Appropriate Crew Gifts?

[Shmoo here]

I look at it the same as being invited to a party. I usually bring a gift for the hostess...maybe a bottle of wine. Using the logic of "cash is always the best gift" I should just stick a couple of twenties in a envelope and hand it to the hostess while saying "I was too lazy to get a real gift...go buy yourself something dear." :eek:

 

Not the same thing. A hostess at a party is probably someone you know. Someone who you would be aware of what they would like. Generally, most people do not give cash gifts to friends saying, "buy what you like as a thank you gift".

 

A room steward is not really someone whose likes/dislikes/preferences you know. The most appropriate thank you gift for them would be cash.

[ducklite]

Imagine hearing from your employer that, because they want a more personal relationship with you, they will give carefully selected gifts instead of a cash bonus. Say a new pair of slippers, or some matching bed linens.

 

Why do you think the cabin stewards and dining room stewards are there: they may be friendly and helpful, but they do not serve you and clean up after you because they like you : they want pay - in dollars - nothing else.

 

I have had customers give me gifts, but never in lieu of my pay. The gifts have always been thoughtful, and often after I've worked with that customer for several years, so they knew exactly what I might really like--which is key! But again, they were never in lieu of my paycheck.

[boogs]

I'm sorry...this may hiss off many but who cares.

 

I can see that cash is the best gift. But as the giver, if I want to give something else I will. It is a GIFT from me (us) to them. If they don't want what I give they can either leave it in the cabin or give it away. Heck, they can throw it overboard for all I care.

 

That just about says it all. You have described perfectly that giving a gift is all about YOU, and not the person you are giving it to. Based on your very clear explanation, you are not being generous by giving them a gift. You are being selfish by making yourself feel important. Two very different objectives.

Edited April 10, 2014 by boogs

[Karysa]

I look at it the same as being invited to a party. I usually bring a gift for the hostess...maybe a bottle of wine. Using the logic of "cash is always the best gift" I should just stick a couple of twenties in a envelope and hand it to the hostess while saying "I was too lazy to get a real gift...go buy yourself something dear." :eek:

 

A bottle of wine is an appropriate hostess gift as long as the recipient isn't an alcoholic. I think that what people are saying is a gift should be appropriate. A large stuffed animal for a ships room steward is an inappropriate gift. If you want to give a gift and cash is a no-no, as you think that it is thoughtless then a gift card from Starbucks or for Walgreens is also a nice gift and far more appropriate then a stuffed animal or a book about your small town hero is. By the way if I am the hostess a gift card to the LCBO ( liquor store) with the giver saying I wasnt sure what wine you prefer would be an appropriate gift.:D

[swsfrail]

A bottle of wine is an appropriate hostess gift as long as the recipient isn't an alcoholic. I think that what people are saying is a gift should be appropriate. A large stuffed animal for a ships room steward is an inappropriate gift. If you want to give a gift and cash is a no-no, as you think that it is thoughtless then a gift card from Starbucks or for Walgreens is also a nice gift and far more appropriate then a stuffed animal or a book about your small town hero is. By the way if I am the hostess a gift card to the LCBO ( liquor store) with the giver saying I wasnt sure what wine you prefer would be an appropriate gift.:D

 

Walgreens gift card "far more appropriate"? For a stateroom attendant? Are you serious? How is that appropriate on cruises in Europe, for instance?

 

Enough with the useless gifts! Give them cash. Then they can buy their own gift card for someplace they would actually shop at if a gift card is important to them.

Edited April 10, 2014 by swsfrail

[Karysa]

Walgreens gift card "far more appropriate"? For a stateroom attendant? Are you serious? How is that appropriate on cruises in Europe, for instance?

 

Enough with the useless gifts! Give them cash. Then they can buy their own gift card for someplace they would actually shop at if a gift card is important to them.

 

Nope won't do it. Bye to you! :D

[tip]

Walgreens gift card "far more appropriate"? For a stateroom attendant? Are you serious? How is that appropriate on cruises in Europe, for instance?

 

Enough with the useless gifts! Give them cash. Then they can buy their own gift card for someplace they would actually shop at if a gift card is important to them.

 

Swsfrail and I have clashed in the past, but she is right on target with this one. Despite the fact that posters have overwhelming tried to tell folks that cash is what the staff not only wants, but can use, why do some folks feel that trinkets, doodads, bric-a-brac, and other useless stuff are wanted? The staff will never tell you that they don't want the junk because they are too polite.

