Funny Cruise Stories?

[Robin7]

Please share something funny that has happened to you on a cruise.

 

Here's one of mine:

 

Last year our family gave us a cruise to the Mexican Riviera for our 20th anniversary. We were on the Star Princess with an outside cabin whose view was partially obstructed by one of the tenders. I loved having the window so we could look out at the sea. I never closed the drapes during the day. One afternoon, I took a shower in preparation for getting ready for dinner and came out of the bathroom in all my nakedness and looked right into the eyes of a crewman sitting in the driver's seat of the tender!!! :eek: I hit the floor so fast you'd have thought I was a marine told to give my drill sergeant 100 pushups for some infraction! My husband, who had been lying on the bed reading and hadn't noticed the crewman, laughed and laughed and laughed. You can bet I never left the drapes open while showering again!

 

Robin

[allen.crawford]

Actually we have quite a few interesting stories, mostly from our last cruise.

 

Here is one of them (but not the most "interesting").

 

We travel with a GPS that I normally use for getting driving directions from point A to point B (I use to do a lot of business travel throughout North America). One early morning, we (my wife and I) were near the bow of the ship looking out over the ocean determining what land we were seeing on the horizon when I was tapped on the shoulder.

 

I turned to be greeted by the Third Officer who had the navigation charts in hand. He said to me, in a pleasant British accent, "The lads and I were wondering if you could tell me where we are?"

 

Needless to say, I took this lightly and chatted a bit about how they navigate, what speed they travel (since I had noticed the speed varying at times) and other topics of interest to me.

 

He then interrupted me and asked again,"SO where do you think we are?"

 

I pointed at the chart based loosely upon my quick assessment, rather than taking an actual reading.

 

That wasn't the end of it.

 

At the start of the second week at sea, we had another life boat orientation. Well, if wouldn't you know, but at our station was the same 3rd Officer. So when we were heading back to our staterooms, I caught his eye and asked him, "So do the life boats have GPS equipment on board?"

 

He replied, "Not as good as yours Sir. And, oh, by the way, we are famous!"

 

He then went on to say, "When you pointed at the chart, the lads snapped a digital picture then e-mailed it to head office with a caption, 'When in doubt, the 3rd Officer consults passengers for directions'!"

 

I may let you in on the "scavenger hunt" story later.

[obriendan]

A story to show that no good deed goes unpunished! We arrived at embarkation for our b-to-b Zuiderdam cruises last May at about 11:15 AM just before the doors opened to join about 30 other early arrivers. I had in a large bottle of red wine in my carryon. Just as the line began to move and I had picked up my carryon bag, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that an elderly lady had tripped on the curb. I placed my bag down not gently enough to go to assist her. I opened the bag and tried to remove the broken bottle with little success. The line was now moving and I travelled into the terminal leaving a trail of red behind. My immigration forms and other documents were turned in with a definite rose tinge. Finally I had to empty the bag and use a HAL supplied garbage bag to transport the other contents onto the ship. A real classy way to begin our cruise!

[Cary T]

I have a second-hand story from a friend whose friend had been a volunteer for the hypnotist who performed on the ship. The man was totally unaware of all he had done during the performance and,later at dinner, his wife was filling him in on his performance when the cruise directors voice came over the intercom in the dining room and the man jumped up on his chair and shouted "I'm the Captain of the ship!Corn dogs for EVERYONE!!" whereupon he sat down sheepishly to the roar in the dining room for the post-hypnotic suggestion he had been left with. The hypnotist had told him that ,at the sound of the cruise directors voice , he was to jump up on the nearest chair and shout this out. Evidently it took 2 or 3 days for it to wear off!

[CanSail]

Oh I am enjoying this thread so much...please tell more while I wipe the tears from my eyes.

Thank you fellow cruise lovers for such wonderful stories.

Happy Sailing To All

[michmike]

don't know if the censors will let me get away with this one or not. But worth a try.... 2 cruises ago we had a great couple in their 90s at our table. Still very with it but both slowed a bit physically and using canes to get around. As we did first nite intros he introduced themselves as "2 jews from joisey" Jo and Vi were everywhere on the ship and talked with everyone. Always at the midnite buffet, out and about on every island. Vi would swim 20 laps in the pool everyday with her bathing cap and goggles and she did this with one arm as she had limited use of the other due to a stroke. It was Hannukah and he was acting as the cantor for services onboard and would regale us at dinner with his singing.

 

Last nite on board we were sitting with the two of them in the area by the front desk, my wife chatting with Vi and I was chatting with Joe. Two young ladies in their 20s stopped to visit with Joe and clearly knew him from his circuit around the ship. As they wandered off, Joe gave me an elbow in the ribs and said "Do you notice how all the women stop and talk with me?" I told him that I was impressed and he asked "do you know why that is?" I smiled and said no I didn't. He just winked and deadpanned back at me "Words out that I've got a long cane!!"

