Onboard "Stealth" Charges?

[wassup4565]

 

(*Areas in which I am terrified have nothing to do with the ship or the cruise as such. This is a family cruise with Mom and my adult siblings and in-laws, and so my true fears have more to do possible strain on any slightly less than robust relationships, and with my 87-yo Mom's greatly less than robust health.)

 

Unless you are travelling with someone who is determined to be miserable (and make everyone else miserable), you are probably worrying about this part of the trip too much also. One of the great things about a ship is people can, and usually do, find their own things to do and places they like to be. So no one needs to be trapped, all together for tiresome hours, making nice with each other.

 

You can set an example. Every day you will all receive a daily cruise newsletter listing many events and activities. You can use this as a vehicle to encourage people in your group to choose the things they like, and go their separate ways to do them. If you are really desperate for some "away" time, wait for them to announce their enthusiasms, and then pick something no one else wants to do. (You don't even have to stay with your choice. If someone catches you hiding out elsewhere to get a bit of peace, you can just say there were too many people for the Scrabble Slam, so you didn't stay.)

 

The one person who needs attention is your Mom. Her comfort and preferences come first, so you (and hopefully everyone else) must see to it that she gets to do everything she wants, all the time. But it doesn't take all of you, all the time. As well, it would be kind if people didn't let on that you are all taking turns with her. No adult likes to feel babysat.

 

It's probably a nice idea for everyone, or at least most of you, to have dinner together. If you have all been busy doing things all day around the ship, you will likely have interesting things to talk about over dinner. (As opposed to pointing out each other's character flaws, for instance.)

 

My very best advice to you is to promote the idea that there is no need to do everything all together as a family all the time. That way lies danger.

[cbr663]

OP, as you are sailing with HAL, there is a wonderful document that HAL has put together that will answer most of your questions. "Know Before You Go" can be found at this link: http://www.hollandamerica.com/cruise-vacation-planning/PlanningAndAdvice.action?tabName=Popular%20Topics&WT.ac=pNavLP_AlreadyBooked_bx_AllFAQs_btn and is a wonderful resource for first time HAL cruisers.

 

Best of luck with your cruise. Alaska is a wonderful cruise destination. It was one of our very best cruises. (and yes, it was with HAL).

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Unless you are travelling with someone who is determined to be miserable (and make everyone else miserable), you are probably worrying about this part of the trip too much also. One of the great things about a ship is people can, and usually do, find their own things to do and places they like to be. So no one needs to be trapped, all together for tiresome hours, making nice with each other.

 

You can set an example. Every day you will all receive a daily cruise newsletter listing many events and activities. You can use this as a vehicle to encourage people in your group to choose the things they like, and go their separate ways to do them. If you are really desperate for some "away" time, wait for them to announce their enthusiasms, and then pick something no one else wants to do. (You don't even have to stay with your choice. If someone catches you hiding out elsewhere to get a bit of peace, you can just say there were too many people for the Scrabble Slam, so you didn't stay.)

 

The one person who needs attention is your Mom. Her comfort and preferences come first, so you (and hopefully everyone else) must see to it that she gets to do everything she wants, all the time. But it doesn't take all of you, all the time. As well, it would be kind if people didn't let on that you are all taking turns with her. No adult likes to feel babysat.

 

It's probably a nice idea for everyone, or at least most of you, to have dinner together. If you have all been busy doing things all day around the ship, you will likely have interesting things to talk about over dinner. (As opposed to pointing out each other's character flaws, for instance.)

 

My very best advice to you is to promote the idea that there is no need to do everything all together as a family all the time. That way lies danger.

Thanks: I like the idea of holding back my activity selections until others have announced theirs. :)

 

Mom is aware that we will be "baby-sitting" her; and has, in fact, requested this service. We'll probably have some version of a scheduling chart or a (not-a-)chore wheel ("Mom-wheel"?) going.

