An EPIC Cruise Review From A Carnival Cruiser

[jam19872016]

Most of the forward areas of 16 and 17 are the Haven. I could not take a proper tour of this area but while on 18 I noticed some gaps in the wall. I also noticed in between these gaps was a view of the Haven. So like a true stalker paparazzi, I grabbed a lounger to stand on and took a few pictures for research purposes.

 

 

 

This was as close as I could get to the Posh Club.

 

 

I peeked around outside the Haven areas just to see what I could see. The Haven lounge located on 16 in between those towers you saw earlier from 15.

 

 

I noticed that someone had left the door open into the Haven Courtyard.

 

 

I did not push my luck. I was a good little 2nd class passenger and did not sneak into the Haven - even for research purposes.

 

And that concludes the tour of the Norwegian Epic. Next up is Sea Day 1.

[KatEnz]

Thanks for the tour. We'll be on the Epic in October. =)

[jam19872016]

Thanks for the tour. We'll be on the Epic in October. =)

 

You're welcome. Have a great cruise :cool:

[jam19872016]

Day 2: Sea Day

 

First let me say how much I LOVE the beds. I was a bit concerned after reading how small they are. They are by no means luxurious but they are definitely larger than the beds on Carnival. I appreciated that I had the opportunity to turn over in bed. On Carnival, turning over means you go on the floor.

 

But, what is up with the bright display on the telephone? I played around with it and thought I figured out how to turn off the light but each time after five minutes, the light would come back on. I read the instructions the next day, and I was doing it right but the light would not stay off. I covered it with a wash rag. Still too bright. So I also covered it with the beach towel and that did the trick. My mom insisted on being able to tell the time at night so that was a one night solution and I did have to deal with it the rest of the trip. Not sure why you would want to know what time it is, not knowing allows me to sleep in but she was pretty adamant so I let her have this one.

 

My mother is an early riser, like 3am early. Of course she slept in later than that on vacation, but she was still up way way before me. On past cruises, when she gets up she goes to the library until it is I get up. For some reason she did not do that today and stayed in the room. Not conductive to me sleeping.

 

So I got up but not being very well rested, I did not do a lot today. I love lazy sea days but today was perhaps a little too lazy and bordering on "boring". Totally my own fault (and my mom's) not the ship's fault. There were plenty of activities to do, I just didn't participate in them.

 

In the category of it is the ship's fault - I will not be complaining anymore about Carnival's lousy TV selection. Outside of NCL produced channels, there was nothing but news and one channel that played random TV shows at random times.

 

The first task of the day was breakfast. I struggled a bit with breakfast this week. As much as I love food and love eating, I am not a breakfast person. NCL had all the normal staple breakfast items available, and everything tasted ok. I am just not a breakfast person.

 

On the plus side, the buffet for the rest of the trip was never the zoo it was yesterday and whenever a line started to get long, there would be someone to direct people to another buffet that was identical. That was a pretty nice touch and did a great job at keeping crowds from forming.

 

There were a couple things that could be improved upon, that Carnival also misses the mark on. The first seems so obvious that there has to be something I am not thinking of that causes both lines to not do this. Why is the salad bar at the start of the line? It takes people time to prepare their salad, and that slows things down. Why not put it at the end, so that only people who want a salad have to come to a stop in the line? NCL also did this with their pancake/waffle/french toast station. Maybe Carnival does too, but I don't usually utilize the buffet at breakfast on Carnival.

 

The other is probably just me, because I'm not a breakfast person. Breakfast is served until noon and lunch does not begin until noon. O'sheehans does start at 11:30, but by the time you are served it will still be noon. I would love to find a place for lunch at 11 as I am usually starving from eating so light at breakfast. That and you know, I love food.

[jam19872016]

The one thing I did make sure to put on the agenda for today was the slot tournament. The first time I entered one of these I went all the way and won $500. Since then, I am sure I have spent close to that $500 trying to win again. I tend to not only not win, but come in dead last by an embarrassing margin. I did a little better today - placing 2nd.

