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December 3-10, Epic (in length) Review

Swells1

By Swells1,
in Norwegian Cruise Line

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Swells1

Swells1

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I always say I’m going to write a review, and never follow through. So, inspired by the wonderful reviews I read every day, I’m going to go for it. Lower your expectations- I’m no Mitsugirly! We've been back almost a week now, and I'm so jealous of those who can immediately begin a review. I haven't even unpacked yet! I've just been so busy trying to play catch-up at work, I don't have time to do anything! This is the first time I've been on Cruise Critic since we left. That says a lot!

 

First of all, let me take a moment (or ten) to introduce the group. I always find this part very important. I think the best reviews are written by people I can relate to, or have something in common with. There’s me- I’m Stacie. I’m in my late 30s (When did that happened? I used to be 19!), and this was my 4th cruise- all with NCL. Just a head's up- I have what I would call a dry sense of humor, although I hear the word "snarky" bandied about more than I would like, so don't say you weren't warned.

 

Collin is the hubs- he’s in his mid 40s. This was his 3rd- all with NCL. We have been married for 18 years, and have no children. We tend to cruise once every other year. We are huge music fans, and we usually take 2-5 day road trips about every month for concerts. We love cruising, but music is our first love.

 

Carolyn is my mom, although she'll be known as "Mom" in this review. I’m forbidden to tell you her age, but I will say she is old enough to have me for a daughter without having been featured in either the Guinness Book of World Records or the Weekly World News. This was her 3rd cruise- all with NCL.

 

The one thing you really need to know about me (and this really goes for all three of us) is this:

If I were to walk into a travel agency and said “Pick the perfect vacation for me!” a cruise ship would be the absolute LAST choice. I don’t drink AT ALL. Really. I read reviews all the time that say, “I don’t drink- usually 2-3 per day”. That’s drinking, my friend. I have never had a sip of alcohol in my life- not even NyQuil. The hubs is a Friend of Bill, so he doesn’t drink. My mom will have one mixed drink for the entire week- and she’s good until the next cruise. We also don’t particularly like beaches and I don’t eat seafood, although Collin does. I used to say the only seafood I eat is hushpuppies, but too no one got it.

 

Despite all this, we still love cruising.

 

That brings me to Linda. She requires a little back story. Back in 2012, I took my mom on her first cruise- just the two of us- and she loved it. My beloved, Collin had a decidedly different opinion about being left at home. So, in 2014, it was the three of us, and we had a great time, except one problem. My mom and my husband have opposite vacation personalities, and I am somewhere in the middle. He says, “A vacation is my time to rest and take it easy”. She says, “I can read a book or take a nap at home- for free.” My mom was in the cabin next door, and she wanted to go explore the ship and participate in activities, but wouldn’t do anything alone. Every minute I wasn’t with her, I knew she was lonely and bored and I felt guilty. Collin and I work opposite hours. It’s not uncommon for us to go two weeks without seeing each other. So, we were together for a whole week- no chores or errands- just a week to relax and hang out. Every minute I wasn’t with him, I felt guilty. When we started planning this cruise, we knew a roomie would be a necessity. It was going to be a sweet deal for the other person. Mom was happy to pay the 200% single supplement, so adding another person wouldn’t increase her total. That person would just need to pay their own airfare, DSC and spending money. The problem was finding the right person. Her husband isn’t interested in cruising, and she doesn’t have many single friends. Also, it seems to me that more and more Baby Boomers are busy taking care of grandchildren or elderly parents- or both.

 

First she approached Crystal- a family friend. At the time, Crystal was working as a round-the-clock, in-house caretaker for an older woman. In ten years, she hadn’t taken a full day off. Everyone thought she deserved a vacation. Unfortunately, the woman in her care passed away, and Crystal hadn’t saved a single cent in the entire time she was there. She decided food and shelter were more important than a Caribbean cruise. (Some people, huh?)

 

So, then she thought of Angie. This would have been a beautiful story. Angie is my mom’s niece- my cousin. When she was 5 years old, her mother divorced my uncle and took Angie and her younger brothers out of the state. She changed their names, and my uncle never saw his children again. My mom actually tracked them down a few years ago, and they were able to meet my (our) grandmother three months before she died. Angie was excited to come with us, but developed breast cancer. She has a clean bill of health now, but it was dicey for a while, and travel wasn’t a priority. Back to square one.

 

Then we found out that her cousin, Vickie- whose husband enjoyed travel as much as my step-father- was interested. She had been raising her granddaughter, who was about to go off to college, and now had opportunity to go. Then, her husband passed away. It was unexpected and she was in a really bad place for a while.

 

I was afraid people would start to run when they saw her coming, so I decided it was time for me to take over. The first person I thought of was Linda.

 

Linda works as the executive housekeeper at my hotel. A few weeks before we left for the 2014 cruise, she would ask questions about it. She wanted to see pictures of the ship we were going to be on. When I told her about the ports, she would get this far-away look in her eyes, and would say things like, “I’ve always dreamed of going there.” And, the more I talked to her, the more I realized this woman was in NEED of a vacation! Despite having some pretty significant health issues, her no-good husband refused to get a job. Then, her drug-addicted step-daughter left her three young children at her door. Of course, Linda stepped up, and took responsibility for the care of these kids who all have serious behavioral and developmental problems. Linda also kind of reminded me of my mom. They have the same mannerisms, and use the same expressions. I knew they would hit it off, so I set up a play-date, and they became instant friends.

