New cruise line now forming!!!

[dublin]

Oh Wow - Can I be in charge of shore excursions?

 

Qualifications:

 

1. Love to take shore excursions (or excursions of any kind)

2. Can call numbers for the tenders.

3. Can say "Have a nice day and thank you for sailing on 'Danno Cruiseline'"

4. Will not hold ship for late comers

 

 

Please can I have this job????

 

 

P L E A S E !!!

[Vic The Parrot]

A nice comfortable ship, with a 360 deg wrap-around promenade deck. Complete with wooden deck chairs for reading and snoozing under the lifeboats.

[gkm]

Garry...I don't think passenger can be a job :confused: . How about VP in charge of customer happiness...first thing you get to do is tell them our Cruise Director is NOT perky...and won't use the same "we lose more shower curtain's that way" line on the final evening!! That should to make them happy!!

Oh Danno! That's perfect. There's no one as happy as I am when I'm on a cruise ship!:D :D :D

 

And Lois, I would love to be your assistant!;)

 

Garry

[kitty9]

Danno, I pilot a 28' party barge, so maybe I can be a bridge officer?

 

More suggestions for the new cruise line:

 

A full room service menu for all the cabins, not just the suites

WiFi throughout the ship

Flat screen TV's in every room, with a DVD player (that will keep the kiddies occupied at night)

Top of the line bathroom amenities

No more than 25 people for all shore excursions

Adults only cruises and adults only shore excursions

More exotic itineraries to places like Asia and Africa

[Danno]

Darcie...have a 27' sailboat that I've never sailed...however I have been to the EXXON VALDEZ school of seamanship so I would say we're covered for bridge expertise.

[mr green]

:D I agree with most of it, but one question.'Who's ship do we steal?' We might as well go first class, as I don't like to row! :confused: :D john taylor

[kjunea]

Can the cabins..

 

1. All have balconies

2. Walk-in closets

3. bars with appropriate glassware

4. bathrooms big enough to change more than just your mind in?

5. Playstations/gamecubes/xboxes in rooms that we allow children to stay in

6. coffee makers in rooms to have that first cup on the balcony in the morning, with the sun rising gently and that warm, salty, sea breeze hitting you in the face.

7. small refrigerators in all rooms

8. beds that don't separate in the middle

9. tasteful decor/bedspreads/artwork

10. Free bottle of Champagne in every room, on ice, every night. With strawberries dipped in chocolate and drizzled with white chocolate

[charlielinda]

No problem, as the Princess I'll enjoy meeting everyone and enjoying fabulous meals in the dining room.

[sunpsyche]

I volunteer to confiscate all contraband electronic/cellular/beeping devices at embarkation...

[marco]

Could I be in charge of advertising and PR?

 

First, I would print up brochures with all of the prices indicated for the specific cruises and mail them out.......

 

THEN....... I would send everyone a letter who I sent the borchures to saying, "Yes those are really the prices. NO, they were not trumped up, so we now can say we are offering savings of 30% 40% or 50 % off the brochure rate because THAT rate was pure fiction,anyway, and we have to make you THINK you are getting a bargain even though anyone with an IQ higher than 1 digit knows that NO ONE pays the original brochure rates. What we say we will charge is WHAT WE WILL CHARGE" Gee....what a concept!

[Danno]

Well done Marco!!! You're our guy...keep up the good work!!!

 

 

I think we should buy Horizon...I know she lacks balconies but she has class, beautiful lines, pride, and is not loved by her current owner. She would be a great starting point...besides our clientel will delight in our standard of service and quiet attention to detail.

[marco]

Ok....I've out of touch for a while, yes we took a vacation, no, it wasn't a cruise. at any rate......first "Horizon" was going into dry dock to be balconied and foo-foo-shi-shi updated. Then....it's is doing the 2005 Bermuda run "as is" and then it will be sold.

 

What's the skinny?!?!!?!?!?

[canderson]

Things to add to the list:

 

This is shaping up pretty well, but we need somebody who can start whipping up some really new itineraries. Some new blood would be nice. How about a true S. Caribbean run that includes not just Aruba, but the rest of the southern islands? Never been to Curacao (that may change in 2 weeks, with GC off our itinerary) Trinidad/Tobago, Guadeloupe, or Dominica. Let's give 'em all some business!

 

We need to get that Scotsman, Alan, who moved over to Crystal last year, to come back as our Cruise Director. Best one I've ever had (last seen on the Infinity). True master of the "groaner". Was sorry to hear he'd jumped ship. Wonder if we could entice him to return with a steady diet of haggis?

