Help!!! Taking 15 yo DD on cruise - Dad is MIA...

[willow028]

Please help experienced cruisers!

 

My cousin booked an early cruise for her DD's 16th b-day - we're all cruising in April to Mexico (US citizens) and her DD's b-day is in May.

 

Thanks to these forums I learned that consent from both parents may be needed and she called NCL who confirmed (don't get me started on our travel agent who didn't mention this to to my cousin or her friend who also booked a room for her and her DD on the same cruise!).

 

Problem... bio-father is MIA and he will not return calls to my cousin. She has legal custody but per NCL that isn't enough unless a judge gives permission - and custody papers were drawn up half the country away - not practical to try and get things done that way.

 

She doesn't know where her daughter's dad even lives anymore - he frequently moves and doesn't notify anyone. She calls his cell and leaves messages, but no answer/return call.

 

Has anyone been in this situation? Are there any practical options? The guy hasn't seen his daughter in years, doesn't pay child support, etc...

 

Any and all help is appreciated!

[cb at sea]

Since he's not going to be "making a fuss" about the child going on vacation, don't worry about it! Just go, and have fun! If the child has no father (which this one doesn't) then there's nothing left for you to do.

[willow028]

Since he's not going to be "making a fuss" about the child going on vacation, don't worry about it! Just go, and have fun! If the child has no father (which this one doesn't) then there's nothing left for you to do.

 

Can we do that? NCL said she had to provide the notarized letter at boarding or they couldn't get on the ship... he's on her birth certificate, which she'll be using as her proof of citizenship...

[kf657]

What would you be able to do if Bio-father was deceased? Could there be away around it that way? Would a notarized statement help? I would think the court papers should be enough. What about calling US passport agency, maybe some help..Good luck.

 

I also ran into passport problem re:handicapped 20 yo son...Needed passport but could not do forms himself...Fotunately he was able to print his name legible enough to get it through....

[Mountain Sky]

Not only is sailing a problem, but flying as well. If you are crossing any borders, you will need a notirized letter at airport. It is not the age of the chidren either, just regulations. With so many internet hook-ups etc. they are really srict. I travelled to San Diego from Calgary last year with three children 17, 15 and 13. I am married to my husband and he was travelling one day later due to work committments. I laughed when they asked, the kids said I was thier mother and all was fine with Dad. No, not without letter. Thank-god I had my lawyer neighbor do one for free.

 

I would say consult a lawyer friend, there may be a quick way to prove he has abandoned his rights or something similar. Don't attempt to go without some form of official written verification, either from the cruise line, immigration or something similar. The ships agents are minor immigration officials but can only approve if everything is 100% correct, they have no leeway to make decisions or they are fined personally huge amounts.

 

Good luck

[Marlenascruising]

I have taken my 15 year old son on 11 cruises. His father is deceased. I always take a copy of his dad's death certificate with me. We travel with my present husband and we all have different names and I have never been asked to show anything. We all have passports, and my son looks more like his stepfather than me but I dont take a chance. If I didnt bring it someone would probably ask. I also wish you luck on your situation.

[luvlake]

Since you have until April to get this done, I would not hesitate any further. I would call a lawyer or any authority and get this done the proper way.

 

We would not expect the cruise line to do anything different except to follow the law. What if it was the other way around. You would want the cruise line to do the right thing.

 

I would hate to get to check-in and be turned away.:(

 

I hope this all works out for you and your cruise is wonderful.:)

[melana]

The rules for Mexico are a lot different than others for minor entering their country. It isn't just the cruiseline but the country you are visiting may have their own rules that cover minors entering their country...You need to visit the state department's website. But if you cousin has legal custody of her daughter the court papers should be all you would need to have...

 

But I have been through something similar. My cousin and I are going on a cruise next month to the bahamas, and taking her 16 year old DD. I was concerned because on the child's birth certificate it states that the father is UNKNOWN. And after asking for advice here, I made calls to the State Department and to the cruise line and we were told we would be fine as long as the birth certificate had no father listed. We went ahead and got her a passport and had no issues there. So hopefully everything will be okay...

