Completely Depressed & Frustrated...HELP!

[Gathina]

Ok..where is everyone??

 

Got an email from Private Eye yesterday. Have been keeping myself superbusy so I don't "think" about him. Nice email, but said he has been thinking alot about me and him and us not being able to see each other too much (due to our schedules, mostly mine) has helped him think clearly about "us" and which way we should proceed..and that he'd call me this week so we could get together.

 

Did I tell you guys this...when we were at the beach last week with PI I got an "emergency" call (not really) from a colleague regarding this woman I treated 1x that had been in the system for years, threatening to kill herself but never did nor even remotely tried. The colleague was new to the case and the dynamics. I directed her on what to do with the woman, but the colleague was trying to get ME to infringe on my scheduled time off so SHE wouldn't have to deal with it. Finally, I said "You know something, if Mrs. X really wants to kill herself this time, please tell her she has to wait until I get back to the office on Thursday". That ended that, and PI was like "OMG, did you just tell that woman to wait until Thu. to kill herself?" The ironic thing was, within 10 minutes the lady was fine!

 

I dunno..this taking it slow thing is kinda new to me, either that or I forgot how to do it! My guts says that when I return from my month away that's when everything will take off.

 

I splurged and bought a $130 bathing suit from Macy's..Kenneth Cole..oh my gosh, I didn't have PTSD when I put it on and it's WORTH every penny. Never in my life did I ever spend that much on a suit!

 

My friend's hubby started taking 3tbsp of coconut oil per day and didn't change anything and he lost 30 lbs in two months. I did it and all the clothes I bought last week are "hanging" from me. I have no idea what is in that stuff but it did something to me and it doesn't taste too bad. Read a lot of stuff about it on the internet. Hey, if it works....

 

 

 

Not sure. He doesn't get home until sometime on Sunday, and this is his "off" weekend (no kids) so the following weekend would be at most, a Sunday evening date again.

 

 

 

Breathe slowly....you are doing the right thing to go slow.

 

And good luck with that....I've been there. :D:D

[Chigirlcruzin]

Coconut oil? hmmmm....

 

So, I hadn't heard from the guy in a while, and I was starting to get a little freaked. My friends urged me to call, so I did and left a vm. Called me back a little while later. Well, the reason I hadn't heard from him...he'd gone overseas. Last we spoke, he had a phone interview with an international company with the CEO and CFO. The interview went well, so they flew him to London to interview in person last week. So, he's not sure if he'd take it, but it would require an overseas move. Just wait and see. Looks like we're going to get together this weekend.

 

In the meantime, I was at a St Patrick's Day party this weekend and ran into a guy I met at the same party last year. I gave the guy my number last year but he never called. So this year he gave me his number and asked to call so he'd have my number. Lo and behold, my name pops up. So I ask why he didn't call. He thought I was just giving my number to humor him, and didn't think I'd actually go out with him. He called yesterday, and we're going to get together next week.

[happysinglemom]

Coconut oil? Yikes...I don't think I could handle that! :D

 

M, sounds like that lady just needed attention - what a PITA. Good for you!

I don't blame you at all on the suit. I bought 2 bikini suits 4 years ago, and they were $100 each, but they fit like a dream, so they were worth it to me!!

Hang in there, PI is bound to have some time off soon!

 

Chi, you go girl! Definitely agree with not hanging back waiting. He really could have let you know he was going out of the country.

 

I have a date with the lawyer tomorrow. Was supposed to be just a St. Paddy's celebration thing - you know, meet down at the beach at the Irish pub and have a couple of green beers. He called me tonight and suggested that he take me to dinner first as the pub might be too crowded. I thought that was nice, and I agreed. But now we are going to the Bonefish Grill - which I have always wanted to go to, but darn it what I was GONNA wear to the the pub (my only true green) just won't do for the restaurant. :( So now I have to figure out what the heck to wear. Shoot.

[Chigirlcruzin]

It would have been nice if he had let me know, but he really doesn't owe me anything.

 

5 more weeks til my cruise and I have to get my butt in the gym...

[Gathina]

It actually tastes very good..and it goes down easy. But it's working!!

 

I dunno about PI...how slow is too slow??? Or maybe it's just that I am used to things being so darn fast???

 

 

 

Coconut oil? Yikes...I don't think I could handle that! :D

 

M, sounds like that lady just needed attention - what a PITA. Good for you!

I don't blame you at all on the suit. I bought 2 bikini suits 4 years ago, and they were $100 each, but they fit like a dream, so they were worth it to me!!

Hang in there, PI is bound to have some time off soon!

 

Chi, you go girl! Definitely agree with not hanging back waiting. He really could have let you know he was going out of the country.