Mom and I split her airfare, and her two grown (biological) children bought her some NCL OBC. Then, the week before we left, the most amazing thing happened- our hotel senior staff threw us a private Bon Voyage party and gave us both a $500 pre-paid gift card with the caveat that they could only be used for spending money on the cruise. (Of course, Linda’s envelope contained a card that could be used to purchase merchandise. Mine contained something that looked alarmingly like a room key card. My suspicions were confirmed when my general manager said, “Don’t forget to return that key card. Those things cost $.30 each, ya know?” Yes, I know.)

 

The great thing about taking Linda is she had never been anywhere, or really done anything. She had never flown, never seen the ocean, and never been on any kind of boat- let alone a mega-ship. It’s easy sometimes to become jaded, so it’s nice to see things from someone else’s point of view. And, I knew she would be able to drag the three of us out of our comfort zone.

 

Wow. That was a REALLY long introduction! Thanks for hanging in there. I promise I will talk about the cruise!!

 

I'm going to stop here and wait for some responses. It's a bit awkward putting yourself out there when you aren't sure anyone is actually interested! :o

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Swells1

Swells1

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Thanks for the kind words, guys!

 

I'm a planner and I enjoy it. I'd like to think I'm good at it. But it's tricky planning a vacation for four adults. And I got zero input from the others. This is how almost every conversation went:

 

Me: What do you think of XYZ?

Mom: Whatever you want to do. You're in charge.

Linda: I'll enjoy anything I do away from these kids and this hotel.

Collin: We'll talk about it more when it's closer to time to go.

(Thanks, guys, you make my life a breeze.)

 

I tried to take everyone into consideration in every detail. The first decision was the hotel. I chose the Double Tree at Cocoa Beach. It's beachfront so Linda could see the ocean for the first time. It's within walking distance to a Publix and a Dollar Tree to pick up last-minute items, since we typically don't have a car. Collin doesn't like using travel-size toiletries and the full-size versions are too heavy to pack, so I buy in port. Also, this was before the soda ban and I had every intention of stocking up on Coke. And who doesn't love a chocolate chip cookie?

 

The next major decision was airfare. I spent weeks weighing the different options. Collin and Linda didn't really care, so my mom and I decided on Allegiant. The tickets were less than half the price of Delta- even after the extra charges of luggage fees and paying to choose your seat, the flight time was 1:30 pm so we wouldn't have to get up crazy early, and because I booked so far in advance, I was able to get bulkhead seating, so we would have a smidgen more legroom. The only drawback was the return flight. We would have to fly into Chattanooga and drive back to Knoxville. That's when I started researching ground transportation options and realized just how far the airport was from the pier and the hotel. We were going to have to get a car. Since we didn't necessarily need to be within walking distance to shops, maybe we could upgrade our hotel? I asked everyone if they'd be more interested in staying at the new Homewood Suites. It's the same price and it's close to the cruise terminal. See above for the responses I received.

 

About two weeks before the trip, my beloved realized he was about to take a vacation and decided to become involved:

"Next time we need to plan better and fly into an airport closer to the ship."

(Of course! How foolish of me.)

"Next time we need to plan better and fly on a real airline."

(As opposed to the imaginary one I've chosen?)

He would go on to offer more pearls of wisdom, but I'll post them as I received them- too late to be useful.

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Swells1

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We got up early Friday morning and dropped Miss Rosie (aka the cutest doggie in the world- see avatar) at the vet. We had planned on taking her to a doggy spa, but on Thanksgiving morning she woke up with a horrible cough. I thought she had something caught in her throat. It turned out to be kennel cough. Just a mild case, but enough to make her persona non grata (canina non grata?) at the spa.

 

From there, I had to go to the nail salon. We'd both had manicures just a few days prior, but I managed to chip both thumbs packing. He dropped me off at about 10:20 and went to his optometrist to pick up contact lenses. It took about 7 minutes to fix my nails. Here is something you don't know about me- I'm not a worrier. At all. (My life's goal is to have zero stress, and I'm pretty close- I have a job I love even though it pays peanuts, I don't have kids to worry about, I don't any debt, and I live JUST far enough from my family to be available when necessary.) Maybe it was because I left my purse and phone in the car and I knew my mom and Linda were probably blowing it up, but as I was sitting there in the nail salon watching the clock, I had this overwhelming fear that Collin wasn't coming back for me. With each tick of the second hand, it became OBVIOUS he wasn't coming back. I mean, why wouldn't he just take off for Mexico or something? I started to panic- internally, of course, I'm an emotionless robot. Okay, Swells (yes, that's what I call myself), Linda is going to be at the hotel at 11:00, if he's not back in the next minute, it's time to start walking...okay, I'll give him one more minute.

 

Of course, he arrived in plenty of time to drive the quarter of a mile to my hotel. That would be my only meltdown and you, my Cruise Critic friends, are the only ones to know about it.

 

Linda was very nervous about her first flight. She was even nervous to walk into the airport. She didn't quite understand how to pack, so I volunteered to pack for her. I also had all of her spending money as well as her documents. We had a little scare earlier in the year with getting her birth certificate. Her mother refused to give her any information she needed to order one. She wouldn't even tell her the county of Linda's birth. No birth certificate=no cruise. We were still dealing with this when I booked our airfare, so I booked hers separately from ours and paid a little more for refundable tickets. (She would eventually get the certificate and find out her father wasn't who she thought. You gotta love family drama.) When I printed our boarding passes, she was the only one who didn't get TSA Pre-Check. She was so nervous as we approached the security line. It was so long. Mom and Collin took advantage of the Pre-Check but I waited in the long line with her. That is, until a hateful ole biddy saw my boarding pass and yelled at me to go to my correct line. I apologized and sailed through the short line. It was pretty sweet. While the three of us were waiting for Linda, a pregnant lady with an infant came through the line. She didn't want to go through the x-ray, so they started doing the pat-down. They were almost finished with her when her carry-on dinged. I guess she had forgotten to mention the baby bottle. This poor woman practically went through a strip-search three feet away from us all the while her baby is screaming and her husband is freaking out. Okay, I understand the need for security, but she could have been taken to a private room. All turned out to be fine in the end. She wasn't carrying explosive formula, and, even better, she wasn't on my flight. I don't need drama- I'm stress-free. Still waiting, we spotted a Starbucks just a few feet away. Linda could see us, so of course, we had to show off our new-found goodies. If looks could kill...

