Unwelcome At Our Assigned Table

[luvtocook]

One thing I've learned is that if you are with a group anything can happen the first night but they usually fix it by the second if everyone just relaxes and lets things work out. Travel agents don't seem to get everyone together as they should and friends are patient with each other.

 

You are absolutely correct!!!! That is why we have found out cruising with a "group" is difficult! :( We have chosen to not do it again. We REALLY loved that small intimate table!!!!:D

[the_dylaness]

Our upcoming X cruise has linked dining reservations between my party (myself and DH) and another party (mom and her DH). We've requested a table for four, and since we booked so early, I don't anticipate an issue.

 

I would be fairly upset if, upon the first night, I found that our neat little grouping had been split up or reassigned to a larger table- 6, 8 people. Not only would it be uncomfortable for the other 2 or 4 people present (as clearly we are hoping to dine together to share the events of our day, not to make nice and play "introduction") it would also be uncomfortable for us.

 

While I would never make the scene that the rude woman did in the OP's post, I can see how people could get flustered if clearly they made a reservation for their own party (4,6,8) and suddenly a strange pair showed up. There are much more polite ways to handle the situation, but I wouldn't want to be put in it to begin with.

[Miss Vickie]

What an unfortunate experience! We've had a couple of experiences, neither anywhere near as bad. On one cruise we were seated with 4 other couples, none of whom knew each other before the cruise. One couple was rude, loud and drunk (and obviously antisemitic) the first night we ate with them. We were uncomfortable and asked to be moved the next day. We ended up with a family of 5, 3 of whom spoke no English, 2 physicians travelling with the 2 year old son and her parents. The parents and child spoke only Polish. Regardless, we had a very pleasant week dining with them. On a recent cruise with my sister and another family, we had asked for a table for 7 for our group. We checked our seating when we first boarded, and found we had been placed at a 10-top with another couple (non-Engllish speaking, as I recall). We were afraid that the 2 folks who weren't part of our group wouldn't be entirely comfortable, so we actually asked to be moved to another table. They put us at a 6-top set for 7, which worked out okay. We did it early, though, and the other couple never know. Had we waited to see where we were seated until that evening we never would have been classless enough to have complained about it in their presence!

[Eleris]

You wrote:

"On the first night in the MDR, the Maitre D'ee was showing us to our table assigned. As we approached a lady from the table jumped up and frantically said to the Maitre D'ee that he had put two strangers at their table! And this was not what she asked for!"

I just wanted to point out in the local online dictionary one of the definitions of a "lady - a woman of refinement and gentle manners" OP you are the one being gracious with the unbelievable rudeness or some self centered passenger with probably 100 different ways to handle a simple situation but took the lowest road possible. I congratulate you on not dropping a tray on her head!;)

[hollydog]

We had a similar, but different, experience on Princess during Christmas two years ago. We opted for Personal Choice dining, instead of the traditional fixed seating. We (hubby, two well behaved, properly dressed, late-teen daughters and myself) were led to a large table where two couples were already seated. We smiled and said hello. They completely ignored us! It was as if we weren't there. The woman to my right actually turned sideways to eat, with her back to me. It was very weird and uncomfortable. Rather than make a scene, we talked quietly, ate rather quickly and left. Later, I wished I had had the foresight to go to their end of the table and thank them for sharing such a :(pleasant:( meal with us. Fortunately, all of our other evening dinner companions were great. This experience, however, made us re-think the open dining option. Now that we're booked on our first Celebrity cruise, we're looking forward to traditional dining once again.

[TRadle]

Ok. Just for fun...let's say that what might have appeared to have been rude might not have meant to have been rude.

 

Let's say as one poster pointed out a couple came to her table, a table among a group of tables of linked guests, and the group of tables that the reservations and links were not set up well enough to work easily immediately...

 

Let's say the offender was a someone who might not have ever meant to make this kind of mistake and offend anyone, but in the moment something came off wrong.

 

While I continue to be less concerned about what they did and what I would do, and I am such a go getter for the underdog, I'd like to think that it might not have been 'personal' and perhaps just an awkward moment in time that with an opportunity for a do-over, might have turned out differently.

 

I will now really wipe these rose colored glasses I have put on at this time. I am compelled by one posters comment on the opposite side of the table that a mistake might have been made and no malice was ever intended.