 

I have a date with the lawyer tomorrow. Was supposed to be just a St. Paddy's celebration thing - you know, meet down at the beach at the Irish pub and have a couple of green beers. He called me tonight and suggested that he take me to dinner first as the pub might be too crowded. I thought that was nice, and I agreed. But now we are going to the Bonefish Grill - which I have always wanted to go to, but darn it what I was GONNA wear to the the pub (my only true green) just won't do for the restaurant. :( So now I have to figure out what the heck to wear. Shoot.

[happysinglemom]

It actually tastes very good..and it goes down easy. But it's working!!

 

I dunno about PI...how slow is too slow??? Or maybe it's just that I am used to things being so darn fast???

 

"Slow" to me, would be seeing each other once a week, no "spooning" ;) for a few weeks. But you aren't seeing him anywhere near that...I'd be a little frustrated too. I don't think slow means not seeing each other...not the same thing at all. This is our 4th date tonight...and I can tell you I'm pretty sure that if the evening ended up at one of our houses (it won't), we'd wind up, well, we'd be wound up - ha! But thankfully, we both have kids at home, and that will keep us from moving things too fast. Otherwise I know I'd never last.:rolleyes:

[Gathina]

I dunno..we make it about every 10-14 days due to our schedules. I have been ok with this but all of a sudden I'm not. I dont know if it's a hangover from Dogboy, and I remember that I HAVE to go slow. We have never spooned, have had some very nice long goodnight kisses and have talked alot about keeping the passion thing under control.

 

There is a big part of me that is about to call him and just tell him I thnk it's best to part ways because I am wondering if it is going to stay this way, and in the end I don't want another guy "friend" as I have a lot of those. His words: when we became friends he never thought he'd develop feelings for me, and so quickly and it's thrown him for a loop and he's trying to figure out what to do. He also said he spoke to his older kids about how they felt about him dating.

 

In the end I am wondering if I am the problem with myself. People have a right to be who they are, and he has been nothing but honest with me so it's up to me to decide to flip or fly I guess.

 

 

"Slow" to me, would be seeing each other once a week, no "spooning" ;) for a few weeks. But you aren't seeing him anywhere near that...I'd be a little frustrated too. I don't think slow means not seeing each other...not the same thing at all. This is our 4th date tonight...and I can tell you I'm pretty sure that if the evening ended up at one of our houses (it won't), we'd wind up, well, we'd be wound up - ha! But thankfully, we both have kids at home, and that will keep us from moving things too fast. Otherwise I know I'd never last.:rolleyes:

[happysinglemom]

II am wondering if it is going to stay this way, and in the end I don't want another guy "friend" as I have a lot of those. His words: when we became friends he never thought he'd develop feelings for me, and so quickly and it's thrown him for a loop and he's trying to figure out what to do.

 

I think you need to talk, and tell him exactly this. If he isn't sure what direction it is that he is headed, then maybe you should cool it until he does. Man friends are fine, but not when you have such an attraction to them!! :D

[Gathina]

Well, thats exactly what I am thinking..it's just "when". I am not a phone caller of men, and rarely call.

 

I don't think I should be thinking about anything anyway, due to the recent ending of things with Dogboy. What I'd like to do is try to let this go until vacation is over..I leave on 4/2...he said for sure we will see each other before then and will have to make our schedules work..and we are already in the "cooling off" period but I am dying inside LOL. If I am dying inside he probably is too. He asked me where I was going to be in Jamaica in case he decides to go over there and find me..which would be very easy to do, 200.00 and you're there from Florida.

 

I think I am the problem, not him. He's done nothing wrong. Its my fear of commitment and rejection kickig in,I think. I have nothing negative to say about him.

 

I think you need to talk, and tell him exactly this. If he isn't sure what direction it is that he is headed, then maybe you should cool it until he does. Man friends are fine, but not when you have such an attraction to them!! :D

[Brenda33]

Where does one get this cocunut oil?

[Gathina]

I buy mine at Whole Foods Market, and I only buy organic and make sure its pure 100% oil. I take 3 tbsp per day. Have no idea how it made my stomach flat but it did LOL. My friend the male model tells me he even noticed.

 

Ok..so I am off this afternoon..had a texting fest with PI..he is in Jacksonville 5 hours away on business and returns tomororw. Said he hasn't forgotten me, he has been so busy with work as he is trying to "rearrange some things in his life" (I didn't ask) but when he is back tomorrow or the day after we will have a "big chunk" of time together and he also reminded me he will not forget me when I am gone for the month.

 

I feel better but I have been whiney all day...LOL..this song came on at Starbucks saying "If he's going slow, it doesn't mean he's going to go"..ARRGGGGHHHHH!!! :eek:

 

 

Where does one get this cocunut oil?

