Kids on Cruises

[Nliedel]

I was thinking more along the lines of seated at the same table on a cruise. Not my kid standing on his seat, turning around and interupting someone's meal. That's just rude and I will not allow it.

[Bookworm77]

I was thinking more along the lines of seated at the same table on a cruise. Not my kid standing on his seat, turning around and interupting someone's meal. That's just rude and I will not allow it.

 

I will agree that seated at the same table is different. Having never cruised and only having dined in one venue that was family seating (which was adult only), I've never encountered the situation. But in that instance I would be polite and speak with the child, tho to a limited amount. I definitely would not want a child attempting to monopolize the conversation the entire meal.

[LeslieRN72]

Lee/Bookworm,

 

I support you on your opinion and wanting to enjoy a quiet romantic dinner. That is precisely why we don't take our toddler to fancy restaurants. Actually I think a good Maitre' D would work hard to keep all the families near one-another and all the non-children people near one-another. Then everyone's happy. :D

[missbear]

It does sound to me like you try to be tolerant, and that you probably look outwardly tolerant even when your not feeling it so much, which is admirable.

 

You have every right to your opinion, and your preferences. I don't always love (or like) seeing chilren, and I understand your point about not wanting to be pestered!

 

Best wishes and nice job on the positive feedback for good parents.

 

I'm sailing soon, and now I have to wonder what sorts of children (and adults) I'll encounter on this cruise. Let's hope I'm feeling patient! (and I hope I'M well behaved ;) )

[cruizinbabe]

Bookworm, I don't really think you're making yourself look any better. I think the word that really get to me is "never". There is a big difference between a 3 year old talking and monopolizing your entire conversation and saying hi meeting the stranger next to them and exchanging a few phrases and niceties. Heck, I say "hi, how are you" to most people that I meet in passing on the street, what's wrong with a 3 year old smiling and saying hi to people as I'm walking and holding his hand as we walk to our dinner table.

 

I wouldn't let my kid sit and bug someone for an extended amount of time, but I think your use of the word "never" is a little strong. Who made you queen for the day, so that you can choose to only tallk to someone "on my terms". Life doesn't always happen on "my terms" even on an expensive vacation that you've paid for. What if you choose to talk to me or my 3 year old and we don't want to talk to you. If everyone only conversed with others when it was on "their terms" then we would all be sitting there like a lump of mashed potatoes. Sounds selfish and CHILDISH to me!

[LeslieRN72]

I'm sorry Bookworm. I don't think you deserved that. You've been very reasonable.

[caviargal]

Bookworm, I don't really think you're making yourself look any better. I think the word that really get to me is "never". There is a big difference between a 3 year old talking and monopolizing your entire conversation and saying hi meeting the stranger next to them and exchanging a few phrases and niceties. Heck, I say "hi, how are you" to most people that I meet in passing on the street, what's wrong with a 3 year old smiling and saying hi to people as I'm walking and holding his hand as we walk to our dinner table.

 

I wouldn't let my kid sit and bug someone for an extended amount of time, but I think your use of the word "never" is a little strong. Who made you queen for the day, so that you can choose to only tallk to someone "on my terms". Life doesn't always happen on "my terms" even on an expensive vacation that you've paid for. What if you choose to talk to me or my 3 year old and we don't want to talk to you. If everyone only conversed with others when it was on "their terms" then we would all be sitting there like a lump of mashed potatoes. Sounds selfish and CHILDISH to me!

 

I also think Bookworm's opinion is a valid one. When I am with my 3 YO niece, she will often say "hello" or "hi" to people in passing. This is fine. Some people respond, some do not. I do not consider them "childish" or "selfish" if they choose to ignore her. That is certainly their choice.

 

However, I do not allow her to go over to other folks tables and start chatting, as I would not appreciate a toddler interrupting my meal to talk with me.

[meglet]

I'm with Folgy on the pool issue. Not every ship has an adults only pool. When I was growing up, we rented a house on the beach for a few weeks every summer. I can remember being quite small when my mother encouraged me to be considerate and not splash people in the face when I was playing in the water. On a summer cruise in the Caribbean, it's too hot to simply sit on the edge of the pool.