[MicCanberra]

I check my account regularly as the cruise progresses just to ensure they haven't mistakenly charged me for something i.e. the mini bar.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Leaveitall is quoted in blue, John Bull's repsonses to LIA are in red, and my responses to both are in purple:

Sorry, leaveitall, but I really don't think you've made a case for the charges being transparent to a newbie.

 

As the OP/Newbie In Question, I am still very much looking forward to leaveitall's case being so well made that all relevant shipboard charges do in fact become transparent to me ;)

 

I would define a hidden charge as one the is not revealed or explained before it is incurred. The gratuity on bar beverages is indicated in the FAQ's. The receipt verifies it. So it is not hidden.

I agree with your interpretation. But verifying a purchase with a receipt comes AFTER incurring the charge. And I've already demonstrated how deeply this information is buried on HAL's website

 

Right. If I've already consumed a beverage before learning that I am to be charged for it, what am I supposed to do - give it back? :p

In the case where this did in fact happen to JB, he says he "wasn't chased," or indeed charged. But - settling my paranoid overthinker's hat more firmly on my head - that was just the first day. By the second day, I'm told, the staff will already know who I am and thus what room to charge (plus, I'm pretty sure that JB runs faster than I do).

 

And thank you, JB for pointing how difficult the FAQ's are to find. I'm pretty sure HAL uses the same public information people as

Arthur Dent's local planning committee - the FAQ's are pretty close to being "on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.'"

 

Fine, except the OP indicates they are from WA - which is the US. I would think they would understand gratuities.

Yes, as I acknowledged in my post "hopefully the OP, being American, will be expecting tips/service charges and won't have been caught out like so many Brit / Aussie newbies"

But also see the post by Sparks from Vermont, recalling falling foul of those same charges on a first cruise.

 

Yes, I am from the US. No, I do not understand tipping and/or gratuities. I read everything I can on the subject and do my best when forced into tipping situations; but I have badly overtipped a NewYork cabbie, ungraciously stiffed an LA hairdresser, and probably have tipping sins to be laid at my plate in at least 10 other states. (And, in all likelihood, soon also in International Waters!)

 

No camouflage at all - the application of gratuities for the stateroom attendants and dining servers is well published and identified.

How can you say that? :confused: Please just read this part of my post and try finding it for yourself - and bear in mind that YOU know that its on that website somewhere............. .

"The home page has amongst a multitude of links - none of them remotely to do with service charges - five major drop-downs including the "onboard" that you mention.

That "onboard" page has sections called Joy of Cruising, Suites & Staterooms, Our Mid-size Ships, Exceptional Service, Enriching Activities, Dining Experiences and Entertainment & Nightlife. No mention anywhere there about service charges, even though Exceptional Service was an obvious opportunity.

I couldn't find a link on HAL's website to their FAQ, I had to use google to find it.

It's in six sections, one section is "shipboard life".

That section has seven links, one entitled Money Matters.

And that's where it is",

 

Er, how can he say that? ...Even having unearthed the thing and read it, along with much on the topic here on CC, the application of gratuities for the stateroom attendants and dining servers remains an poorly defined mess in my head.

 

First, I read that HAL has a "no tipping" policy:

Hurray!!! - I'm off the hook, for both the money and the tangle of trying to figure out who gets how much when, how, & why.

 

Then I read the HAL will be charging me almost half again the price of my ticket as an Onboard Service Charge:

Uh, okay. So I'm still on the hook for the money. But at least I know that the tips will be distributed fairly among all the service personnel, and I'm still off the hook for trying to figure out what to give whom.

 

But - I'm still expected to tip spa personnel, onshore tour guides and drivers, whoever brings food to the room, and to give the maitre'd in the dining room $7/person/day in an envelope at the end of the cruise. And while I'm not supposed to tip the cabin steward, I apparently also should tip him ($1 or $5 or $20 at the beginning, end, and/or middle of the cruise).

Ri-i-ight... I'm still on several of those hooks, aren't I?

 

I can only reference RCI, which is my experience, and on their webpage, while the FAQ's are listed under "Already Booked", anyone can access that at any time and read the policies.

