Teen accuses RCI Employee of Rape

[crusinmama06]

Another sad reminder that crimes happen at sea :(

 

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/crime/fl-royal-caribbean-rape-20110512,0,1998352.story

[onthelake]

There are always a lot of discussions here about how much freedom to give young people and at what age. This is a great reminder that alone, one is vulnerable when someone is determined to commit an offense. A ship is a floating city and will always be people waiting to take advantage. Don't underestimate the danger or overestimate the maturity. Often, maturity is not the issue as much as vulnerability.

[6rugrats]

Don't underestimate the danger or overestimate the maturity. Often, maturity is not the issue as much as vulnerability.

 

Agree; this girl certainly knew she was drinking alcohol, yet she states she had several drinks. Please do not construe this comment as any sort of blame on this girl as to what happened. Merely a comment, that if she was a little bit more mature, she wouldn't have placed herself in this situation.

[sandytoes03]

We also don't know the whole story. The article more or less just gave her account.

[junglejane]

As the parent of a 14 year old DD, I definitely worry more now than I did when she was younger and in the kids' program. I always felt very confident with the kids' program staff. But the teen programs are always much less structured and less supervised. My 14 year old is almost 5'9" tall and looks much older than she actually is. On our last cruise, I really stressed that she was not to socialize with anyone other than teens she met in the teen center, and she was never to accept any kind of drink that she didn't get herself directly from a machine or server. And of course the all important rule that you never go in anyone else's cabin.

 

I really wonder about the bartender mentioned in the article. It says he wasn't disciplined because he didn't serve the drinks directly to the minor. But it's hard to believe he didn't realize what was going on.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

I posted on here a while ago that I was molested by a crew member on a cruise when I was 15. Fortunately I knew better and fought him off and that was the end of it. He was American and the lead singer in the band. He was very handsome and my mother really thought highly of him. When he asked me if I wanted to see where he lived on the ship- I went willingly thinking that I was special and was getting a behind the scenes tour. Little did I know that this 25 year old man would try to have sex with me. He didn't but I never told my mother. This was 31 years ago- it happens!

[kitty9]

And you wonder why you can't get some parents to understand that leaving teens to wander a cruise ship alone is a bad idea. You don't need alcohol to get molested, just some scuzzbag who wants to mistreat women.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

Definitely- on my last Holland America cruise I noticed a young girl with braces in the buffet flirting a bit with one of the crew members. He was obviously encouraging this and it was totally inappropriate. Even the other crew member was telling him to leave her alone.

 

So you don't want your tweens and teens running wild.

[junglejane]

Remember too that the teen in the news story was celebrating a high school graduation trip. So presumably she was at least 17 if not 18. My point is just that you wouldn't expect her parents to be with her 24/7.

 

At some point you have to let your teen have some independence. I think that a cruise ship can actually be a good place for parents to experiment with small doses of independence, and to reward responsible behavior or punish irresponsible behavior. If you kid reaches age 18 and can't be left anywhere unsupervised, then you have big problems indeed.

[celle]

Remember too that the teen in the news story was celebrating a high school graduation trip. So presumably she was at least 17 if not 18. My point is just that you wouldn't expect her parents to be with her 24/7.

 

At some point you have to let your teen have some independence. I think that a cruise ship can actually be a good place for parents to experiment with small doses of independence, and to reward responsible behavior or punish irresponsible behavior. If you kid reaches age 18 and can't be left anywhere unsupervised, then you have big problems indeed.

 

Remember the rule that some parents impose? - never go to anyone's cabin and never invite anyone into your cabin. It's a very wise policy to stick to, no matter how old you are.

 

As I understand it, this teen did go to the crew member's cabin. No matter how innocent or trusting she was, this rule could have saved her from what happened.

[Colorado Kat]

Poor girl! But I have always told my girls to NEVER go to anyone's cabin, or have others in our cabin.

 

Liquor just causes a lot of problems.

[Maryscooking]

As I understand it, this teen did go to the crew member's cabin. No matter how innocent or trusting she was, this rule could have saved her from what happened.

 

Well...following the rule might have saved her.

 

My parents had all kinds of sensible rules for me, but I was so hard headed that by 17/18 there was no reasoning with me, and I did what I wanted. I was actually a good kid, did very well in school, didn't do drugs or much drinking at all. But I definitely thought I could take care of myself and didn't need parents to tell me what to do at that point.

 

Thank God I made it out of that phase mostly intact :cool:.

 

Just pointing out that her parents could have done their best and advised her correctly and she still might not have listened. Not that what happened was her fault. But not her parent's either.

[crusinmama06]

Well...following the rule might have saved her.

But not her parent's either.

 

I was the exact same way as you. I wasn't a horrible child. My parents had the rules in place. But if they would have checked to see if I was actually following those rules, then I might have stayed out of some trouble. ;)

 

In this case -- the 17 year old teen was drinking all night with a 31 year old man. She went back to his cabin at 2am. At ANY point during the night, her parents could have checked in on her -- but they didn't, obviously.

 

So I put a little more blame on the parents than most. They could have stopped this from happening. And THIS is why I am so vigilant with my kids. I know what I did when I was that age. I KNOW what my parents could have done.

 

Yes, kids should have independence and freedom to make their own mistakes. But on a cruise ship, and people from all over the world and no way to really prove a crime (and they know it) -- the cruise is not a place to allow a child to make that first mistake.

[Warm Breezes]

I was the exact same way as you. I wasn't a horrible child. My parents had the rules in place. But if they would have checked to see if I was actually following those rules, then I might have stayed out of some trouble. ;)

 

In this case -- the 17 year old teen was drinking all night with a 31 year old man. She went back to his cabin at 2am. At ANY point during the night, her parents could have checked in on her -- but they didn't, obviously.

 

So I put a little more blame on the parents than most. They could have stopped this from happening. And THIS is why I am so vigilant with my kids. I know what I did when I was that age. I KNOW what my parents could have done.

 

Yes, kids should have independence and freedom to make their own mistakes. But on a cruise ship, and people from all over the world and no way to really prove a crime (and they know it) -- the cruise is not a place to allow a child to make that first mistake.

 

I agree with you. My DD is 14. She is also 5' 11" and very athletic from being a dancer. She looks much older than she is. She knows the rules. Only drink from drinks that she purchases and kept an eye on. Do not go in anyone elses room. Do not let anyone in her room. The majority of the time we are cruising she is with us (because she wants to be and not because we ask her to be). She does not like the teen clubs because she would rather hang out with DS who is 17 (he is 6'8"). When they are not with us they are together doing things like mini-golfing or the arcade. I don't worry about them because they are together, I know where they are (and I check up on them once in a while if it is for an extended period), and they are very well behaved (they have proven to be trustworthy over the years). Occassionally DD asks to go off on her own to get ice cream or a drink. When she does that, I know where she is going and she is never gone long. If it took her longer than anticipated I would go looking. I always get rooms close to the stairway/elevators so the kids can stay in public places and not have to go down long halls of rooms.

 

I wonder in cases like this why the parents didn't check on her. They could have stopped this when they caught her drinking at the bar. I would treat my 17 year old as I would my 14 year old. Any long absences like that would have been definate red flag for me and I would have gone looking.

 

This is a horrible thing that happened her. I hope parents pay attention and don't stop being a parent when they are cruising. Know where your kids/teens are. Make sure they know where you are. And follow up to make sure they are doing what they said they would if they are gone of extended periods of time. We can give them some freedom with occasional checks to keep them safe and to make sure they are following your rules (peer pressure and alcohol can cloud a good kids judgement so we still need to be the parent and follow up).