[CC Help Michell]

Since he's not going to be "making a fuss" about the child going on vacation, don't worry about it! Just go, and have fun! If the child has no father (which this one doesn't) then there's nothing left for you to do.

 

That is quite possibly the worst advice I have ever seen here at CC (and maybe on the web anywhere). :( This child has a father (per the original post) who still has legal rights. The original poster needs a lawyer, post haste -- the custodial parent needs a COURT ORDER decreeing that the person with physical custody is also the legal custodian and can take the minor out of the country, or declaring the non-custodial parent dead and the surviving parent the sole custodian.

 

It's all TOO common to read posts here (in tones of great indignation) expressing dismay that the cruiseline wouldn't permit one (of two) parents to embark to a foreign port with the kids, etc.

 

The OP's relative needs to take this seriously and act right NOW to get it resolved with legal assistance.

 

If that's not possible, I'd book a different kind of vacation (Disneyworld or Universal are awesome!) until the child attains majority. "Ignore it, you'll be fine" is seriously mind-boggling advice. :eek: Both cruiselines and customs officials can and often will inquire into whether a minor child traveling with only one parent is in a disputed custody situation. Why put the OP and her family into that bureaucratic maze?

[cruiselover57]

Please help experienced cruisers!

 

My cousin booked an early cruise for her DD's 16th b-day - we're all cruising in April to Mexico (US citizens) and her DD's b-day is in May.

 

Thanks to these forums I learned that consent from both parents may be needed and she called NCL who confirmed (don't get me started on our travel agent who didn't mention this to to my cousin or her friend who also booked a room for her and her DD on the same cruise!).

 

Problem... bio-father is MIA and he will not return calls to my cousin. She has legal custody but per NCL that isn't enough unless a judge gives permission - and custody papers were drawn up half the country away - not practical to try and get things done that way.

 

She doesn't know where her daughter's dad even lives anymore - he frequently moves and doesn't notify anyone. She calls his cell and leaves messages, but no answer/return call.

 

Has anyone been in this situation? Are there any practical options? The guy hasn't seen his daughter in years, doesn't pay child support, etc...

 

Any and all help is appreciated!

 

Here's the situation I had a few years ago. My son's friend (who was 15 at the time) came with us on a cruise to Mexico on Holland America. His parents had been divorced since he was a baby. My friend only had to give me a notarized letter stating that my husband and I were his "legal guardians" while we were out of the country. He had a passport at the time and there were no problems. Although I'm a notary, I couldn't notarize the letter because of technicalities and being one of the "guardians" for him. On another note - although I believe my friend (at that time) received some sort of compensation for her son's schooling (private school), I don't believe the father ever paid any child support but nevertheless, my friend was not obligated to contact the father and everything went very smooth - no issues whatsoever.

[notentirelynormal]

The original poster needs a lawyer, post haste -- the custodial parent needs a COURT ORDER decreeing that the person with physical custody is also the legal custodian and can take the minor out of the country, or declaring the non-custodial parent dead and the surviving parent the sole custodian.

 

The OP's relative needs to take this seriously and act right NOW to get it resolved with legal assistance.

 

If that's not possible, I'd book a different kind of vacation (Disneyworld or Universal are awesome!) until the child attains majority. "Ignore it, you'll be fine" is seriously mind-boggling advice. :eek: Both cruiselines and customs officials can and often will inquire into whether a minor child traveling with only one parent is in a disputed custody situation. Why put the OP and her family into that bureaucratic maze?

 

I agree 100%. My brother had physcial and legal custody and still had to go to court and get a court order to take his 13 YO son on a cruise to the Caribbean. And YES they did ask at both the airport and in San Juan when we boarded the ship. He had a passport, his divorce papers, his custody papers and STILL needed to show the court order. Act now while there is time. You do not want to end up at the pier and be denied boarding.