 

Linda made it through security with her honor intact, and Collin was hungry. After he ate his wildly expensive sandwich we headed to our gate. Our plane arrived just as we did. There was a couple near us. The man, who was around 120-years-old, was in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank and his child-bride of about 90 or so was sitting about 15 feet away. The gate agent approached him and asked if he had been given the proper paperwork to carry oxygen on board and did the gentlemen NEED the oxygen. The man indicated that he did indeed need to breathe whilst flying. The wife, who I like to think is named Trixie, yelled that, no, his doctor told her he didn't need any of that paperwork nonsense. (I'd believe it, as the last living signer of the Declaration of Independence. He's earned a little latitude.) The gate agent really tried, but neither of these two understood the concept of a Fax machine and he'd already told the agent he needed his O2. He wouldn't be allowed to board. So, Trixie left him at the gate and boarded the plane without him. Since we were at the very front of the plane, we heard the conversations between the flight crew and the gate staff. Apparently, she just left him there alone without even bothering to call someone.

 

So, now we're on the plane. Since we're in the front row, there are no seats in front of which to store our purses, so they had to go overhead. I was stuck in the middle seat, so I couldn't just stand up and get what I needed. Oh, well. I guess I won't take any pictures. Collin sits down and leans over to Mom and Linda. "These seats are awesome! So much legroom and headroom. Aren't you glad we booked them?" I would hear that word "we" many times on this trip. Now that I'm home, I'm considering calling my mother-in-law and asking her if she knows the definition of the word because clearly she didn't pass the knowledge to her son. "We"?

 

The flight was without incident and we landed at the Sanford airport right on time- 3:09pm. Linda had her first cigarette since before 11am. My plan was to get our rental, and be in Cocoa Beach by 4:30 or so. That would give us time to pick up the few things we needed, have dinner and spend some time at the beach before sunset. Ahh, the best laid plans... Linda and I sat in the waiting area with all the luggage while mom and Collin went to the rental counter since they would be the primary drivers. There were two agents and no line. Of course, they chose the trainee. As we waited, we saw about 15 people come, get their keys and go. We waited. We were finally on the road at 5pm. It was dark by the time we got to the hotel. I almost forgot to mention- as we were looking for the rental car terminal (which is across the street from the baggage claim a the Sanford Airport, BTW), a woman yelled "Excuse Me! Move!" and practically ran us down. It was Trixie- she's a spry ole gal!!

 

Let me be completely honest with you, it's really hard for me to give an objective review of a hotel. I've worked at various hotels since I was 19 years old. I met my husband at a hotel. All my friends work at hotels. I tend to be a little more sympathetic when I notice a problem. I also get a big, fat discount. It's a lot easier to overlook a few things when you're paying $200 less per night than the guy checking in behind you. Disclaimer aside, I thought the DoubleTree was nice. It's showing some age, but the staff is wonderful. The pool is small, but we didn't use it anyway. The beach is just a few hundred feet behind the pool, and it was beautiful. We had a partial ocean view with a balcony. I could have upgraded to a full ocean view for $60, but chose not to.

 

We had dinner at the hotel restaurant, Three Wishes. Collin had some kind of pasta dish with seafood and the three girls had Philly cheese steaks. The food was okay- better with my 50% discount.

 

Collin has a thing about ice buckets. If there is an ice bucket, it needs to be filled with ice. No exceptions. He was discussing his ice obsession at dinner and mentioned he didn't see an ice machine on our floor. (We were on the 2nd floor, and the gals were on 3). Linda told him it was near the elevator. Later that night, he went out in his bare feet to find it. Of course, there wasn't one at all on our floor, so he hit the elevator button to go up to the third floor. As he waited, a lady came up and waited with him. He apologized for standing there without any shoes. She looked at him, and said "Honey, it's okay. You have pretty hair." This would be a running joke throughout the cruise.

 

Everything I needed to buy I could find at the Publix right across the street, but Linda suddenly remembered she didn't have a bathing suit, so we found a Wal-Mart. It took me about 90 seconds to locate my shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream and saline solution. After an hour of searching, Linda wasn't able to find THE bathing suit she was searching for. Poor Collin was outside in the car waiting for us. We went back to the hotel to retire for the evening. Mom and Linda went straight to sleep, while I listened to Collin complain for a while.

 

The next morning, I woke up crazy early, so I walked down to the beach and tried to take some photos of the sunrise. It was a little too cloudy, but I was able to get a few good shots. I went back to the hotel to gather the troops. We decided to have breakfast at the hotel. They had the option of a menu or buffet. Before I could ask to see the menu, everyone else decided on the buffet. It was $14.95 per person, and not worth it. It wasn't really worth the $7.50 we paid. While we were eating, mom realized she had forgotten to pack her aspirin. She had a heart attack in 2014, so she's on a low-dose regimen. The three of us went out shopping. Again. And Collin went up to take a post-breakfast nap. The first stop was the Dollar Tree. All I needed was air freshener. Linda wanted some cheap readers and sunglasses. She tried on every pair they had. Twice. After far too long at the Dollar Tree, we headed for Publix. I bought a few magnets, and mom bought her aspirin. We drove down the street and found a souvenir shop that advertised cheap swimwear. Once again, Linda couldn't find EXACTLY what she wanted, but she settled. We went back to the hotel and gave the room a final once-over and headed to Budget. It was a mess. The line of people waiting for a shuttle wrapped around the building. We waited there almost an hour. On the way, Collin saw the Homewood Suites and asked why we didn't stay there. I told him it was because he wanted to stay closer to the beach. " I didn't even see the beach. Next time, we need to stay closer to the pier." (Gee. I sure wish I had thought of that.)

