Your experience when your older teen brings a friend along

The next cruise we plan to take will be in 2019 for our 30th anniversary. More than likely, our youngest, who will be 18 by then, will come with us. Dh and I agree that since she will be too old for the teen club-which she always enjoyed - she can bring a friend. (Just to be clear, by friend, I don't mean boyfriend.) This will be unchartered waters for all of us, so I would like to hear from families who have done this. What worked well and what would you do differently?

I'm also interested in answers. Mine are not 18, but in a seperate cabin. Any information would be helpful.

My teenage daughter brought her friend on our last cruise, they were both 14. It worked well for us. I made sure friend had passport and I had a notarized letter from her parents authorizing me to allow medical care if needed. We purchased social media package so she could stay in touch with parents via Facebook. My daughter has ten cruises under her belt so she knows the ropes. That being said, we had rules. They had to stay together. No one in our cabin and they couldn’t go into anyone else’s cabin. We had the carnival hub so we could message each other. We had set times they had to check in with us physically. No food or drinks accepted from anyone. Worked well the first time so we did it again! Every teen is different so u might have different rules. It is a floating city and it has to b treated as such.

Since your daughter will be 18, I suggest she brings someone else who is also at least 18. If she brings a 17 y/o, they could run into issues at venues where you must be 18+ (dance club, casino, etc.)

On our first cruise my (then) 17 year old brought his best friend. It worked out pretty much ok, but we did realize some snags along the way. It turned out friend wanted to hide out in the cabin and watch TV much more than my son did. The friend spend too much time pouting that he wasn't getting to do what he wanted to do. There were probably less than 20 kids on the cruise (two weeks before Christmas on Princess), including the five that I brought. Our kids did not go to the kids program one time. Mostly spent time at the pool and discovering all the places to eat. I don't think I would bring a friend again unless the friend were to pay for themselves. Hopefully it will work out better for you and yours.

Happy sailing!

Get adjoining cabins, have rules, check in times with you. Your daughter will have so much fun with a friend.

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On our first cruise my (then) 17 year old brought his best friend. It worked out pretty much ok, but we did realize some snags along the way. It turned out friend wanted to hide out in the cabin and watch TV much more than my son did. The friend spend too much time pouting that he wasn't getting to do what he wanted to do. There were probably less than 20 kids on the cruise (two weeks before Christmas on Princess), including the five that I brought. Our kids did not go to the kids program one time. Mostly spent time at the pool and discovering all the places to eat. I don't think I would bring a friend again unless the friend were to pay for themselves. Hopefully it will work out better for you and yours.

Happy sailing!

This is a really good point! The way teenagers love each other one minute and are fighting the next that could get problematic. That much "together" time could create a tense situation if for some reason they had a falling out or tiff. Might make for a really awkward and not so great cruise.

I would make sure that the friend is a REALLY good friend and no history or expectation they might end up unhappy with each other. Not like they can just pack up and you can take them home 1/2 way through the cruise if they decide they want to take their marbles and go home lol!

It really depends on the friend. My sister brought two friends for her kids on her last cruise, one 14 and one 17.

The 14 year old was a boy, outgoing and adventurous. A joy the whole trip. My nephew who was 12 really had a great time with his buddy. They did not do the teen clubs or kids clubs because they would have been in different groups. The 14 year old was a wonderful addition to the trip. Just a fun, sweet kid, kept my nephew company and they entertained each other.

Same trip, the 17 year old girl was more of a challenge. She preferred staying in the room all day, reading and eating room service. My neice felt trapped, didn't want to leave her by herself.

But at night she liked to hit up the teen clubs to flirt with all the boys. It got awkward when she and one of my neices ignored curfew, more than once. She was a challenge as she preferred to isolate herself from the group during the day, even choosing to skip dinner with the group several nights, then ignoring the curfew rules in the evening. The two girls were not a good team.

I'd say make sure you are realistic about the personality of the friend you let your child bring. Bringing a friend can make it fun if the teen is in line with your expectations. But who wants to go searching for a couple of hormonal teenagers at midnight?

Yes and for an older teen it’s a great idea. We brought our son and his buddy. They had a bunch of fun together and met up with other teens at night after the shows. They played cards, ate pizza, burgers and fries with soda up on the lido deck till early morning hours with all of the other teens onboard. They were only required to be at dinner on time and dressed appropriately, which they did every night. They had a great time together.