 

I'm glad you posted this because it happened to us on a Royal Caribbean sailing. We had a family reunion on the ship and people were coming in from all over the country. Even though all the reservations were linked using the same TA, we somehow ended up at different tables. We got in straightened out by having others who were assigned to our huge table moved to another table. It was hectic at first but once people understood I think all noses were back in place!:D

[Riksha]

That's terrible! While I understand why she would be upset, if they had requested a private table, there are certainly more tactful ways to handle the situation. As other posters stated, she could have easily made the best of it (who knows, maybe you'd really hit it off?) and then speak to the maitre-d in private to make arrangements for next time. I think you were most gracious in an awkward situation. I would have been mortified. This is our first X cruise, I didn't realize there were so many mishaps in table seatings! I'm hoping we get our request.

[BobbyK]

I've had two interesting experiences. Once there was a dad and his teen daughter and it was okay. However, a single mom of a teen rudely came over and tried to take over our table during the last dinner, saying she was assigned that table for that night. Very strange. On my last cruise to Hawaii we had a rather miserable couple from another country. As soon as they learned our professions they ripped apart Americans in that profession. Everything was wrong and inferior to them and their country. However, we meet a most wonderful couple and you know how sometimes you meet people and it's like you've known them forever and will be cruisin, writing, and visiting as good friends (hi Steve and Jane). I love the table experience and meeting new people. Later. Robin :cool:

[Napi's Mom]

This is one of the reasons we'e so fond of the open dining, each night you canmeet new friends, OR if you meet folks you enjoy, you go to the dining room and eat together. I understand some of the mass market lines have made a mess of the process, trying to merge both types of dining. Our experience is with Oceania and Azamara, and they do the open dining very well indeed!

[meow!]

We had an even better solution. Besides eating breakfast and lunch at the buffet, we ate dinners at the same buffet ten out of twelve nights. There we could sit just by ourselves, far enough from everybody else, have custom cooked (right in front of us) pasta as per our choice of ingredients, and "wok-fried" beef and vegetables or whatever else available. The freedom, quietness and choice were well appreciated!

[FOXYROXY]

It is sad to say that the mannerisms of long ago are really noticably lacking today. I am sure most people of a certain age can still remember when they were taught that you may not like a person, but you darn well owed that person any common courtesy that you yourself would want to receive. Have all of the sitcoms of the last thirty years taught us how people should be treated. We used to laugh at Archie Bunker, but the rudeness he showed, is the way many people act today. Many children and adults today have been raised with a totally different set of standards. I remember being constantly drilled as a child in the proper decorum of manners and courtesies. Please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, may I, etc. were all everyday words you used to hear. I am sure that the elite class of cruisers 50 to 90 years ago would be frowning if they could see how people treat each other today. They would probably think that most of us were from steerage.

[j!m]

we always ask for and are seated at an 8 top

 

part of the fun of travelling is meeting other people

 

we have had only one unfortunate experience with tablemates and that was on another cruiseline

 

two of the other couples were among the rudest pushiest people we have ever encountered

 

on the very first night, one of the ladies told us she didnt like canadians (we are from toronto and she knew that) because we didnt support her president another lady was so rude to the waiter we were embarassed and apologized for her, she told us we shouldnt have done that, he was "stupid"

 

after dinner we spoke to the maitre"d and changed tables

 

no problem at all

 

takes all kinds i guess and once out of 15 or so cruises isnt too bad

[cvat]

It is sad to say that the mannerisms of long ago are really noticably lacking today. I am sure most people of a certain age can still remember when they were taught that you may not like a person, but you darn well owed that person any common courtesy that you yourself would want to receive. Have all of the sitcoms of the last thirty years taught us how people should be treated. We used to laugh at Archie Bunker, but the rudeness he showed, is the way many people act today. Many children and adults today have been raised with a totally different set of standards. I remember being constantly drilled as a child in the proper decorum of manners and courtesies. Please, thank you, excuse me, pardon me, may I, etc. were all everyday words you used to hear. I am sure that the elite class of cruisers 50 to 90 years ago would be frowning if they could see how people treat each other today. They would probably think that most of us were from steerage.

Hi Foxyroxy,i agree with you!

 

Manners are still modern, they have become modern again!

Actually they have never gone to out of fashion not only for 50-90! And not only for

Personal contacts!