[Brenda33]

How long did it take to see a change?

[Gathina]

For me a couple days.

 

But it's not a miracle thing, I dont think, for everyone. There's a lot of stuff on the internet about it, some have gained weight from it. Chuck my friend lost 30 lbs in two months. For me, I dropped a couple in a couple days then 5 for the week but now I am steady. Your body seems to know how to use it and when.

 

I'm not surprised that it works. Coconuts are huge all over the east and west indies and south america. We grew up drinking the water straight from the coconut and eating the jelly from it. Americans wreck it by adding stuff to it.

 

How long did it take to see a change?

[happysinglemom]

So much for my earlier post. There was a line to get in the Irish pub last night a mile long!! And another line at the next place we tried. And it was too cold to stand in line, so he asked if I wanted to go to his house and have a beer instead.

 

Yeah. I pulled a Leslie. Out the freakin' door. :rolleyes:

[Gathina]

OMG!!! Am I the only one still holding out??!!

 

I heard from PI yesterday.,seems like he is trying to line things up in his life to accommodate a dating relationship with me. He has been on assignment this week so said he's due back today or tomorrow then we will get together.

 

So much for my earlier post. There was a line to get in the Irish pub last night a mile long!! And another line at the next place we tried. And it was too cold to stand in line, so he asked if I wanted to go to his house and have a beer instead.

 

Yeah. I pulled a Leslie. Out the freakin' door. :rolleyes:

[happysinglemom]

OMG!!! Am I the only one still holding out??!!

 

I heard from PI yesterday.,seems like he is trying to line things up in his life to accommodate a dating relationship with me. He has been on assignment this week so said he's due back today or tomorrow then we will get together.

 

Yeah...I would have bet money against the night turning out like that...especially on a weeknight. Thank goodness my son is a sound sleeper...he'd have been questioning the hell out of me if he had been awake when I got home. :o

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - it's sounding like he's definitely working on "things".

[Gathina]

We should have bet money..because I would have thought I'd be the first one to cave in! Are you feeilng weirded out about everything now?

 

I have my 31 year old model friend, but he doesn't count!!

 

Yeah...I would have bet money against the night turning out like that...especially on a weeknight. Thank goodness my son is a sound sleeper...he'd have been questioning the hell out of me if he had been awake when I got home. :o

 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you - it's sounding like he's definitely working on "things".

[happysinglemom]

We should have bet money..because I would have thought I'd be the first one to cave in! Are you feeilng weirded out about everything now?

 

 

No..actually not at all - this one is serious, for now at least. :o He was quite open last night about what he wants...we talked a lot. He was trying to figure out how we could spend an entire night together what with our different "kid schedules". :p He says I've thrown his entire dating plan out of kilter. LOL He had no expectations of this, so soon, and gosh neither did I. We are going to get together Sunday night...he is taping our favorite show tonight so I can go to bed early and we can watch it together on Sunday.

 

He's a sweetheart - he really is. Scares me a little because he hasn't dated hardly at all since his divorce a year ago...I guess I'd feel better if he had "sowed more oats" if that makes any sense.

[Gathina]

Coming from the shrink perspective, I think it's GOOD he hasn't dated hardly at all since his divorce a year ago. To me it means he's taken time to grieve the loss and put himself in a better position emotionally. I've read a lot of research and it's commonly recommended in some circles to wait a year or two before dating..of course it depends on the person, but I see this all as a green light thing.

 

In many ways he sounds like PI..I am feeling better about things tonite. I am the one who still has to sort out some inner mental crap post Dogboy so in some ways I think PI is doing me a favor.

 

You know, some meat tastes better when it's made in the crockpot instead of stir-fried, right? :D

 

Where's Mother Smooth? She hasn't checked in :)

 

No..actually not at all - this one is serious, for now at least. :o He was quite open last night about what he wants...we talked a lot. He was trying to figure out how we could spend an entire night together what with our different "kid schedules". :p He says I've thrown his entire dating plan out of kilter. LOL He had no expectations of this, so soon, and gosh neither did I. We are going to get together Sunday night...he is taping our favorite show tonight so I can go to bed early and we can watch it together on Sunday.

 

He's a sweetheart - he really is. Scares me a little because he hasn't dated hardly at all since his divorce a year ago...I guess I'd feel better if he had "sowed more oats" if that makes any sense.

[happysinglemom]

Coming from the shrink perspective, I think it's GOOD he hasn't dated hardly at all since his divorce a year ago. To me it means he's taken time to grieve the loss and put himself in a better position emotionally. I've read a lot of research and it's commonly recommended in some circles to wait a year or two before dating..of course it depends on the person, but I see this all as a green light thing.