 

Only hope that DW and I are still able to get around and enjoy life as much as the two of them when we are in our 90s

[Bill S]

I was in the ship's infirmary and the ship's doctor, a very nice lady doc, was counting out a 10-day supply of antibiotic tablets to give me. She was using a little stick like pharmacists use to count and shuffle the pills into an envelope which she held against the lip of the counter. One of the pills overshot the envelope and fell onto the floor. I asked her if the "3-second rule" applied? She looked at me and said something like, "Bill, it's an antibiotic, get over it!" Both myself and the nurse broke out laughing and. . . . . . I got better! :)

[elmorejj]

On our April Zaandam cruise, the first cruise for us since they had stopped allowing pax to purchase liquor in the shops for cabin consumption, I had gone to the OB for a drink. I called my dw to join me, and while we were there he purchased a bottle of Bacardi and 3 cokes. The whistles went for muster so we headed to our cabin to don our life jackets. On the way we got separated and evidently my husband had forgotten the cabin number. I headed to the muster station expecting him to follow. Well about halfway into the instructions, here comes my DH walking with his cane, with a bottle of Bacardi in his other hand, 3 cokes in his pockets and no life jacket. The officer giving us instructions told him that it was not neccessary for him to supply the crew with drinks but to remember his life jacket next time! I was so embarrassed I didn`t know where to look! All through that 21 day cruise, people would stop and ask him if he had finished that bottle of Bacardi yet!!....jean :cool:

[OCruisers]

Great Thread! I've been laughing out loud! LOL! LOL!

 

My favorite is the time my DH when to get Bloody Marys for us to enjoy on our balcony. It was the FIRST morning of our cruise. Our room steward noticed DH's hands were full of Bloody Marys (he bought 4 so he wouldn't have go back quickly ) :D ... and helpfully opened the cabin door.

 

DH went in and immediately set down two of the Bloody Marys. He was planning to bring mine on the balcony. Unfortunately, it was not our cabin! :eek: Fortunately, the other couple was on their balcony and didn't notice him because they were way too preoccupied with OTHER THINGS! :p

 

In his haste to make a quick exit he LEFT two of the Bloody Marys! They must still wonder how those two Bloody Marys macigally appeared in their cabin !! :D

 

Happy Sailing! OCruisers :)

[dakrewser]

These are, indeed, great stories! I hesitate to add my own meagre offerings but...

 

**:) **

We were on a cruise to Alaska and our first port was Ketchikan. We got off the ship and met our tour guide a few feet away. As the tour group gathered, everyone looked (well, gawked) at the scenery, the mountains, etc. When the guide asked "any questions?" One man asked "HOw high up are we here?" The tour guide walked a couple of steps to the edge of the dock, looked down, then turned and replied "about 18 inches, sir!"

 

**:) **

We were on a no smoking cruise, and one passenger had been detected lighting up on his balcony. He was in the purser's office getting the riot act read (but, very politely) when he yelled out "Do you know who I am? I'm an Alabama curcuit court judge!" The purser replied, "but we're in Greece, now, sir."

 

**:) **

On every cruise where we can get a table for two, my wife and I will sit in the same seats the first three nights, then switch for the next three. New stewards are surprised, old hands aren't. But at least once during the cruise we'll each order the same dish (say, lobster tails :) ). When the steward brings the plates, he'll invariably turn to my wife and say "lobster tails, madame?" and I'll chime in with "No, I had the lobster tails". He'll turn to me, start to put the plate down with a quizzical look on his face, then slowly the smile will spread as he realizes wgat's happened!

**:) **

 

-dave

[DFD1]

I love this stuff. Keep 'em coming. Thanks for the laughs.

[Vicar]

Although this didn't happen on a cruise it did happen on vacation so I hope it counts.

 

Before GF(now fiance) and I started dating, her and her friend went to Flkorida on vacation. They were laying out by the pool when this older guy (He was in his 50s, Gf and her friend were like 23) He started chatting with them and he was pleasent enough. Pretty soon the conversation was getting a little weird. He said they were really pretty and wondered if they were strippers , and then he wanted to know if BOTH of them wanted to party with him. Anyway it got weird and they just packed thier stuff and left.

 

Next day they are walking around the hotel and they pass one of the conference rooms and there is a man speaking at a podium to a large group of people. Well sure enough the guy at the podium was the guy who tried to pick them up. The best part was this was some type of Marriage enrichment seminar and this guy is up there spouting off the 12 steps to a better healthier marriage , and that him and his wife have been in this program for ten years and their marriage is better than ever after 30 something years.

