Separation Anxiety? Anyone?

[marylp]

I'm feeling very anxious over leaving our daughter behind. She is 19 for crying out loud! But we have always cruised together and the hubbs and I are having our 20th wedding anniversary cruise. She is old enough I know. Our church family will keep an eye on her. We will buy the internet package to facetime or skype with her daily. Even so, the mama in me is really feeling it. Has anyone gone thru this? Am I the only one? :( We leave on the Magic on Jan 19th.

[JustCruiseMe]

I guess not cause my folks started leaving us at 16 bc we had jobs and we were happy for the experience...oh the parties...lol..nah just kidding..it will be fine.

[Mysticks1]

Yes, I have felt that but that was when my daughter was 15 and we went on a Mediterranean cruise and were gone for 2 weeks. She is 19 now and off at college 3.5 hours away so it really doesn't bother me anymore. We went on a Baltics Capitals cruise in May and were gone almost 2 weeks again and she watched the house for us while we were gone. We kept in touch by email and calling every other day or so just to check in. I wouldn't depend upon Skype, the internet speed is really slow on the ships and I don't think it works.

Edited December 14, 2013 by Mysticks1

[OCruisers]

Just wondering how your daughter feels about your cruising without her?

Is she making you feel guilty or something? :confused:

 

LuLu

~~~~

[nodogkisses]

marylp, I feel for you, but trust me, once you make it through this cruise. the next one gets a lot easier and all the ones after that even easier yet. DH and I first cruised without our "babies" early last year when they were 21 and 23. Since then, we've gone on 3 more cruises and no more separation anxiety. Well, maybe just a tiny bit. Our son doesn't live at home so I'm used to not seeing him as much, but our DD just graduated from college this year and is back with us as she starts her career. She gets grouchy when we leave without her, but we're getting used to this. It's a welcome change. Just go and enjoy yourselves. Relax. You'll be fine. Once you're on the ship, it' will be a lot easier to forget you left her home. It's rough, but you'll be fine. Have a good time.

[marylp]

No, not making us feel bad. We told her that we would pay for a trip for her and a friend for her 20th birthday. I guess its just me :( having trouble cutting the strings.

[marylp]

Nodogkisses, Thank you so much for that encouragement. I really needed to hear something just like that. From a mother to a mother :)

[Tre_220]

Marylp, as a mother I can relate. My husband and I will be taking a cruise and leaving our 18 year old son home alone and I am going through the same feelings / emotions that you are. Yes we both need to let go. However, the mother in us have a hard time doing that. Just say a special prayer with her before you leave then go enjoy your cruise knowing that she's in "his" hands.

[arush5268d]

I would not unless we were talking about a lengthy cruises - months on end. We are only talking about a few days for the typical cruise.

[marylp]

Tre, I have been praying alot! Thank you, indeed in his hands. Thanks to everyone who responded.

[Tutankhamen]

No, I get togetherness anxiety.

 

After school sports. Driving them to friends houses. Shopping for their needs. Cooking. "Dad I need this, Dad I need that", helping with school projects, "where is my coat", "I need a new cell phone".........

 

Kids, if you read this, it was said in humor. Mom and I will be sure to send you a post card in January from the Breeze.....if we remember.

Edited December 15, 2013 by Tutankhamen

[dmarie1623]

My husband and I decided to sail this January, just the two of us. I feel a smidgen of guilt, but neither boys wanted to go anyway. They have school, an internship and friends to keep them occupied. I suspect they are kinda glad that we will be out of their hair for a short while. :p I'm your daughter will be fine and you will have a great trip!

Edited December 15, 2013 by dmarie1623

[lilmizz]

IT will be ok, My youngest two who are 23 and 22 Dont really like going on Vacations with me anymore, now my oldest has never been on a cruise and we are taking her for a wedding present on January 18th ! 35 days! So i always feel a lil sad that they aren't with me BUT things get so much better once your on the ship!

[Roscoe13]

19? Maybe things have changed a lot since I was 19, actually I know that things have changed a lot.

 

I celebrated my 19th birthday in US Navy boot camp in San Diego. Don't think my mom was suffering separation anxiety, if anything she was probably a little proud.

[GayleR]

I'm sure your daughter will be fine. Please try to enjoy your cruise.

[Lerin]

I get anxiety, but my child is a pre-schooler.

Myself and all my siblings moved out of the house at 18. By 19 we were too busy with university, dating, friends and jobs to concern ourselves with our parents' vacation.

Sorry you're feeling this way, she'll be fine.

[Andoria]

I went on a 7 day cruise to Bermuda over the summer and left my 14 year old at home with his father. I did miss him but not nearly as bad as I thought I would. I excitedly called him on the morning I came back into port and he grumpily answered the phone telling me I woke him up.

 