 

I had originally indicated we would arrive at 9:30, but we got there at 10:30. There were people everywhere, just standing around, complaining. I'm not sure why, though. We went right up the steps and straight through security. Before we even had time to fill out our medical forms, someone was ushering us to empty check-in desks. The guy who checked us in seemed pretty slow, but maybe I was just anxious. While we were waiting for our key cards, we heard the "all guests may now board" announcement. Looking around, there were still hundreds of people sitting in the waiting area. I'm not sure why. Before we headed to the ship, I had a mission. I was going to find a Coke machine. I found a few really nice employees, and neither of them knew where one would be. One person offered to let me use their employee break room, but asked me to hurry so she wouldn't get into trouble with her boss. I politely declined. I wasn't going to be that person.

 

A tad disappointed, but still excited, we boarded the Epic. The Freestyle Daily said we were free to leave our luggage in the rooms even though they weren't cleaned yet. However, the locked doors leading to the cabins said otherwise. So, we dragged our carry-ons to Taste for some lunch. The service was good but very slow. This is where we learned that the taste and smell of lemons makes Linda gag. This information would have been more useful BEFORE I bought my Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue perfume and my Bath and Body Works White Citrus body wash, body spray and lotion- all of which smell citrus-y and lemon-y. Oops.

 

By the time we were finished with lunch, it was after 1pm, so we tried to see if our cabins were clean. The doors were still closed and there were about 20 people standing around with luggage. A few minutes after we arrived, the elevator opened and an older couple got off. The man tried to open the door, but couldn't. Then he banged on it and yelled. That didn't help much. Then he found an unlocked door. I don't know if he made it to his cabin or not, but he came back a minute or two later looking defeated. It was a bit tacky, but everyone standing there laughed at him. He quietly went down the stairs to wait elsewhere. A few minutes later, someone said we could drop our bags in the rooms.

 

Collin and I were in cabin 13287- corner aft balcony. They were right next door. We dropped our luggage and I showed everyone the "hidden stairwell". This would prove to be handy for me. When I couldn't get the picture I wanted from the back of the ship, I could just come over here and get the shop from the side. It was almost like having two balconies.

 

I wanted to start unpacking right away, and I knew I would have to help them unpack. Since I had packed Linda's luggage, I included a few things I knew neither of them would think to pack. So, I would have to explain everything. Collin immediately started complaining about the cabin. "It's so tiny!" (Yes, I tried to show you pictures of the cabin)

"What's up with the bathroom?" (I described this to you in DETAIL)

"Why isn't this cabin more like the Dream?" (Because this isn't the Dream...)

"The TV won't swivel!" (Okay, I never thought to ask about that. My bad.)

 

Linda needed a cigarette. (This would become a recurring theme.) So, the girls went to deck 15 to let her smoke. We explored the ship a little and realized it was after 3, so we headed down to Moderno's for the safety drill. I was a little worried Collin wouldn't find us, but he showed up on time.

 

We went back to our cabins, and I was still trying to unpack both cabins. They had an adjoining cabin, which has significantly less storage space, so their cabin always seemed cluttered and small. I would be in our cabin, hanging with Collin when one of them would call me over to help them. I'd do whatever and go back to mine where I'd listen to the hubs whine about how helpless they were. This is how I spent sail away- going from one cabin to the other.

 

Okay, I'm going to discuss the cabin- specifically the bathroom. I'll try to be as delicate as possible. It might be a generational thing, or a southern thing, but I'm sure other women out there can attest to this. When we start seeing someone, we want to present ourselves in the absolute best light. We don't let them see us in our granny panties, or without makeup. And we certainly don't mention the things that happen in the bathroom. I'm a princess, not the creator of such befoulment. Well, here's the thing- in 18 years of marriage, Collin has seen my ugly undies, he's heard me snore, knows I have a frog voice in the morning, and has certainly seen me without makeup. That last thing...not so much. I have issues, I admit. But this whole bathroom set-up really had me awake at night. I am happy to say that there were no problems. The frosted glass door extends from floor to ceiling in the toilet as well as the shower. With the curtain closed, we were fine. Not 100% noise proof, but I was able to maintain my illusion.

 

Our checked luggage arrived just as we were setting sail, so I spent the next 45 minutes or so unpacking. Collin wanted to go to the casino, so we went next door to get the girls. My mom ushered us in and gave each of us an envelope with $100 singles for the casino. This was a surprise to Linda and Collin, but she has been saving them for almost six months and I got a count every day. She saved almost $1,000 singles in that amount of time. Not too shabby! Since she was so excited to give them to us, I didn't have the heart to tell her what a pain it is to use singles in slot machines. I think she figured it out, though, because she told me a few days ago that she'd deposited the rest in the bank. I lost $26, but Collin was doing well for a while- of course, he doesn't stop while he's ahead, and lost it. Oh, well.

 

My mom and I are both prone to motion sickness, but I was prepared. She likes the Seaband bracelets, but they don't really help me much. As a good daughter, though, I scoured the Internet and bought about 10 pairs in every color. I also bought Bonine, MotionEaze, and some patches I found on Amazon. (Before I wrap up this review, remind me to show you the medicine pouch I travel with. It's amazing!) I didn't really have any issues, but mom did. That night, she thought she was just hungry and maybe a bit dehydrated. Let's have dinner!