 

 

Not good enough of course, since only the top score moved onto the finals. I think I have convinced myself to quit trying. Maybe.

 

For lunch today we went to taste. I guess I must have forgotten my camera as there's no photo evidence to support this claim - but I was there I promise lol.

 

I had the potato skins which were good. The cajun grouper sandwich was fantastic. I don't care for all that salt so I peeled the top layer of the bun off and it was perfect! My biggest food regret of this cruise was not ordering this again. Yummy. Dessert was the key lime parfait. I would not order that again.

 

After lunch I walked around the shops with mom some. That is her favorite activity - shopping. She didn't buy anything today but would buy several items later in the cruise. Other than that it was a lazy day that included some more casino time. I got another 4 of a kind this afternoon.

 

 

I would like to say that meant I was doing good again today. Alas, lady luck was not to be on my side this trip.

[jam19872016]

For my free at sea perk, I choose the dining plan. This came with three free specialty dinners just pay the gratuities which came out to $12.42 per person, or just over $4 per meal. The price may very well be worked into the cruise fare, but since I paid nothing (almost) this was a great bargain for me!

 

Tonight we would be using our first dinner credit at Moderno Churrascaria. This was not on my top3 just because of the reviews I had read. It was on my mom's and our other two matched, so I dropped Cagney's for Moderno and hoped for the best. Great choice, this was the best meal overall of the week!

 

I don't usually eat bread, but I tried the bread they served and OMG it was probably the best bread I've ever eaten. Not a lot of competition since I don't eat bread but this was o so very very good. Also very very good was the mashed potatoes that came as a side. I could have made a meal of just those, but that would be silly when all that meat is waiting.

 

We skipped the salad bar - because please just feed us meat already :D

 

Then there was the meat. I was a little confused on the concept having only read about it here. I thought you ordered what you wanted and they would just keep bringing that until you turned over your card. Nope, they bring EVERYTHING! I was in heaven. I ate so much meat I will confess I felt nauseous afterwards. In a good way though.

 

Most everything was very very good. My favorites were the bacon-wrapped filet mignon and the parmesan crusted pork loin. The only thing I did not care for was the flank steak. I literally could not eat it it was so tough.

 

Dessert is not their strong suit. I had the chocolate coconut tres leche cake.

 

 

This was ok, but I have had far far better.

 

I believe my mom ordered the papaya cream.

 

 

It was nothing special.

 

Overall this was a fabulous meal. Best meal of the week. If you have the dining package, I feel like this is a must especially if you have never tried the concept. The concept in itself is a treat. If you don't have the dining package, I would still say try it at least once and then decide if you feel it is a good value for the upcharge. It does seem a bit steep when you have already paid for a meal in the MDR, but it is certainly worth trying once.

[jam19872016]

Tonight's dinner menu in the MDR.

 

 

 

 

After dinner I was not feeling well. I had eaten way too much plus I was exhausted from not sleeping much the night before. I contemplated taking a nap, but it was late enough that a nap would have likely turned into an early night in bed. In the end I powered through since playing a slot machine doesn't take much energy anyway :D

 

My luck in the casino had taken a turn for the worse and this was pretty much the story of my life for most of the remainder of the week.

 

After I got done donating in the casino I turned in for the night with another sea day ahead of me tomorrow.

[jam19872016]

Day 3: Sea Day

 

We set the clocks back an hour tonight. This was interesting, I am used to staying on ship time not changing to match the local time zone.

 

As I mentioned earlier, by the third day I was starting to settle in a bit more and get more adjusted to the Epic.

 

I also slept in a little bit longer since my mom did the courteous thing and vacated the room. I was still up way too early, a byproduct of not being a night owl this cruise. I went to Taste for breakfast this morning and ordered an omelette with a side of hash browns. YUM! Their hash browns were fantastic and I made sure I grabbed a few at breakfast each morning after this.

