A HAL Buy-Out

[hammybee]

I read HAL has the greatest number of repeat cruisers in the industry. Even though, it is not enough for HAL to maintain 100+% occupancy, so they need to reach out to new blood and do so, at a competitive price.

 

To sail at a competitive price and be profitable, HAL needs to promote incremental passenger spending and cut back on or charge more for some of those things, some of us take for granted. This puts HAL at odds with us loyal Mariners.

 

HAL's market research has shown the that the new blood generally prefers more casual attire and more flexibility in dining times. This puts HAL at odds with us loyal Mariners.

 

As loyal Mariners we need to decide, here and now, if we are going to take this lying down or do something about it. Here is one idea:

 

We, the loyal Mariners are going to self fund, in the form of interest free loans, and buy back HAL from CCL. We will operate HAL as a not-for-profit cruise line and will do it, our way, maintaining the traditions.

 

We need to form an auxillary for fund raising and operation of on board gift shops, popcorn vending, lido service, coffee service, pursers office and what not. There will be perky Yum-Yum ladies at dinner every evening. We will read every Passenger Service Comment card. Those that we don't like will go on a mailing list that we will sell to CCL.

 

To sustain the not-for-profit status, we need tens of thousands of volunteer hours a year. To acknowledge the time, we will give credit for each hour spent in service while onboard and award cool stuff to those with the most hours served.

 

Bingo pays so it stays but we won't intrude on any passenger's experience so we wil not announce it. It might be necessary, from time to time, to sell raffle tickets for PG dinners, tips included, of course.

 

The Auxillary will also operate the onboard formal attire shop that will have donated but always fashionable formal wear for trade. This will allow all passengers to dress appropriately, without lugging the formal wear from home. Each hallway will have volunteer inspectors to make certain that all pasengers adhere to the dress code or stay put in their cabins where they belong. We will think of everything.

 

We will only serve food that we like and it will always be prepared to perfection and served by the best waitestaff on the high seas. It will be necessary to vote if the Parade of Baked Alaska continues or not.

 

Because HAL will be our cruise line and we want the best crew, we will occasionally host Crew Appreciation sails. The best of the best, as determined from the Customer Satisfaction Surveys, will be invited, along with their families to sail, as our guests. It will be our privledge to serve those that served so well.

 

Periodically,fabulous gala cruises will be planned and feature special entertainment, only of the kind that we like. The net proceeds will be targeted for designated improvements, only the ones we agree upon. We can market sponsorships for each sailing and give those doners a hearty round of applause and plug or two in the daily bulletin. If we come upon harder times, we might have to consider allowing corporate sponsorship of some improvements. When we do so, we will make certain that the sponsor's name is discretely embroidered in the seams of the tablecloths and napkins and acknowledged in kind.

 

Being not-for-profit also means that we will need to enable cruising for the disadvantaged that would otherwise not be able to cruise with HAL. We are going to need a committee to figure out the criteria for this and award cruises to those in need and make sure that only those that will respect the HAL experience are allowed. It has the potential to change lives.

 

Because we Mariners are all kinds, we need to figure out the smoking thing and get it right. So some of the cruises will be designated as "if you got em, smoke em" and other cruises will not allow it anywhere, at any time. It might be necessary to separate the red from the white wine drinkers too.

 

Weather and sea conditions can impact passenger satisfaction. So if it's necessary to skip a port, arrive late, depart early or incur a little roll, we will rebate unhappy passengers @ 5 X the cost of their cruise.

 

We will sail free of payload, rather than risk group sales to people we don't like or take on charters, lest we dissappoint a passenger that might be thinking about a given cruise. It's the cost of doing business, our way.

 

We will only sail to ports we like. If enough of us are willing to lead shore excursions and drive the buses, we can probably offer shore excursions at a bargain. Every bus will have 2 back ups to pick up those passengers that missed the first, or in case of a breakdown.

 

We will have to sort out our rules about bringing onboard hard alcohol, soda, wine, beer, jeans, tank tops, blenders, irons, unkind passengers, boomboxes, thongs, baseball caps, toasters, chewing gum, cranky kids and sewing machines. Once we do, we will maintain a Zero Tolerence Policy.

 

It's up to us loyal Mariners to maintain the traditions of HAL. Can we count on you?