[dyjack]

The age in question is usually 14 or younger. I have taken my now 16 yo son on several cruises and trips out of the country without so much as a letter. That includes Mexico when he was 13. Our standard line at the time (if asked) was that his father was mia. Because we had the passport (which you can't get under age 14 without consent from both parents now) it was not a problem. I purposely "renewed" his passport one month after the old one expired just to avoid the rule so he would be 15. This was the advice from someone at the State Dept. to avoid the consent issue. Otherwise, the letter and/or some sort of documentation may have been necessary just for the passport. Again, moot point over 14.

 

HOWEVER

 

If you have the time and are concerned, I would certainly consult an attorney to avoid any surprises. It should be a very low standard fee to produce the documentation needed. We've had similar documentation drawn up for when he has traveled with my sister or my parents. (Even though I don't think it's necessary at age 16)

[velvetred]

I have traveled out the country with my teenage son several times and never had a letter from husband authorizing his travel - no issues whatsoever. In 2007 my sister and I (sister who is the mother was not on the trip) took our nephew along on a trip to Canada (my 16 year old son was also on this trip and no letter from dh). My nephew was 15 at the time with his passport (my sister did wait until he turned 15 to apply for his passport as he is another child with MIA father) and we had a notarized letter from my sister authorizing us to take him to Canada - no issues whatsover. My sister has taken my underage teenage niece on cruises to the Caribbean and she has had no issues. My brother-in-law has never signed any paper for my sister to take my niece on the trip.

 

I could see if someone were trying to take a small child out of the country but teens 15-17 should be a different story (even the government only requires one parent signature for passport).

 

Anyway, just sharing my experiences. It is always better to be safe than sorry so I agree with the posters who are recommending to try to get papers drawn up in advance if possible.

[indianagirl47553]

My son's friend (who was 15 at the time) came with us on a cruise to Mexico on Holland America. His parents had been divorced since he was a baby. My friend only had to give me a notarized letter stating that my husband and I were his "legal guardians" while we were out of the country. He had a passport at the time and there were no problems.

 

We have a similar situation.... our son's 13-year-old friend will be cruising with us in March. On the advice of RCCL we will be taking a notarized letter from his parents authorizing us to take him out of the country, to obtain medical treatment if necessary, and to sign waivers for excursions, rock wall, surfing, etc. He will also have a passport and at his age both parents had to sign for it. Can anyone think of anything else we should take along?

[tiyana4]

Not only is sailing a problem, but flying as well. If you are crossing any borders, you will need a notirized letter at airport. It is not the age of the chidren either, just regulations. With so many internet hook-ups etc. they are really srict. I travelled to San Diego from Calgary last year with three children 17, 15 and 13. I am married to my husband and he was travelling one day later due to work committments. I laughed when they asked, the kids said I was thier mother and all was fine with Dad. No, not without letter. Thank-god I had my lawyer neighbor do one for free.

 

I would say consult a lawyer friend, there may be a quick way to prove he has abandoned his rights or something similar. Don't attempt to go without some form of official written verification, either from the cruise line, immigration or something similar. The ships agents are minor immigration officials but can only approve if everything is 100% correct, they have no leeway to make decisions or they are fined personally huge amounts.

 

Good luck

 

Not necessarily... while it is helpful to have this information should they ask, I have yet to be asked. We have crossed Rainbow Bridge into Canada via automobile and have entered Mexico no less than 5 times (by air and by sea) and have never been asked. At the border crossing they only asked for her birth certificate and this was post 9/11.

 

I began traveling solo with DD when she was only 6 yrs old. The 1st time we left the country, I had her father complete a "Permission to Travel" form and had it notarized. Subsequently, this was done each time we took a trip until we just had Dad sign off to get her passport (so no more filling out 3-4 blank forms in advance. To date, I have never had to show the form to anyone. DD has had a passport for about 3 yrs now so not sure if that makes a difference or not but even before that no one ever asked.

[Happy ks]

It is always best to be safe rather than sorry and disappointed and out of a whole lot of cash if you were not allowed to board the ship at the last moment.

