What is the Darnest/Funniest Thing Said to You on A Cruise

[JJPacer]

Please share. We all need a good laugh! :p

[Fredr]

Hello,

 

After a show on Celebrity's Infinity, I entered an elevator and casually remarked to a woman, "The young man ( he was a member of the ship's group of singers and dancers, and had sang songs from two operas), can really sing well".

 

Her reply..."I have heard better...he isn't Pavarotti".

 

I was going to reply to her as she was very homely, "and you, are not Jennifer Lopez or not even remotely close", but I did not.

 

Fred

[mstrc1]

Hello,

 

After a show on Celebrity's Infinity, I entered an elevator and casually remarked to a woman, "The young man ( he was a member of the ship's group of singers and dancers, and had sang songs from two operas), can really sing well".

 

Her reply..."I have heard better...he isn't Pavarotti".

 

I was going to reply to her as she was very homely, "and you, are not Jennifer Lopez or not even remotely close", but I did not.

 

Fred

 

Thank god we can never get taken down for what we all think from time to time, as I am sure that we all have had thoughts that would not go ove very well.. Very funny though.:D

[danorton]

I used to work for Celebrity Cruises, and we'd have a whole stable of 'stuff we heard', but the best I personally heard was one night on the Mercury... I was greeting guests in the upper deck of the Celebrity Theatre as they came in for the evening production show, and a couple of late-middle-aged ladies came in, one of them looking confused. She realized that she had not come in through these doors before, and asked "Wait, is this the theatre?" to which her friends and I answered in the affirmative, saying that it was simply the upper entrance. She paused, then stopped to proclaim, "Well I wanted to see the one downstairs; what show is it up here??" :eek:

 

I'm glad the entryway was dark, so that she couldn't see the look on my face as I tried to keep my composure.

[JJPacer]

Thanks for sharing. I would like to hear more! Thanks

[world~citizen]

It may not be funny but we heard it with our own ears...a lady asked the people entering an elevator with us: "which elevator goes to midships?"

 

Everyone was very kind and no one laughed. Cruisers are nice people.

[Drink-in-Hand/Toes-in-Sand]

We had a lovely couple from New York seated at our dinner table. The waiter was adamant that for some reason we could not have soup AND a salad. (He was new, bless his heart.) Bound and determined to have both on the last night of the cruise I hatched a plan to obtain them. I told our newfound friends to stand back and watch a Southern gal in action. My husband covertly asked, "Which routine are you going to use?" I told him I had decided on the "combination hair flip/giggle" to which he replied: "Yep, that'll do it."

 

Our tablemates pooh poohed this idea, but were amazed when the waiter came over to take our order. Sure enough, the never-fail combination hair flip with a giggle produced soup and salads for everyone!

 

As the waiter hurried away the Northern lady said, "Oh, dah-ling you are going to have to teach me that one" and her husband patted her hand and shook his head sadly. "Sorry, honey--it's DEFINITELY a Southern thing!" :D We laughed and laughed.

[skippyy]

returned to ship with small party after day in Santorini. WE were last

four to squeeze in elevator. As the doors closed I loudly whispered to

friends that "this gas is killing me ". wife was horrified that I would say

such a thing:mad: but after one person started to giggle and then entire

group burst into laughter.:D

[Fredr]

Hello,

 

I have done this at least once on most of our 26 cruises...when you enter a crowed elevator, ask very politely "does this elevator go to the front of the ship"?

 

Some will laugh, others won't say anything as if struck by lightening, and at least one will say 'Sure does".

 

Fred

[wripro]

This might be apocrophyl but I once heard about a passenger asking a crew member if the crew goes home at night or sleeps on the ship.

[JJPacer]

Thanks. Readinng these makes the -10 degrees almost bearable. Love them all. :p

[mstrc1]

This might be apocrophyl but I once heard about a passenger asking a crew member if the crew goes home at night or sleeps on the ship.

 

Hello,

 

I have done this at least once on most of our 26 cruises...when you enter a crowed elevator, ask very politely "does this elevator go to the front of the ship"?

 

Some will laugh, others won't say anything as if struck by lightening, and at least one will say 'Sure does".

 

Fred

 

Now these are funny.:D

[Paulchili]

Does the airport count?

I'll tell this one anyway.

We were sitting at the gate in Toronto flying to US. Having already gone through US immigrations (with the prerequisite paper work), the gate agent had asked that anyone who has not yet filled out the "passenger information card" to kindly do so now. The gentleman sitting next to us turned to his wife and said in disgust:

"This is the last time I am flying through Canada - all this paper work. Next time I am flying through Nova Scotia." His wife asked where that was. "You know, it's that little country up there..."

If I had not heard it myself I would not have believed it. Obviously (and sadly) his was an American...