With literally hundreds of pages on their website for an intending cruiser to sift through, a heading of "for booked guests" is an obvious opportunity to skip those pages until a late date, after they've booked.

 

On HAL, you can't access "Already Booked" from "Onboard" without a booking number. The only way I've found to get to the FAQ pre-booking is from an outside link, such as from CC or a google search.

 

Bearing in mind that there are plenty of newbies of all nationalities & cultures, and that cruise lines are very aware of how many of them have complained about not knowing about the charges before they booked, do please look at it from the point of view of those newbies.

Can you then justify your confidence in the transparency of the charges on the website?

 

Okay, leaveitall, here's where I'm tempted to assert that I am not such a dumb person as you might think (I went to college & got degrees & stuff! I am often successful in intellectual pursuits of non-trivial rigor! I can sometimes even balance my checking account!), and to rattle on about all the research I've put into trying to figure out just how much money I'm going to need to go on a fully-paid-for all-inclusive cruise.

 

But let's not bother with that: if you believe that at least one newbie (like, maybe, me) looked at the website, located the charges, and found them opaque; I might think you'd believe that not all the charges are completely transparent to all newbies.

 

The true fact is, I can only just barely afford this cruise. If I spend too much on board, I will be eating ramen noodles for a while after I get home. I'd like to be able to anticipate just how long that while might be.

My thanks to all who responded, and apologies if I've sounded defensive or whiny. I'm just doing my best, and I appreciate all your help.

[John Bull]

 

My thanks to all who responded, and apologies if I've sounded defensive or whiny. I'm just doing my best, and I appreciate all your help.

 

Life gets complicated, don't it ;)

 

Hopefully everyone will agree with this simple (errr..... simpler) précis of on-board tips/gratuities/service charges. This for your HAL ship, but also broadly similar for other US and Italian ships ........................... .

 

A mandatory 15% service charge on all drinks purchases, including wines.

This will be added to each tab before you sign it, bear it in mind when checking menu prices. The un-witting can get caught-out on the first round of drinks but learn pretty quickly.

This effectively provides the bulk of the wages for bar & wine stewards.

The tab also has a space for folk to add a further discretionary tip if they wish to - some do, some will give a cash tip to their favourite staff usually the end of the cruise, some - probably most - don't give extra. There is no need or expectation to give more than the 15% that's added to the tab.

 

A daily charge, usually called auto-tip, currently $12.50 per passenger per night (a little more on more-expensive cabin types, and a small increase for sailings after 1st May 2017). Different cruise lines have different policies on daily charges for children in the cabin - I gave up trying to find HAL's policy on service charges for children

Unless you choose to pre-pay, this will be added to your on-board account, and effectively provides the bulk of the wages for cabin stewards, waiters, and backroom hotel staff. It's actually not mandatory and can be adjusted or removed, but that's when life gets even more complicated so except in exceptional circumstances best to just leave that charge in place.

Some folk will also give a discretionary tip to a favoured steward or waiter, but there is no need or expectation. .

(you mentioned a recommended cash sum in an envelope to the maître D'. That's to do with how things were done in the years before auto-tipping & now irrelevant)

 

Those are the two significant matters regarding on-board tipping.

 

Amongst the more minor ones.........

- Some cruise lines charge a fee (you sign a tab) for room service, some don't - again, I couldn't find out HAL's policy. If there's no fee, it's normal but not mandatory to give the runner a cash tip of a few dollars.

- Some cruise lines add a service charge for other services such as spa treatments or hairdressers, some don't. I've never used any of those services so I don't know the protocol.

- If you have a big win at a casino table, it's normal to give some chips to the croupier. I've never had a big win, so I don't know the routine. But I have had plenty of losses, and can confirm that it doesn't work the other way round :D

- Tipping luggage porters depends on the local custom. I've never sailed out of a US port (where apparently a few dollars is the norm) so I've never tipped a porter for throwing my bags onto the conveyor.