[Karysa]

Swsfrail and I have clashed in the past, but she is right on target with this one. Despite the fact that posters have overwhelming tried to tell folks that cash is what the staff not only wants, but can use, why do some folks feel that trinkets, doodads, bric-a-brac, and other useless stuff are wanted? The staff will never tell you that they don't want the junk because they are too polite.

 

I stated on page one that I only give cash with the exception of wrapping my bills in a small chocolate bar on occasion and handing it to the person who delivers my room service. The poster won't give cash. Personally if I had the choice of a gift card or nothing at all I would take the gift card. That is what this poster was saying. They want to give anything but cash as they feel it is not a personal gift. Cash is best, cash is most appreciated, give cash like I do. But if your decision is between the coffee mug and the Starbucks gift card then go with the gift card.

[donaldsc]

I'm sorry...this may hiss off many but who cares.

 

I can see that cash is the best gift. But as the giver, if I want to give something else I will. It is a GIFT from me (us) to them. If they don't want what I give they can either leave it in the cabin or give it away. Heck, they can throw it overboard for all I care.

 

 

 

...

 

Sorry to disagree w you but it is not a gift from you to them as you claim but it is a gift from you to making you feel good. "Them" does not figure into the equation.

 

DON

[luddite]

Sorry to disagree w you but it is not a gift from you to them as you claim but it is a gift from you to making you feel good. "Them" does not figure into the equation.

 

DON

 

This.

[sail7seas]

Cash is king.

They don't want trinkets and doo dads. We don't know their possible allergies, likes and dislikes and dietary restrictions so unless you have verified with them, food is inappropriate as a gift IMO

 

They don't have extra cabin space for 'stuff' and they wouldn't waste valuable luggage weight restrictions with odds and ends guests leave in place of or in addition to cash.

 

Cash is easy to carry, is the correct size, doesn't violate dietary needs and will provide them with the things they actually want vs. the souvenirs and trinkets some of us may leave behind.

[sail7seas]

A bottle of wine is an appropriate hostess gift as long as the recipient isn't an alcoholic. I think that what people are saying is a gift should be appropriate. A large stuffed animal for a ships room steward is an inappropriate gift. If you want to give a gift and cash is a no-no, as you think that it is thoughtless then a gift card from Starbucks or for Walgreens is also a nice gift and far more appropriate then a stuffed animal or a book about your small town hero is. By the way if I am the hostess a gift card to the LCBO ( liquor store) with the giver saying I wasnt sure what wine you prefer would be an appropriate gift.:D

 

 

Not to be contrary but a gift card from Starbucks is as close to useless as I can think of. I wouldn't use it and I know for sure a huge percentage of ships' crew would have no use for it.

 

Walgreens? Nooooooo. Not on their radar!!

In a stretch, I possibly could see WalMart as the crew who are able/have time off do visit WalMarts to purchase laundry detergent, snacks and whatever. There sometimes is a crew shuttle from ship to WalMart. :)

 

Give 'em CASH.

Easy and oh so welcomed.

 

[ducklite]

A bottle of wine is an appropriate hostess gift as long as the recipient isn't an alcoholic. I think that what people are saying is a gift should be appropriate. A large stuffed animal for a ships room steward is an inappropriate gift. If you want to give a gift and cash is a no-no, as you think that it is thoughtless then a gift card from Starbucks or for Walgreens is also a nice gift and far more appropriate then a stuffed animal or a book about your small town hero is. By the way if I am the hostess a gift card to the LCBO ( liquor store) with the giver saying I wasnt sure what wine you prefer would be an appropriate gift.:D

 

 

Starbucks, no. They might not have access to a Starbucks, might not drink coffee. For crew who regularly sail out of Port Canaveral, WalMart gift cards are useful as the seafarers society runs a shuttle there from the port for crew.

 

By the way, I'd rather have someone bring a bottle of wine than give me a gift card for a wine shop. Any decent wine shop owner or salesperson will be able to make a suggestions of a good wine within your budget, and the receiver can always register it if it's really something they don't care for.

[Karysa]

Not to be contrary but a gift card from Starbucks is as close to useless as I can think of. I wouldn't use it and I know for sure a huge percentage of ships' crew would have no use for it.

