Leaving my Little one at home?

[CanadianTwosome]

Thanks everyone, for you opinions and insight. I can see solid points everyone's posts. My husband and I, too, both married with plans to start a family and have been fortunate enough to have planned both children and are blessed with great kids. We do spend LOTS of family time together. I am a SAHM and my husband only works 2 weeks out of each month, so we are definitely together as a family often. I have never left either of my children, not even for a night at this point. However, my MIL lives with us and is hands on with the kids everyday, so I have complete confidence in her caring for my little guy. I know she would keep both kids if we asked, but I intended to take them both with us until she offered to keep the little one home with her since he wouldn't be able to do much and DS3 is having some jealousy issues.

We are not leaving him because we feel he would be a burden, but because we feel he wouldn't be as entertained or stimulated as he usually is and his routine would be seriously disrupted for much longer than the 7 days we'd be at sea.

 

Anyway, we've decided that it is best for him to spend his vacation at home this time and he will be joining us on several other family vacations this year and a cruise that we intend to book for the same time next year. Thanks again!

 

I think you've made the right choice - especially since staying with Grandma doesn't mean uprooting him and staying with a virtual stranger (which many grandparents are at that age).

 

Your older son has had to give up a BIG share of Mommy and Daddy's attention since his new brother arrived. It will even out later, but for now, the baby still needs more of your attention and your older son can't help but notice. I think it's a perfect opportunity to give Grandma some special baby time - which she was able to spend with your older son before the new one arrived - and to give your oldest son a very special holiday where he gets all of your attention when he's with you. :)

[mjkacmom]

As to some of the other posters -- on Monday, I shared a conversation with the neighbor's son, a really wonderful 20-something young man at home from college to take care of two of his much younger siblings whilst mom and dad were "getting away from the kids" (their words, not mine) for a long-long weekend trip (only a 3-day cruise but another 3-days travel time).

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My sister and I LOVED when our parents took their yearly vacation! We got to stay with friends/neighbors, and they got to stay with us when their parents went away.

[JColquhoun]

We have a son with ADHD. I find myself working harder on trips with him then at home. But we never leave him behind. He is eleven now, and we just got back from Egypt on a RCCL cruise. I was tell my son that he is my bud. My advice take the kids.

[6rugrats]

We have a son with ADHD. I find myself working harder on trips with him then at home. But we never leave him behind. He is eleven now, and we just got back from Egypt on a RCCL cruise. I was tell my son that he is my bud. My advice take the kids.

My children are not my "buds", they have friends of their own, and so do I, but whatever works for you is best.

 

Taking a vacation without them once a year is one of the best things my DH and I ever do (and yes, we also have at least one family trip). They love staying with another family member and getting spoiled rotten. I am surprised to read the other post about an adult who felt "dumped" when his parents went on a vacation once a year. Seems odd.

[Ontario cruise duo]

I must be honest and say that I haven't read everyone's replies. But my answer to you would be to leave BOTH your kids at home. While they are still young and not able to remember if they went with you or stayed at home with relatives, it's a great opportunity for you and your significant other to travel alone. Our cruises have always been just the two of us and we did leave our kids for the first time when they were around 4 and 6 with both sets of grandparents sharing and caring for them while we were gone on our first cruise. As they get older and are able to remember the trips, is the time to take them. We've done Disney (x 2), Mexico and Scotland with them during the years 8 - 17. My DS (23) is satisfied with the trips we've taken over the years, while my DD (25) still asks when we are going on another "family" vacation. Been there, done that.:) Enjoy YOUR alone time while you still can.;) You won't regret it (and they won't hold it over your head at this age). Something to think about.:rolleyes:

[SusieV]

We tried to do most of our travelling before we decided to have children. My husband still travels frequently for business but now instead of going with him, I stay home with my son.

 

Honestly, we had no plans to take our son anywhere until he was old enough to remember it. It's much easier to keep him in a familiar environment with all his things, and he enjoys himself just as much.

 

We are taking him on a cruise this December but that's because the whole family is going and they have promised to take turns looking after Matthew so that we can have some time to ourselves. We think of cruising as a romantic, relaxing vacation, and frankly chasing after a toddler is neither of those things! If Grandma wasn't going on this trip, we'd leave him with her. He gets quality bonding time with his grandparents and Mom and Dad get to recharge their batteries together. Sounds like a win-win to me.

 

We're going to Niagara Falls for 2 nights next month for our anniversary and leaving him with Grandma.

 

We'll travel with him when he gets older, but we always plan on taking time for ourselves, too. We're not just parents- we're also spouses.

[jerin]

You know yourself and your little one best. It's not really something that anyone else can answer for you.

 

I've cruised twice without my children (3, 4 and 5, then 2, 6, 8 and 9), and once with them (2, 3 and 4). We'll be sailing with them again at the end of the year (ages 6, 10, 11, 12).

When I cruised without them, they were with my parents, and both I and they were very comfortable with the situation. I homeschool them, so I really don't mind being around them at all, but on the other hand, they're my full-time job, so vacationing with them tends to be just a continuation of my 24/7 job.

I usually really enjoy the break for the first 5 days, and then by day 7, I'm ready to get back to them. Traveling with three little ones was pretty hectic, and I was ready to get off the ship on day 3 (short cruise), but not in the de-stressed way that I was on the later cruises without them. Now that they're older and able to care for themselves more, and also will be able to be more independent with activities (kids' club) and in the older ones' case, exploring the ship.

On the other hand, I've traveled with companions who were nervous and felt the need to call several times a day from every port and at least once a day from the ship. With what they spent on phone bills, they probably could have paid for a 3rd passenger in the room and enjoyed their vacation more.

