LGBTQIA+ Friendly Destinations

[notscb]

I've been looking around at different itineraries and my MIL made a comment about one of the cities I was hoping to visit being "the worst place for gay people to be" (turns out she was wrong).

 

I wondered, though, given that the rights of LGBTQ+ people around the world aren't always guaranteed, how does that impact everyone in choosing itineraries, cruise lines, departure ports, etc? Are there any destinations you would downright avoid as a cruiser? Any destinations you found particularly friendly and/or overtly welcoming to us? 

[JustaOreo]

We’ve really had no issues with any of the cruise lines. I will not go to Jamaica though I’m told men potentially can have….more negative experiences than women. (Yes I’m Jamaican.)

We really enjoy Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Seattle and Sydney and find them quite welcoming. 

[CruiserLucas]

Whether on a cruise or not I've been throughout Europe, Russia, America, the Caribbean, and Australia. And while I've been more mindful in certain locations or situations of not drawing overt attention to the fact that I'm gay, it hasn't stopped me from visiting or having fun. On a cruise, you're likely to be or have the easy choice to be in safer tourist areas of even the more anti-LGBTQ destinations. Since gay dollars have the same value as straight dollars, the tourist places are happy to take them and give you an enjoyable visit so you either come back or tell your friends so they get more money.

[Surfguyxxx]

I too go where I want to visit without restrictions.  I'm not flamboyant and we don't hold hands walking down the street.  We're just 2 normal guys who like to travel where we want; when we want.  Lately we've been to London, Belfast Ireland, Amsterdam, Sydney, Florida; all without issues.

[cruiseny4life]

 

Tl:dr - We are two bearded, very well-rounded (stomach-shape), masculine guys that go where we want. And yes, I speak coming from a privileged white, gay background, so I understand my experiences are likely much different than others. 

 

My husband and I have different philosophies when choosing cruises: granted we've only been on one together, but have two additional cruises booked (1 in August, 1 in March) on NCL. We're not into PDA or hand holding in public really. We're just not PDA people, of any stripe. We also look far too similar, so are often confused for brothers which probably helps in traveling safely, plus we're more Cameron sized, than Mitchell sized (Modern Family, y'all).  

 

As for how we determine where to go: I'm lazy and want to sit around doing nothing which means I would much prefer us book cruises with a lot of sea days (Trans-Atlantic, Panama Canal, I don't care so long as there's lots and lots of sea days). The husband is looking for ports, so we're heading to Bermuda (same as last time) to finish the island off, in terms of seeing what we want (and I do get 2 sea days on a 5 day cruise). Then, in March, we're heading to Mexico, Honduras, and Belize. 

 

I know that doesn't really answer your question about friendly/unfriendly ports of call, but we do know that Bermuda isn't the friendliest toward our rights (they rescinded gay marriage, after all), but we like Bermuda and the people are very, very friendly! 

 

We don't have a clue how we'll be perceived in Central America. The cruise is over my birthday and offers several excursions to ancient Mayan ruins which is why we're going.

 

As for inhospitable places, well we travel to Russia (he is Russian). We never felt unsafe wandering around on our own and I met several people who were so happy to meet an American! Obviously, we won't be going back for awhile...hopefully not long. His grandparents aren't getting any younger!

 

I know some countries, such as Egypt, Turkey, Jordan, Saudi Arabia aren't really friendly, but we're looking to take a trip there - haven't determined if that'll be land-based or cruise-based yet. Perhaps a mixture of a both, with a trip down the Nile. All I know is, I want to dip my feet in the Red Sea while on the Sinai Peninsula! 

 

 

 

[welshy74]

We have cruised various regions and never felt unsafe, but we don't do any PDA or run around with pride flags, so I doubt anyone takes any notice.  

Personally we chose not to pick itineraries that visit countries in the Middle East, Malaysia, Indonesia and North Africa even though I have docked in Tunisia and Morocco without issue. 

We have also be advised not to book sailings out of Galveston TX as apparently it attracts a certain type of American not to keen on gays or foreigners, both boxes we tick.   We pretty much stick with Europe which has the most gay friendly destinations globally.  

[letsgogogo]

On 7/24/2022 at 6:47 PM, notscb said:

I've been looking around at different itineraries and my MIL made a comment about one of the cities I was hoping to visit being "the worst place for gay people to be" (turns out she was wrong).