 

Walgreens? Nooooooo. Not on their radar!!

In a stretch, I possibly could see WalMart as the crew who are able/have time off do visit WalMarts to purchase laundry detergent, snacks and whatever. There sometimes is a crew shuttle from ship to WalMart. :)

 

Give 'em CASH.

Easy and oh so welcomed.

 

 

Cash is king. I have however bought gift cards from my kids when they were given gift cards to places that I would frequent and hey wouldn't. I also found out I like Indian food because of a gift card DH got. I hadn't eaten Indian in 20 years and now I go twice a month at least . :D. I was thinking that if the dude just wouldn't give cash at least the crew member could buy deodorant and shaving cream with the giftcard and save the $20 bucks that he would have had to spend of his own money. In other words the member that didn't think he was giving cash would have been giving cash.:D

[Katgoesonholiday]

Interesting thread!

 

I think the key point here is the tension between wanting to appear generous without actually putting too much cold hard cash into the endeavor. This is a very normal and human thing - we always wish to be seen as being more generous than we are actually willing/able to be. The problem with cash, in many peoples minds, is that it immediately and unmistakably quantifies exactly how generous you are willing to be - with no ambiguity.

 

I think this is why people often prefer to give a non-monetary gift:

- you generally spend less than you would ideally like to give in cash

- you can easily convince yourself that the thought put into it adds value

 

I come from a culture where tipping is something that only happens when you travel to America. Likewise with gifts for attendants etc. I guess a big part of that is that we have a minimum wage that is pretty generous by American standards ($16 a hour I think) and so there is no social pressure to tip.

 

Speaking as an outsider, I think that there is also an American cultural discomfort with being 'served'. Personally, I find the 'buddy buddy' approach that I have experienced in America to be quite off putting. Without wanting to sound like a snob, I want to be served and then left alone. If I want something else I'll politely let you know. This is not saying that my waitperson is not my social equal. It's just that whilst they are working, they have a role and so do I.

 

I guess what I come to, speaking as an outsider, is that I can see that there is a genuine desire to do something nice for ones cabin attendant without making them feel like they are socially inferior (ie a servant) by paying them. This desire also battles with the desire to appear generous whilst still not spending too much. It's easy to convince oneself that a $5 Tshirt could easily have cost $20 or that they won't recognize a budget brand of chocolate. But if I was a cabin attendant servicing 10 cabins, I'd prefer ten tips of $5 to three tshirts, five bars of chocolate, a key ring, and a cap for a place I'll never visit.

 

The fact of the matter is that they are serving you for the duration of your trip and that's okay! It's their job! And you have a social contract of sorts - they need to do their job well and you need to be courteous and not cause them additional work. If you do then you should obviously recompense them for their trouble in the way that suits them best. They are not your buddy and they won't be remembering you fondly in years to come, no matter how nice that key ring was. They are there to serve you and that's okay because it's their job.

[Karysa]

Interesting thread!

 

I think the key point here is the tension between wanting to appear generous without actually putting too much cold hard cash into the endeavor. This is a very normal and human thing - we always wish to be seen as being more generous than we are actually willing/able to be. The problem with cash, in many peoples minds, is that it immediately and unmistakably quantifies exactly how generous you are willing to be - with no ambiguity.

 

I think this is why people often prefer to give a non-monetary gift:

- you generally spend less than you would ideally like to give in cash

- you can easily convince yourself that the thought put into it adds value

 

I come from a culture where tipping is something that only happens when you travel to America. Likewise with gifts for attendants etc. I guess a big part of that is that we have a minimum wage that is pretty generous by American standards ($16 a hour I think) and so there is no social pressure to tip.

 

Speaking as an outsider, I think that there is also an American cultural discomfort with being 'served'. Personally, I find the 'buddy buddy' approach that I have experienced in America to be quite off putting. Without wanting to sound like a snob, I want to be served and then left alone. If I want something else I'll politely let you know. This is not saying that my waitperson is not my social equal. It's just that whilst they are working, they have a role and so do I.

 

I guess what I come to, speaking as an outsider, is that I can see that there is a genuine desire to do something nice for ones cabin attendant without making them feel like they are socially inferior (ie a servant) by paying them. This desire also battles with the desire to appear generous whilst still not spending too much. It's easy to convince oneself that a $5 Tshirt could easily have cost $20 or that they won't recognize a budget brand of chocolate. But if I was a cabin attendant servicing 10 cabins, I'd prefer ten tips of $5 to three tshirts, five bars of chocolate, a key ring, and a cap for a place I'll never visit.