 

Dinner was at Cagney's. Collin discovered that he could make reservations on the TV that doesn't swivel. We had the old UDP, and he was so happy. Shortly after we ordered, mom's seasickness really hit her. Unfortunately, my mom isn't a graceful sick person. She pretty much wants everyone in the room to know about it. She moaned, she splashed water on her face, she put her head on the table. Finally, I told her she should go back to her cabin, and we would send her food up. She left and I found the maitre d who went out of his way to help me.

 

The food was fantastic, and despite the lack of lobster, "Next time we need to plan better and make sure I can get lobster" the three of us enjoyed our meal. I'm sorry to say the day (and the week prior) caught up to me and I crashed out cold- missing the welcome aboard show.

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arielle71

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"Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue perfume and my Bath and Body Works White Citrus body wash, body spray and lotion- all of which smell citrus-y and lemon-y. "

 

That's too funny...plus I have that perfume and love everything white citrus from BBW!!!!

 

Waiting for the rest of your review!

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The first port was Great Stirrup Cay. I wasn't really looking forward to it. As I've said, I'm not a beach person. We all agreed that we should sleep in that morning, have a nice breakfast and avoid the chaos of early tenders. Linda woke up sometime around 4am needing a cigarette. My mom woke up shortly afterwards and they went to Taste for breakfast. Collin and I slept later. We had ordered room service, so there was really no hurry. When we did leave the cabin, my mom was waiting on us. She was upset we didn't have breakfast with her. She was upset she had to wake up so early. She was upset Linda smoked (in Linda's defense, mother was still smoking when the cruise was booked). She was upset we ordered room service because she couldn't find her door hangers. She was upset her air conditioning wasn't cold enough. I went back into my cabin and called guest services about the AC.

 

Collin still maintains we would have made it to the MDR in time if we hadn't listened to mom's tirade. But we didn't, so we went to O'Sheehan's. Shortly after we were seated, a woman with a mullet sat down near us. She made a point to tell the hostess that this was her 6th time on the Epic and her- I don't know- 30th cruise. The hostess was unimpressed. She leaned over to us to offer ordering* suggestions. We both dutifully smiled and nodded and returned to our conversation. Where we were sitting, I could see the bowling shoes and I pointed out to Collin that this is where the bowling alley is. I pointed to the shoes.

"Oh, no," shouts mullet woman. "The bowling alley is over there!"

I literally grunted and turned away again.

Too little, too late. She thought we were interested. Before we knew it, we knew her whole life story. Every ship she's ever been on. What her parents did for a living...

Before I could turn on the snark, we finished our food and started to leave. She asked me if I was going to finish my toast, if not, could she have it? (With my blessings, my friend.) I even gave her the rest of the butter and jelly.

We went back to the cabin to get our things and the girls.

Mom got a little queasy on the tender over, but after she found a ladies' room and tossed her cookies, she seemed to be fine.

I was determined to find the lagoon area I'd read so much about on here. I pulled up the screen-shot of the directions on my phone, and off we went. I was walking ahead of everyone until Linda caught up with me. We would walk for a minute and stop to wait for the stragglers. This would continue until we got there.

 

Beach person or not, I'll admit this is a beautiful place. I'd never been there before, so I can't comment on the renovations.* The three of us staked our lounge chairs and chilled out. Linda finally got to put her feet in the ocean. She promptly decided it was too cold and took chair number four. We just sat there for a while. Collin and Linda people-watched, I took photos and mom was quiet. After a while, Linda needed a cigarette, and I was getting a good sunburn, so we decided to head back. Linda and Collin found a smoking area and I found the beverage area. We still had plenty of time, so we sort of splintered off in four different directions. Sometimes I would notice my mom near me, and sometimes she and Linda would be there. I really wasn't paying too much attention.* I was just trying to take some pictures. I was still lost in my own world when my mom tapped me on the shoulder.

"If I'm embarrassing you, just tell me."

(Wait. What?)

"Every time I turn around, you and Linda just leave me."

I calmly explained to her that I'm not leaving anyone as I'm not WITH anyone. I'm just taking pictures. She seemed to be satisfied.

 

Collin found us and we went to see what kind of souvenirs we could find.

I'm not hard to please when it comes to souvenirs. I want a magnet and a few postcards from every port of call. Yes, I realize most of what I buy is cheap crap made in China. I'm okay with that as long as my refrigerator looks well-traveled. I had done a few Google searches over the past few months to get an idea of what to expect here as far as pricing, but I wasn't able to really find anything. To anyone else out there wondering,* I'll put your mind at ease.* It's horribly expensive. The same magnets I could find in Cozumel for $1 were closer to $10 here. I was expecting a bit of a mark-up, but WOW. I ended up finding one for $7. GSC is not the place to buy souvenirs.

 

It was time to go back to the ship. Linda needed a cigarette first. My mom rolled her eyes at Linda. Collin rolled his eyes at my mom. No one talked to anyone on the tender back. As we were exiting the boat, I spotted a woman wearing lingerie as a bathing suit cover-up and I lost it. I was almost crying from laughing so hard. Linda saw what I was laughing at and started cracking up, too. Collin had no idea and I don't think my mom even noticed.

 

We got back onto the ship and Collin was hungry. We decided to try the buffet. Mom said she was still feeling sick from the tender ride and she wanted to go to her cabin instead. No problem, get some rest and we'll meet up a little later. The three of us went to the buffet and none of us found anything that looked appealing. Collin wanted to go to the MDR, so we found a house phone to call my mom to tell her, but she didn't answer. We figured she was asleep. We went to the MDR, but it was closed. It was back to O'Sheehan's. This is where we discovered that Linda was perfectly fine with limes and they were even better in iced tea than lemon.