 

I wondered, though, given that the rights of LGBTQ+ people around the world aren't always guaranteed, how does that impact everyone in choosing itineraries, cruise lines, departure ports, etc? Are there any destinations you would downright avoid as a cruiser? Any destinations you found particularly friendly and/or overtly welcoming to us? 

European destinations are all lgbt friendly with some countries like Italy being slightly more conservative and Netherlands and Denmark being very liberal. Spain and Portugal are both exceedingly gay friendly. Challenges are more so for Caribbean travel. The islands vary greatly based on their colonial history. Puerto Rico is very safe for gays. US Virgin Islands as well. Barbados is very safe with extremely low violent crime, but it is highly conservative with no visible gay culture. You’d want to be very discrete there. Cayman and British Virgin Islands are also very conservative. Probably not unsafe, but these islands still have laws that target us.  Jamaica can be downright dangerous. Personally, I don’t care to visit or spend money in countries with this type of discrimination so Caribbean travel is not for me. I did one sailing picked for its more gay friendly ports. PR, St. Thomas USVI, Punta Cana, DR, and Nassau where we only went to Atlantis. 
 

Alaska is safe and lovely. We are doing a New England and Quebec City Sailing this fall. Extremely lgbt friendly. 

[Britboys]

I would agree that Europe generally is very LGBT+ friendly. Spain is particularly liberal and Italy more conservative. Scandinavia is open and welcoming.

Like some other posters, I personally avoid on principle countries that still have discriminatory laws. If they are happy to throw me in jail - or worse - just for being me, I have no desire to contribute to their economy. Fully accept it is purely a personal decision though.

[LGW59]

On 8/2/2022 at 7:11 AM, Britboys said:

I would agree that Europe generally is very LGBT+ friendly. Spain is particularly liberal and Italy more conservative. Scandinavia is open and welcoming.

Like some other posters, I personally avoid on principle countries that still have discriminatory laws. If they are happy to throw me in jail - or worse - just for being me, I have no desire to contribute to their economy. Fully accept it is purely a personal decision though.

I have always found Europe (Ireland, Italy, England, France, Amsterdam) to be more than welcoming and places where we feel extremely comfortable as a couple.  I am on an upcoming TA and the final stop is Bermuda, where I will not get off the ship.  #1 I have been there 3 times, though it has been more than 15 years, and I find it quite boring, lacking a real culture beyond stuffy island vibe with very little that interests me.  #2 It is not a gay friendly country (you can do the Googling) and my $ will not be spent there, and yes I know I am paying port costs for docking there but that is where my expenditures start and end for Bermuda. 

[P&T]

Interesting topic

 

My partner and I have travelled to 70+ countries by sea and air, including some listed above like, Jordan, Egypt, Morocco, Malaysia, UAE, Turkey, Russia, Kenya, Namibia. We have stayed in two Muslim owned & run hotels.

 

We are not into PDA or holding hands but 99% of people who spent more than 5 minutes with us would "know" as we don't go out of our way to hide our relationship, introduce ourselves as partners and plainly obvious not "brothers" (mixed race, mixed age group).

 

There have been only two incidents that made us step back and think we weren't that welcome were 1. A hotel in Singapore refusing to give us a room with one bed and upgraded us to another room with two double beds in the hotel next door (bonus - moved from 4* to 5* at their expense) and 2. on a tour of several states of the US where the "cowboy wannabe" coach driver (from Arizona) made it plainly clear he was very uncomfortable did not want to be in our presence. As the tour progressed, it was funny to observe him as the other passengers from various corners of the world had no issue and they made him feel the odd one out. Pretty sure it wasn't just that we were LBGT, but he was also racist.

 

There have been plenty of amusing episodes over the last 25 years where people are just plain dumb and couldn't work it all out (the greatest proportion from North America) and and asked a series of dumb questions until they had an a-ha moment.

[MishelleMcc]

All great tips!  thank you everyone!

[fshepinc]

I'll chime in and second (third, fourth...) what several others have said: I always feel completely safe in Europe (minus Russia). I've done many, many Caribbean cruises, but always make it a point to be more low-key. No problems at all in Alaska, Mexico (both coasts) or Central/South America. I've done quite a few Atlantis and RSVP cruises, and they are excellent about safety in the ports. In fact, it's quite a secure feeling when you look up and down the street and see all those orange lanyards and Atlantis duffel bags. 