 

In many ways he sounds like PI..I am feeling better about things tonite. I am the one who still has to sort out some inner mental crap post Dogboy so in some ways I think PI is doing me a favor.

 

You know, some meat tastes better when it's made in the crockpot instead of stir-fried, right? :D

 

 

Where's Mother Smooth? She hasn't checked in :)

 

He went out on ONE date...ONE, either right after or right before our first meeting. I guess I'm thinking he needed to do more of that to make sure he knows what he wants. But I do agree; I am very heartened to know that he isn't one of those that starts dating as soon as they are separated.:rolleyes: He's a devoted dad - and that means a lot to me.

 

Yeah where IS Smooth? And Leslie...is she on a trip?

 

Glad you are feeling better...I agree - sometimes we just need an "off" switch to let things settle a bit!!

[Chigirlcruzin]

I'm here...no trips for another month and then I'm cruising again!

 

OMG, Happy, I'm laughing my butt off! You should not have made the statement that you won't end up at his place. And then not wanting to wake your son...ROFLMAO! Talked to the guy last night. We're cool. Found out one of the guys I met this weekend and exchanged phone numbers with is my friend's 22 year old brother! LOL...I'm flattered somebody 10 years younger found me attractive :)

[smoothdancer]

I am here, no trips for me aside from some local competitions that we are doing.

Just reading all of your dating stories. Really I would have no freakin idea what to do on a date so no sense in making a comment!!

[Gathina]

Chi, why not? This is why I have my male model friend LOL

 

There is a big brazilian thing this weekend at the beach. PI is supposed to be still traveling so I guess my model friend and I will go together. Everything is about me now!;)

 

 

I'm here...no trips for another month and then I'm cruising again!

 

OMG, Happy, I'm laughing my butt off! You should not have made the statement that you won't end up at his place. And then not wanting to wake your son...ROFLMAO! Talked to the guy last night. We're cool. Found out one of the guys I met this weekend and exchanged phone numbers with is my friend's 22 year old brother! LOL...I'm flattered somebody 10 years younger found me attractive :)

[happysinglemom]

I'm here...no trips for another month and then I'm cruising again!

 

OMG, Happy, I'm laughing my butt off! You should not have made the statement that you won't end up at his place. And then not wanting to wake your son...ROFLMAO! Talked to the guy last night. We're cool. Found out one of the guys I met this weekend and exchanged phone numbers with is my friend's 22 year old brother! LOL...I'm flattered somebody 10 years younger found me attractive :)

 

Man I'd love to go on a cruise about now...no big trips for me anytime soon though, darn it! I know...me and my big mouth. I even told him that I would have bet money that that would NOT have happened!! :p Leslie, you are adorable. Of COURSE a younger man would be interested!!!

 

I am here, no trips for me aside from some local competitions that we are doing.

Just reading all of your dating stories. Really I would have no freakin idea what to do on a date so no sense in making a comment!!

 

Believe me, it was hard for me getting back into it...but eventually I got the hang of it!! You would too...but just be glad you aren't out there! There are some real nutcases!!! :eek:

 

Chi, why not? This is why I have my male model friend LOL

 

There is a big brazilian thing this weekend at the beach. PI is supposed to be still traveling so I guess my model friend and I will go together. Everything is about me now!;)

 

That sounds like a blast!! Have fun!

 

Lawyer texted me and asked if I could go to a movie Sat night...in addition to our Sunday night date. So I guess I have TWO dates this weekend! This is fun!! :p

[Gathina]

Leslie, the way I see it is why not enjoy the attention and company of the younger man. Have to admit, hanging out with my model friend, even though he's a pal, does something in terms of making you feel younger and beautiful! And I have to admit, even though Dollbaby fizzled, it was nice staring at him for the times I did see hiim. And I admit,when I've been with either man I've had some envious looks from other women (and hateful ones from the one's their age!)

 

I leave in 2 weeks so we'll see what happens when I'm gone for the month with PI. I think it'll either make us flip or fly.

 

Happy: 2 dates?? Hmm..so what direction to you think this is going in ??

 

 

Man I'd love to go on a cruise about now...no big trips for me anytime soon though, darn it! I know...me and my big mouth. I even told him that I would have bet money that that would NOT have happened!! :p Leslie, you are adorable. Of COURSE a younger man would be interested!!!

 

 

 

Believe me, it was hard for me getting back into it...but eventually I got the hang of it!! You would too...but just be glad you aren't out there! There are some real nutcases!!! :eek:

 

 

 

That sounds like a blast!! Have fun!

 

Lawyer texted me and asked if I could go to a movie Sat night...in addition to our Sunday night date. So I guess I have TWO dates this weekend! This is fun!! :p