 

We need to sort something out about the "on-board shopping guide". The rules need to include full disclosure about the nature of any associations between the guide, our cruise line and the "preferred" merchants. Better - allow none at all, and just hire a team from Berkshire-Hathaway to do our negotiating. They seem to be able to spot bargains pretty well. Give 'em cabins, and I bet they'll work for peanuts. Maybe Warren will come along and provide investment advice?

 

FRS/GMRS radios? They DO have models with vibrate/ring options. While on ship, insist that they be left in vibrator mode 24/7, and that one must excuse oneself to a private location to "take a call". That said, they can be exceptionally helpful on land when trying to keep larger parties together.

 

Booze rules? Stick with what they've got. That allows a person to bring wine aboard and have it opened at the table for a reasonable corkage fee. Either that, or we're going to have to work on our wine list a bit. X does OK, but it could be better. Given the number of bottles they go through in a year's time on each ship, there's no excuse for not having at least as broad a selection as any upscale restaurant. There's holes in their list. Let's not leave any in ours!

 

Denim in the Dining? Nope. Gotta draw the line somewhere here. I suppose one could open up an alternative line to compete for a different demographic, but that's not what you're wanting to run here.

 

Suggestion: Pricing for those of us who really do NOT want to get off the boat at the end of the cruise, even the 14 day runs. Let's talk about renting cabins for a month or more at decent discounts. Work for you?

[Leejnd4]

Just a few requests from a potential passenger (I like most of what I've read so far!):

 

1. Baked Alaska that tastes like something.

2. Some kind of force field that keeps people out of the elevators until those trying to get off can escape.

3. A jogging path that wraps all the way around the ship. (Trying to run off all those calories from the fantastic food is really rough on the knees when the jogging path is a tight circle!).

4. Grief counseling at the end of the cruise. (It's just so traumatic! :::sob:::)

 

LeeAnne

[Danno]

OH YA....we will not sing that New Years Eve song (I know the name but I can't even begin to spell it) on the last formal evening. The Baked Alaska parade also seem to be a bit over the top...we will introduce the staff but making it a "production" is getting ordinary. How about having the head chef simply stop by some tables randomly and ask an honest opinion about the food, good and bad,... might make our clients feel that their opinion counts.

[Vic The Parrot]

"Auld Lang Syne"

 

 

 

:-D

[stretch]

I've still got my application in for Bar Manager. To know me is to love me! Here's some ideas!

1. Drop bartender tips to 10%.

2. Daily Happy Hour specials, buy one- get one free during happy hour.

3. Midnight drink specials 12:00 - 3:00 a.m.

4. Early morning "eye opener specials"

5. Olympic bar marathon comptition.

First person to drink two drinks (bartender's choice of course) at each bar in the shortest amount of time will get his/her bar tab comped for the cruise.

What 'cha think??

Stretch

[dublin]

PLEASE - I WANT TO BE THE SHORE EXCURSION PERSON.

 

I'm ready to go in a moments notice

[Danno]

Ok Dublin you're in....sorry I should have responded earlier...I like your attitude and I'm Irish!!

 

 

Gotta tell you STRETCH...I really don't think you're the kinda guy we invisioned as a client when we founded this line...but thanks for stopping by ;) . Please leave quietly or DUCK will have to fashion you a pair of cement overshoes for you (he's from NY he knows how to do this...or at least he knows people who know how to do this).

[stretch]

Well Danno, I can tell by your tone of voice that you'd rather have the HAL type crowd. One foot on a banana peel and the other in the grave. Guess you'll have a ton of wheel chair races, or could it be napping competitions and snoring contests.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Stretch

[Danno]

Did you read over my application..... :confused:

 

I have feelers out to other cruise lines also and just wanted your line to get first crack at bringing me on board. ;)

Longboy....you're in!!! (close call....almost lost him to Carnival!!)

[Ma Bell]

Hi Danno,

 

I volunteer to make sure any grumpy people walk the plank.

[Danno]

Actually Ma I think you threatened me once with that fate....I think we'll offer you a job as VP of descreet and non-intrusive internal ships communications...(the phone system)...should you find anyone with a cell phone, beeper, walkie talkie, you can make them walk the plank.

[DUCK33]

there are a lot of vp's on this cruiseline. i am glad i am the only one with a gun or i would get lost in the shuffle. danno wants me to shoot everyone...i need more bullets. is that a write off?

[kokonut]

Duck - since walkie talkies are banned - and I'm to call you over to shoot anyone wearing denim that tries to access the dining room..... we've got to figure out a signal.....

 

I mean - we have to keep with the decorum and and refinement of this cruise - so I can't very well yell out "Hey Duck!!! This guy's got on denim!!!!"