 

After breakfast I got an early start in the casino and finally found my favorite game open - Dragon Orb (I don't know if that is the "official" name for it) I played for a bit and hit 8 bonuses (need 5 to trigger a bonus, and i'd never seen more than 6).

 

 

Maybe I was being greedy, but I kinda expected a huge win off that. Final win was a little over $100. A little later on this same game, I triggered a bonus while already in a bonus and my win was still only around $100. By the end of the week, this was no longer my favorite game, moved Quick Hits up to the top although it really wasn't any kinder to me this week.

[jam19872016]

For lunch we went back to Taste. I started with the yummy chicken nachos.

 

 

I followed it with the shrimp arrabiata.

 

 

My picture just does not do this dish justice, it looks pale and bland. But it was my favorite dining room dish of the week! At lunch no less. We'd both noticed that items listed as spicy were not the least bit so, not the case this time. Be prepared, this dish packs a punch. A wonderful, flavorful punch. My mom couldn't finish hers so I devoured it also. The only thing to make it better - get rid of those olives. I picked them out of mine. A very enjoyable find full of seasonings from a kitchen that seemed reluctant to use anything other than salt.

 

For dessert I had the orange chocolate mousse and the peanut butter cheesecake.

 

 

 

Back in the room we had our first towel friend of the week.

 

 

The rest of the afternoon was spent being lazy. I watched a bit of TV when they would occasionally have something on. I alternated between that and walking the outside decks. I'm not really a sun person, but I do enjoy catching a little fresh air.

[jam19872016]

We made our way to dinner around 7pm. Very impressive that this would be prime time for dining on Carnival and you are likely to encontour a small wait at YTD. No such wait and we were seated in the middle of the dining room. This was when I realized why the dining room was so noisy the other night with an almost empty room - the opening was allowing the sounds from the upper decks to travel. I got to listen to the slot tournament going on upstairs during my meal tonight.

 

Tonight's menu.

 

 

 

For my starter I ordered the egg roll and the duck pate.

 

 

 

The egg roll was ok, but nothing special.

 

The duck pate was better than I expected having never eaten pate. But the real winner is the pickles served with it. I could not remember what I had them with just it was something at dinner. I thought it was the slider, but when I ordered it again it was not there. I figured I would find it when I went through my pictures. I would order it again just for the pickles, in fact I will ask if I can have a whole bowl of them to take with me. Yum yum yummy!

[jam19872016]

For my main I ordered the pasta carbonara.

 

 

To be fair, this is my hands down favorite dish on Carnival. So it would not be fair to compare. But I'm going to anyway. This was nowhere near as good. It wasn't bad but it was literally swimming in the sauce and this is from someone who loves extra sauce on his noodles. I would probably not get this again, save it for Carnival who makes the BEST carbonara ever.

 

Dessert menu.

 

 

I ordered the tiramisu.

 

 

Sigh. I want to like the food, I really do. But this was not very good. I have NEVER had a tiramisu that I didn't think was the best dessert ever. Seriously, that and cheesecake are two things I always love. But this was not good.

 

Dinner tonight was overall ok. Not great, but not bad just a bit underwhelming. Service continued to be very efficient and we were in and out in under 50 minutes.

[jam19872016]

After dinner there was another towel friend in the room.

 

 

It was a bit odd that over the course of 7 days we got three towel animals, and two of them on the same day.

 

After dinner I went back to the casino. Today was an overall good day for me and the luck continued into the night.

 

Another 4 of a kind.

 

 

I played for a little while and then retired early again for the evening. Tomorrow we would be in Falmouth.

[jam19872016]

Day 4: Falmouth

 

I have been to Jamaica on two previous occasions. Both trips were to Ocho Rios. The first was unmemorable other than how rude and aggressive the locals were. My second time there was on my last cruise on the Vista. It was an adventure to say the least. I enjoyed it because it was a great story to tell, but once is enough. I seriously have no desire to ever return to Ocho Rios, ever.

