Advice for successful cruise with 2 teenagers

[Marigold183]

I will be sailing in February on the Ruby with my 2 teen daughters, 14 and 16. We will also be traveling with my parents who will be in a separate cabin. This will be the teens second cruise.

 

I was wondering if any of you have advice for helping them have fun as well as stay safe, and not be annoying to other guests. What liberties as well as restrictions did you place on your teens? Did they participate in the teen club?

 

 

Thanks!

[Kmkub]

We're doing this in a few days (boys, 13 & 17) so I'm looking forward to the responses.

 

I've already got their Remix teen club permission slips filled out and in my folder. They are beyond excited and we plan to give them as much freedom as possible, with the very clear understanding that if they get reported for anything or if we see them being disruptive in any way, that freedom will disappear. (They are not really noisy/pillow fight/jumping on the beds types anyway, so we're not overly worried.)

 

We are also planning to remove their CC information from their room keys and letting them put their Christmas cash on their account to spend in any way they want. That way, they can buy whatever they want but there's no risk that they will go overboard. (lol... pun unintentional)

[junglejane]

Check out the Family cruising board because if you do a search there you should find lots of threads about this topic in a very supportive environment. I have a 15 year old DD and she went on two cruises last year, one on Princess and one on Celebrity, and participated in the teen programs on both cruises.

 

Our most important rules for her are (1) never go in anyone else's cabin and never invite anyone into our cabin without our permission, (2) keep us advised of where you are going and when you'll be back, and (3) stay in public spaces and out of bars, adult only venues and any staff/crew areas. I also check periodically to see if DD is where she said she'd be.

 

Our DD enjoyed the teen club on both cruises. There are some organized activities like teen dances, pool parties, or teen sporting events. But mostly the teen club was a place to meet up and then go off with some new friends. This is where your teen needs good judgment. It's just like hanging out with other kids at school or home. There are some bad apples out there. Some kids will be sneaking smokes, raiding their parents' mini-bar or otherwise getting into various degrees of mischief. Make sure your kid realizes that the whole family can be put off the ship at the next port if they break the ship rules. I always emphasize to my DD to walk away if the group she's with starts doing anything questionable.

 

Our teen had a fantastic time on both cruises and is anxious to go again. Here's my comments from the teen activities on our Sapphire cruise in March 2011: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1382149

[caribill]

I suggest you join the roll call for your cruise and ask if there are other families with teens on the roll call that they can make friends with via Cruise Critic before the cruise.

 

You can locate your roll call at http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=481

[World Gallery]

We have 3 that are now teens and have taken many cruises with them. I few thoughts:

1. Put one of those magnetic backed note pads on your door and hand a pen with ribbon onto the knob. Have them write where they are going with times and a back location if there will not be staying there in one place then you can write back and forth if you miss each other. One of the biggest frustrations ever is lack of communication. We are all so use to being able to get into touch with our kids quickly by text but phones don't always work and are expensive. I would highly suggest have a communication plan in place and calling your cell phone provider in advance to ask about adding a "text package" I just did this for our upcoming June cruise to Europe and it was something like $10 for 50 texts sent out and incoming free (AT&T) but I still don't know how well the phones will work at sea. I can't stress this enough, the frustration of going from instant, easy communication to none at times.

We have also tried every kind of walkie talkie and those are just okay. One big problem with teens in the evening is that in the teen club where my kids did go a lot, the music is so loud, they couldn't hear us calling on the walkie talkie. Talking about communication options is very important.

2. Try to meet the kids your kids meet and try to talk to the parents and get their cabin numbers early on. By the 2nd cruise day, my 17 year old had about 8 kids he met that instantly bonded and hung around the whole cruise. One of the kids in the group had "snuck" some alcohol from the parents cabin and a few of the kids drank it. From what I could tell, these were all good kids, well-behaved but kids will be kids so you have to be careful and talk in advance.

[elmom]

So we never cruised with our teenagers, but we have traveled with them (we are cruising with our little kids) and I found something that worked very, very well for our boys when at WDW and at a beach house vacation.