 

If I got any of this wrong, I'm sure some kind soul will lambast me :D

 

BTW, no, never heard any more about that sailaway champagne, I suspect they're quite used to it. If they'd challenged me, I'd have happily given my name & cabin number - but not my signature.

Drinks & canapes handed out from trays at the captain's receptions have never been charged in my experience

 

JB :)

[failteromhat]

I have to say, I would also have similar questions! It is very difficult, IMO to try and compare like with like. Then there are so many offers: free on board credit, free drinks, free tips.

 

I didn't even know that there was a service charge as well as tips/gratuities!

 

My question would be more along the lines off- what costs extra. The cruise ships all tout " we have all this amazing stuff- ice rinks, shows, cocktail bars etc" and it's not always entirely clear what IS actually included in that.

 

my initial understanding was that "you paid your money, you gets your cruise" and that all was included. Then I started reading on here about On Board credits and so on, and I thought : Hang on, why would I need those? sure its all inclusive (unless I go for a massage or whatever, fair enough) - but it appears, only basic food and board are included, some entertainment and no drinks, certainly not alcohol.

 

I would love a comprehensive tick chart for each cruise company saying:

Included: Excluded:

 

Oh and while we are at it: a chart, similar to Seatguru for flights for all cabins aboard major cruise lines!! :-D

[cbr663]

But - I'm still expected to tip spa personnel, onshore tour guides and drivers, whoever brings food to the room, and to give the maitre'd in the dining room $7/person/day in an envelope at the end of the cruise. And while I'm not supposed to tip the cabin steward, I apparently also should tip him ($1 or $5 or $20 at the beginning, end, and/or middle of the cruise).

Ri-i-ight... I'm still on several of those hooks, aren't I?

 

Spa services on HAL have the tip automatically added to the charge. Some will expect more, but that is over-tipping which is not only not necessary, but I find offensive as it suggests great greed.

 

There is no need whatsoever to give the dining room maitre'd an envelope of cash at the end of the cruise. Again, this is over-tipping, and imo, over-tipping is encouraged way too much on this forum.

 

Room service is generally complimentary on HAL, but there are some items on the menu that are clearly identified as having additional charges. We do tip the room service person, but they never request a tip (as in extend their hand) and you have to be quick as they are out of your cabin in the blink of an eye.

 

And no, there is no need to leave your cabin steward an additional tip at the beginning or end of the cruise. Two people in a cabin are already paying approximately $7.50 per day in tips with the hotel service charge. Any more is again over-tipping. No, you are not on the hook.

 

BTW: Should you decide to visit any specialty dining restaurants while on your cruise, there is also no need to leave a tip. The servers are included in the hotel service charge.

 

On HAL, you can't access "Already Booked" from "Onboard" without a booking number. The only way I've found to get to the FAQ pre-booking is from an outside link, such as from CC or a google search.

You do not need a booking number to access the FAQs on HAL's website. Simply go to hollandamerica.com, select Already Booked and it will take you to a page with Frequently Asked Questions.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Life gets complicated, don't it ;)

 

Hopefully everyone will agree with this simple (errr..... simpler) précis of on-board tips/gratuities/service charges. This for your HAL ship, but also broadly similar for other US and Italian ships ........................... .

 

A mandatory 15% service charge on all drinks purchases, including wines.

This will be added to each tab before you sign it, bear it in mind when checking menu prices. The un-witting can get caught-out on the first round of drinks but learn pretty quickly.

This effectively provides the bulk of the wages for bar & wine stewards.

The tab also has a space for folk to add a further discretionary tip if they wish to - some do, some will give a cash tip to their favourite staff usually the end of the cruise, some - probably most - don't give extra. There is no need or expectation to give more than the 15% that's added to the tab.