 

I'm wondering, though, if the OP really needs an attorney, or if they could just contact the local courthouse for advice. Or a free legal counselor. My concern is, of course, the finances of the single parent, either a mother or father.

[mevers]

FYI as I saw it posted incorrectly above - BOTH parents have to appear before an agent to get a passport for a minor OR have a signed and notorized letter from a parent giving permission to the other parent to appear.

 

This is to prevent one parent from abducting a child to another country.

 

I trully hope it works out. A child deserves a great vacation without a absentee parent bogging the whole thing down!

[melana]

A child who is 16 or 17 does NOT need to have both parents present or have them sign anything in order to get a passport.

 

The reason I know this is because my cousin's daughter just got her passport earlier this month and when she went to apply they did not ask her mother to sign anything or show anything in terms of a signed consent from the other "parent"....

[dyjack]

Exactly. Once a child reaches age 15 only one parent is needed for the passport.

 

Here's a link directly from the State Dept on that:

 

http://travel.state.gov/passport/fri/faq/faq_1741.html#child25

[terinzak]

It's not exactly true that both parents must sign for a passport. I had no idea where my son's father was and my son needed a passport. I had to write a letter, and get it notarized, stating the facts about how come I didn't know where his dad was. Passport came 1 week later with no problems.

 

Prior to this, I had taken my son to both Meico and the Carribean and never was asked for a letter from his dad.

 

There are ways to get a child a passport if the other parent cant be found. Just call the Passport Agency and they can help you.:D

[CaptData]

Get a notorized letter stating that the father is MIA. Bring your cell bill to prove that you tried contacting him (it will back your story). Have the letter stating where you are going when ect. Meanwhile write a letter to the court where you have proof of full custody and get the paperwork for future times.

[willow028]

Wow - I was amazed to log on this morning and see all the great replies, ideas and histories you all shared - thank you!

 

This gives us a lot to work on - my cousin does live in a small town and has limited finances, but we have time so she can start asking around for legal assistance.

 

She was hesitant to apply for a passport for her DD with her turning 16 so soon simply due to financial restraints (why pay now then pay again so soon) but that may be the way to go.

 

Thank you again - and if anyone else has ideas as well, please pass them on!

[katmu]

Were the parents married before the girl was born? In some states (this was the case in IL), even if his name is on the birth certificate, the mother would have sole legal custody unless they went to court to change the custody status. If she contacts legal aid, they should be able to tell her what the laws are in that state.

[6rugrats]

Wow - I was amazed to log on this morning and see all the great replies, ideas and histories you all shared - thank you!

 

This gives us a lot to work on - my cousin does live in a small town and has limited finances, but we have time so she can start asking around for legal assistance.

 

She was hesitant to apply for a passport for her DD with her turning 16 so soon simply due to financial restraints (why pay now then pay again so soon) but that may be the way to go.

 

Thank you again - and if anyone else has ideas as well, please pass them on!

 

You have received some truly inaccurate and horrible advice. The correct advice given to you was by MitchellP. PLEASE do not listen to posters who go off on tangents about child support, going to Canada, saving cell phone bills (??),or tell you how they've never had a problem.

 

Getting a passport will not solve this problem; a passport is not permission by the other parent to leave the country. If you don't want to spend the money, don't get the passport. Even with a passport, she would need this notarized permission letter. If you can't get that from the dad, she absolutely will need a court order granting her permission to take her child to Mexico. You will not be allowed to board the ship without it.

 

Try calling the closest family law advisor; most courts offer this free service and they can advise you. Do not rely on misinformation from people who, while thinking they are helping you, are misleading you.

[6rugrats]

Since he's not going to be "making a fuss" about the child going on vacation, don't worry about it! Just go, and have fun! If the child has no father (which this one doesn't) then there's nothing left for you to do.

 

The dad has nothing to do with. Because of international child abduction laws, this is a requirement for admission to Mexico. "Don't worry about it" is quite possibly the worst and most inaccurate piece of advice I have seen on this board.