 

Husband and I wrote a list of about 10 rules. We decided the parts that were not up for negotiation like...no drug/alcohol use. Other things were soft and somewhat open to negotiation.

 

We sat down with the boys and explained that we needed a list of rules they (and we) had to abide by, but that we wanted them to be part of making it. We sat and talked for about 30 minutes while we narrowed it down to 4 key rules that were about keeping them safe while still allowing them to have a lot of fun.

 

This worked well and they followed them all. There were a few reminder moments, but they were 14 and 16 and enjoyed the sense of control.

 

We had a consistent consequence that if they didn't follow the rules we all agreed to, they would have to spend their vacation 100% family time.

 

However when they traveled with their mother she had mandates and strict rules and they rebelled hard, ended up being locked out of hotel rooms, had the cops called on them and full blown screaming fights (they aren't bad kids, she is a crap mom).

 

So that is the approach we use with our kids and it has worked well. With our 17y/o niece we raise, we actually have her sign contracts. She tests the limits and "forgets"

[nw2this]

This a nice thread with good suggestions, I'm jotting some down. Last time I cruised my kids were not teens yet, but now they are.

 

BTW are the refridgerators/minibars lockable so that parents can get into them but kids can't? (On Carnival specifically)

 

I'll also add curfew at whatever time the teen club closes, dinner with us, and port days with us.

[nana of 3]

Keep searching on this board, there is a contract on here somewhere for kids to sign, I printed a few out myself for our DD, 13 and DS, 9 who we are taking on a cruise in 3 weeks. Very specific rules and places for both child/parent to sign. Mine will be thinking it came straight from Royal Caribbean, so there will be no messing around, lol.

[nana of 3]

I found it and bumped it up, titled rules for children. There is alot of good advice in this thread, and the contract is there, also.

[SadieN]

This a nice thread with good suggestions, I'm jotting some down. Last time I cruised my kids were not teens yet, but now they are.

 

BTW are the refridgerators/minibars lockable so that parents can get into them but kids can't? (On Carnival specifically)

 

I'll also add curfew at whatever time the teen club closes, dinner with us, and port days with us.

 

Either the fridges are locked or not. The stewards have the keys.

 

Our curfew for our teens was 15 minutes after the last teen event ended for the night. For Carnival this was 1:15a.

 

When they have their own cabin they had to call to say they were in. I then called them back to confirm.

[TheCalicoCat]

On Carnival, we put most of the mini bar stuff into the safe. (I wanted my own soda cold...)

 

No teen advice, we are only cruiseing with a 3.5 year old. His 3rd cruise in June so hopefully by the time he is a teen, he will be an old hand at it...

 

I have read elsewhere that some parents set a rule that the family had to eat meals together... I like that one myself.

[Onessa]

Just got back from chaperoning 191 teens (about 40 chaperones/staff) on a 8 day band trip.

 

With DD and cruising we've had just a few rules. We meet her friends, she NEVER is alone, and she checks in regularly. She is very responsible and has never been a problem.

 

While the band kids are exceptionally "good" kids, there were still a few times I was glad we had set down some very specific rules and had the kids and their parents sign the "contract". I've discovered that kids "forget" and/or don't always listen.

 

• Writing down the expectations for the day the night before, helps. If you have a shore excursion planned for example, this way they will know when they need to be ready and what they may need to bring with them.
  
• Check in times and a very easy check in process helps. EVERYONE needs to abide (all kids and both parents).
  
• There is safety in numbers, the kids should stick together. Never be alone anywhere.
  

Whatever rules you come up with, make certain everyone understands them and that everyone abides. If someone messes up, let the punishment fit the crime (no over punishment, no under punishment)

[Sugar*Magnolia]

Only you know your kids. Set rules, set limitations. A Ship is a like a big city. We have cruised with our kids during the teenage years and it was always great. Set times and places to meet, use post-its, wipe boards, voice mail to communicate. As said earlier, the obvious fact, never go with someone into their cabin, which I might add, often happens, in groups. Dont walk alone and there is never really a reason to be walking in quiet cabin hallways.