 

A daily charge, usually called auto-tip, currently $12.50 per passenger per night (a little more on more-expensive cabin types, and a small increase for sailings after 1st May 2017). Different cruise lines have different policies on daily charges for children in the cabin - I gave up trying to find HAL's policy on service charges for children

Unless you choose to pre-pay, this will be added to your on-board account, and effectively provides the bulk of the wages for cabin stewards, waiters, and backroom hotel staff. It's actually not mandatory and can be adjusted or removed, but that's when life gets even more complicated so except in exceptional circumstances best to just leave that charge in place.

Some folk will also give a discretionary tip to a favoured steward or waiter, but there is no need or expectation. .

(you mentioned a recommended cash sum in an envelope to the maître D'. That's to do with how things were done in the years before auto-tipping & now irrelevant)

 

Those are the two significant matters regarding on-board tipping.

 

Amongst the more minor ones.........

- Some cruise lines charge a fee (you sign a tab) for room service, some don't - again, I couldn't find out HAL's policy. If there's no fee, it's normal but not mandatory to give the runner a cash tip of a few dollars.

- Some cruise lines add a service charge for other services such as spa treatments or hairdressers, some don't. I've never used any of those services so I don't know the protocol.

- If you have a big win at a casino table, it's normal to give some chips to the croupier. I've never had a big win, so I don't know the routine. But I have had plenty of losses, and can confirm that it doesn't work the other way round :D

- Tipping luggage porters depends on the local custom. I've never sailed out of a US port (where apparently a few dollars is the norm) so I've never tipped a porter for throwing my bags onto the conveyor.

 

If I got any of this wrong, I'm sure some kind soul will lambast me :D

 

BTW, no, never heard any more about that sailaway champagne, I suspect they're quite used to it. If they'd challenged me, I'd have happily given my name & cabin number - but not my signature.

Drinks & canapes handed out from trays at the captain's receptions have never been charged in my experience

 

JB :)

Thank you - that is extremely helpful.

 

And, yes, you are supposed to tip baggage porters in the US (except that the one time within memory that I packed more than I could easily carry myself, the porter at the Burbank, Ca Airport told me the Redcaps employed there weren't allowed to take tips). I definitely intend to pack more than I can carry for this cruise, mostly cases of Mom's beloved Coca-Cola; and am just hoping that when I ask the bank for a couple stacks of $1's they won't assume I'm headed for a strip joint. ;)

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Thank you - that clarifies things a lot.

 

You do not need a booking number to access the FAQs on HAL's website. Simply go to hollandamerica.com, select Already Booked and it will take you to a page with Frequently Asked Questions.

I stand corrected.

 

It is "Personalize Your Cruise" that can't be accessed without a booking number.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

I have to say, I would also have similar questions! It is very difficult, IMO to try and compare like with like. Then there are so many offers: free on board credit, free drinks, free tips.

 

I didn't even know that there was a service charge as well as tips/gratuities!

 

My question would be more along the lines off- what costs extra. The cruise ships all tout " we have all this amazing stuff- ice rinks, shows, cocktail bars etc" and it's not always entirely clear what IS actually included in that.

 

my initial understanding was that "you paid your money, you gets your cruise" and that all was included. Then I started reading on here about On Board credits and so on, and I thought : Hang on, why would I need those? sure its all inclusive (unless I go for a massage or whatever, fair enough) - but it appears, only basic food and board are included, some entertainment and no drinks, certainly not alcohol.

 

I would love a comprehensive tick chart for each cruise company saying:

Included: Excluded:

 

Oh and while we are at it: a chart, similar to Seatguru for flights for all cabins aboard major cruise lines!! :-D

Yeah, I figured, hey - I don't need manicures or massages, I don't need to go bear-watching from a float plane, and (don't shoot me) I'm not much of a drinker. I'll just lock my wallet in the room safe, live on free/complimentary steak and ice cream and cappuccino for a week, and be golden until they roll me off down the gangplank at the end of the cruise.

 

It turns out I was right about the steak. If they're serving it, and it's not in one of the of premium restaurants, it's mine to eat as much of as I desire.

 

The ice cream was a bit of a shock - if all my meals are included, and my meals include desserts, don't they include ice cream? But then through reading various "save money on your cruise" tips, I discovered that ice cream isn't free/complimentary, unless it is.