 

 

We have just booked a cruise on Carnival Pride for 7 days out of MD on 4/11/2010. My DH and MIL have convinced me to leave our youngest (he'd be 14 months at day of departure and walks very well already) at home with her while we go. We are bringing DS3 on for his first time. Reading many of the posts on the family board convinces me I could do it with both kids. Am I crazy to want to try and bring my little guy? Is it worth it?

[rian90]

I also think you made a good choice. We took our 18 month old on a cruise along with our other two older children. It was a big mistake. She was not old enough for the kids program so we took her everywhere we went. She was a 'runner' and she loved the long decks on the ship but of course, we were worried about her falling overboard or off the stairs or getting lost, etc. We spent most of our time chasing her around and really didn't have much of a vacation at all. We were unable to spend a lot of time with the other two, even when they were not in the kids program (they were 9 and 11 at the time). Taking a young child to a new place with different surroundings can be a bit scary for parents. :)

 

Leaving the child at home does not mean you are a bad parent or want to escape from your child. Every parent needs a break...and we rarely get one! My 18 month old is now 12 and we took three of the kids (the oldest is married and living elsewhere now) on a cruise last March. They had a wonderful time and will never forget it. I really don't think my 12 year old would have been traumatized by staying with Grandma for a few days when she was 18 months old!

 

Our next cruise is just for hubby and I. All three kids are staying home with grandparents. This time it is an escape and I FULLY admit it! Try living with a couple of teens and a preteen 24 hours a day (they are homeschooled) and maybe you will need a break! This does not mean I don't love or want my kids. I went through more than most to get them and I certainly want them but as someone here said, I am more than just a parent!

[A&Emom]

You've made your choice and seem happy with it. For me my motto is "When I roll, my kids roll". Dh may not be able to make it, but if my kids can't go that I can't either.

[Twinkie13]

I have left my son (now 4 years old) with grandma for the past few cruises ever since we had him. It's nice to get away and fully feel stress free and spend some quality time together. I would call home every oher day just to check in. Of course, I bought a new toy for each day we were away on the cruise. Grandma was given instructions one per day keeping him busy. I have finally talked my husband into a 7 day cruise for next year as it seemed he has more of the seperation anxiety then I did :D

[Onessa]

My children are not my "buds". . . .

That's rather sad. While DD has plenty of friends of her own, and DH and I each have friends of our own -- we all do enjoy each other's company.

. . . I am surprised to read the other post about an adult who felt "dumped" when his parents went on a vacation once a year. Seems odd.

Suppose it depends upon who was taking care of him and his parent's attitude (who as I have heard them say do it "to get AWAY from the kids")

 

. . . they are still young and not able to remember if they went with you or stayed at home with relatives, it's a great opportunity for you and your significant other to travel alone. . . .

If children are "so young" and "don't remember", why not just dump all kids under 8YO into a pit for the first 8 years of life? That would certainly make life a lot easier for everyone!

 

While spending time with loving, caring relatives so that Mom and Dad can do something special is not bad, assuming that just because little Johnie won't specifically remember visting the beach at Cabowhere-ever doesn't mean that he would not benefit from spending that time with his parents and family. There are many things that shape our lives that we do not specifically recall. You might not recognize your first-grade teacher if he/she walked up to you today (mine certainly would not recognize me!) and you may be pretty fuzzy about 95% of what went on throughout that school year, but that does not mean that first-grade was a waste of time!

[Onessa]

While spending time with loving, caring relatives so that Mom and Dad can do something special is not bad, assuming that just because little Johnie won't specifically remember visting the beach at Cabowhere-ever doesn't mean that he would not benefit from spending that time with his parents and family. There are many things that shape our lives that we do not specifically recall. You might not recognize your first-grade teacher if he/she walked up to you today (mine certainly would not recognize me!) and you may be pretty fuzzy about 95% of what went on throughout that school year, but that does not mean that first-grade was a waste of time!

 

Not to be harsh - but the idea that little kids don't remember so it "doesn't matter" just is not true. (although in the OP's case, getting time for the littlest one to have some one-on-one time with G-ma, could be a very positive experience)

[akcruz]

This topic comes up every once in a while here and first off I will say that as the parent you are the best person to make a decision on what is best for you and your family. Nobody can make that decision for you, but there are a lot of people who can give you tidbits to consider to help you make the appropriate decision for you.

 

When my DD was just over a year old DH and I planned a vacation that would fit nicely into her schedule. When we were just ready to book, my MIL said why are you taking her, she's too young and you guys deserve a nice quiet trip. I argued and argued, but eventually decided to give it a try. It was the best thing I ever did. My DD and grandma and grandpa had a wonderful time together and did DH and I. Before that I would have said no way would I ever leave my kids, but give the chance to see what it did for all of us I am so grateful to my MIL. DH and I have 2 kids and do a trip every few years on our own and of course we fit in many family trips along the way as well. My DD is now 19 and away at college yet I talk to her at least 3 - 4 times a week. It did nothing detrimental to our relationship, we are very close, but she knows who the parent is.

 

On the opposite side of the situation is one of her very good friends who's mother insists on everything being done as a family. A few years ago, the mother thought they were the best buddies in the world and that her daughter enjoyed all the time they spent as a family. However, I saw the other side when she came to my house to get away from her mother who she felt was very overbearing. My DD's friend is also now at college and guess what, hardly speaks with her mother. She always felt her mother was trying to more of a friend than a parent.

 

Now I can't and definitely won't say that this is what happens in each of these situations, but I am sure its different than what a lot of people would say. Again, only you know what is best for you and your kids. Just make sure to think about it from their perspective as well as yours.