Let FREEDOM ring! A picture review of our 2/25/17 cruise!

[watermelonqueen99]

You are so funny.

 

 

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Thank you, and thanks for reading!

[watermelonqueen99]

I'll be on her the 25th loving your review

 

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Thanks for reading, and have a fabulous cruise! :D

[watermelonqueen99]

I'm truly enjoying this review! I am SO glad I found it. We were debating between Breeze and Freedom - leaning toward Freedom because of the itinerary. We've done the one of the Breeze SO many times and were looking for something new. I LOVE your sense of humor! Similar to mine. And t-shirts are my life!

 

I'm so glad you're enjoying it! We were booked on the Breeze for this coming August, but we've done all of her available itineraries at least once, although we still want to sail on her at some point. We went out of Florida last year and the itinerary was absolutely amazing, so we decided to do that one again later in the year. But the Freedom is a great ship! And *cheers* to all of us with a little more unconventional sense of humor! :D

[watermelonqueen99]

Finally a review with my sense of humor. Can't wait to read the rest. You're my new idol!!!

 

 

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Lol! Thank you for reading! I was a little apprehensive about being "myself" in this review, but I know personally I really enjoy reading the humorous ones. So I placed all of my effs I was trying to give in the trash can, and went ahead with it. :D:D:D

[watermelonqueen99]

When I left off, I had just finished giving you a tour of our cabin. I assume everyone's heart rate and blood pressure have returned to a normal level by now from all that excitement, so it's time to resume.

 

By now, they had made the announcement that makes me curl up in a fetal position, ugly cry, and start sucking my thumb: bar service would soon be temporarily suspended. That's right, folks, it was about time for everyone's* favorite part of any cruise: Muster.

 

(*Disclaimer: Literally nobody's favorite part. Ever.)

Let me just say that I'm a very happy, laid-back, easy-going chick. I try to make the best of every situation. I like to think that there isn't much in life that I "hate." There are some things that I strongly dislike. Justin Bieber songs. Spanx. Childproof lids. Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on my door. But I. Hate. Muster. Well, let me rephrase that a little. I hate Muster when it's held outside. Muster on the Dream class ships is fine, because it's held inside. Our Muster stations have always been in the MDR on a Dream class. It's cool, it's comfortable, and you get to sit. Also, I met my future self at Muster on the Magic a couple years ago. She reminded me so much of my idol, (everyone's idol in my mind) Granny Klump. Just with poofier (Again, spell check, have every seat. Poofier is a word.) hair. Sassy. Perverted. No effs to give. They had just made the announcement for everyone to head to their Muster stations and asked that we please DO NOT bring any food or drinks. We found us a seat, and here strolls in Granny Klump 2.0 carrying a big bag of Lay's chips. Her and her granddaughter asked if they could sit with us, and we said of course. They got settled, and Granny Klump 2.0 opened up her bag of chips and started chowing. Her granddaughter tried to scold her by reminding her that they said no food or drinks. Granny threw the most epic shade I've ever witnessed at this girl, and informed her that she was hungry and she was gonna eat her d*mn chips. I had found my spirit grandma.

 

Anyway, I digress. We headed to our Muster station, Deck 3 Starboard. We were led to our place in line and our Sail and Sign cards were scanned. And we waited. And we waited. And we waited. They were calling out for people who were clearly not there and were not coming. We waited some more. We were hot, cramped, and packed in like sardines. A lady a couple rows behind us started having an asthma attack and had to be taken inside. And still we waited some more. FINALLY they started the drill. Thankfully it was over quite quickly, and we were dismissed. But not before they came on to announce that every a^%&$%e who had decided they were above the rules and skipped Muster would be required to attend an alternative drill. Because they had held us up for so long, I fantasized that these passengers would be tied up, forced to watch John Heald do a striptease, and then be ordered to walk the plank. By the time we were finally released, everyone's nerves were shot and 90% of the passengers headed to a bar. (I just made up that statistic.)

 

We headed up to a higher deck for sail-away. The Valor had a little bit of a head start on us, and they were already heading out:

 

 

Their deck party was ROCKING! We could hear that the DJ was playing some Pitbull, whom I just happen to be a HUGE fan of. I briefly considered boosting one of the lifeboats, making my way over to the Valor, scaling the ship, partying with them on Lido, then meeting up with the Freedom in Cozumel. But I quickly decided that I was much too lazy for that and abandoned the idea. Finally it was our turn to go and we were on the move. Eventually, we decided to head back to our room to see if our luggage had arrived, and it had. We unpacked most of our stuff. Usually, we dress up every night on a cruise, but we just weren't feeling it. We decided we would just bar hop that evening, and try to find "our spot" and make some new friends. We bounced between the atrium (lobby) bar, Alchemy, casino bar, piano bar, karaoke, and the nightclub. Again, we just weren't "feeling it." I know that a lot of it was the fact that you can't use Cheers on night 1 out of Galveston. Perhaps this is a sign that we should find the nearest AA meeting, but that's a huge turn off for us. When we cruise, we like to party and have a good time. But when you know that every time you order a drink, you're dropping $10 and taking money away from your kid's college fund, it just puts a damper on everything. We pretty much decided that night that this would be our last time to cruise out of Galveston. We mourned by ordering another drink.