 

We always, 100% of the time enjoy dinner together. We have found the teens our teens friended have done the same with their families (but not 100% of the time). If you want to set a limit they are allowed to charge on their SEAPASS, discuss that too. We never have, but ours never abused the privilege. We always felt like it was their vacation, so they can use the seapass how they like. We're probably not the norm though. [so, set limits if you need to]

 

Enjoy!!

 

 

[ellej]

What a great blog this is! These suggestions are outstanding.

 

I read something that deeply concerned me, and I think it would concern any parent of a teen. If you read this 12-year-old girl's story, you realize as she is talking about what was going through her mind, that she is smart. She sensed that her surroundings were not quite right. She wanted out of the situation. She thought she was going to see dolphins...she was not trying to be a bad girl....she was fooled, and she realized it was not heading in the right direction, and yet, she was still trying to be polite because she was with a crew member who she had initially trusted, and like many nice 12-year-old girls, she had been taught some manners. And when she realized she HAD TO GET OUT of the situation, it was too late, she was trapped. It is absolutely heartbreaking.

 

http://www.cruiserape.com/jamiesstory.php

 

The only reason I share this, is not to freak people out that have teens and are going on a cruise (I have an 18 month old and am very protective of course). But just to reiterate to your kids about not going ANYWHERE with anyone on the ship that is not family...not just cabins, but ANYWHERE (other than supervised-teen program where group will be). If reading this story helps anyone "step it up" with their communication on board, or their communication ahead of time of the cruise as far as safety measures, then I'm super glad I shared it.

 

I know we've all read things in the news, but this one is a personal story told from the child's perspective. It makes you realize how much your kids can "hold inside" for the sake of everyone else around them. Bless her heart!

 

Safe travels to everyone on this board! May you and your families have an amazing trip!! God Bless!

[kassimer1]

This a nice thread with good suggestions, I'm jotting some down. Last time I cruised my kids were not teens yet, but now they are.

 

BTW are the refridgerators/minibars lockable so that parents can get into them but kids can't? (On Carnival specifically)

 

I'll also add curfew at whatever time the teen club closes, dinner with us, and port days with us.

 

or you can ask the steward to remove the it from the room

[kassimer1]

What a great blog this is! These suggestions are outstanding.

 

I read something that deeply concerned me, and I think it would concern any parent of a teen. If you read this 12-year-old girl's story, you realize as she is talking about what was going through her mind, that she is smart. She sensed that her surroundings were not quite right. She wanted out of the situation. She thought she was going to see dolphins...she was not trying to be a bad girl....she was fooled, and she realized it was not heading in the right direction, and yet, she was still trying to be polite because she was with a crew member who she had initially trusted, and like many nice 12-year-old girls, she had been taught some manners. And when she realized she HAD TO GET OUT of the situation, it was too late, she was trapped. It is absolutely heartbreaking.

 

http://www.cruiserape.com/jamiesstory.php

 

The only reason I share this, is not to freak people out that have teens and are going on a cruise (I have an 18 month old and am very protective of course). But just to reiterate to your kids about not going ANYWHERE with anyone on the ship that is not family...not just cabins, but ANYWHERE (other than supervised-teen program where group will be). If reading this story helps anyone "step it up" with their communication on board, or their communication ahead of time of the cruise as far as safety measures, then I'm super glad I shared it.

 

I know we've all read things in the news, but this one is a personal story told from the child's perspective. It makes you realize how much your kids can "hold inside" for the sake of everyone else around them. Bless her heart!

 

Safe travels to everyone on this board! May you and your families have an amazing trip!! God Bless!

 

this is why we have a rule that if any crew or adult tell my teen that he is to go with them or say we are hurt he is to tell them he would be glad to but he has to go to the service desk first and verify that the crew member is ok . they are not likely to take them to the desk and then do something to them. and if they try to force them against thier will lscream fire over and over again.