What would you do?

[dawna1212]

My mother and I are booked on a cruise.(Century's..Ireland,Paris,London)

She has alot of health issues.(shes 63)

She wants to go on this cruise,really bad!

 

Her doctor just advised her NOT to go.

Hes afraid something bad will happen to her.

 

She tells me she wants to still go...despite his worries.

I do not know what to tell her.

The common sense part of my brain says..dont take her.

The other part is saying....

The whole point of this cruise is to let her see Ireland before she dies.

 

She has never been anywhere.

 

I know I cant get travel insurance on her,because the doctor says she shouldnt go.

 

If something was to happen...were screwed.(sorry)

 

She says if things were to get bad,she would lay down in the cabin,as she does at home.

 

I have no idea what to do.

 

Any thoughts,advice would be great.

 

Donna

[kitty9]

The doctor gave you this advice for a reason. Think about that. If all you want to do is have her see Ireland, then fly there for a few days. Think about this also, if something, heaven forbid, should happen to her on the ship, what would you do?

[CaptData]

My doctor won't let me fly for long periods because of medical problems (I'm in my early 50's). He does allow me to cruise. I can't fly longer then 4-5 hours. See if this is the problem. If so you might consider going on the QE or QM then go to Ireland then return on the QM or QE.

 

I always check with him one week before I go for final exams.

 

If she is on diaylsis then there is still hope. Diayliss At Sea will help here. Get their bourcher and show it to the doctor. If you go without his approval you could risk your lifesafings and your mother's.

[Nitra]

Most travel insurance will cover pre-existing as long as you purchase it within so many days of making the deposit.

 

My step dad had a lot of health issues, we took him on a cruise in October, had to get him a wheelchair to get around the ship, he found getting off a bit too hard so stayed on board and enjoyed the scenery from the ship. He really enjoyed himself. It was me, my mom, him, and about 17 of my friends.

 

In Feb he was hospitalized for 31 days, in March he died.

 

That cruise in Oct meant a lot to him, even if maybe he should not have gone. My mom had her doubts about going because of his health, but was glad they did. She said as she held him while he was dying she thought how glad she was he got that cruise because he had such a fun time.

 

Sometimes we have to live and take the chance. Just be sure you have all her information, such as doctor contact, medical information, prescriptions, including extra in case something gets lost.

 

Doctors can be over protective, but then I dont know her issues and am not a doctor so cant tell you what is best. This is between you and your mom. If she really wants this trip and her health is not good, would you regret not taking her if say a year later she is unable to travel at all? I personally would go and give her this trip while she is still able to travel, sure it might be hard on her, but sounds like she is aware of the possibilities.

[Steamboatin]

First of all it is not your choice.

 

It is your Mother's choice.

 

Let her make up her own mind. It is her life not yours.

 

If she cannot make up her mind than in reality she has decided not to go.

 

So giver her a definite date for her to give you a definite answer.

 

That way no one can blame you as it was her choice.

[newmexicoNita]

Just a couple of thoughts here:

 

1-as for insurance, yes, you can, most of the companies will allow even pre-exisiting if you book and purchase the insurance at the same time. Talk to your travel agent about this.

 

2-If the doctor has advised her not to do this you have to think about why he said that. It could be due to the long flights, being so far from home, maybe he is protecting hisself as we all know how suit happy people are. Regardless, what about looking into a cruise closer to home. Even if she has her heart set on this itieneray and it sounds like a good one, there are many others: Canada, New England, even Hawaii where she would be closer to home and if something did go wrong she could be evacuated easier. Look at these and see if you can work out a compromise. Even the Caribbean might be great if she has never traveled much. NMnita

[crackycruiser]

I am so sorry for your problem. I kinda have been through this myself when my mother wanted to travel when she was unable. The guilt was unbearable but travel was out of the question. I believe under no circumstances should you take your mother on this cruise. Never mind the fact that you are taking her out of the United States. How would you feel if she became very ill and now your in a foreign country trying to get specialized medical care and you are unable to get your mother the care that she needs and something really bad happens. I would talk personally to her doctor to listen to his/her explanation of why your mother shouldn't go and if you trust the doctor's judgement under no circumstances would I take her on this cruise. It's a hard decision, but it would be the right decision in my opinion. Come up with some other creative way that you can do something special for your mother. Let us know your decision. Take care, Pam

[dawna1212]

Thank you all for your opinions.

I just got off the phone with my mother.

i asked her "what exactly does the doctor think could happen"?

 

She said "he is afraid I will have a stroke or heart attack or go into a diabetic coma".

 

She has had mini strokes and heart problems in the past.

Her diabetis(spelled wrong) is bad,and she has hi/low blood pressure.

 

She told me today that on the 28th of Dec,she thinks she had another mini stroke. The one before that was a year/year and a half ago.