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The last couple of cruises we had friends onboard, the whole family (2 different families), all of our boys grew up together and are freshman in high school together, marching band etc...love these people, love the boys and are together a lot with these families especially during marching band season...that being said....

There is no way I want to be full on responsible for another teen on my watch, on my vacation :eek:....we have one child, a well mannered, straight A very mature 15 yr old...he knows the rules in our house (and in social settings etc.), he understands how we act in public and what the expectations are and that independence and privileges are his to lose...on this last cruise a couple weeks ago, DH and I noticed that one of the boys was remarkably more moody and mouthy at times, didn't want to do anything (except hang in the arcade) and pouted most of the day...Ummmm no!!!! His parents were there fortunately to deal with it and we could just go about our vacation without him...would be hard to do if we were solely responsible....

We are fortunate enough to have many friends that love to cruise and the boys have a blast (we are all booked for next yrs spring break again already for the 3 yr in a row), no arguing that point but when we cruise alone, just our family, we also have a blast and a lot of quality time together as well...

Big difference between 18 and 17 and you are not clear if the "friend" is/will be 18?

If they are both 18, than you can't make any rules, they are adults. They need to be linked to your reservation and of course you will tell them your expectations, but that all it is. (This is not parenting advice because at age 18, they are no longer your responsibility).

Biggest thing is this. When you take a "friend", will this "friend" still be a "friend"? Here is the deal. If you are paying for it, and they are no longer "friends", than what? She doesn't go and you still have paid for it. What I did, was the "friend" had to pay for the trip. Now the friend is committed to the trip and will loose money if not wanting to go for so many reasons. (You could still pay for the trip, but give the money back when they get on the ship). You must have a clear understanding of how extras are paid for. Other words, they have their own account, not attached to your credit card.

It they are 17, than same as above, but you become responsible for their actions, and follow all the rules with permission slips etc.

The next cruise we plan to take will be in 2019 for our 30th anniversary. More than likely, our youngest, who will be 18 by then, will come with us. Dh and I agree that since she will be too old for the teen club-which she always enjoyed - she can bring a friend. (Just to be clear, by friend, I don't mean boyfriend.) This will be unchartered waters for all of us, so I would like to hear from families who have done this. What worked well and what would you do differently?

It worked out well for my teenage daughter a few year ago. However the first friend had a family emergency and had to travel to India a month before the cruise. Luckily the best PVP in the world was able to move the funds over to another friend without having to cancel. We traveled with a notarized consent form from the friends parents and her birth certificate. Carnival and US Customs only asked for the birth certificate but it's good to have the consent form.

Our daughter is an only child so we financed and brought along a friend on many vacations. Always have proper consent for medical treatment, and for cruising any friend was required to have a passport. We always set clear rules and boundaries. Check in times, curfews, and my daughter would roll her eyes and suffer thru our safety briefing. Stay in public areas, don't enter anyone's cabin and dont allow anyone in yours.

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I would say try and find out what friend likes/dislikes to do beforehand.

This will sound really dumb BUT if it hadn't happened to me I wouldn't have thought of it.

We brought a teenager along that expressed excitement for going on the trip etc (she had never been on a cruise) and then we get on the trip and she announced she wanted to keep her skin pale and under no circumstances could she be in the sun getting a tan.

Um huh? You realize we are on a Caribbean vacation right? I asked why she didn't mention it or why did she want to come on a beachy vacation? All I got was I don't know.

I got her sunscreen which she slathered on non stop and then pouted so much on my beach day we went back to the ship early. (I wasn't going to go back but my husband got tired of it and said let's just go back)

It's still a head scratcher to me but it rained on my vaca a little

We had our then 16 yo daughter bring a friend on the cruise, We met with the friend's parents so we could go over the ground rules (curfew, checking in, meals, etc) so they could reinforce those with their daughter. We also involved her in the planning process for excursions and other activities so she would feel like she was invested in what we were doing and made sure she has something of a say. It worked out well and my daughter and her friend had a great time.

I have done this twice, both times with the same friend. He was 18 the first time and he paid his own way. He is about a year younger than my son. It was great, as it gave my son someone to hang out with and do "young people" stuff with. However, we knew the friend very well and knew his character. I've offered to take him with us again even if my son doesn't go.

If they are both 18, than you can't make any rules, they are adults

I'm sorry, but I must respectfully disagree with that statement. The parents of the 18 year old entrusted him to my care. I established the reasonable ground rules well before the cruise and he understood them before he paid. But, as I knew him well, I knew he would respect them. Rules were simple...no curfew on board, he had to accompany us on all shore excursions (didn't require this the second time he went with us) and moderate use of alcohol on shore if 18 was the legal drinking age (his parents agreed to this).