 

I was not looking forward to today because it was still Jamaica. My mom has this image of this beautiful tropical paradise that you see in brochures and Ocho Rios is indeed stunning. But the people ruin it. I tried to warn my mom about how aggressive the people were here without turning her off completely.

 

It turns out, it was not a problem. The people here were no more aggressive than your typical Caribbean island. It was nothing at all like in Ocho Rios. We didn't leave the port area and I am sure if we had, we would have likely encountered authentic Jamaican "hospitality" but inside our tourist bubble, there was none of that. No such bubble exists in Ocho Rios.

 

I didn't get any pictures because honestly, there was nothing picture worthy. It was your typical port shopping complex but on steroids. It worked out great for my mom, but I can see how for most people who want to get out and experience something, this port is a dud. As I understand it, even if you do reach the end of the shopping complex, there is still not really anything to see and most excursions still take you to Ocho Rios.

 

This was a shopping day for my mom and we walked around most of the stores and she bought a few things here and there. It wasn't the most exciting thing ever, but I know she was glad to have a day in port to shake things up a bit.

[jam19872016]

Back on board we went to the Garden Cafe for lunch. After that I went on my ship tour and got most of the inside locations. I waited on the outside decks because by then it was getting too crowded as more people were returning to the ship.

 

Tonight's MDR menu.

 

 

 

[jam19872016]

Tonight we dined at La Cucina with our dining plan. I try to find the positive in things. Even in this review where I am writing a lot of negative, I try to remember something I liked and write about it as well. While some meals were not up to par with my pretty low expectations (I truly am easy to please), I really only had one "bad" meal this week. That was my night at La Cucina.

 

Another reason I try to throw in some good things is nobody likes reading nothing but complaints. I really can't think of anything good to say about La Cucina and to get my point across about how horrible it was, I will be a bit dramatic in my recall of the night, so if you find yourself sick of my whining please feel free to skip ahead. There is not enough cheese in the world to pair with the amount of whine ahead :)

 

To sum it up for those skipping ahead, don't waste your time here. Even if you have the dining plan and nothing else looks good to you - don't bother with this place.

 

Things started off a bit rocky but were quickly recovered with a genuine apology and explanation. They had no record of our reservation. I was a bit worried because I had no record either except in my email which I had no access to at this point. When I pulled up my reservations on the TV in the room, I could see my show reservation and I could see my excursion. But I could not see my dining reservations. When I showed up at Moderno with no problem, I figured all was ok. So now I was worried again.

 

Someone else came up and pulled out some book and found my reservation. She explained they were having some problems with their computer reservation system and some reservations were not showing up but were on her printout. No big deal and this was truly a case of stuff happens. But it was all down hill from here.

 

Service was not really a problem. It was not "great" service like you typically find in a specialty restaurant, but it was adequate.

 

The food. Wow.

 

Lets start with the menu.

 

 

 

 

 

I had a nice view of the ocean ahead of me.

 

[jam19872016]

I ordered the lasagne al forno.

 

 

This was not very good. It had no real flavor and could best be compared to high school cafeteria food quality. The top was badly burnt to the point of being nearly inedible.

 

Mozzarella di bufala caprese.

 

 

I ordered this because nothing else really sounded interesting. I'll be honest, I didn't know what I was ordering and when they set this in front of me I thought I messed up. It was actually quite good and a bright spot on the meal.

 

My mom ordered the Gnocchi and let me try a bite.

 

 

It wasn't as bad as it looked. It was way way worse. Gross.

 

For my meal I ordered the osso bucco.

 

 

I've never had osso bucco before and so I may just not like it. It was bad enough that I will probably never be willing to try it again to find out. The risotto that it was served with was a pile of mush. It had no flavor except mushy nastiness in my mouth.

 

I also had a side of mashed potatoes. I can say without a doubt, these were the absolute worst mashed potatoes I have eaten in my entire life. The ones that come in the $1 banquet TV dinners taste better than this. I would be ashamed to serve these, and to charge $2 for them on top of a cruise fare? For shame NCL, for shame!

