A HAL Buy-Out

[RuthC]

I accept Hammybee! I'll begin, I think by booking some of my favorite entertainers for the show lounge. James Taylor, Billy Joel, Carol King, and Jimmy Buffett to start.

Might I submit for your consideration that those signers just aren't "traditional" enough? We need Michael Buble, Frank Stallone, John Pizzarelli. Ya know---big names with traditional repetoires.

(But you can toss Rod Steward in the mix if you want. He's got four great albums of standards.)

[serendipity1499]

More briefs have to be written and riders attached to the contacts before we go to market.

 

Now with all the entertainment, coming aboard for cruise guests, we have to issue all of them Stock Options then have the accounting methods changed and refiled with the SEC now..(\:eek:/)

 

Four AAAA's...What are you waiting for..Go file your briefs with the SEC before I get into trouble with Capt. Hammy & the SEC about this stock we've issued:eek: ..I could plead either "I did not know" or "Insanity", but the New Corp. will have to foot my Attorney's bills..:rolleyes:

 

Has anyone seen or heard from our Esteemed Leader today? We need her directives:confused:

[hammybee]

hammybee, I do hope you are having a good time with this thread. I know that you---and it---have given me a great deal of delight.

(think that'll get me a raise?:D :rolleyes: :eek: ;) )

 

We are paying you your worth in chocalate, Ruth. What more could you want?

[hammybee]

Hey, I'm "freshmeat" as this is my first HAL cruise, I've only done Celebrity in the past. But I have to tell you I LOVE, LOVE dressing up formal!! I love sequins and gowns even my 8 year old wears a "tux". I do love anything "old school" about cruising. Might I suggest a "bigband/swing music" style theme night? I'm in my early 30's but I'm a big fan of keeping the cruise atmosphere as is.

 

I have to say this is the best thread on the site. It's so silly!!

I love the 5x rebate if any ports are changed!! LOL, have you seen the Royal Caribbean threads? OMG! Those people are nuts! :p

 

Cay Girl, You go and help Grampy with the fresh meat stuff. It's his chopping block and so he gets to decide appropriate attire and music. If you find out what he plans to cut in those shorts of his, please let us know.

[hammybee]

I vote that we all take turns sitting at your dinner table Captain Hammy bee. Insert brown nose smiley here.;)

 

I will let that cutting joke pass.

 

You will be welcomed at my table. We will dine off the Children's menu and the nectar, Dr. Pepper, will flow well into the wee hours.

[Grampy]

Might I submit for your consideration that those signers just aren't "traditional" enough? We need Michael Buble, Frank Stallone, John Pizzarelli. Ya know---big names with traditional repetoires.

(But you can toss Rod Steward in the mix if you want. He's got four great albums of standards.)

 

 

Ruth, you have great taste in music. Could we please book Diana Krall also?

[hammybee]

Sorry none of the aforementioned are.. residence is where Dick and Pat Nixon resided as well..

 

You must be in Monmouth Beach or Little Silver.. we just one property recently in Deal ..ocean...

 

The Redherring is at the printers now waiting the boards ok...

 

Are we going to have a premium for herring aboard our ships?

 

Yes the Saddle River does go through the place named for when Napolean won his first battle .. Lodi..

 

In my astute opinion the IPO we may want all the PR we are able to muster and have a Dutch Auction on a Best Efforts Basis..:cool:

 

 

AAAAmerican: you have missed the boat here. Are you sure you are not from Hackensack?

 

We, the Not for Profit HAL, will not be a public company, cause then we have to please the shareholders, instead of ourselves. When we have to please THEM, then we will end up doing things like playing loud dico music in the LIDO which will attract the kind of cruisers that are not apt to appreciate the refined enviornment we have strived to maintain. And anyway, the music thing makes RuthC jumpy and when she gets jumpy, well, we had all better watch out.

[hammybee]

Hammybee et al...this thread has been so much fun to read! Thanks for starting this one! I'll volunteer for a committee...tho for which one I don't have a clue! So if you have an assignment...post it!

HAL is still our favorite line...and I know the diehard Mariners in general don't like the Vista class ships but we have sailed on the Oosterdam and it was very nice. And this spring I was fortunate enough to be invited to come aboard the new Noordam when she was in NYC prior to her inaugeral sailing to the Caribbean and she is beautiful! Tho I have to admit that my very favorite ship of all that we've been fortunate enough to sail with is the elegant Amsterdam!

Anyway...thanks..and happy sailing to all!

 

luv2cruise450: Welcome aboard. We will put your many talents to use as the Onboard Cruise Consultant for all VISA class ships. Please determine appropriate and meaningful incentives, not the measly shipboard credit thing. If you sell enough, we will let you sail on the Amsterdam to remind you how the other half lives. Fair enough?