[RBCal]

Besides South Africa you need to be careful in most of Africa.  I had a few issues in Zambia and Zimbabwe (these are not usual ports of call but may be offered as side tours).  Botswana and Victoria Falls should be on your bucket list but you have to go back in the closet there.

[At7Seas]

On 7/22/2023 at 8:34 PM, RBCal said:

Besides South Africa you need to be careful in most of Africa.  I had a few issues in Zambia and Zimbabwe (these are not usual ports of call but may be offered as side tours).  Botswana and Victoria Falls should be on your bucket list but you have to go back in the closet there.

 

Well, although South Africa is by law very gay friendly it does not mean that all people are treating a gay couple friendly. I travelled last winter for several months, of which most time I spent in South Africa. There I met a local man whom I asked to accompany me. He took off and some time later he joined me indeed.
 
When we checked in at a hotel in Augrabies - our reservation I had made for a double bedroom for two - the receptionist first told us that we have to take two rooms. Two men, black and white in one room was obviously too much for her. Since we refused she wanted us to stay in a room with separate beds. After insisting again she finally gave up and accompanied us to our reserved room. But she told us to eat in our room and not in the restaurant. My friend grew up under the apartheid regime and worst memories came up. The receptionist was what South Africans call coloured - mixed race. So he mentioned that her pure existence is owed to black and white couples… She did everything not to talk to us again and the other staff treated us respectfully. Of course we did not eat in our room and - surprise, surprise - no uprising occurred, the most intense interaction with other guests was small talk. Of course I notice hate speech of extremists, hear or read about crimes. But on such a personal level the last time something similar happened to me in the 80’s.
 
To be fair, this receptionist wasn’t typical. In a very religious part of the country I was a bit concerned after the previous experience. But we checked in without comment, we just were told that on Sunday all restaurants in town would be closed. When we went to our room after dinner on Saturday evening the waiter there didn‘t wish a “good night”, but “have fun”. Okay, he obviously was one of us. In another location an elderly lady excused several times that she didn’t understand immediately that we were a couple after offering us an alternative apartment with single beds instead of the booked one with a double bed.
 
BTW, Botswana did the important step of decriminalisation recently. So besides being convicted also the possibilities of blackmailing and so on are abolished. Of course the way to acceptance is long, but an important step is done. I for my part decided not to do Victoria Falls and to avoid travelling to Zimbabwe or Zambia.

[RBCal]

In Botswana you have to cross the border on foot and step into disinfectant (with your shoes on).  The border agent made a somewhat pointed comment "two men traveling together"?  We ignored him and were allowed to enter.  It probably helped that our booking was at the most prestigious resort in Chobe and we had a private guide.  I suspect it would be more difficult if we didn't.  This was like 20 years ago and things may have changed since then.

[At7Seas]

Okay, the disinfectant thing I also experienced in the middle of Europe during an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, about this part I wouldn‘t worry. And being questioned why two men are travelling is luckily no reason to worry any longer at the border of Botswana. There is no reason of gay men being suspected of possibly having plans to commit a crime according to local laws. Criminalisation has been ruled as being unconstitutional perhaps two years ago, long after your visit. At least a few things move to the better in this world.

[CDNPolar]

4 hours ago, At7Seas said:

 

Well, although South Africa is by law very gay friendly it does not mean that all people are treating a gay couple friendly. I travelled last winter for several months, of which most time I spent in South Africa. There I met a local man whom I asked to accompany me. He took off and some time later he joined me indeed.
 
When we checked in at a hotel in Augrabies - our reservation I had made for a double bedroom for two - the receptionist first told us that we have to take two rooms. Two men, black and white in one room was obviously too much for her. Since we refused she wanted us to stay in a room with separate beds. After insisting again she finally gave up and accompanied us to our reserved room. But she told us to eat in our room and not in the restaurant. My friend grew up under the apartheid regime and worst memories came up. The receptionist was what South Africans call coloured - mixed race. So he mentioned that her pure existence is owed to black and white couples… She did everything not to talk to us again and the other staff treated us respectfully. Of course we did not eat in our room and - surprise, surprise - no uprising occurred, the most intense interaction with other guests was small talk. Of course I notice hate speech of extremists, hear or read about crimes. But on such a personal level the last time something similar happened to me in the 80’s.
 