So now I'm going on an 8 day cruise without him at the end of April. I don't even care what the ship has in terms of internet service because I know he'll be fine. That's the nice thing about having older kids.

[Weluv2cruise2007]

I'm feeling very anxious over leaving our daughter behind. She is 19 for crying out loud! But we have always cruised together and the hubbs and I are having our 20th wedding anniversary cruise. She is old enough I know. Our church family will keep an eye on her. We will buy the internet package to facetime or skype with her daily. Even so, the mama in me is really feeling it. Has anyone gone thru this? Am I the only one? :( We leave on the Magic on Jan 19th.

 

I wouldn't waste your money on an internet package hoping for Skype or Facetime....the internet will most likely not be fast enough to support it. Instead, just take your phone (on airplane mode) or iPad to shore with you and find a café with wireless.

[Isasprings]

I'm feeling very anxious over leaving our daughter behind. She is 19 for crying out loud! But we have always cruised together and the hubbs and I are having our 20th wedding anniversary cruise. She is old enough I know. Our church family will keep an eye on her. We will buy the internet package to facetime or skype with her daily. Even so, the mama in me is really feeling it. Has anyone gone thru this? Am I the only one? :( We leave on the Magic on Jan 19th.

My DD is 24 now she is very close to us but I cruise with and without

her since she was 16 I never buy internet package just a phone card in

the islands to call her.

Enjoy your anniversary:)

[cb at sea]

While I never left my teenager alone (I knew her too well!!), I never minded leaving her....it's healthy! You're supposed to be raising children so they WILL go away! They are supposed to leave you....this will be a good "dry run" for her and you!

[mjkacmom]

I left my oldest when she was just one (grandparents live in town), and left the other four kids when they were babies, as well (five kids in six years - needed a break!). Since then, DH and I have gone away many times without them, and they've gone away without us, on school trips, vacations with friends, etc. (the oldest is 17, and will be away at college next year anyway). Heck, dd17 was away three weeks over the summer on vacations with friends and dd12 at least two weeks. I'm jealous!

 

It's healthy!

Edited December 15, 2013 by mjkacmom

[gerif]

Ours were away at college at that age - wouldn't have even noticed if we were gone for a week - lol.

[sherryf]

I love my children and enjoy spending time with them, but I also like to get away from them every once in a while. I have no trouble leaving them for a week. I don't even call them, and only text to see how the cats are doing.

 

Sending my oldest away to college and not seeing him for months at a time was hard. Going away on a cruise is nothing compared to that.

[Onessa]

DD is 18 but still in high school. We plan trips so we can actually spend time together. Otherwise our lives are so busy it is difficult to connect. Different strokes for different folks.

 

When she is 19YO she will be 5+ hours away at school, and we have a trip planned for her holiday break because we'll be looking for some family time.

 

If your DD still lives with or very near you and you see her regularly, as others have stated, this might be a good thing for both of you. If she is ok with not going with you, you should not feel guilty or bad about traveling without her. Your trip and planning for her upcoming trip will give you lots to talk about!

[Athankfulheart]

I have 8 children ages 21 down to 7. We left them alone and went on a cruise for the first time when the oldest were 17 and 18. They were completely capable to run the house while we were gone, but I still had the normal, natural feelings of concern that a mom would have about her kids. We did the same when they were 20 and 19 and had much less worry because we had done it before. By that time they were coming home from college to help with their siblings for the week. I did NOT miss my children while I was gone an neither did my husband. We spend LOTS and LOTS of time together because we home educate as well as do alot of volunteer work together. After all the practical concerns were taken care of, we didn't have anything to worry about. We kept in touch ( both times) via the free page at Carnival's website. We saved texts for emergencies and never made a phone call. Our children had a wonderfully fun time while we were gone and talk about it often. We are cruising with all 8 of them in a couple of weeks and look fwd to a great time :)

 

My college kids travel for chorale and other things and my high schoolers have traveled completely alone to attend special functions with Civil Air Patrol. Sending your 16yo on a cross country flight alone to a place you have never seen is much harder than leaving them in my sleepy town amongst friends while you cruise :o

 

Equip your daughter with what she needs and then go and enjoy your trip :)

Edited December 19, 2013 by Athankfulheart