[Ushyia]

I was on my first cruise in the pool. Two guys in the pool stopped the bar server and asked is this salt water? The server said well did you taste it? The boys said well yes. And he said what do you think and walked away.

[Tinwoman]

"Are they kidding we can't wear jeans in the dining room!!":D

[Luvsailing]

Thanks for sharing. I would like to hear more! Thanks

 

I couldn't resist doing something I'd heard as a joke.

 

On one of the cruises upon boarding the ship I went to the guest relations desk and told them I had a complaint about the view from my cabin. The woman looked at me with a look that says "oh no, another stupid passenger." She looked down her nose and said "and what is wrong madame?" I said "I paid a lot of money for a view and all I can see is an ugly dock and an ugly parking lot." And I walked away. I bet she's still talking about the stupid passenger.

[Luvsailing]

I used to work for Celebrity Cruises, and we'd have a whole stable of 'stuff we heard', but the best I personally heard was one night on the Mercury... I was greeting guests in the upper deck of the Celebrity Theatre as they came in for the evening production show, and a couple of late-middle-aged ladies came in, one of them looking confused. She realized that she had not come in through these doors before, and asked "Wait, is this the theatre?" to which her friends and I answered in the affirmative, saying that it was simply the upper entrance. She paused, then stopped to proclaim, "Well I wanted to see the one downstairs; what show is it up here??" :eek:

 

I'm glad the entryway was dark, so that she couldn't see the look on my face as I tried to keep my composure.

 

That reminds me of a joke - sorry - a blond joke.

 

A blond boarded a plane and sat down in first class. The attendant asked to see her ticket and told her she should be in coach. The blond said, I paid for this flight so I can sit anywhere I want. The attendant explained that she was in the wrong area. The blond wouldn't budge. The attendant went to the captain and explained the dilemma. The captain said he'd take care of it. He went to the blond and asked her if she was going to New York. She said that she was going to LA. The captain told her she was sitting in the wrong section. This was the NY section. If she was going to LA she needed to sit in the back of the plane and the attendant would escort her to her LA seat. She happily got up and followed the attendant.

[Fredr]

hello,

 

If you will allow me one more...

 

To me one of the joys of going on a cruise, is that you meet the cruise staff. From all over the world they run away to sea, most to make some money and others for the adventure and fun. I know that they work very long hours and most do not make much money. However, I also enjoy making them laugh and most of the time I can do so.

 

It was about 5:30 AM on Celebrity's Mercury and I had had a nice night's sleep and was up and about the ship. I was near the Purser's Desk and there was one young lady on duty. She was exceptionally nice looking and very business like.

 

So, I walked up to the desk and said in very serious tones, that I wanted to file a complaint and stated that, "this hotel moves!". The young lady started to reply in her official voice, then stopped, went to a drawer, and gave me two complimentary decks of playing cards. And along with the cards, a wonderful laugh and smile.

 

Fred

[swigso]

Hi,

we were on a cruise with my Cousin and after a day exploring the local beaches we returned to the ship.As you know the lifts/elevatorscan be quite crowded. The four of us were the last into the elevator and everyone is quiet and looking at the floor indicator, my cousin turned and with his back to the doors announced loudly

YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW WHY I HAVE CALLED THIS MEETING HERE TODAY.

The whole lift cracked up and we mad a few more cruising friends.

[treasure4two]

We were cruising around the Greek Islands on the Oceania and one man had a bottle which he had filled up when we were on one of the islands-I asked him what it was for and he told me that his friends would never believe how blue the water was, so he was taking it back home to show them!! Duh!!(and HE:p was not a blond!!););)Written by a blonde:p;)

[yakdaddy42]

I had a woman on one cruise have the gaul to call me rude for reaching over her plate after she cut in front of me in the buffet line. I told her she was rude for cutting but told her to go ahead as she was so much older than I, that I had plenty of time to make it thru the line before I died.

 

ooo she was unhappy.

[nikless]

"The water is moving".

[LHT28]

"They feed you too much in the buffet"

 

:eek:

[taloolabelle]

Love to ask random folks on cruises how the trip is going for them...and hope the positives outweigh the negatives. I am eternal optimist! ;)It seems people love to complain when in elevators. A constant comment is "Good.....so far!: like they are waiting for the other shoe to drop. The best was hearing "ok....SO far!" comment on elevator on disembarkation day!!!!...ya just have to laugh.

[Keefy]

On a T/A last fall, there was the usual group of braggers trying to outdo each other with tales of their Captains Club/Elite status etc.

One lady said "Have you been on the cruise to Egypt" Reply "Oh yes we did that and visited the Pyramids"

"What did you think"

"You would think with all the Oil money they have they could have repaired the Sphinx"

 

The number of disbelieving faces was incredible. These were not quiet people! On shore excursions you could hear them before you saw them!!

 

Azamara Journey Dec 2008