[excitedofharpenden]

Perhaps this person was having a bad day. Travelling makes some very cranky. I might have even been a bit cranky myself sometimes;) You just have to shrug your shoulders and move on.

 

Phil

[scapel]

Travel agents don't seem to get everyone together as they should and friends are patient with each other.

Hey MA,

Thought I would just put in a plug for my Travel Agent. She works hard to organize our dining seating and has had it right most of the time, but it is Celebrity (my favorite cruise line) that just doesn't get it right. Main office in Florida does not communicate well with the Maitre'd aboard.

I had a family of 16 on Millie in March 07 and she and Celebrity got it all correct the first time. I fainted.

[CathyCruises]

On our Summit cruise in November, we were escorted to our table the first night, only to be told when we got there, I forget by whom, that it was supposed to be a group table. So we and another couple were asked to wait while it got straightened out. We stood there in the middle of the dining room while folks around us got their menus, bread, orders taken--just standing there looking around for 10 minutes or more (why they didn't escort us back to the podium I don't know). Anyway, someone rushed up finally and took us upstairs to a table for 7 (we had requested 8 because we like to meet new people) and 2 older ladies eventually showed up. The next night they were gone and a single woman showed up-SHE said she had requested to be seated at a singles table! Finally we went back to the maitre d' and said, look, this isn't what we signed up for, and on a 14 night cruise it's important to us to have a fun dinner table. We did get seated ultimately at a great table and all was well, but it took 3 nights to get there!

 

However, I don't remember being offended, mostly because it was handled correctly. I would have been horrified to be treated as the OP was!

 

Cathy

[shipshape sam]

I am posting this because my husband and I were quite upset by this experience. I'd really appreciate it if you could share your opinions or experiences.

 

On Dec 7 Solstice cruise, my DH and I had asked for a large table. I just love meeting and chatting with new people.

 

On the first night in the MDR, the Maitre D'ee was showing us to our table assigned. As we approached a lady from the table jumped up and frantically said to the Maitre D'ee that he had put two strangers at their table! And this was not what she asked for!

 

Well, we then knew that we were the 2 "strangers" she was referring to since there were 2 empty spots at the table we and she was assigned to. My DH and I looked at each other hardly believing what she had said and feeling most unwelcome. The Maitre D'ee was very embarrassed.

 

We said to the Maitre D'ee that we will not push ourselves where we were not wanted and sat at a table for 2.

 

What do you think? Has this ever happened to you?

 

I think the lady was extremely RUDE and that you and your DH handled the situation with GRACE. I applaud your reaction. There are times when we have to react to a situation that is not our fault to our own sacrifice. I am sorry that you had to sit at a table for two as we try to also sit at larger tables for the interaction/experience of meeting new people on our cruises.

[Sky Sweet]

This is one of the reasons we'e so fond of the open dining' date=' each night you canmeet new friends, OR if you meet folks you enjoy, you go to the dining room and eat together. I understand some of the mass market lines have made a mess of the process, trying to merge both types of dining. Our experience is with Oceania and Azamara, and they do the open dining very well indeed![/quote']

 

Hi Napi's Mom :)

 

I agree with you about open dining.

 

When we took our cruise to the Greek Isles on Brilliance of the Seas this past June, we had a choice of fixed seating or anytime dining and chose the latter.

 

Aside from being able to select a dining time that was best for each port, a large group could be asked to sit together, a couple could sit by themselves, or they could ask to sit at a large table with other passengers who arrived in the dining room at the same time.

 

If in the process someone found a wait team and group of fellow passengers that you they enjoyed, they could ask to have that same arrangement every night.

 

In my opinion, open seating offers all the advantages of fixed seating and none of its disadvantages. With this concept the OP would have never had to deal with the horrible experience she had.

[woody14h]

The original poster mentioned the 12/7 Solstice. We were also on this cruise. We requested a table for 8 as always. We like the interaction and meeting new friends. I believe due to Solstice's growing pains we were assigned to a table by the window which would be to die for if we were a honeymoon couple. The table next to us was a surly couple from S. Fla. Not wanting to waste a whole week this way we contacted the Asst Maitre'D who we knew from the Infinity in April 2008. Next night we were at a table for 8. Only 6 showed and we had a nice week together. There were several other guests who also requested large tables only to be seated at tables for 2. Some were only a 2some at a table for 8? Go figure. After 20 cruises we have found that sharing experiences with new table mates have been the highlight of our trips. You will always find the odd curmudgeon or rude person but most people are taking cruises for the fun and social interaction. With Xs great service one's experience with strangers is an easy accommodation. The 12/7 Solstice seemed almost empty but we were told over 2200 were on board. Great ship, MDR was stunning.