 

She says she has her good days and her bad.

 

This trip is a gift to her,so she wont be paying for anything.

 

She has Kaiser Insurance and she said they will reimburse her for any medical cost.(she has to pay the bill first though)

 

If I got travel insurance that covers pre exesting medical problems,does that mean that they cover medical evacuations/hospital stays even though her doctor was againest her traveling?

 

I thought a cruise would be best so it would be easier on her.

(her walking is slower now too)

She could "rest" on the ship and then we could see Ireland on the shore excursions.

 

Nitra,Im so sorry about you losing your dad.

Im glad he had a wonderful time on the cruise.

 

Ireland is the only place she has ever wanted to see,so taking her elsewhere just wouldnt do.(thank you for your suggestion though)

 

Maybe i will look into going for just a few days.

 

I am still at a loss,and I have a headache now.

 

Thank you all so much with your thoughts and advice.

 

Donna

[Seago2]

Most travel insurance will cover pre-existing as long as you purchase it within so many days of making the deposit.

 

My step dad had a lot of health issues, we took him on a cruise in October, had to get him a wheelchair to get around the ship, he found getting off a bit too hard so stayed on board and enjoyed the scenery from the ship. He really enjoyed himself. It was me, my mom, him, and about 17 of my friends.

 

In Feb he was hospitalized for 31 days, in March he died.

 

That cruise in Oct meant a lot to him, even if maybe he should not have gone. My mom had her doubts about going because of his health, but was glad they did. She said as she held him while he was dying she thought how glad she was he got that cruise because he had such a fun time.

 

Nitra, that's such a sad/sweet story. It makes me remember how great it was to take my kids on a cruise, even though it nearly broke the bank. They will never forget it and neither will I. Cruising is so imporatnt for the time it gives you with family- yet the freedom to be on your own.

[chasetf]

Life is a risk.... I say if she wants to go... take her.

 

With insurance, it will give you peace of mind if you have to depart the cruise. It is something you both will hold as a fond memory for the rest of both of your lives.

 

My neighbor and close friend who is 46 years old has ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). It has progressed at an alarming rate..... but he and his family did their first cruise a few months ago, even with the risks associated with his disease. I truly hope he and his family will be able to do it at least one more time..... but if not, I know they will cherish that memory.

[on board]

You know Donna this is a difficult decision only you can make. I know where you are coming from as my family and I are sort of dealing with something like this.

If your mom has a sound mind then she can certainly make up her own mind. What ever she chooses you will have to accept and you have to tell yourself that she is getting older she knows she does not have a life time left anymore and you certainly want her to be happy and to live for the quality of life and quantity. If it were me I would take her, make sure she takes time to relax and rest through out the day. I know that if it were me I would treasure every moment you have with her on this cruise and especially all the memories you will make.

Also, before you go I would also talk to her Doctor and try to find out anything you need to do to make her more comfortable in any way.

 

Good luck and I hope you enjoy your cruise

[Kwaj girl]

"Trip insurance" policies cover verying levels of expense for med-evacs, and from Europe the cost of a med-evac can be quite hefty! There is a company out there that is great for med-evacs if that is your only concern at this point; look at http://www.medjetassist.com

They do not exclude preexisting conditions and have different plans depending on the length of your trip.

Best of luck to you.

[iamtrustworthy]

Just a couple of thoughts here:

 

1-as for insurance, yes, you can, most of the companies will allow even pre-existing if you book and purchase the insurance at the same time. Talk to your travel agent about this.

 

Hi Donna,

 

I'm sorry to hear about your Mom, though I hope she gets to go on this trip many others in the future.

 

You can buy travel insurance, but you'll have a problem at claim time because her doctor has advised her not to travel. When you but it doesn't matter because the "Medically Stable" rules override the deadline.

 

If your travel agent tells you it's covered anyway, be sure to get them to put that in writing because you might need it.

 

I hope this helps.

[Nitra]

Thank you all for your opinions.

I just got off the phone with my mother.

i asked her "what exactly does the doctor think could happen"?

 

She said "he is afraid I will have a stroke or heart attack or go into a diabetic coma".

 

She has had mini strokes and heart problems in the past.

Her diabetis(spelled wrong) is bad,and she has hi/low blood pressure.

 

She told me today that on the 28th of Dec,she thinks she had another mini stroke. The one before that was a year/year and a half ago.

 

She says she has her good days and her bad.

 

This trip is a gift to her,so she wont be paying for anything.

 

She has Kaiser Insurance and she said they will reimburse her for any medical cost.(she has to pay the bill first though)

 

If I got travel insurance that covers pre exesting medical problems,does that mean that they cover medical evacuations/hospital stays even though her doctor was againest her traveling?