To be fair, this receptionist wasn’t typical. In a very religious part of the country I was a bit concerned after the previous experience. But we checked in without comment, we just were told that on Sunday all restaurants in town would be closed. When we went to our room after dinner on Saturday evening the waiter there didn‘t wish a “good night”, but “have fun”. Okay, he obviously was one of us. In another location an elderly lady excused several times that she didn’t understand immediately that we were a couple after offering us an alternative apartment with single beds instead of the booked one with a double bed.
 
BTW, Botswana did the important step of decriminalisation recently. So besides being convicted also the possibilities of blackmailing and so on are abolished. Of course the way to acceptance is long, but an important step is done. I for my part decided not to do Victoria Falls and to avoid travelling to Zimbabwe or Zambia.

 

I think that we have to segregate South Africa into areas.

 

If you are in Cape Town, and you are checking into the Marriott or any other global chain, you will not have these issues.

 

Heck - we checked into the Four Seasons in Cairo as gay men in a room with a King bed and not a question was asked... but we are talking about South Africa.

 

If you are travelling in smaller areas where openly gay is not the norm, you are bound to come across some challenges.

 

I am a fan that in areas of the world that are not "gay friendly" or where we could face harsh consequences, you do it on a tour where you are part of a group and that the tour leader is well aware and knowledgable of the situation.

[At7Seas]

Sure, central (!) Cape Town is regarding social acceptance not the same as a remote village, while the also in international comparison tough South African anti-discrimination rules are the same in the entire country. But I am afraid that social acceptance is not the same in the different regions of most countries. Of course we mustn‘t forget the influence of tourism, not only by opening the mind of the people, but also in tolerating to benefit the own business. Egyptians tend to be masters in the latter discipline, but back to South Africa.
 
While quite often small local communities without massive influx of tourists are worldwide not so welcoming indeed my experience in the rural hotel in a tiny and highly religious community within Cederberg Wilderness proves that this is a not always applicable rule. That in a typical tourist destination as Augrabies Falls the receptionist of a four star hotel discriminated surprised me as well. Also the expectation that younger persons would be much more used to diversity than older ones exactly this young woman proved wrong - the same did the elderly lady who gave us a warm welcome before and after understanding that we are gay. I could add that the staff of National Parks (remoteness by definition) and the state owned rest camps therein cares much more about safety rules than about who is entering. The “who” was only relevant for the entrance fee, since international travellers pay more than South African citizens.
 
Yes, I agree that in some parts of the world a group and a guide can be very useful not to get into troubles. But regarding South Africa this is generally not needed. The opposite is true, this country is ideal for exploring individually. Joining a guided tour through a city or participating in a game drive at the destinations are great as add-ons. The only exception from visiting individually are trips to townships - there everybody should have a guide, because of the high level of violent crime. This includes large parts of Cape Town and most South Africans wouldn’t go there at all and even avoid passing them.

[CDNPolar]

1 hour ago, At7Seas said:

Sure, central (!) Cape Town is regarding social acceptance not the same as a remote village, while the also in international comparison tough South African anti-discrimination rules are the same in the entire country. But I am afraid that social acceptance is not the same in the different regions of most countries. Of course we mustn‘t forget the influence of tourism, not only by opening the mind of the people, but also in tolerating to benefit the own business. Egyptians tend to be masters in the latter discipline, but back to South Africa.
 
While quite often small local communities without massive influx of tourists are worldwide not so welcoming indeed my experience in the rural hotel in a tiny and highly religious community within Cederberg Wilderness proves that this is a not always applicable rule. That in a typical tourist destination as Augrabies Falls the receptionist of a four star hotel discriminated surprised me as well. Also the expectation that younger persons would be much more used to diversity than older ones exactly this young woman proved wrong - the same did the elderly lady who gave us a warm welcome before and after understanding that we are gay. I could add that the staff of National Parks (remoteness by definition) and the state owned rest camps therein cares much more about safety rules than about who is entering. The “who” was only relevant for the entrance fee, since international travellers pay more than South African citizens.
 
Yes, I agree that in some parts of the world a group and a guide can be very useful not to get into troubles. But regarding South Africa this is generally not needed. The opposite is true, this country is ideal for exploring individually. Joining a guided tour through a city or participating in a game drive at the destinations are great as add-ons. The only exception from visiting individually are trips to townships - there everybody should have a guide, because of the high level of violent crime. This includes large parts of Cape Town and most South Africans wouldn’t go there at all and even avoid passing them.