[hammybee]

Sea Blue Angels have been sited from the Hawks nest in NYC...

 

Whispers of a hostile takeover bid are surfacing now...

 

Are the Golden and Blue parachutes in place?

 

Are you drinking on the job again?

[hammybee]

Hey Hammy, just found this thread by accident:eek: I would like to volunteer my services as the person in charge of ear patches, everything inflatable (ice chests, dart boards, cats, girls, you name it, I'll do it) and official thong inspector. I await your blessing while standing at attention, Ma'am!

 

At ease Copper Man:

 

Your background in inflatables will come in handy. I need you to take charge of all scheduled and unschedules tender operations. I also need someone with a keen eye to patrol for MAN BOOBS in the Lido. Can you recommend anyone?

[SDHALFAN]

You know, I've been thinking about all these jobs being handed out and I got stuck with Passenger Service Cards - not that I don't think that will be fun since I love to lord it over people. Soooooo, first of all it sounds like thirsty work to me: is there a possibility that Jean could send me one of her scotch and waters (easy on the water) every once in a while, just for sustenance you understand?

 

Also, here is another way I may be able to earn extra brownie points: I was the wife of a naval officer for 31 years and have some idea of how the military works. I would be a dab hand at wielding the Cat o' Ninetails, although since these are young children maybe we should use a Cat o' Sixtails instead (for teenagers the Ninetails will work just fine - hmm, maybe we should increase that to Twelvetails?).

 

Also, I would be happy to fill in as Yum Yum Lady should any one of the chosen few overindulge one evening and be unfit to fulfill her duties. I would be more than happy to wear my pillbox at a rakish angle if that's what it takes.

 

My check is in the mail.

 

Valerie:D

[hammybee]

Like Copper, I just found the fun.

 

Weeeelllll, someone must volunteer, I volunteer to be in charge of explaining/or not explaining tipping. Just depends if we want to stay with the current policy of tip secrecy. I've been killed in a battle over this before and didn't learn so I would be perfect for the job, you are going to need someone with integrity, the heart of a lion, the passion of an accountant and that just won't learn better.

 

If I were not upon the sea, a bean counter me

Happy all day long.....:p

 

71 posts and this is the first time the "T" word has surfaced. For the sake of your perpetual job security, should we revert back to the Tipping Optional policy ?

[hammybee]

Listen up people. There's a new sheriff on the HMS HammyDam. As the provisioner of all that is Dr. Pepper, I have complete nectar control over Cap'n Hammy. We all know she's a junkie for the stuff. As such I will be compiling a list of demands. They will be met, or the Dr. P. will be swimmin wid da fishes. :eek:

 

Stay tuned

Snorklebear Guy: Given the naming of the ship and recognition of the Nectar of the Gods, I will, this once, forgive your error in judgement.

[SDHALFAN]

May4,

We have studied your resume carefully and determined that your ability to raise your hand while jumping up and down uniquely qualifies you to be our fisrst cruise director.

 

I was going to try to snag May4 as my assistant, after all she can handle sour and cross people, but I bow to you our beloved leader: she is perfect for cruise director - inspired choice.:D

 

Valerie:)

[hammybee]

Whilst I am new to HAL (to embark on my first voyage in February), I appeal to the captain to allow me to join the crew. As the "newbie," I leave it to your discretion as to where I shall be posted, though I hereby request that no small children be involved, unless you never wish to see them again. I am, however, renowned for cutting remarks to snarky teenagers.

 

Standing at attention,

 

Amy

 

Amy,

 

Save the Children. Middle-aged Mom has them under control in Camp Hell-o. They are our future, or something like that. We are being overwhelmed with reservations and dollars from parents who want to observe, just once, before they die, their little darlings, working. Having said this, anyone who can put "whilst" and "snarky" in the same paragraph has the proven communicaton skills to confuse teens so you own the Teen CLub from Hell-o.

[kakalina]

hammybee: Well, you told me what I couldn't do but you failed to offer a different position. Does this mean I have failed to make the grade?!! :eek: What must I do to make amends Oh great CEO and leader? The flesh is willing but the brain is weak. . I think that is what I mean :confused:

[hammybee]

I accept Hammybee! I'll begin, I think by booking some of my favorite entertainers for the show lounge. James Taylor, Billy Joel, Carol King, and

Jimmy Buffett to start.

 

Next, new questions for Newlywed-Not So Newlywed. Why don't people know the rather important distinction between favorite condiment and, well you know? And gentlemen, your wife probably doesn't wear a bra with a size beginning with the very first letter of the alphabet.

 

Okay, I'll need some Love Boat tapes right away. I may need to channel Julie.