 

We ended up going back to our room around midnight, which is quite early for us on a cruise. We came back to discover that our complimentary bottles of water, Gold member pins, and drink coupons had been delivered. We had left a note and extra tip earlier in the day requesting that our room steward(ess) fill our ice bucket every night, and she had. I apologize for the lack of pictures in this post, my phone had died shortly after sail-away. I will make a sacrifice* to the review gods later to repent.

 

(*Translation: I'll take 2 shots of straight vodka.)

 

To be continued.........

[BeachBumesq.]

 

Thanks for this riveting review! I love Pitbull; his music is the soundtrack to epic parties & vacations across the world! I'd forgotten about the darn Muster drill though *shakes fist*

[Meadet]

Really witty review, got me hooked 🙌😄

[DebJ14]

Great review! We are heading back on the Freedom for the 3rd time next month. Do you happen to remember who the Senior Maitre'D is?

[watermelonqueen99]

 

Thanks for this riveting review! I love Pitbull; his music is the soundtrack to epic parties & vacations across the world! I'd forgotten about the darn Muster drill though *shakes fist*

 

You're welcome, thanks for reading it! And yes, Pitbull music can turn any situation into a party! Sorry for reminding you about Muster. It's so horrific that your mind must have permanently deleted the memory! ;p

[watermelonqueen99]

Really witty review, got me hooked 🙌😄

 

Thanks for reading!

[watermelonqueen99]

Great review! We are heading back on the Freedom for the 3rd time next month. Do you happen to remember who the Senior Maitre'D is?

 

Thank you, and have a great cruise! Sorry, I don't know who the Senior Maitre'D was, as we don't eat in the MDR. :)

Edited March 19, 2017 by watermelonqueen99

[Jamman54]

Really enjoying your review. Love your style!!! :D The Freedom is one ship we have yet to sail on, so we'll have to do something about that!

[atj1971]

Super excited to watch this review progress.

Don't feel guilty about taking that 10.00 from the college fund, blame the kids for not getting 110% on every test they take to earn a full academic ride to college. ;-) They could help their Momma out a little bit here. I mean, you DID teach them how to eat and change those diapers!! lol

Great sense of humor. Until the next chapter...

[watermelonqueen99]

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

After a somewhat mediocre and disappointing previous night, we awoke to some fairly rough seas. We were super excited for today because this day would be better than Christmas, our birthdays, our wedding day, and the day our children were born COMBINED. Why? Because it was the day that the Cheers package went into effect. We got dressed as quickly as possible and headed to the casino bar. We had to trip a few elderly ladies along the way because they were just moving too slow, but I'm sure they recovered by the end of the cruise. We finally made it to the bar. Oh, what a beautiful sight that little sticker is. Makes a girl tear up:

 

 

Side note: I took this picture at the end of the cruise, so the sticker is looking a little rough. Kinda like me on debark day: faded, missing some hyde, and rough around the edges.

 

After we got our stickers and made the very adult and responsible (not at all) decision to order a drink at 9:00 am, we headed up to Lido for some breakfast. We decided to get a breakfast burrito from Blue Iguana. No pic, because I was starving and tore into that burrito like a tornado in a trailer park. (I'm from Oklahoma, so I'm allowed to joke about both tornadoes and trailer parks.)

 

Little disclaimer here: these pics were actually taken on our first port day, but I'm gonna present you with an "alternative fact" (thank you AGAIN Kellyanne, you truly are the gift that keeps on giving) and say that they were taken on day 2, because they fit better here chronologically. I apologize in advance that most of these pics are of deck 5, because that's where our favorite bar was. And if we wandered too far away, we started to get separation anxiety. Looking down onto the Atrium (Lobby) from deck 5:

 

 

Let's take a look at some of the shops. Here's where you can get the Diabeetus (or "The Sugars" as my late granny called it) by buying and gorging on candy that you can get for a fraction of the cost on land:

 

 

Here is the "Cruise Memories" shop where you can get t-shirts, key chains, and magnets that while they say "Cozumel" actually come to you straight from China. 'Muricans...we'll buy anything:

 

 

The "Fun Shops." Has anyhoe (typo and it stays) ever had "fun" in one of these shops? Every time I go in one, there are 854 other people in there, the price tags will give you a panic attack, and the clerks always act like they'd rather be waterboarded than wait on you. Carnival should rename these stores "Give Me Your Da*n Money:

 

 

Let's zoom in a little here. At first, I looked at this and threw almost as much shade as Granny Klump 2.0 threw at her granddaughter in my earlier post. I was like, "who in the eff would spend $250 on 6 bottles of booze?" Then my inner voice was like, "b*&%h, ya'll just dropped $700 on the Cheers package and you're judging this"??? Touche, inner voice, touche:

 

 

To be continued.....