 

What are your suggestions for Safari?  We want to go on a safari but are concerned about being a gay couple and what kind of reception we will receive.

 

Are there certain countries in Africa that would be recommended over others?

We are not tied to a safari in SA, we are also thinking Tanzania.

 

Thoughts?  Concerns?  Questions?

[At7Seas]

For my winter in Southern Africa I flew to Johannesburg and travelled by car through not only South Africa, but also through eSwatini (former Swaziland) and with detours to Lesotho and Botswana and returned by cruise back to Europe. I drove myself in Kruger National Park and Kgalagadi Transfrontier Park (situated in South Africa and Botswana) and these parks were absolute highlights. While in Kruger you have a lot of tarred roads and the dirt roads are mostly very well maintained and can be used by all kinds of cars (only convertibles are forbidden) there is no tarred road in Kgalagadi and a lot of tracks are only open for 4x4s. Generally Kruger is much closer to civilisation than Kgalagadi is. For me it is part of the experience - but you need to live without mobile phone... Kgalagadi you need to book far in advance, there is not a lot of accommodation available and I would have loved to stay longer, but eight months in advance the offer was pretty limited already. In Kruger a 4x4 is definitely not needed, but it makes sense to rent a SUV for sitting higher and having a better view. In Kruger I had great elephant sightings (there are none in Kgalagadi), but staying in Addo Elephant National Park is a great experience as well. Addo is a quite small, but if you do the Garden Route you should include it.
 
If you do Kruger the Far North area is really worth it, not only the most popular South, which is closest to Johannesburg. In the parks I used the state owned rest camps only. In the main camps you have a choice from campsites to cottages, sometimes guesthouses are available as well. The cottages are basic, but clean and well usable. As it is South Africa all have braai (barbecue) facilities. The main camps in Kruger have restaurants (in Kgalagadi only the one at the entrance gate), all main camps have shops (limited food offer) and petrol stations, many satellite camps are just a short drive from a main camp, only a few need good logistics for being very remote. Especially the private lodges in Greater Kruger are said to be top quality, but so are the prices. Negative part is that these are mostly isolated from the road network of the park, the trip from Pafuri to Crocodile Bridge all through the park as I made it is only possible with use of the state owned rest camps. In most camps there was the possibility to participate in game drives early morning, during, or after sunset, these are times you mustn‘t move around in the park alone and a lot of animals become active you can hardly see during the day. As far as we visited parks together there was no issue at all and there were other male couples as well. When planing don‘t underestimate travel times in the parks. Google Maps tells you quite well how long it takes from A to B within the speed limits (between 30 and 50 km/h), but allow at least double that time for watching animals and taking the one or other loop for visiting waterholes or other view points. Sanparks offers you a good overview over South African national parks: https://www.sanparks.org/
 
I really would like to explore Botswana further, especially the Okavango. Victoria Falls are for sure great, but if at all I would consider it during a day trip from Kasane in Northern Botswana. Zimbabwe and Zambia are very anti-gay countries and prosecuting intensively, I am not sure whether I want going there even for some hours. Angola abolished anti-gay legislation, but is for my taste the country is not safe enough for travelling, independent of sexual orientation. Namibia has also an anti-gay legislation, but according to the German foreign office‘s publication of travel advises they have no information that these laws would be applied. To East African states with exception of Mozambique I wouldn‘t go with a partner, Malawi is a country I as a gay man wouldn‘t even go to alone. In eSwatini and Lesotho I would be at least very decent when travelling with a partner not to get into troubles. The situation in South Africa is completely the opposite, legal rights are very well protected, anti-discrimination rules and gay marriage are constitutional rights. In fact we could have called the police in the incident I described. Just to put it into a context: I remember an announcement about a gay event on radio. A man called in and told something about the bible. He got from the moderator as answer that South Africa would be a constitutional democracy, not a biblical democracy. Well, even here in Europe we have countries where this moderator would have risked his job with this statement.
 
I wouldn‘t hesitate to travel in South Africa as part of a gay couple again, in fact it is very likely. As everywhere some haters are around, but if this would make me staying at home I wouldn‘t even step in front of the door.

 

[RBCal]

My safari in Botswana was a tour of a lifetime.  I saw thousands of elephants and many crocodiles, lions and springboks.  The baboons are ubiquitous and I found to be a bit scary.  Monkeys are really clever thieves and will even run into your room to steal food if you are not careful.