[codyody]

How to I join the Auxillary? I'll even donate DH's too-small tux!

[hammybee]

How to I join the Auxillary? I'll even donate DH's too-small tux!

You are leading by example and are now a charter member of the Auxillary.

Do you have the time to recruit the Yum -Yum lady volunteers?

[kryos]

LOL ... I realize your post was tongue in cheek, but there's a lot of truth in it too. We like things as they are ... and that's probably a big part of the reason why we sail HAL ... it suits our preferences. But, those new builds ... bigger and "better" mean that HAL has to bring lots of "fresh meat" onboard, and many of those people are not going to see things the way many of us do. Hence, HAL is gonna change to get them onboard by meeting their needs. Their demands, I am sure, include flexible dining times and a more casual onboard atmosphere. HAL wouldn't be instituting those changes unless a vast majority of the comment cards were calling for them. True, HAL still maintains the nightly dress codes, but truthfully, when was the last time you saw someone turned away from the dining room on formal night if they were dressed fairly decently, but definitely not formal? You won't see it any longer either ... of that I am pretty sure. In fact, I've said it before, but I'd be willing to bet within the next year or so you're gonna see formal nights become optional, at least on the Vista class ships. Change is in the wind already. Notice how the prohibition against jeans in the dining room has been dropped on casual nights?

 

So what do we do about it?

 

Well, we could opt for your solution, which is not likely, or we can start trying some other cruise lines that may meet our needs more effectively. The only other options are to learn to live with the changes and to embrace them, or else simply stop sailing altogether.

 

For me personally, I guess I will continue to sail HAL, but stay away from the shorter cruises and the Vista class ships. That will work for a while ... but eventually all HAL will have is large ships with mostly shorter sailings. I'd bet most of the other mass market type cruise lines will be the same. So, I guess when that day comes, I just won't be cruising anymore and will have to find another vacation alternative. Such is the nature of change.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[shipshapegal]

You are leading by example and are now a charter member of the Auxillary.

Do you have the time to recruit the Yum -Yum lady volunteers?

 

Yum - Yum lady volunteer here! (Do I get to sample the snacks?)

[SDHALFAN]

 

We need to form an auxillary for fund raising and operation of on board gift shops, popcorn vending, lido service, coffee service, pursers office and what not. There will be perky Yum-Yum ladies at dinner every evening. We will read every Passenger Service Comment card. Those that we don't like will go on a mailing list that we will sell to CCL.

 

To sustain the not-for-profit status, we need tens of thousands of volunteer hours a year. To acknowledge the time, we will give credit for each hour spent in service while onboard and award cool stuff to those with the most hours served.

 

It's up to us loyal Mariners to maintain the traditions of HAL. Can we count on you?

 

 

Where do I sign up?

 

Valerie:D

[elmorejj]

I`ll work the Ocean Bar, no 15% service charge of course, I`ll take my tips in Scotch and water.............jean:cool:

[Grampy]

LOL ... I realize your post was tongue in cheek, but there's a lot of truth in it too. We like things as they are ... and that's probably a big part of the reason why we sail HAL ... it suits our preferences. But, those new builds ... bigger and "better" mean that HAL has to bring lots of "fresh meat" onboard,

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

 

I haven't been called "fresh meat" in a long time. I don't think that I've ever been called that but I think I like it. :p

 

This will be our first cruise on Hal. I'm sure that we will fit right in. We always have a great time on a cruise. :D

[Bodger]

I will volunteer for the thong judging comittee.:D

 

Bodger

[Hojo's redbeard]

Change in life is inevitable, it is constant and unstoppable, those who embrace it are happiest (and usually successful as a result). Obviously there weren't enough Loyal Mariners that yearn for the traditionalism of HAL that most so whistfully yearn for. If there were, HAL wouldn't be implementing any changes.

 

Here is a suggestion for all of the HAL traditionalist old time Mariners: Charter a HAL ship. Since you would be chartering the ship, you could have the old time rules in force. You won't have to worry about jeans in the dining room, non-formal dress on formal nights, etc. You just have to find enough people that like you yearn for the old HAL of your memories and make it happen. It'd be a lot easier than coming up with the $15 Billion+ to buy it back from CCL.

[The Tsar]

...Obviously there weren't enough Loyal Mariners that yearn for the traditionalism of HAL that most so whistfully yearn for....