[EmJakeBubbie]

so here we are in the show lounge, SOS, last week. the young couple sitting on our right had the walk through blocked w/their umbrella stroller and made no attempt to fold it up or move it so other folks could get to their seats. it was somewhat rude of them, but didn't make a significant impact on us. Sure, their less-than-one-year old was noisey and squirmy (it was the bedtime hour), but we still made polite contact *until* ....ok, here it comes! yep, right there on formal night in the show lounge, out comes the diaper change!!! I wouldn't have noticed, except for the smell. So, being the good Bubbie I am;) I make "eye contact" and give a scowl......ok, flame away.... well, young mommy proceeds to give me a verbal lashing, but I'm old and don't hear so good so what she said, I can only pressume twas not complimentary towards me. I stand my ground: she was wrong! And, if that wasn't bad enough, in the row behind us, a young toddler got to stinking really bad, but by now, no seats remaining for our seat relocation. After about 15 minutes I guess even the parents gave it up and at least this mommy had the good sense/common courtesy to remove the child to a more appropriate diaper changing station! I just don't get the lack of good manners and respect for your fellow passengers......

[Nliedel]

I have small children and that was just rude. No one should be changing a diaper in the open in a theater.

[LeslieRN72]

I wouldn't let my kid sit and bug someone for an extended amount of time, but I think your use of the word "never" is a little strong. Who made you queen for the day, so that you can choose to only tallk to someone "on my terms". Life doesn't always happen on "my terms" even on an expensive vacation that you've paid for. What if you choose to talk to me or my 3 year old and we don't want to talk to you. If everyone only conversed with others when it was on "their terms" then we would all be sitting there like a lump of mashed potatoes. Sounds selfish and CHILDISH to me!

 

Here's another little thing that people always tend to forget about. Not everyone is an extrovert. Not everyone enjoys being the center of attention and talking to perfect strangers. Sometimes you just want to sit on an airplane and read or listen to music instead of making small talk with someone.

 

I am comfortable in social situations, but I tend to be more of an introvert. I just don't crave them and need them like extroverts do. My husband is the epitomy of an extrovert. I am also a great conversationalist. I pretty much learned that extroverts love to talk about themselves. I just ask a lot of questions and they go on! I crave to learn new things so it works out great.

 

Not all of us want to engage in conversation with strangers (whether they are adults or children) all the time. That is perfectly acceptable.

[EmJakeBubbie]

I have small children and that was just rude. No one should be changing a diaper in the open in a theater.

thank you - that rude diaper-changing mommy really got my goat because I know she was yelling nasties at me (I could "see" her body language)....it upset me what she was doing - upset me more that she felt compelled to verbablize a defense (I had only scowled not spoken a word) - I prefer to think she knew she was wrong and got defensive when held accountable. Thinking back, it still digusts me!

[glen tev]

Thanks for your post!

 

I agree. It's a lot easier to tolerate/overlook a young child acting like a spoiled brat, than an adult acting the same way. I have seen far too many adults acting like brats on cruises. That said, this applies to kids who are being supervised. Unsupervised children or teens can creat havoc in a hurry. There is no 'polishing' without someone there to polish the gem. Kids should cruise, parents should be parents, and adults should be adults.

I agree.We were in Labadee last monday on Voyager and saw 2 russians screaming at each other over a noodle float while the kids stared speechless on the beach.I'll take the little kids anyday over 1/2 the adults.

[Bookworm77]

I thank those who have voiced agreement with my opinion (or stated I didn't deserve the flaming). I also respect those who feel differently, and voice it also.

 

One of the great things about this world we live in is that there are all kinds of people. Some times you see eye to eye, some times you don't. That doesn't make any particular person bad... it just makes life more interesting.

[Rala]

As the mother of two and grandmother of five (whom I babysit for ALOT and love with all my heart), I think missbear is a lovely person and I do agree with much of what she says. However, her comment about a child throwing food is a bit misguided I feel. A child (unless under the age of 1 year) throwing food is not in the process of LEARNING , but in the process of TESTING,( the limits and the parents/caregiver ). I am all for well-behaved children on cruises. When they misbehave, they should be removed from the scene for everyone's comfort. JMHO!