[kiggy]

There really is no excuse for rude behavior, regardless of the circumstances. Some people are downright ignorant.

[kiggy]

we always ask for and are seated at an 8 top

 

part of the fun of travelling is meeting other people

 

we have had only one unfortunate experience with tablemates and that was on another cruiseline

 

two of the other couples were among the rudest pushiest people we have ever encountered

 

on the very first night, one of the ladies told us she didnt like canadians (we are from toronto and she knew that) because we didnt support her president another lady was so rude to the waiter we were embarassed and apologized for her, she told us we shouldnt have done that, he was "stupid"

 

after dinner we spoke to the maitre"d and changed tables

 

no problem at all

 

takes all kinds i guess and once out of 15 or so cruises isnt too bad

Funny that you say that -- the last cruise I was on, we were seated with two other couples -- in one couple, the wife kept calling US southerners, idiots and functionally illiterate bumpkins (my father was from the south) while the other couple was so self-centered, I doubt they would have remembered our names at the end of our 10-day cruise. After 3 nights of this, we requested a change (anytime dining) and had extremely pleasant tablemates there on. You never know.

[scapel]

I think the lady was extremely RUDE and that you and your DH handled the situation with GRACE. I applaud your reaction. There are times when we have to react to a situation that is not our fault to our own sacrifice. I am sorry that you had to sit at a table for two as we try to also sit at larger tables for the interaction/experience of meeting new people on our cruises.

You never know sometimes. Can't remember the cruise, but our English couple and ourselves went to an open seating in the MDR. You know where the waiter just seats you at a table. Well, he put us with another group of 4 at a table of 8. No sooner we had sat down and I was preparing to speak to the lady next to me, they all got up and left. My friend and I looked at each other, both smelled under our arms etc. The waiter looked astonished and embarrased. We had seen the people before and they were from Malta.

Now were they rude. Well, we will never know. I think they wanted to be seated by a window since that is where they went. We didn't take it personel and I spoke to one of the ladys later when standing in a line. I don't think she even knew that I was one of the ones at the table.

It was just kind of funny, and my friend and I always joke about it.

I always tell him it was because he is an Englishman and he always responds No, it was me the American. :) I just like to hear the English accent.

[Coco Creek]

I was on the same cruise and also had my table issues. I was traveling solo for the first time (I really wanted to see the Solstice). My TA asked for a table for 8. I should have checked before dinner but I was having too much fun.

 

I arrived to find I was seated at a table for one--that is a table for two, with a single place setting. I was not happy. I asked to see the maitre' d who was surprised I was not pleased. I was moved the second nigh to a table for six and showed up and was a solo again. This time I got a bit more forceful and after 15 minutes a couple was seated with me--much older than my 66 years but we got along fine. On the fourth night, another couple was added to the table--veterans of over 40 RCL and Celebrity cruises who had been seated at a table where the others did not speak English.

 

Whatever Celebrity was doing with table assignments, it is not working.

Did it spoil my cruise? Not for a second. I do not take dinner all that seriously, but rather as a chance to eat some good banquet type food between my day and evening activities.

[Hflors]

We were once seated at a table for 8. Two couples who spoke very broken English informed the waiter that they were supposed to be by themselves. (DH heard the comment. I did not.) Another couple dined with us the first night, but never showed again. I asked the waiter if we should wait for the couple on the second night. He said that the other couple did not want to be with the people at our table. I took it as a joke until DH caught me up on the situation privately. We actually had a good time with the other two couples, and I guess they tollerated us for the duration of the cruise even though language was a problem. I saw the missing couple once, and they ducked their heads and looked the other way.

 

I once heard a very loud, angry woman at another table yell at the waiter that she was not going to sit with "that man" another night. It was a little frightening!

 

She was most likely talking about her DH

[Conrycol]

I once heard a very loud, angry woman at another table yell at the waiter that she was not going to sit with "that man" another night. It was a little frightening!

 

Probably her husband:D.