My son and his friend cruised with us once, son was 17 turning 18 and friend turned 18 right before we went. I disagree with the other poster that said you cannot do anything at 18 as they are adults. If you are with me on a trip financed by me especially, you will go by my rules or not go at all. Anyway, they boys went and though their ages were different by a few months it still worked out well. They went to the teen clubs some, ate pizza late at night, slept till lunch the next day and spent the rest of the time at one of the pools or various outdoor activities. We had the rule that they must meet up with us an hour before dinner every night so we could check in and state our plans and they must go on and off the ship in ports with us. They followed those rules without issue and had a great time.

P.S. This was on a RCCL ship so they were allowed to hang out in the older teen clubs but I do not know Carnival's rules for this.

If you are paying for the friends cruise fare then you can make any rules you like - just like older teens living at home

Elder daughter brought a friend (male) on our cruise which included two days at Universal Studios on our way to the port in Florida. Be sure the friend chosen to accompany you has the same "travel style" as you do. We were fortunate in that our guest was extremely easy-going, not a behavior problem at all and even had his own spending money for Tshirts, etc. He had a passport and had travelled extensively previously yet this was his first cruise.

In Miami Beach, they went to the beach walk-over and kicked off their shoes at the bottom, leaving them there until they returned. However, MBeach isn't like our usual Florida family-friendly vacation spot - their flip-flops vanished and we had to walk a long, long, hot way to a CVS to buy substitute footwear the evening before we went to the port!

In Cozumel, don't let them go through the store that you walk through to get back to the ship alone. The sales people get a kick out of giving teenagers free samples of tequila! My niece and her friend got trashed before we knew what was going on and both were under age at the time!

Our twin boys have brought friends on multiple vacations with us. I highly recommend some practice runs before the actual trip. That way you will know what to expect from the teen's behavior. Go for a few overnight outings and see how it goes. The kids that travel with us know that we make the rules and they get to follow them. They are also frequent visitors to our home so we have a pretty good idea if we are compatible as a group. So far we have had great luck having friends along. As mentioned previously, meeting with the parents and having the teen involved with the planning process really helps a lot as well.

Since your daughter will be 18, I suggest she brings someone else who is also at least 18. If she brings a 17 y/o, they could run into issues at venues where you must be 18+ (dance club, casino, etc.)

See, I never thought of that. Thanks.

Our twin boys have brought friends on multiple vacations with us. I highly recommend some practice runs before the actual trip. That way you will know what to expect from the teen's behavior. Go for a few overnight outings and see how it goes. The kids that travel with us know that we make the rules and they get to follow them. They are also frequent visitors to our home so we have a pretty good idea if we are compatible as a group. So far we have had great luck having friends along. As mentioned previously, meeting with the parents and having the teen involved with the planning process really helps a lot as well.

Completely agree, exactly how we did it when our Son brought along a friend.

These replies are enlightening and helpful. Travel compatibility is not something I gave a lot of thought to. There are a couple girls my daughter is close friends with (and has been for many years) that I know and like well enough that if money was the only reason they couldn't go (one of them, not both), we would pay their way as if the girl was our daughter. They're genuinely nice girls who wouldn't create sticky or dangerous situations with boys or alcohol or any kind of dangerous behavior. The kind of rules I would have for them would probably be no different than the ones their own parents would insist on. That being said, these replies have helped me understand that even if we all just love each other to death, there are other things to consider.

This will sound really dumb BUT if it hadn't happened to me I wouldn't have thought of it.

 

We brought a teenager along that expressed excitement for going on the trip etc (she had never been on a cruise) and then we get on the trip and she announced she wanted to keep her skin pale and under no circumstances could she be in the sun getting a tan.

 

Um huh? You realize we are on a Caribbean vacation right? I asked why she didn't mention it or why did she want to come on a beachy vacation? All I got was I don't know.

 

I got her sunscreen which she slathered on non stop and then pouted so much on my beach day we went back to the ship early. (I wasn't going to go back but my husband got tired of it and said let's just go back)

Wow, not dumb at all. You have given me a lot to think about. Your experience brings up so many issues that we should try to address ahead of time. It also helps me remember that this is my husband's vacation. While he agrees it's a good idea for her to bring a friend, I want to make sure it's a friend he wouldn't mind having as part of our family for a week and a half.