 

As previously reported, the service here is really slow. Not necessarily bad, but slow. I understand being under-staffed, but when it's the only restaurant open, it's a little ridiculous. We ate our lunch and I suddenly realized I was in the middle of day three of my vacation and I had yet to have dessert! Collin asked the server for a dessert menu, and we never saw her again. He gave up after about 15 minutes and left to smoke. Linda and I gave her about 10 more and left to check on mom.

When we got to their cabin, she was gone. We went through the buffet and the outside tables. No mom. We went to Linda's smoking spots. No mom. We found the Pepsi machine and bought two Mountain Dews because we were both having caffeine withdrawals. We went to the casino. No mom. We decided we were probably missing her so we went back to the cabin to leave a note telling her to stay put for a minute. She was on the balcony crying. I'm not talking about a soft, wistful cry. I'm talking full-on sobbing.

(Dear God. Really?)

I'm pretty sure I've already mentioned I'm a robot. I don't handle tears well. I don't remember exactly what she said, so I'll give you the Reader's Digest version. She had searched the entire ship for us.

She had told us earlier that she needed to go back to the cabin to throw up and she would join us at the buffet. (Umm, no)

No one wanted her around.

We were embarrassed by her.

She couldn't help being sick.

She couldn't order room service for breakfast.

It was too hot in her cabin.

The shower was too hot when she turned it on.

We apologized. We explained to her that we had misunderstood her earlier. We thought she was going to take a nap. We tried to call her.

Obviously, we were lying about looking for her. Since we're both carrying SODAS!

 

I don't know how long it took to calm her down, but she finally accepted our apologies. Then she started whining about being hungry. If there's any problem that can be fixed on a cruise ship, it's hunger. Let's go get you fed, mama! No, she didn't want to eat now, because it would spoil her appetite for dinner. We finally convinced her to go to the buffet and get something small. No, she didn't want to drag us to the buffet since we'd already eaten. Are you kidding me? Three days, a meltdown and STILL NO DESSERT!* I went to my cabin and told Collin what was happening and where we were going.

He said, "She was fine until you and Linda started walking ahead of us"

Of course he was right. The two of laughing at lingerie woman probably didn't help matters, either.

 

We went to the buffet and she got a burger. I picked up a plate and got something just so she would see I was eating and not there just to placate her. I've forgotten now what I got. I do remember the ice cream cone, however. Woo-hoo! Finally some empty calories.*

 

Linda needed a cigarette, so we headed to the casino where we found my hubby. Linda and Collin went to the smoking section and I made sure to hang with my mom in the non-smoking area.

 

Dinner was at La Cuchina. Collin went all out and ordered a Pepsi. I ordered an iced tea with lime.

"That's right, Carolyn, we made an awesome discovery at lunch today!"

(NOOO, Collin! You cannot tell my mother about anything good that happened* today when she wasn't there! What is this, your first day?)

To my surprise, she didn't say anything passive-aggressive and ordered her tea with lime as well. So did Linda. All three teas were delivered with lemon. Linda gagged. A little later the waiter brought out our starters. I had ordered soup. He served me first and then Collin. He offered Collin some shredded cheese for whatever fishy-smelling thing he ordered and asked me if I would like some. My exact words- and I know this because I've been reminded at least a thousand times- were, "Yes. That would be nice"

The server said, "Thank you" and walked away.*

Mom caught it first and started laughing. Collin was next, then Linda. I was trying to be offended, but couldn't keep it up. Thanks, random server at La Cuchina, your blunder helped me out that night.

Well, for a while anyway. Just after she was served, mom got sick again. She took two bites of her food and said she had to go back to the cabin. This time, we made sure to give her the proper attention. Did she want one (or all) of us to go with her? Did she want us to bring her anything? She assured us she just wanted to go to bed.

The three of us stayed. Collin complained about all the wasted food (She hadn't eaten the food that had been delivered from Cagney's last night, either.) When he learned she had eaten a burger with mayo at the buffet earlier, he had a fit. "No one would eat a greasy burger with mayo if they've had stomach issues." He was convinced she was faking to get attention.

 

I don't know. Maybe she was. At this point, I was wondering how I could stay on the ship for another week by myself. I deserved a do-over.

 

After dessert (woo-hoo), we wanted to see the Beatles show. It was supposed to start at 10:30. Neither Linda nor I had our phones handy and Collin had turned his off when we boarded the plane, so we didn't know the time. Brilliant person that I am, I remembered that my camera has a clock. Of course, I didn't know how to access it, so, I took a picture of the ground and looked at the date stamp. It was almost 10, so we headed toward the Cavern Club. When we got there, another band was playing, so we found some good seats close to the right side of the stage and waited. The band kept playing. They were good, don't misunderstand me, but they weren't who we were there to see. They kept playing. I took another picture of the ground. It's 10:20. Shouldn't there be some time between acts? I pulled out the copy of the Freestyle Daily I had put in my camera case to see what time this band was scheduled to stop playing. It said 9:30. Wait. What? It then dawned on me that I hadn't sprung back last month and my camera clock was an hour fast. "Umm, guys? Bad news, we're stuck here another hour, because I might be an idiot but I'm not losing my awesome seats."

We waited.

 

I love the Beatles. They were around before my time, but when I was a kid we had a record player and I would listen to their greatest hits album over and over again. But only the early stuff. I remember once, when I was about 6 years-old telling my mom I liked the singers on the front with the short hair, not the ones on the back with the long hair. She told me they were the same people. I secretly thought she was nuts. We ordered two virgin pina coladas (sp?) for Collin and me and one slightly naughtier one for Linda. The show was great. Every time John saw me singing along he winked at me. It made me want to be a groupie.