 

As near as I can figure, ice cream is complimentary if served in the MDR or Lido/Market/buffet* place, or if the ice cream is soft-serve; but not-soft-serve obtained outside the MDR or Lido/Market/buffet-place is a premium for which they will charge, unless they don't.

 

(*I can't remember whether it was the Market before and is the Lido now, or is the other way around. (And why are they calling it a "Market" when it's the place with the complimentary stuff? (And what the heck is a "lido," anyway?)))

 

The cappuccino, now that's a heart-breaker. "Everything but alcohol" is included, and coffee's non-alcoholic, and they have espresso drinks! I love my espresso drinks, and was on cloud nine for a few minutes there. But no, it's everything but alcoholic beverages and few other items such as premium ice cream ...and espresso drinks.

 

Unless the MDR or Lido Market happen to be serving espresso drinks.

 

[The following is a rant. Having to do with coffee. Read at your own risk.]

To make it worse, the brewed coffee in the MDR is said to be, er, somewhere between "unexceptional" and "warmed-over ditchwatcher." It's a Dutch line, fer cryin' out loud! I'll be on a ship registered to the country that developed Arabica coffee beans, being served by people from places like Sulawesi and Sumatra, and it'll be the same flat bitter Robusta-based crap-in-a-cup as from my local Texaco station!!!

 

Excuse me - I have to go cry now.

[End of Rant. And yes, I will be bring my own coffee, French press, and thermos for fetching hot water from the Lido/Market/Whatsitsplace.]

[cbr663]

You are clearly reading the wrong sources for HAL specific information. You would be better served reading the Holland America threads on this forum: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=171.

 

Here you will learn lots of tips about what is and isn't included in your cruise and will even learn of amenities that are not advertised but are available, like being able to order room service from the MDR menu.

 

FWIW: the only ice cream that is not complimentary on HAL is the gelato bar that is on K'dam only. You can eat to your hearts delight ice cream in the Lido Marketplace and the MDR. The Lido Marketplace has waffle cones, toppings and syrups for your ice cream also. I will often grab a banana from the fruit display and make myself a banana split, much to the envy of fellow passengers. :)

 

Also - the only true all inclusive cruise lines are the luxury lines.

[Cuizer2]

Leaveitall is quoted in blue, John Bull's repsonses to LIA are in red, and my responses to both are in purple:

 

My thanks to all who responded, and apologies if I've sounded defensive or whiny. I'm just doing my best, and I appreciate all your help.

 

Just remember, there is no charge to use the elevator to go up, but it cost 50¢ per deck to go down, unless you buy the unlimited elevator pass.

 

Also, bring plenty of quarters for the bathrooms (25¢ each to use the bathroom in your cabin, 50¢ each to use the public restrooms on the ship).

 

Towel animals are $1.50 each.

 

Pillow mints are 10¢ each.

 

Cold and warm water is free. Hot water is 10¢ per gallon.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Just remember, there is no charge to use the elevator to go up, but it cost 50¢ per deck to go down, unless you buy the unlimited elevator pass.

Gee whilikers, thanks, Mister! I didn't know about any of these!

 

Not sure I want to buy Unlimited Downward Travel on a boat...

Especially when there will probably be some people who would, quite free of charge, happily help me get as far as the deck level with Davy Jones' Locker.

 

(Just doing the math: 10 passenger decks @ $0.50/each = $5.00. In some of the seedier neighborhoods around here, someone going all the way down for a picture of Mr. Lincoln would be one heck of a bargain.)

 

Also, bring plenty of quarters for the bathrooms (25¢ each to use the bathroom in your cabin, 50¢ each to use the public restrooms on the ship).

Wow, they have bathrooms on board?! I figured we'd just have to climb out on the heads up at the bow. This cruise keeps getting better all the time.

 

Towel animals are $1.50 each.

There are towel animals???