 

May4,

My job is to uphold the traditions of traditional cruising in a traditional fashion. You need to go back to the drawing board on the Jimmy Buffet thing, else we risk an infestation of Parrotheads. Imagine, if you will, what this might to do our formal nights. Always remember though, "You've got a Friend"

[SnorkelBear]

Snorklebear Guy: Given the naming of the ship and recognition of the Nectar of the Gods, I will, this once, forgive your error in judgement.

 

Oh Hammy, my sweet little naive Cap'n. You talk a brave game, but you know I've got you by the short ones. You won't last two days without your nectar. Just admit it. You need me on the HammyDam. You need me bad. You will meet my demands. He who controls the Pepper, controls the HammyDam. HaaHaaHaaHaa!!!!!

[hammybee]

More briefs have to be written and riders attached to the contacts before we go to market.

 

Now with all the entertainment, coming aboard for cruise guests, we have to issue all of them Stock Options then have the accounting methods changed and refiled with the SEC now..

(\:eek:/)

 

AAAAmerican:

This is a private placement so we don't have to answer to the public about anything.

[SnorkelBear]

May4,

My job is to uphold the traditions of traditional cruising in a traditional fashion. You need to go back to the drawing board on the Jimmy Buffet thing, else we risk an infestation of Parrotheads. Imagine, if you will, what this might to do our formal nights. Always remember though, "You've got a Friend"

 

What could be more traditional than a coconut "bro". (Male bra for non-Seinfelders, also known as a mansier)

[hammybee]

Might I submit for your consideration that those signers just aren't "traditional" enough? We need Michael Buble, Frank Stallone, John Pizzarelli. Ya know---big names with traditional repetoires.

(But you can toss Rod Steward in the mix if you want. He's got four great albums of standards.)

 

If Buble is good enough for Katie Couric, he's good enough for the Not-for-Profit HAL. RuthC. you are a true gem.

[hammybee]

Four AAAA's...What are you waiting for..Go file your briefs with the SEC before I get into trouble with Capt. Hammy & the SEC about this stock we've issued:eek: ..I could plead either "I did not know" or "Insanity", but the New Corp. will have to foot my Attorney's bills..:rolleyes:

 

Has anyone seen or heard from our Esteemed Leader today? We need her directives:confused:

 

Loosen the elastic strap on your pill box and all will be well. Trust me on this. I know.

[Copper10-8]

At ease Copper Man:

 

Your background in inflatables will come in handy. I need you to take charge of all scheduled and unschedules tender operations. I also need someone with a keen eye to patrol for MAN BOOBS in the Lido. Can you recommend anyone?

 

(standing at parade rest) Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy!!!!! Do I have the perfect MB inspector for you!! I would like to nominate none other than MAM, short for Middle Aged Mom for that impotant position. She comes with outstanding qualifications for that job (she'll tell you all about it)

In the mean time, I will keep a sharp and keen eye out for any inflatable tenders! Your wish is my command, Ma'am!

BTW, will there music in the Disco?

[hammybee]

Ruth, you have great taste in music. Could we please book Diana Krall also?

 

Grampy,

Please develop alternative PG menu:

 

I don't want fried potatoes,

Red, ripe tomatoes

I'm never satisfied

I want the Frim Fram Sauce

With the oss-en-fa

With Sha fa fa, on the side

[hammybee]

You know, I've been thinking about all these jobs being handed out and I got stuck with Passenger Service Cards - not that I don't think that will be fun since I love to lord it over people. Soooooo, first of all it sounds like thirsty work to me: is there a possibility that Jean could send me one of her scotch and waters (easy on the water) every once in a while, just for sustenance you understand?

 

Also, here is another way I may be able to earn extra brownie points: I was the wife of a naval officer for 31 years and have some idea of how the military works. I would be a dab hand at wielding the Cat o' Ninetails, although since these are young children maybe we should use a Cat o' Sixtails instead (for teenagers the Ninetails will work just fine - hmm, maybe we should increase that to Twelvetails?).

 

Also, I would be happy to fill in as Yum Yum Lady should any one of the chosen few overindulge one evening and be unfit to fulfill her duties. I would be more than happy to wear my pillbox at a rakish angle if that's what it takes.

 

My check is in the mail.

 

Valerie:D

 

Val,

Thanks for the check. You are right. Let's not waste your talents on the Passenger Service Cards cause we really don't care, anyway. The Twelvetails skill set will come in handy in so many ways. Shall we try it out in the Lido first to keep the lines moving at a decent clip? You also can maintain the tradition of formal night and catch those who dare not dress appropriately, as they dash through the ship, on their way to the Lido, for din-din. It's upsetting for those of us who value out traditions to look at them.