 

NO TRUE - If 80-90 % of the passengers are Mariners' date=' then there are only 10-20 % who want to rock the ship ;) . If those 80%-90% went elsewhere - What do you think HAL would do?[/size']

[Hojo's redbeard]

NO TRUE - If 80-90 % of the passengers are Mariners, then there are only 10-20 % who want to rock the ship ;) . If those 80%-90% went elsewhere - What do you think HAL would do?

 

Not all Mariners are created equally. From what I've read, there aren't anywhere near 80-90% full tilt formalwear on formal night. Also, if they had so many loyals, they wouldn't have had to sell off cabins so cheap to fill up the ships this fall. My suggestion of the charter was for people that long whistfully for the type of cruising environment hammybee's original post eluded to.

[RuthC]

hammybee, as always, you can count on me. I'll even volunteer double shifts if that's what it takes. :)

You will also put me in charge of quality control---chocolate division, I presume? ;)

Oh, and may I bring my cat? :D

[cruisinjudy]

I need to bring my cat and my dog, and they aren't always happy to be in the same room, so I will need two rooms. The penthouse suite might do.

[Sunshine91]

Weather and sea conditions can impact passenger satisfaction. So if it's necessary to skip a port, arrive late, depart early or incur a little roll, we will rebate unhappy passengers @ 5 X the cost of their cruise.

 

Hammy - A true Mariner knows that this is a very real possibility, so this clause is unnecessary in the contract of carriage. ;) :D

 

I have several formals (worn once or twice on cruises or to weddings, New Years, things like that) to donate to the formalwear shop onboard. Am currently shopping e-Bay to replenish my supply, so am ready, willing & able to join the Ladies' Auxilliary. Please sign me up.

 

I read the initial post to John. He was horrified to learn that thongs would not be permitted onboard. Had to explain to him that it was the public wearing of the thongs that would not be allowed. Then he understood. ;) (I'm not sayin' any more.)

[hammybee]

Yum - Yum lady volunteer here! (Do I get to sample the snacks?)

 

You may have a fig, my dear.

[RuthC]

What's the matter with thongs? :confused: I've had them on my feet all day. I always wear them when heading to the pool,

[hammybee]

Where do I sign up?

 

Valerie:D

 

OK Val. You get to be in charge of the Passenger Service Cards and decide which ones we keep and those that we sell to CCL.

[hammybee]

I`ll work the Ocean Bar, no 15% service charge of course, I`ll take my tips in Scotch and water.............jean:cool:

 

Jean, you own the Ocean Bar and a scotch a day keeps the doctor away, so we don't a dam doctor onboard.

[hammybee]

I haven't been called "fresh meat" in a long time. I don't think that I've ever been called that but I think I like it. :p

 

This will be our first cruise on Hal. I'm sure that we will fit right in. We always have a great time on a cruise. :D

 

Thank you Grampy for volunteering to be the onboard butcher.

[hammybee]

I will volunteer for the thong judging comittee.:D

 

Bodger

 

Just keep them out of the dining rooms.

[hammybee]

NO TRUE - If 80-90 % of the passengers are Mariners, then there are only 10-20 % who want to rock the ship ;) . If those 80%-90% went elsewhere - What do you think HAL would do?

 

You and the Hojo are going to have to take it outside. This is my silly thread and I am not going to have anyone bring it down. Go start your own thread.

Go one now, ya hear ( as she picks up the broom)

[hammybee]

hammybee, as always, you can count on me. I'll even volunteer double shifts if that's what it takes. :)

You will also put me in charge of quality control---chocolate division, I presume? ;)

Oh, and may I bring my cat? :D

 

You are in charge of all things chocolate. If you must bring a dam cat, please keep it out of the fruit bowls.

[hammybee]

I need to bring my cat and my dog, and they aren't always happy to be in the same room, so I will need two rooms. The penthouse suite might do.

 

I said this was a not-for-profit cruise line. Therefore you can book as many cabins as you and the animals need. I think the separate cabins thing should be a rule, else we might end up HALNOAH's ARK.

[tim agg]

I'm willing to do back-up bar-keeping in the Ocean Bar and be the Sommelier in the Dining Room (and Pinnacle)......If we owned the ships, surely we could keep ship's cats! (Better that kitty munch up the hot appetizers than me!)