 

After the show, Linda needed a cigarette and went out to the casino. Collin got his picture taken with the Fab Four. We lost a little money and turned in.

 

I almost forgot- I had reserved Burn the Floor for this night, but Collin was so excited about making dinner reservations with the TV clicker, I didn't say anything.

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samiam0403

samiam0403

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Still happily following along! What a great review! I feel your pain with making all of the arrangements with no input and getting the 'next time we should...' or 'it would have been nice to...' :rolleyes: Hubs and I are also huge music fans - we do a music charter cruise every year and spend way too much travelling to concerts. You mentioned wondering if you could get another week alone on the Epic - I'll be doing just that next month. I'll let you know how it goes. ;) Thanks for doing the in-depth review - it's really well done. I'm starting to wonder if you're my long-lost cruise soul-mate! :eek:

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Dubbs

Dubbs

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Did you go in the water at GSC? I have heard it is pretty cold this time of year. I'm from Florida so chilly water is not for me. We are leaving in 6 days and have the thermal spa pass. I'm thinking of just staying on board and hanging out at the spa instead of getting off at GSC. Thoughts??

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Swells1

Swells1

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Monday was a sea day. I woke up early and wanted to get some photos of the sunrise, but didn't quite make it in time. Most of the morning is a blur, so I'm sure we didn't do anything exciting. I know we ate breakfast together, I think it was in Taste.

 

I don't know why I did it. I'd only been on three cruises in my life.

The first one was on the Dream. I started that roll call, and I eagerly signed up for the Meet and Greet. While on the ship, I mentioned to Collin that the lady with the stuffed animal on her shoulder he was staring at would be at the meeting, he remembered there was an AA meeting and couldn't miss it. I didn't want to go alone. Later on, when I told him the captain had made an appearance, he regretted skipping it.

On my second cruise on the Dawn, I was going to this Meet and Greet. This roll call was Cruise Critic ROYALTY!* It was just mom and me. She was excited to attend. We both bought awesome gifts. We both woke up with seasickness and accidentally took the sleepy Dramamine. We slept for almost 24 hours.

The third cruise was on the Sun. It was the three of us. I signed all of us up to attend. Mom went to an art auction instead. Collin whined about going. When I reminded him he had been upset about missing the last one, he told me he'd gotten over it. I dragged him anyway. We were late. The officers were half-way finished with their speeches. We stayed about 15 minutes before he dragged me out. Why am I telling you all this?

Because this fool who had never even been to a Meet and Greet decided to volunteer to coordinate one. All I can say is thank goodness for the sticky at the top of this thread and Kim "Mitsugirly", who spent a great deal of her time slow-walking me through it.

 

So, here I was, about to host a group. I was the kid who was so shy in elementary school I would take an F on an assignment rather than do an oral report in front of my classmates- and I knew those kids! I heard a comedian (Jerry Seinfeld?) once talking about phobias. He said that more people are afraid of public speaking than of death. Therefore, it would be better to be the guy in the coffin than the guy giving the eulogy. The audience laughed, but I remember thinking he was spot-on.

 

Our meeting was scheduled at 11am at the Cavern Club. My mom and I got there at 10:30. Collin and Linda needed a cigarette, and came in a little later. There was a nice spread with Danish and coffee and hot tea. Nothing cold to drink, though. Not complaining, jus saying...

 

I had emailed the event coordinator and asked if name tags would be provided and was told no, so I ordered some off Amazon. They arrived months ago. Tuesday before we left, I couldn't find them. I was FREAKING out. I searched everywhere. They had vanished. Who loves Amazon Prime? This girl, that's who. I reordered them and got them the day before we left. Before the meeting started, the on-board coordinator came in and brought nicer ones. Because why wouldn't she?

 

We had a great turn out. After the officers left, a few of the men saw I was a little nervous about speaking to the whole crowd and gave me a nudge. I have nothing to compare it to, but I think it was a success. I'm still too scared to actually check the roll call, though, to read anyone else's opinions. If anyone out there wants to check and let me know if the water is safe, I won't stop you...

 

Afterward, we all returned to our respective cabins. I was so thirsty! I looked for the refillable mug I'd brought with me, but couldn't find it. I called the girls, to see if I'd left it there yesterday. They hadn't seen it. No worries. I'm on vacation, I need a mug, I know where to buy one. Money is no object. I considered asking mom and Linda if they wanted to go along, but didn't. I wanted a little "me" time. I stopped at guest services first. I had three NCL gift cards and Collin had an OBC certificate (which I can't believe I forgot to mention- more information to come...). I applied everything and headed to the shops. Every cruise, I buy a magnet and a keychain. I found the keychain right away. The magnet was just a little different than the one I usually buy, but close enough. The only mug I could find was an ugly green one that said "I heart Cruising". I asked the clerk if there were any with NCL or Epic logos, but he said no. Boo! The price tag on the bottom said $12.95, which is more than I cared to spend on an ugly green mug. When he rang me up, it was only $4.95! Now that's more like it. I returned to my cabin, and before I could even get the door opened, Collin told me I had gotten some goodies. Sure enough, there was a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries and a bottle of wine. We shared the strawberries and gave the wine to Collin's boss. He decided it was time for a nap, so I went next door.* Linda was up on deck smoking, so I had some mom time. She told me that Linda told her all about the great time we'd had last night.

(Dang it, Linda! Well, you're new. You get a pass. This time...)