 

Gf and her friend were just hysterical. They really wanted to bump into that guy again someplace at the resort with his wife and tell him they caught his speech and how moving it was and how inspired they were by it. just to see the guy sweat it out. But alas they never saw him again

[Orcrone]

Vicar. That was your fiance and her friend!!!!:eek:

 

Just kidding.:D

[Vicar]

Orcrone,

 

Yea that was the girl I am marrying and her girlfriend when they went on vacation , This was before I even met here though. *LOL*

 

 

And you are worried if she knows what SHE is getting into with me .*LOL*

 

Believe me we have swapped past dating and relationship stories with eachother and she scares me sometimes *LOL*

 

After all that life with me will be a walk in the park *LOL*

[jane2go]

Years ago I was on a cruise and was seated at a table for 8. We went around the table and did introductions, telling a little bit about ourselves. A man across the table told us he was a travel agent and had been going on free cruises five or six times a year for over 20 years! He also told us he was a recovering alcoholic and had over 20 years of sobriety! We all applauded his great accomplishment and talked at length about the affects of the disease on so many of our families, etc.. When the waiter came to take our dinner orders, he ordered a bottle of wine! When asked about that, he said that he "only drinks when he is on a cruise"! He then got sloppy drunk and very obnoxious, and we changed tables the next night. Sort of like calories not counting when you're on vacation . . . .

[RevNeal]

Did anyone save the "Rude Passengers" thread from several months back ...before the conversion of the thread over to the new servers? There were some great stories there.

[Vicar]

Rev,

 

I don't remember that one, it might have been before I started coming hre .

 

I bet thre were some good ones on that thread :)

[debblue]

a few cruises back while riding on the elevator an elderly couple stepped in the elevator and were contuining (spelling)a conversation as to where their cabin was, it seems they knew the deck they were on by the colors of the carpeting of the decks, though during this day the crew staff were changing carpeting on all the floors,needless to say the couple were trying to find their cabin, i asked them if they had stopped at the front desk to get their cabin number and they refused stating" i know its here somewhere and we will find it on our own. I have alwayys wondered if they ever found their cabin as i never saw they the entire cruise!!!!!!!!!As a note- don't remember your carpet floor covering as it might change while on a cruise !!!!!!!

[sea-n-me]

Last May on the Zuiderdam, last night of our cruise.......my husband is putting out our luggage into the hall. He is clad only in his undershorts (I have no clue why). The door shuts on him. He is standing in the hallway in only his underwear. I am oblivious to all of this as I am sitting out on the verandah enjoying our last night at sea. He tries pounding on the door (which I cannot hear). People are walking down the hall staring at him (poor man!) He goes down two cabins to where our friends are staying. They open the door and there he is standing half naked. They let him in (what good friends!) They try calling our cabin (which again I cannot hear). Finally, I hear a voice calling my name....I get up and lean over the railing. There are my friends leaning over their's trying to get my attention to let my poor husband back into our cabin!

[OCruisers]

sea-in-me .... Too Funny! :D

 

You really can't hear a thing out on those balconies! (Did the same thing to my DH once ... but, at least, he was in his bathing suit and not his "birthday suit" !!!

 

Happy Sailing! OCruisers :)

[Cary T]

There must be more stories out there. Don't let this one die!

[petlover]

Sea-n-me,

That is hilareous!! I can only imagine how your poor husband felt! Thank goodness you had friends near-by! :D

[pollux]

Picture this: 1963 Atlantic crossing N.Y.- Rotterdam. No Island stopping just the crossing. All Dutch crew.

About the 3th day out off N.Y. the Captain Announment: At 11 am the mail boat will be at starboard.

Yes, all the first time crossers were there (looking for the mail boat) me included.

[OCruisers]

This is either FUNNY or a WARNING ... ?!!!

 

A couple we met left their balcony door open and their curtains wide open! When they arrived at their port the next bright sunny morning, they had 4 SEA GULLS in their cabin! :eek:

[vjb223]

We were on a cruise once with a friend who loved shoes, she took a extra suitcase just for her shoes that matched each outfit. On the last nite when packing she packed everything (all shoes included) and had to walk off the ship the next morning barefooted. Everyone in our group laughed and her. Another one is one couple same cruise had their luggage picked up by someone else (same color and size)- we stopped to eat at a Cracker Barrel on the way home and a man came up and asked if this person (named) was there. We had on group theme cruise shirts. We said yes and they replied I have your luggage do you have mine??? they contacted the ship and got theirs later , small world. He got his luggage back and our friend got his back at cracker barrel .