[watermelonqueen99]

Really enjoying your review. Love your style!!! :D The Freedom is one ship we have yet to sail on, so we'll have to do something about that!

 

Yay, the CC celebrity Jamman54 is reading my review, I feel special! Lol The Freedom is a great ship, you should definitely give her a go!

[watermelonqueen99]

Super excited to watch this review progress.

Don't feel guilty about taking that 10.00 from the college fund, blame the kids for not getting 110% on every test they take to earn a full academic ride to college. ;-) They could help their Momma out a little bit here. I mean, you DID teach them how to eat and change those diapers!! lol

Great sense of humor. Until the next chapter...

 

Lol, I like the way you think! Thanks for reading! :D

[Thrilled2012]

Yay, the CC celebrity Jamman54 is reading my review, I feel special! Lol The Freedom is a great ship, you should definitely give her a go!

 

Ha, I was actually thinking of Jamman when I was reading about your spectacular decision to order a 9am adult beverage. I was thinking...sheesh, she thinks that's early?? Apparently she isn't reading Jamman's current review (beer on a 6am flight, beer with breakfast burrito). Ya'll are my kinda peeps!

 

Still loving this review :D

[watermelonqueen99]

Ha, I was actually thinking of Jamman when I was reading about your spectacular decision to order a 9am adult beverage. I was thinking...sheesh, she thinks that's early?? Apparently she isn't reading Jamman's current review (beer on a 6am flight, beer with breakfast burrito). Ya'll are my kinda peeps!

 

Still loving this review :D

 

Lol! Thanks for sticking around! :D

[Meadet]

Loving this review, can't wait for more!!

[watermelonqueen99]

You can unclutch your Rosary beads, blow out your candles, and stop praying to the Velvet Jesus that hangs above your couch because I'm back. For the thousands of you (translation: zero of you) that were fervently pacing the floor wondering what happened to me and why I hadn't posted yesterday (Did some big time book publisher stumble upon her review, offer her millions to write books for them and now she's sitting in her new mansion, sipping vodka and Diet Coke out of a diamond-crusted solo cup? Did she find out that Obama had wiretapped her home and was spying on her through her microwave and she set out to bring him down? Did all those Guy's Burgers and martinis from the cruise catch up with her and she keeled over?) let me set your mind at ease. I'm unharmed and ready to continue. When I left off, we were doing some shopping on the Promenade, so let's continue. For the 4 people on Earth who still wear a watch, you can shop for a new one to your heart's content here:

 

 

Let me preface this next photo a little. I like to think I'm a good mix of "tomboy" and girly girl. I love to get sweaty in the gym, I love the outdoors, I love adventure. But I also love shopping, clothes, cute jewelry, and shoes that at the end of the night when I take them off, I'm questioning my life choices and considering a trip to the Podiatrist the next day. But I just don't get expensive handbags. Like, what in the world are you carrying in your bag that justifies spending $300? I just glanced into the "Orlando" crossbody bag that is my "purse." Here's what I found: a pen that had completely come apart, a card with my next Botox appointment written on it, a Cheez-It (W*F?), some Tylenol that expired in 2015, some lip gloss and 795 Wal-Mart receipts. I can't imagine carrying around anything that I felt needed to be placed in a bag that costs as much as 6 days of the Cheers program. (Yes, that's how I gauge expenses, by comparing them to how many days of Cheers they would buy. I should look into a new career as a Financial Planner ASAP.) But anyway, if you feel like your s*it needs a designer home to be toted around in, you can certainly find one here:

 

 

If you'd rather drink than see how much money your better half is spending in the shops, good news. The Skybox Sports Bar is located right next to the Fun Shops. (Well played, Carnival, well played.) We aren't really fans of watching sweaty men toss their balls around (at least not in this way), so we didn't go in here. But if you're interested, here's the entrance:

 

 

After you've spent an obscene amount of money on souvenirs that will be sold in a yard sale in 2 years, then collected your partner from the bar where they racked up a large tab, but you want to continue to make poor financial decisions, then follow me to the casino in these next few pics:

 

 

C saves up his quarters between cruises just so he can play this game where you spend $100.00 to win 4 bucks:

 

 

One last casino pic before we continue our tour of deck 5:

 

 

To be continued....

[watermelonqueen99]

Loving this review, can't wait for more!!

 

Thanks for reading!

[rs45thompson]

That's it? You really are teasing us now!😨😱

[MomofTheBoy]

Thats it for today? Like in real life? So will asking you to take a leave of absence from work until you finish this review be a bit too much? Asking for a friend.

 

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[watermelonqueen99]

That's it? You really are teasing us now!😨😱

 

What can I say, I'm a tease! :D Stay tuned!

[watermelonqueen99]

Thats it for today? Like in real life? So will asking you to take a leave of absence from work until you finish this review be a bit too much? Asking for a friend.

 

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Tell your friend that I'm trying to go on temporary disability to finish this review....