Illogical fears?

[kah123]

Hi everyone....while this may be my first post, I've been reading this forum for a while now. I don't know if this thread belongs here or not. I'm not a first time cruiser but this will be my first cruise with children. I think I have an irrational fear about this upcoming cruise. We are going with a large group with 5 children total, 2 of which are mine. A 5 year old a 2 year old.

 

My daughter is 43" tall and I know the rails are 45" tall. My fears come into play two ways. One is her pulling up. She's a climber and pulls up on everything. She has amazing upper body strength and pulls up really quickly. I'm terribly afraid of her pulling up on the rails so quickly that I won't be able to stop her or me taking my eyes off of her for a second thinking she's with someone else in the group.

 

My other fear is someone else in the group holding either of my children to close to the railing.

 

I realize this fear may be irrational but I would like others experience travelling with children. Your experiences and feelings about the railings on the cruise ships. I guess I should mention that we are travelling on Carnival Triumph in case that makes any difference. We had another tripped planned last year and I ended up cancelling before making my final payment because of the same fears. Someone please help ease my mind. Thanks.

[KirkNC]

I don't think it is irrational, it is what parents do, worry about everything that can go wrong and hurt our children. I do think your daughter being able to climb over the rail is unlikely as long as she is properly supervised. As to someone else holding your child near the rail, I would just not let anyone do that if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

Welcome to CC!

 

Kirk

[Dayenu]

The 5-year-old should already understand when you explain that s/he is not allowed to climb the railings, and when s/he wants to climb, you will tell where it's allowed (maybe stairways or some other safe area)

 

As for the 2-year-old, there are "leashes" that look like backpacks with belts, they will keep the small one safe.

 

Don't get a balcony cabin, and don't take them to the promenade level. Other levels are safer.

[Honbun]

I had the exact same fear when I took my DD (who turned 3 during the cruise) for her 1st cruise. I had a lot of talks with her (well, as much as an almost 3 yo will sit for a talk ;)). She also spent a lot of time in the kids camp (of her own volition). Wish I had thought of the leash. I had one (we lived in Brooklyn at the time and she was a runner) but didn't think to use it then.

 

She'll have a grand time and once you realize nothing will happen, so will you. Don't cancel, just go prepared. It's really no different than taking your DD to a busy city.

[janabm81]

No fear is irrational. I would personally not let her near the railing with out holding your hand...she can't climb and hold your hand at the same time. As far as someone holding her while near a railing...just make sure everyone knows your fears and don't let them hold her while on the balcony or near a railing. You should be okay though because as another poster said the main places where there could be lower railings are the promenade and the room balconies. Everything else is either inside or built up taller.

 

Relax...Breathe....And have loads of fun with your kids and family! :)

[AlanAllyn]

If you have not already found it, I suggest that you look on the family cruising board.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=49

[6rugrats]

No fear is irrational.

Of course there are irrational fears; these are very common in people who are suffering from an anxiety disorder (not commenting about OP).

[cb at sea]

Once you're on the ship, you'll see that your fears are unfounded...so far, there's never been a case of a child "falling" off a ship. If you want her to go overboard, you'll have to throw her yourself.

[SuiteTraveler]

To allay your fears:

 

1. Tell all the adults in your group that they cannot hold either of your children on stairs or near railings, period. I'm sure they will understand.

 

I did see a toddler plummet 3 stories in a shopping mall. His mom had been holding him as she came up the last of the escalators in the center of the mall and he was being a typical toddler and pushed off from her and actually did a backflip and fell. It was terrifying. These things DO happen. It is NOT irrational to be afraid of a child falling over any railing when an adult is holding him/her. Therefore, the utmost care must be exercised to insure that no one approaches a railing holding a child. Being direct and adamant about this issue is necessary for those who don't get it.

 

2. Don't get a balcony cabin. Even if your child doesn't pull up, she might climb on the chairs out there. A window cabin would be a far better/safer choice with young children.

 

3. The children's club areas are child-proofed, so you can be assured your kids will be safe in there. Utilize them.

 

4. Talk to your children about safety BEFORE your cruise.

 

5. When your children are with you, be vigilant - just like normal. If anyone mis-behaves, put them in timeout so that they will understand that being on a ship is just like being at home - they must obey the rules.