Are they dangerous? Do they bite? Is one of us going to have to stay up all night keeping watch, like when we were nearly attacked by Drop Bears and Hoop Snakes in Australia?

 

Pillow mints are 10¢ each.

They'll mint me a brand new pillow every night?

Man, this is going to be some cruise!

 

Cold and warm water is free. Hot water is 10¢ per gallon.

Yeah, hmmm.... I guess I'll just have to bring a few plastic jugs full of boiling water from home.

 

Thanks again - I sure am learning some great stuff here. ;)

[MicCanberra]

To an experienced cruiser yes. To a newbie, not so much. As I said, the daily service charge is not as clearly made known as the cost of the cruise is. Also, what is actually a daily service charge is sometimes referred to as gratuities. Gratuities are optional. Service charges are not. It can be confusing to a newbie who was overwhelmed even before getting on the ship. Look at how many "dumb" questions newbies ask ...

 

 

 

Yes, have heard a few of these.;)

[Lanu]

I feel like I'm going to need a flowchart, or an app, or something.(Sailing HAL Oosterdam to Alaska, RT from Seattle May 7, 2017)

 

I am with you on this one! I like to be prepared for what it is going to cost me. I don't want to find out on the ship that there are extra charges.

 

I am very happy to have received a second monitor for my home computer as a Christmas gift so I can easily copy and paste items into my many spreadsheets

[MicCanberra]

Is one of us going to have to stay up all night keeping watch, like when we were nearly attacked by Drop Bears and Hoop Snakes in Australia?

 

 

You must have been some of the lucky ones that have lived to tell the tale. Usually there are no survivors and if there are, they are too traumatised to ever speak of the attack again.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

You must have been some of the lucky ones that have lived to tell the tale. Usually there are no survivors and if there are, they are too traumatised to ever speak of the attack again.

We only survived by hurling empty cider bottles towards the glimmer of cute button-brown koala eyes and the rustling sounds of snakes doing the hula. It was tough, emptying all those cider bottles in such a hurry, but it was all that saved us. ;)

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

I am with you on this one! I like to be prepared for what it is going to cost me. I don't want to find out on the ship that there are extra charges.

 

I am very happy to have received a second monitor for my home computer as a Christmas gift so I can easily copy and paste items into my many spreadsheets

Yes! That's what I need - a second monitor.

(And maybe a full-time forensic accountant who can see the future. :cool:)

[MicCanberra]

We only survived by hurling empty cider bottles towards the glimmer of cute button-brown koala eyes and the rustling sounds of snakes doing the hula. It was tough, emptying all those cider bottles in such a hurry, but it was all that saved us. ;)

 

Lucky you were so quick and saved yourselves. The seriousness of the situation obviously caused the cider to not intoxicate yourselves too much.:p

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Lucky you were so quick and saved yourselves. The seriousness of the situation obviously caused the cider to not intoxicate yourselves too much.:p

Intossificlated? Neffer. We weren't nearly as think as you drunk I was.

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

My question would be more along the lines off- what costs extra. The cruise ships all tout " we have all this amazing stuff- ice rinks, shows, cocktail bars etc" and it's not always entirely clear what IS actually included in that.

 

my initial understanding was that "you paid your money, you gets your cruise" and that all was included. Then I started reading on here about On Board credits and so on, and I thought : Hang on, why would I need those? sure its all inclusive (unless I go for a massage or whatever, fair enough) - but it appears, only basic food and board are included, some entertainment and no drinks, certainly not alcohol.

 

I would love a comprehensive tick chart for each cruise company saying:

Included: Excluded:

 

Oh and while we are at it: a chart, similar to Seatguru for flights for all cabins aboard major cruise lines!! :-D

Yes, we need tick charts. And we definitely need "CabinGuru."

 

And I guess what I was driving at by "stealth charges" were all these surprises that came in the form of "Hey! We can save you money on this thing that you thought was already paid for!"

 

Like soft drinks. As mentioned before, wording like "Meal plan does not include alcoholic beverages" led me to believe that it did include non-alcoholic beverages.

