate him.

 

Hi! We have looked in on the roll call but havent really read over everything. We will check it out, if there is a family oriented meet and greet then we would love to attend! Thanks for the heads up!

[luvtheships]

Trust me your dds will be overwhelmed with the ships size and the large variety of people on the ship

 

 

My guess..... Assuming your kids are not of the irritating type that never want to be around you and think their friends are the most important thing in the world is this....

 

It will take them 2 days to acclimate to the ship anyway and will be very happy just staying with you and each other

 

On the other hand if you are looking to do stuff without them....all I can say is that your kids will be welcome almost anywhere prior to 11 pm anyway

 

If you are looking to hang out in the bars all evening I can't advise of a plan..

 

But a family dinner....a show..a stop in a musical venue for all where parents can have a drink and kids a smoothie....a walk on deck....a visit to the deck party (lots of fun) is usually what we do with our 4 dds who were 12 to 22 the last time we were all able to cruise together

 

Never a problem but we cruise often so they know ships and are not interested I meeting others their age primarily because they are on a family trip and whenever they wanted to go somewhere we weren't interested in they just went with each other.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Edited March 20, 2015 by luvtheships

[luvtheships]

Its hard to figure all this out, isnt it? I agree, it will feel better if they are together rather than on their own.

 

 

 

 

 

I am trying not to be offended by this, I know that you are not saying that this will be my kids but I can assure you, this is not something that I am worried about.

 

 

 

 

 

YES! It IS a thing! :)

 

 

Good advice from everyone, thanks for the input! Glad to know that there are others who feel as I do!:)

 

Actually it would not be my kids either but the point is that......

 

Yes.... These are the kind of kids your kids have the potential to meet on a ship

 

Time of year and itinerary makes a big difference of course

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

[Crusin6]

It's totally up to you but here are some facts:

 

 

4000plus pax and all strangers to you which includes parents who don't care what their kids do or hang out with but the vast majority are wonderful people

 

1500? Give or take international crew who for the most part are very nice plus the below deck crew who work hard but are still total strangers

 

Many pax who cruise just to drink...and the free ubp as well

 

 

I'm just sayin and not preaching but imho I think you should survey the situation and the pax and crew demographic before you make a decision about letting them roam free or not

 

They may not want to after they survey the situation and see what kind of other kids are onboard

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[m.b0wie]

We are taking two DD on their first cruise this summer and DW and I disagree on how to handle the kiddos. I say 15 year old can go out on the ship by herself as long as she checks in with us regularly. I say 11 year old can only go out if she is with her sister. Wife says both need to be with us at all times!:eek:

 

Am I allowing too much freedom here or is she being overly protective?:confused:

 

Thoughts?

 

Late reply but you will think we are crazy. Our girls were on a few cruises and the first two they went around only with the kids club come the next we started letting them go out more on their own. By ages 12 and 13 they were running the grounds with three others there age everyday now on our latest cruise they were ages 14 and 13 and we saw them in the mornings and they said hi when they would pass on the pool deck but didn't see them pretty well again until dinner and then after that not until the next morning(we were with the family we became friends with a few cruises ago) We had full trust in them as we knew they knew the boat had rules and to respect other guest.

 

One time all five kids on our last boat were in the elevators 'elevator surfing' looking down to the main area waving to people and they waved back, they also would save the doors for people running a few seconds behind, they would go to the small cafe at 10 at night and every time would get water and pizza, it was to the point they would come up and the it would have it for them ready, he even shared stories with the kids when they would stay and sit! to us it was as long as they respect the rules of the boat, other guest and the staff we have no problem.

[FitchburgWIFamily]

You know your kids, so you know what is right.

 

I'll tell you what worked for us.

 

On our last cruise, which was the week before Easter, there was a full ship and tons of families.

 

DS, who was 14 when we sailed, had run of the ship with boundaries. He had check in regularly, be present for meals or tell us what his meal plans were, and be in the room by kids curfew (which is like midnight or something). DS spent 90 percent of his time away from us on the sport court, 5 percent of his time waiting to get his unlimited sodas, and 5 percent of his time in the Blue Lagoon getting food with sport court friends.

 

DD, who was 13ish when we sailed. She made friends right away in teen club, and was given permission to have run of the ship with her friends after we met them. She went to the shows with her friends, had a few dinners with them, and they would hang out on the pool deck talking for hours.

 

Both kids had a "never in anyone's cabin" rule unless we met everyone in that cabin. DD made friends with one of our cruise critic meet and greet families staying in a nearby cabin, and we gave her permission to go in there room.

 

We had no incidents or regrets, and both kids loved loved loved the cruise, the experience, the freedom, and the experience of making decisions for themselves regarding dining and entertainment.

[txagfan]

Not to add fuel to the fire, but when I was a teenager (90's) a cruise was a FAVORITE vacation for my buddies b/c most all of them lost their virginity and got laid.

 

I have no idea what you should do, your wife may have valid concerns...I'm sure those guys/girls parents when I was a kid had no idea that was going on. Can just as easily happen at home too, but vacation makes things seem more ok.

 

I think you have to be most concerned with kids 13-16 which IMO is when teenagers are really dumb and probably haven't had as much of that independence at home. By the time your kid is 17 or 18 you just have to trust them.

Edited December 9, 2015 by txagfan