[barbyma]

I don't know if the variety of kinds of people in the world is a good thing or a bad thing. I guess it wouldn't be very interesting if we were all the same, and this board wouldn't be very entertaining, but I have very low tolerance for:

 

1) eating at the buffet

2) obnoxiously loud conversation in restaurants

3) talking through movies or shows

4) changing diapers ANYWHERE in public except a bathroom

5) obliviousness to others (blocking walkways or doorways, banging into others with acknowledging or apologizing, chatting with a clerk while there's a line out the door, etc.)

6) charging into elevators without first letting the people in it out

7) allowing children to annoy others by running around in restaurants, screaming and whining, or "visiting" other tables without invitation

8) child-bashing or intolerance for children who are behaving better than many adults

9) people who don't even make a move to give up a seat for someone who may need it more (pregnant women, older person walking with cane, etc.)

10) Chair Hogs!

 

Did I get it all? Jeans in the dining room don't bother me:p .

 

Barb

[Bookworm77]

barbyma, I agree completely with all you said.

[ElvisandTracey]

My 9 year old has been on 4 RCI cruises and knows exactly how to, and how not to, act in public and at home. My 1 year old is eagerly awaiting his first cruise onthe Freedom in 2006. We just got home from Hawaii yesterday, me, DH, DM and 2 kids-everyone had a blast.

 

Here's a newsflash-there are many "adults only" crusies, as well as more sedate cruise lines that are geared towards a mature, non-child having market. If kids bother you, taking a cruise with a rock wall, ice skating, mini-golf, surf-simulator, kids center and video game room may not be for you- of all the cruise lines, RCI surely is geared the most towards children-they wouldn't keep thinking these circus acts up if they wanted only adults to sail-the Freedom is full of new ideas specifically geared towards the interests of children and teens-

 

If you don't like kids, sail on one of the luxury or Italian lines-there are far fewer children and teens, as they would be bored and drive their parents crazy.

[missbear]

Rala, I think you and I are agreeing about the food throwing. I consider it testing too, and if a parent does their job, the child is also learning. ;) (but just because the child is learning not to do it, it doesn't mean they'll never do it again, and so that's behind my comment about it being a process.) It's not so much that I find it acceptable, it's more that I try really hard not to let those things get to me, but I'll confess I'm human and I do get irritated by children pushing limits.

 

random babble: I think as adults it's easy to forget that children need to learn each tiny part of what we consider a simple rule like "don't throw food" ie: it's not ok to throw food at home, in the high chair. but then you have to add that throwing food from any position at home is not ok, then you have to teach that the rule is also for friends houses, public, daytime, night, parties and serious meals....kids really need to learn each little component. It makes my brain hurt to think how much work it must have been for our little brains. It's not that the parents are only giving each tiny piece but the child is gradually trying to interpret and adapt to a much more confusing world than it looks to us as adults. Somehow we picked up a language along the way too. damn we're good!

[Rala]

Hi Missbear,

 

I think we are in agreement!! You make a lot of valid points and seem to have a good handle on child-rearing even though you don't have any children. I don't know your situation and wouldn't presume to ask, but just let me say that I think you would be a wonderful mother!!

[Lightsluvr]

I have been described (by my spouse on occasion) as a GOM. (Grumpy old man), I admit that at age 61, I have developed a sensitivity toward poorly behaved children, whether it be my own grandchild or a stranger's kid on a cruise line.

 

That being said, we just returned from a 7 day cruise to Canada on Enchantment OTS, where some of the best behaved persons on the cruise were several pre-schoolers with their parents. Yes, there may been an occasional cry from the younger ones, but on the whole, they were very pleasant and well-behaved. Kudos to their parents! I would sail with them anytime.

 

On the other hand, we experienced some of the rudest, most self-centered, obnoxious adults we could have imagined. The children didn't sit in the front row of every theater show, talking loudly to the entertainers like it was a personal command performance; the children didn't sit at their table in second seating of formal dining guffawing so loudly it rattled the water glasses two tables away; the children didn't run across an elevator landing and stick a cane in the closing door of a completely full elevator, to unsuccessfully try to wedge themselves in; a pack of senior adults did literally "park" themselves in front of the Windjammer serving islands playing with the food (cross-contamination) while long lines formed behind them; during disembarkation, adults did block the stairs and refused to move even though their tag colors had not been called.