 

To add insult to injury, I also wanted a side of asparagus with my meal and was informed that I could only order one side and anything additional would have a fee. I know from reading these boards that that is not true, but I was not going to quibble over it. I won't make that mistake again. I will absolutely order what I want in the future and dispute it if I do in fact get charged. I know that she was just saying what she was told to say, but that is really cheap for NCL to instruct them to lie to us to save a few bucks. Just change the terms of the dining package. The one good thing that came out of it was I ordered that yummy cheese dish just to order everything she said I could order.

[jam19872016]

Dessert menu.

 

 

I ordered the torta di cioccolata e lamponi.

 

 

This was good, but not really any better to me than the desserts available at non specialty restaurants.

 

In summary, the food was terrible. Overall the worst meal I've eaten on a cruise ship. I would say for sure skip this even with the dining plan. The cost of this meal if I hadn't had the dining plan, $64. I would never dream of paying that much for this low quality meal on land. To charge that much on top of a cruise fare that paid for a meal in the MDR or buffet is absurd and honestly a bit of a turn off. There was nothing here that cost any more to produce than items found at the buffet or the dining room. This was a pure money grab. Please don't fall for it.

 

The service was adequate.

 

When leaving, the host showed us the secret door to get out without having to climb the stairs. That was a nice touch as my mom was struggling a bit coming down and going up was going to be a challenge for her.

 

We are cruising again on my Mom's birthday and I have made reservations for her birthday at Carnival's specialty Italian place. I have never been and it also gets mixed reviews, so I am a bit unsure now and am considering taking her to the steakhouse instead. It will only be $30 total so I won't be out a lot of money, but I would not want her birthday dinner to be as unremarkable as this.

 

After dinner the remainder of my night was spent in the casino. I have no decent wins to post and this was the night I began to realize I might be in trouble in this casino. I'm a big boy though and take full responsibility for my poor judgement. I kept throwing money at the casino hoping for that big win. Luck simply refused to be on my side.

 

Turned in early tonight (to an already turned in mother) as we had an early morning excursion planned tomorrow in Grand Cayman.

[boopsahoy]

Dessert menu.

 

 

I ordered the torta di cioccolata e lamponi.

 

 

This was good, but not really any better to me than the desserts available at non specialty restaurants.

 

In summary, the food was terrible. Overall the worst meal I've eaten on a cruise ship. I would say for sure skip this even with the dining plan. The cost of this meal if I hadn't had the dining plan, $64. I would never dream of paying that much for this low quality meal on land. To charge that much on top of a cruise fare that paid for a meal in the MDR or buffet is absurd and honestly a bit of a turn off. There was nothing here that cost any more to produce than items found at the buffet or the dining room. This was a pure money grab. Please don't fall for it.

 

The service was adequate.

 

When leaving, the host showed us the secret door to get out without having to climb the stairs. That was a nice touch as my mom was struggling a bit coming down and going up was going to be a challenge for her.

 

We are cruising again on my Mom's birthday and I have made reservations for her birthday at Carnival's specialty Italian place. I have never been and it also gets mixed reviews, so I am a bit unsure now and am considering taking her to the steakhouse instead. It will only be $30 total so I won't be out a lot of money, but I would not want her birthday dinner to be as unremarkable as this.

 

After dinner the remainder of my night was spent in the casino. I have no decent wins to post and this was the night I began to realize I might be in trouble in this casino. I'm a big boy though and take full responsibility for my poor judgement. I kept throwing money at the casino hoping for that big win. Luck simply refused to be on my side.

 

Turned in early tonight (to an already turned in mother) as we had an early morning excursion planned tomorrow in Grand Cayman.

The Italian restaurant on Carnival is excellent. We liked it better than the steakhouse.

[jam19872016]

The Italian restaurant on Carnival is excellent. We liked it better than the steakhouse.