 

I gave her my undivided attention and after she complained about Linda's smoking and her sleeping habits and after I ever-so-gently reminded her that I had suggested over a year ago that the two of them needed to spend some one-on-one time together, she was fine. She showed me a few things she'd bought at the big $10 sale that morning. She told me she was feeling much better and her cruise was starting today. She suggested we round up the troops and find some lunch. I opened my cabin door and Collin's snoring knocked me down. We found Linda smoking on deck 15. We decided to try the buffet again. It wasn't bad this time.

 

After we ate, Linda suggested we go lounge on the balcony, but I had a better idea. I wanted to check out the isolated area on deck 18. We went back to the cabin to grab... something. Oops! Then we went all the way forward. Yowsa! This ship is looong. We finally got there, and took the elevator to deck 17. From there we took the steps to 18. To find the right place, turn left and keep going. Go past the "Quiet Area". Keep walking until the ship ends. That's where you'll find the good cushioned loungers. There is music playing, but it wasn't loud at all. There were a few other people there, but not many at all. We had a nice time up there. We took pictures, we looked at each other's pictures, and we had a nice, polite conversation.

 

We stayed about an hour or so. I was beginning to miss Collin. We see each other so infrequently. When we have an extended time together, it's like, "Hey, I remember you! I think I like you!"

 

He was beginning to stir when I walked in. He asked me about the afternoon and I told him everything. We went over the plans for the evening. We had reservations for Priscilla at 7, then we were going to Cagney's for mom's make-up dinner. He started getting fussy. He didn't want to go to a musical. He wanted to watch the Abba movie (that he's already seen) at H2O. Then he complained about dinner time. He was hungry now, and if he ate now, it would spoil his appetite. (I swear, sometimes it's like they're the same person.) I pointed out that it was currently 5pm. All the restaurants open at 5:30pm. Go to the Noodle bar, get something light and go see your movie.

 

This seemed to satisfy him and we headed down. Mom and Linda were at the casino, and I told them to stay close by. I would sit with Collin until 6 and then we'd queue up at the Theater (Theatre?)

 

Even though we were an hour early, we were about 6th in line. That was one long hour. We decided to sit in the very back row. I'm not short. I'm 5'6"- which is perfectly average. However, most of my height is from the waist down, so when I sit down, I become a short person (vertically challenged?). It never fails, anytime I'm at a concert, some giant sits in from of me and I can't see. Lately, I've been trying to book concerts immediately when tickets go on sale, so I can get front row. Sometimes it works. The Epic Theater was great, though. From the back row, there was no way anyone could block my view. We chose our seats on the very end of the row right beside the lighting tech. I think there were only 6 seats in this row. After we were seated, I tried to get a picture of the stage, but I was too far back. Two other ladies had sat down in the seats closest to the aisle. I apologized profusely and promised them this would one and only time I would do this- they laughed- and I stepped into the aisle. There were people still coming in, but there was a break in the line after these two women pass... I ever-so-slightly eased into the aisle so my heiny wouldn't be in the nice lady's face and waited for those two to get past.* The second woman paused and motioned for me to go ahead of her. I thanked her and she said, "Whatever. You were going to do it anyway. I'm sick of people like you."

(Really? I can't say anything about the chain-smoker, or the attention-starved drama queen, or the Monday Morning quarter-back, but this woman is not going home with me.)

"Excuse me? I was waiting patiently for you to pass before I stepped into the aisle. Maybe if you would pick up your pace a little, people wouldn't try so hard to get around you!"

(I'm a proper southern girl. I can't be really rude to someone's face. I'm better once they leave the room. That was impressive for me.)

 

The show was great. The music was great. I had actually tried to watch the movie 20+ years ago when I first heard of it. Then, I tried to watch the American remake, "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar". Sadly, I didn't make it past the 10-minute mark on either before I lost interest. So, I was worried that I'd be bored.

 

There are a lot of disclaimers before the show starts about the language and kids shouldn't be present. I don't have kids myself, so my opinion is pretty worthless, but I would think hearing a few naughty words is much more preferable to extreme gratuitous violence. Also, be realistic, if your kids know the meaning of these words, they're probably old enough to handle hearing them. If they don't know what the words mean, it shouldn't mean anything to them. It would be like me listening to someone using offensive language in Mandarin. Blissful ignorance.*

 

Dinner reservations were at 9pm. I wasn't sure if the show would be finished by then, so I told Collin to make sure to be there a few minutes early and hold our table. We left with plenty of time, and the four of us walked in together.*

 

My mom and I love A-1 sauce. In my mind, and Collin's horror, a steak is just a fancy delivery system for A-1. Back in 2014, on the Sun, the MDR ran out. This is a deal-breaker for mom. This time, whilst at Wal-Mart, I bought her a big bottle to take with her. The first time we went to Cagney's she brought it. She didn't wind up staying so she didn't use it. Of course, it wasn't necessary as they had plenty available. So, this night, she didn't bring it. You guessed it, they were out. The poor server tried so hard to find some. When she volunteered to go to other restaurants, I put my foot down. If it's that important, she can go back to her cabin and get it.

 

I thought the food was perfect, but Collin and Linda said it was better the first time.

(Can either of these people have a thought and NOT share it?)

 

When it was time for dessert, I asked the server what happened to the Oreo cheesecake that I'd heard so much about. She was very sorry it had been replaced with a 7-layer chocolate cake. That is was very good, and she recommended it. We all ordered something else, and she said she was sad no one took her suggestion. She was going to bring one for the table. Of course, it was better than anything we'd ordered.

 

Always trust the server.

 

I reminded everyone we had an early excursion in the morning, and it was bedtime.

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Swells1

Swells1

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*raises hand* I'm interested! I love the intro - you setting up a "play-date" for your mom and Linda made me laugh. And what wonderful people you work with! Looking forward to reading more.

Sometimes a girl has to take charge!

I have a great group of coworkers.

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