 

I don't think you need to cancel your vacation, you just need to have rules that everyone abides by and you need to be as vigilant on vacation as you are at home.

[alj1208]

My DS, 4.5 years old is 44.5 inches and very strong. He gives new meaning to the word, "active," and he's a great climber and big risk-taker. We cruised with him last week in a balcony cabin. We had no problems, but I did lots of research in advance on what the hazards might be and brought equipment to secure the doors if necessary. Please take note that the cabin door is also an issue. A child can easily open it and walk out of the cabin into the hall, because there is no deadbolt on the inside (for safety reasons).

 

Here's what I did:

 

*We told DS he was never allowed on the balcony alone. DH and I made sure he was never out there alone.

 

*We also made it a rule that NO ONE (it was just DH and I) will lift him up over the railing so he can see.

 

*We moved the furniture away from the edge of the balcony.

 

*We never left the sliding glass door open while we were lounging in the cabin or in the bathroom. It would have been nice to get some sea air, but we didn't feel that was safe with DS.

 

*Researched the ship in advance. It had all high glass sides -- no railings anywhere that a child could climb. The sliding glass door to the balcony had a child lock high up so a child couldn't reach. You should post on the family cruising forum to ask people what you can expect on your ship so you can prepare.

 

*Brought a tension rod (like you would use to hang a curtain) to secure the sliding glass door (turned out it wasn't necessary).

 

*Brought a door alarm for the cabin door (doorstop type -- it didn't fit).

 

 

IMHO, a balcony is nice if you have kids, because it's a place you and your spouse can go when the kids are sleeping. I also feel it's better if you are prone to motion sickness (like I am). With your two-year-old, I would bring an umbrella stroller AND a leash/backpack. Don't be afraid to strap the child into something for safety reasons. Prepare, be vigilant about precautions, and make sure EVERYONE travelling with you understands the rules.

[lrn2cruise]

Dad gum! it is tough being a Mommy! My son is 11 now and we are just now going on a cruise with him. I understand you fears so much! I had so many fears with my son that I had to go on meds to control them. They got that much out of hand.

 

I know it is tough, but I know I was on high alert when DS was that little. I would use the Kids Club on and off but then enjoy times with your precious little ones too.

[MrsPete]

Once you're on the ship, you'll see that your fears are unfounded...so far, there's never been a case of a child "falling" off a ship. If you want her to go overboard, you'll have to throw her yourself.

Absolutely true:

 

On the pool deck level, the ship has glass (plexiglass?) floor-to-ceiling, so it would be completely impossible to go overboard.

 

On the other levels, the rails are all inverted -- imagine a mountain climber climbing up an iverted slope; few of us could do that. The bottom edge of the rail is farther away than the top -- so to go over you'd have to be able to pull yourself up without use of your feet.

 

To make it even more difficult, the rails have plexiglass on the inside, which makes it impossible to get a foothold on the rails.

 

To go overboard, you'd have to use a chair, which is possible in a balcony cabin but would take effort and time to do in a public area -- and an adult would see a child doing it long before he could accomplish it.

 

Finally, the public decks of the ship are arranged like a wedding cake -- that is,the tiers get smaller as they go up. So if you could manage to go over the rail on Deck 9, you'd land on Deck 8 rather than the ocean. You'd break bones, to be sure, but you'd not be lost at sea.

 

Really, with all the kids who are completely ignored onboard, NONE of them go overboard. Kids who are supervised just aren't going to do it. The people who go overboard are adults who are drunk and doing something stupid or people who are the victims of foul play.

[Krazy Kruizers]

welcome to cruise critic

 

a lot of good advice above

 

enjoy your cruise

[kah123]

Wow...Thanks so much for all of the good advice. You guys are great on here.

 

We definitely do not have a balcony booked for this very reason. I'm glad to hear Camp Carnival is kidproof. That at least eases the fear of her being without me because I would definitely like her to enjoy Camp Carnival if she chooses.

 

Having already gone on 2 cruises prior to having children I never paid attention to the railing setups or how high they were or anything like that. I just took the cruise for what it was and enjoyed it.