 

That is great to hear! I think I am going to leave my reservation alone. But I'm going to be bummed if we end up with a subpar experience at her birthday dinner. Fingers crossed :)

[keegob]

Enjoying your review. Thank you for taking the time.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

[PTC DAWG]

I find food reviews very subjective, across all lines and boards....

[havanadaydreaming]

sad to hear about La Cucina. my wife had the lasagna on the Escape and said it was her all time fave (and she's a St Louis native who frequented The Hill's famous Italian joints)

 

my fave was teppanyaki.

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-G955U using Forums mobile app

[Sailing12Away]

I find food reviews very subjective, across all lines and boards....

I agree. The poster said their lasagna was burnt to the point of being inedible, but I don't see a single black mark on it. Plus the price of $64 for appetizer, dinner and dessert.... here in NY that is a steal. So with every review, you have to keep in mind the perspective of where people are coming from with their prior experiences and expectations.

 

I'm sailing on the Epic in 5 days, I'm guessing I'll have a very different opinion during my trip.

[jam19872016]

Enjoying your review. Thank you for taking the time.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums

 

You're very welcome. Glad you're enjoying.

 

I find food reviews very subjective, across all lines and boards....

 

I agree 100%. There is no aspect of a review that is more subjective than food. I know you don't know me, I'm just some guy posting on the internet, but I am very easy to please when it comes to food. I am used to being on the other side of the table - people complaining about the food and me thinking "what is wrong with this guy, them's some good eats ;p"

 

I won't make any wild claims like I could not find anything to eat or I went hungry. That's crazy talk. But as a whole, I did not enjoy the food on NCL overall anywhere near as much as I do on Carnival.

[jam19872016]

sad to hear about La Cucina. my wife had the lasagna on the Escape and said it was her all time fave (and she's a St Louis native who frequented The Hill's famous Italian joints)

 

my fave was teppanyaki.

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-G955U using Forums mobile app

 

I see many reviews that agree with your wife. Further proof that taste in food is subjective. I also am sure food quality is not always consistent from ship to ship. Perhaps the Epic is having food quality issues? Or maybe my judgement was clouded? Who knows.

 

If your wife should ever find herself on a Carnival cruise, make sure she tries their vegetarian lasagna served the first night in the MDR. They have many different versions of lasagna with many different quality levels, but that veggie lasagna OMG YUM!!:hearteyes::hearteyes:

 

I agree. The poster said their lasagna was burnt to the point of being inedible, but I don't see a single black mark on it. Plus the price of $64 for appetizer, dinner and dessert.... here in NY that is a steal. So with every review, you have to keep in mind the perspective of where people are coming from with their prior experiences and expectations.

 

I'm sailing on the Epic in 5 days, I'm guessing I'll have a very different opinion during my trip.

 

As I said, I was being a little dramatic in my description. It wasn't a burnt char that was literally inedible. Look on the lower portion of the top layer, that brown is not just a crispy top piece. It was crispy enough to go crunch when you bit into it. It was dried out, hard, and I expect better from a restaurant calling itself "specialty dining".

 

I'll also admit that I may not know my audience's expectations well. My perspective may be more geared to what a Carnival cruiser would expect. This trip was an eye opener for me along the lines of "grass ain't always greener". The posters on Carnival boards seem to feel like Carnival is "nickle and diming them". And I can assure you, if Carnival charged $64 for the best Italian meal they had ever eaten in their life, there would be many many cries of foul play and price gouging.

 

To compare, Carnival's Italian is $30 for two. Their steakhouse for two is $70.

 

I would never expect to pay NYC prices on a cruise ship. I have already paid for a meal, I should only be paying for the experience of a nice restaurant serving higher quality food than the MDR. In my opinion, this was a miss on both levels.

 

 

And for what its worth, I do agree that food reviews are the most subjective aspect of any review. I hope you have a great cruise, and enjoy your dining experience. For sure, nobody will be going hungry on this ship :)