 

In spite of these "childish" adults, we still had a great cruise, and we avoided hurricane Ophelia!

[caviargal]

Here's a newsflash-there are many "adults only" crusies, as well as more sedate cruise lines that are geared towards a mature, non-child having market. If kids bother you, taking a cruise with a rock wall, ice skating, mini-golf, surf-simulator, kids center and video game room may not be for you- of all the cruise lines, RCI surely is geared the most towards children-they wouldn't keep thinking these circus acts up if they wanted only adults to sail-the Freedom is full of new ideas specifically geared towards the interests of children and teens-

 

If you don't like kids, sail on one of the luxury or Italian lines-there are far fewer children and teens, as they would be bored and drive their parents crazy.

 

There are certainly not "many adults only cruises" available for those of us that would prefer this. If there were, many of us would be booking them. Celebrity used to offer 4 a year but they no longer do this.

 

And I quite certain you have never cruised an Italian line if you have the opinion that there will be fewer kids aboard. The ONLY negative of my recent MSC Med cruise was too many ill behaved children, just like here at home.

 

Not everyone can afford the luxury lines. I personally do my best to choose ships that do not attract families (Voyager class is not an option for me because of the appeal to teens and kids) and to sail during the times of year that they should be in school. That, however, does not excuse the behavior I have experienced on board on numerous occasions. Mid market cruising is not the exclusive domain of families.

[JCSM-Mom]

I've seen this mentioned a couple of times now....and if I hadn't of read it here....I wouldn't have thought people would do this. GROSS. Although, I've seen people changing diapers in the cars in parking lot (which isn't bad, we've done this) BUT, I've seen them leave the diaper lying there in the parking spot!!! This we do not do! Again, GROSS.

 

I have two in diapers, and you won't be seeing me changing either of them in a public area. Nor will you see me waiting for the show to end to change a stinky diaper either. (Course, you won't see me in the show with the two toddlers, so this point is moot).

 

As far as throwing food goes, personally I don't find it acceptable. Not to say that mine haven't tried and don't still try it, to see if I've changed my mind I guess, but it's not ok. Although, the little one usually lands more in her lap than her mouth...but that's entirely different.

[vision]

I love someone complimenting me and my children on their behaviour but personally would not appreciate this if it was being said purely to annoy another family who are not sitting eating without any noise or discomfort to others.

 

I am new to this site and indeed cruising, first cruise this christmas, but looking through the boards, there is so much negativity towards children its beginning to worry me. My children are well behaved normal kids, yes there are kids that drive me mad, mothers just sitting chatting letting them annoy others, but if you really dont want to see or hear children dont go on a ship that has them. I wasnt aware when I booked that cruising was solely for adults.:confused:

[Nliedel]

I love someone complimenting me and my children on their behaviour but personally would not appreciate this if it was being said purely to annoy another family who are not sitting eating without any noise or discomfort to others.

 

I am new to this site and indeed cruising, first cruise this christmas, but looking through the boards, there is so much negativity towards children its beginning to worry me. My children are well behaved normal kids, yes there are kids that drive me mad, mothers just sitting chatting letting them annoy others, but if you really dont want to see or hear children dont go on a ship that has them. I wasnt aware when I booked that cruising was solely for adults.:confused:

 

I do not think there is negativity on the boards towards children. I do think there are a few, very vocal, posters that feel children do not belong on a cruise and get irrate if they even see them on vacation and are horrified if anyone removes their children from school to cruise to the point they practically point fingers and call those people bad parents but they are a small group. I can ignore them. The children I do not, personally, wish to see on a cruise are children who are left to run the ship unsupervised. That annoys me. A child, being a child, sometimes loud, having fun and filled with joy is not a problem to most people. A child alone in an elevator pushing all the buttons and loudly deriding people is a menace. That, however, is not the fault of the child and I do not blame them. It is the fault of the parent.