 

I thought a cruise would be best so it would be easier on her.

(her walking is slower now too)

She could "rest" on the ship and then we could see Ireland on the shore excursions.

 

Nitra,Im so sorry about you losing your dad.

Im glad he had a wonderful time on the cruise.

 

Ireland is the only place she has ever wanted to see,so taking her elsewhere just wouldnt do.(thank you for your suggestion though)

 

 

Donna

 

My step dad was diabetic too! So severly they were ready to take his feet, he also had spinal stenosis, heart and liver problems, blood pressure problems, the list is long. His feet would go numb and he would collapse without warning.

 

I just talked to my mom, told her about this post, her opinion, TAKE YOUR MOM on the cruise. She said your mom is old enough to make her own decisions, and if this is what she wants, then she should be given this trip.

 

If she has never traveled overseas, the flight and then adjusting to the time, for just a few days, not worth it in my opinion. Like she said, at least on the ship she can go to the cabin and rest. Also wont have to wonder where you will eat, if she needs medical, you will have someone at your fingertips and not have to wonder how to locate a doctor. You can also request her a wheelchair just in case she gets tired of walking around and then you can push her and let her enjoy the ship.

[Kwaj girl]

"Trip insurance" policies cover verying levels of expense for med-evacs, and from Europe the cost of a med-evac can be quite hefty! There is a company out there that is great for med-evacs if that is your only concern at this point; look at http://www.medjetassist.com

They do not exclude preexisting conditions and have different plans depending on the length of your trip.

Best of luck to you.

[bdcbbq]

Don't forget the probability that YOU MIGHT NOT NEED THE INSURANCE and everything will be OK.

 

My philosophy of life would make me go. I would rather die doing than wishing I had done.

[Nitra]

Don't forget the probability that YOU MIGHT NOT NEED THE INSURANCE and everything will be OK.

 

My philosophy of life would make me go. I would rather die doing than wishing I had done.

 

 

I am so with you on that!

 

Life is just too short to not do those things you really want.

[0ldog]

I vote with steamboatin, it's your mom's decision.

 

We are taking my mom on a Southern Caribbean itinerary in two weeks for her 90th birthday. Does she have health issues, sure who doesn't have some at 90, but she wants to go. Her last cruise was 12/4/21 when she immigrated from Scotland.

 

I hope you both enjoy the vacation.

[wraithe]

I have to go with steamboatin, your Mom's an adult and as such will have to make up her own mind. I also vote with the others who have said, and I'm paraphrasing here, why not? If she has a stroke/heart/any other medical problem onboard ship, would she not have had it while on land? Would it be worse onboard ship, that's what you have to decide on. Personally, if I'd never been cruising, and had the opportunity to go to the one place that I'd always wanted to visit, I'd tell my doctor to have a nice, big, refreshing can of GetOverIt, and buy my tickets. Good luck with yours and your Mom's decisions. Happy sailing.

[newmexicoNita]

Old Dog, good for you and for mom. On our last cruise there was a lady 95. I am sure she had health issues but she seemed to be enjoying herself none the less. OP, I still think if it were me, I would try and talk to her doctor, but I also feel it is up to your mom. If this is her dream, then go for it. NMnita

[dawna1212]

Thanks again for the advice/opinions.

 

I have decided to take my mother.

 

I have also decided to take her on the May 17th cruise(Scotland & Ireland) instead of the Sept cruise.

 

She is very happy and I am at peace with my decision.

 

Just wanted to update..

 

Happy Sailings to everyone!

 

Donna

[dawna1212]

I posted a message,but it didnt go through...

So Im trying this again.

 

I wanted to thank you all again.

 

I have decided to take my mother.

 

I have also decided to book an earlier cruise,so she doesnt have to wait so long.

We will be on the Scotland and Ireland cruise(May 17th)

 

She is very happy and I am at peace with my decision.

 

Just wanted to update..

 

Happy Sailings to everyone!

 

Donna

[cusyl]

I'm glad you have decided to take the cruise. Be sure and get a wheelchair for her for the trip to avoid any unnecessary stress.

Take copies of her medical records and prescriptions so if she has a problem the ship's doctor will have the needed information to treat her.

 

Be sure and purchase the insurance just in case, some health insurance companies do not cover out of the country.

 

Will you have to fly at all? if so take special care about blood clots in the legs, etc.

 

Enjoy your special time with your Mother.

[cusyl]

I m happy you are taking her on the cruise. Be sure and take a copy of her medical records for the onboard physician in case he would need to treat her. Also, take a copy of her prescriptions.

By all means take a wheelchair to keep her from getting too tired during the trip.

[cusyl]

By all means, take a wheelchair to avoid any added stress on her.

Also, take a copy of her medical records and prescriptions in case she needs to be treated by the physician on the ship.