 

The door alarm suggestion was a great one. We just recently took a family vacation and had a condo in the mountains. The room there had no safety latch or anything on it and opened right into a mountain side. There we just stuck a dining room chair under the door knob to prevent the kids from accidentally wandering outside at night instead of going into the bathroom. If the door alarm didn't fit...are there any other suggestions for this on the cruise? I hadn't even thought of the doors not having a safety latch like hotels have. Guess I didn't pay attention to that on my last cruises either.

 

Again, thanks so much for all of the advice. I think I love this board more and more every day.

[alj1208]

Regarding door alarms, there is a type that you hang on the doornob. Google it, and you will see the various options. There's also a product called a "door jam security bar." Amazon sells one made by Master Lock. It's also sold at Home Depot. It's basically a metal pole you can use to secure a door. Check it out. It's very interesting. It would probably fit in a suitcase.

[kah123]

Regarding door alarms, there is a type that you hang on the doornob. Google it, and you will see the various options. There's also a product called a "door jam security bar." Amazon sells one made by Master Lock. It's also sold at Home Depot. It's basically a metal pole you can use to secure a door. Check it out. It's very interesting. It would probably fit in a suitcase.

 

Thanks so much...I'll check on this asap and hopefully I can find one that will work.

[griffy116]

No fear can be discounted when children are involved and there is no such thing as too safe. There are the door alarms..both for the sliding doors and the door into the hallway. Also, there aren't really railings. The balcony has plexiglass so there is nothing for them to get a "footing" onto except the chairs, furniture on the balcony. Obviously you won't allow her to be unattended and purchasing the alarms is always a good idea. When we originally started cruising, my Grandson was 4. We were more worried about the balcony (and they didn't have the alarms back then). One of our relatives opened our cabin door and my Grandson slid out into the hallway before the door shut. After about 2 terrifying moments, we opened the cabin door and there he stood :eek:!!! That was our most frightening moment with him on the cruise but we would never want to have that feeling repeated. No one should be holding a small child right up against the railings..YIKES..I'm with you on that fear!

[Marian Paroo]

My fear is that I won't get my cruise packet in time.

 

What then? They must has a list of who is on the cruise at the pier, right?

 

And just what's in the cruise packet, anyway?

[Poodle Lady]

Hi everyone....while this may be my first post, I've been reading this forum for a while now. I don't know if this thread belongs here or not. I'm not a first time cruiser but this will be my first cruise with children. I think I have an irrational fear about this upcoming cruise. We are going with a large group with 5 children total, 2 of which are mine. A 5 year old a 2 year old.

 

My daughter is 43" tall and I know the rails are 45" tall. My fears come into play two ways. One is her pulling up. She's a climber and pulls up on everything. She has amazing upper body strength and pulls up really quickly. I'm terribly afraid of her pulling up on the rails so quickly that I won't be able to stop her or me taking my eyes off of her for a second thinking she's with someone else in the group.

 

My other fear is someone else in the group holding either of my children to close to the railing.

 

I realize this fear may be irrational but I would like others experience travelling with children. Your experiences and feelings about the railings on the cruise ships. I guess I should mention that we are travelling on Carnival Triumph in case that makes any difference. We had another tripped planned last year and I ended up cancelling before making my final payment because of the same fears. Someone please help ease my mind. Thanks.

 

Heck, my kids are 17 and 24 and I worry about the same thing! My kids are certainlly old enough to take care of themselves, but I still worry. I have talked with both of them about not drinking too much, not sitting on railings, not letting people into their room, not going off with strangers. "I know, mooooom..." :rolleyes:

[earlynurse]

My children went on their first cruise, they were 9 and 2. My 9 year was "Chicken Little" Scared of everything. thankfully she outgrew it, but I had told here about going to near the rails and going out on the balconey. My 2 year, she was just that 2 and was not to interested in leaving me except to play with the other children in the children camp. That was 19 years ago and we are going on a cruise this time with my 4 year granddaughter. She is brave, bold, active. I have started talking to her as well as her mother. So will I be fearful? Of course. Will her mother be fearful? Of course. But with the children's camp, the threat of timeouts and a spanking if needed should calm some fears.

[kah123]

Its certainly good to hear I'm not alone in my fears. I've ordered a door alarm. I've spoken to my daughter. Our cruise is exactly a month away and I will be doing much more talking to her as well. I'm sure my fears will be put at bay once on the boat. You guys have certainly made me feel better.