 

But then I read in the HAL FAQ (as discussed above, accessible without a booking number) that I can pay extra for this thing to save me money on soft drinks. But it doesn't say how much, or what soft drinks, or tell me whether "soft drinks" means "carbonated beverages" or "any potable liquid not containing alcohol."

 

To know whether I'm going to have to buy all my shipboard water by the ounce, I do need a booking number. Seriously, I was totally flipping out about this - bear in mind that I've just had one nasty surprise and have no good reason not to expect another.

 

In the unreassuring interval between irrevocably committing to the voyage and receiving a booking number, I came look at the CC board. There is a great deal of helpful information here, where there is much helpful information only a minor proportion of which is outdated or incorrect. There are even some panic-inducing-under-the-circumstances items about one's own bottled water being banned. (Not my cruise line, no, but I was already flipped out and not processing information as well as I might.)

 

[Another Rant - this time bigger, badder, longer, whinier and more personal than my previous rant]

It's getting to where I'm afraid to look into things further for fear of yet another rude surprise. What I read before signing on said that there was an art gallery with works from the National Museum of the Netherlands, knowledgable lecturers on the history and natural history of each port of call, and a well-appointed shipboard library. (Yes, I'm an egg-headed intellectual snob. But if I'm spending all my non-deck-gazing time in the art gallery, the lecture hall, and the library; I'm not likely to bother you normal people all that much.)

 

With all that, plus the promise of elegant & sophisticated onboard dining and exceptional service, I'd have been a fool not to sign on... right?

 

Now that I have time to look up the specifics, all I can find under "Art" is a giant gilt-&-crystal globe, the shore-excursion touts giving the lectures probably remember less from their readings of the relevant Wikipedia articles than I do from mine, and the librarians are being phased out of their jobs reshelving all the jigsaw puzzles. (Sorry about that, normal people. If you're lucky, maybe you'll never know what hit ya.)

 

Not that there's anything wrong with giant crystal globes, shore excursion publicity, or jigsaw puzzles - they're just not what I was promised. I'm also seeing reviews that imply that the dining is a lot like what I might get at my local all-you-can-eat family buffet, and the service may not exceed that of a Holiday Inn Express.

 

Yes, I made a hasty commitment - I was told about the possibility of this cruise on a Monday, and my decision was needed on Thursday. I also didn't know that I only had 72 hours to make the decision until only 24 of them were left (see references to"family cruise" and "strain on already less-than-robust relationships" above). But I did a fair amount of research in that time, and I'm not usually so bad at the research thing (see references to "eggheaded" above). At least not unless I'm being deliberately misled and/or sold a bill of goods.

 

[Okay. Rant Over. See you on the cruise - I'll be the one sketching the giant crystal globe.]

[MicCanberra]

Intossificlated? Neffer. We weren't nearly as think as you drunk I was.

 

Lucky you didn't run into a Occifer of the raw.:p

[John Bull]

.

// .......................... What I read before signing on said that there was an art gallery with works from the National Museum of the Netherlands, knowledgable lecturers on the history and natural history of each port of call, and a well-appointed shipboard library. (Yes, I'm an egg-headed intellectual snob. But if I'm spending all my non-deck-gazing time in the art gallery, the lecture hall, and the library; I'm not likely to bother you normal people all that much.)

................................................//

 

Can I suggest, folks, that we all avoid mentioning the "art auctions" on cruise ships;)

We don't want to send the OP's rant-meter into overdrive :D

 

On the other hand, they are an opportunity to take advantage of some genuinely free drinks :)

 

JB :)

[TheAccidentalCruiser]

Can I suggest, folks, that we all avoid mentioning the "art auctions"

Oh! I think I know this one -

That's the drinking game, right, where you get to drink as much as possible for free while sitting absolutely still and not moving your lips? And if you screw up and get caught you have to pay an extremely stiff monetary penalty, plus you get sent home with a paint-stained piece of someone's old drop cloth?