 

The fact of the matter is that they are serving you for the duration of your trip and that's okay! It's their job! And you have a social contract of sorts - they need to do their job well and you need to be courteous and not cause them additional work. If you do then you should obviously recompense them for their trouble in the way that suits them best. They are not your buddy and they won't be remembering you fondly in years to come, no matter how nice that key ring was. They are there to serve you and that's okay because it's their job.

 

Sorry are you saying that the minimum wage in NewZealand is equivalent to $16 US per hour? How much would a burger and fries be then?

[Katgoesonholiday]

Sorry are you saying that the minimum wage in NewZealand is equivalent to $16 US per hour? How much would a burger and fries be then?

 

Minimum wage in NZ is equivalent to US$12.31 per hour. Then there are things like time and a half on public holidays, sick leave and annual leave which all add to the bottom dollar.

 

Interestingly many consumer goods tend to be cheaper in America than NZ - where so much has to be shipped in. We do have lots of cows for beef though! :D A cheeseburger, fries and coke at McDonalds costs $5 here.

[iheartbda]

I wish the OP would come back and tell where she read that giving gifts is common and welcome.:confused:

[Katgoesonholiday]

We chose a non-American cruise line for our first cruise because we find this whole topic baffling and foreign. MSC states no tips for its European cruises and I am worried that I would inadvertently give offense out of ignorance whilst on an American line where tipping (and gifts?) is common. Having not grown up with it, it's something that requires conscious thought and calculation and that's just not relaxing!

 

Personally, I'd prefer to be planning my shore excursions rather than special gifts for cabin attendants! :P

Edited April 11, 2014 by Katgoesonholiday

[Elaine5715]

Interesting thread!

 

I think the key point here is the tension between wanting to appear generous without actually putting too much cold hard cash into the endeavor. This is a very normal and human thing - we always wish to be seen as being more generous than we are actually willing/able to be. The problem with cash, in many peoples minds, is that it immediately and unmistakably quantifies exactly how generous you are willing to be - with no ambiguity.

 

I think this is why people often prefer to give a non-monetary gift:

- you generally spend less than you would ideally like to give in cash

- you can easily convince yourself that the thought put into it adds value

 

I come from a culture where tipping is something that only happens when you travel to America. Likewise with gifts for attendants etc. I guess a big part of that is that we have a minimum wage that is pretty generous by American standards ($16 a hour I think) and so there is no social pressure to tip.

 

Speaking as an outsider, I think that there is also an American cultural discomfort with being 'served'. Personally, I find the 'buddy buddy' approach that I have experienced in America to be quite off putting. Without wanting to sound like a snob, I want to be served and then left alone. If I want something else I'll politely let you know. This is not saying that my waitperson is not my social equal. It's just that whilst they are working, they have a role and so do I.

 

I guess what I come to, speaking as an outsider, is that I can see that there is a genuine desire to do something nice for ones cabin attendant without making them feel like they are socially inferior (ie a servant) by paying them. This desire also battles with the desire to appear generous whilst still not spending too much. It's easy to convince oneself that a $5 Tshirt could easily have cost $20 or that they won't recognize a budget brand of chocolate. But if I was a cabin attendant servicing 10 cabins, I'd prefer ten tips of $5 to three tshirts, five bars of chocolate, a key ring, and a cap for a place I'll never visit.

 

The fact of the matter is that they are serving you for the duration of your trip and that's okay! It's their job! And you have a social contract of sorts - they need to do their job well and you need to be courteous and not cause them additional work. If you do then you should obviously recompense them for their trouble in the way that suits them best. They are not your buddy and they won't be remembering you fondly in years to come, no matter how nice that key ring was. They are there to serve you and that's okay because it's their job.

 

Well said..

[LandlockedCruiser01]

We chose a non-American cruise line for our first cruise because we find this whole topic baffling and foreign. MSC states no tips for its European cruises and I am worried that I would inadvertently give offense out of ignorance whilst on an American line where tipping (and gifts?) is common. Having not grown up with it, it's something that requires conscious thought and calculation and that's just not relaxing!

 

Personally, I'd prefer to be planning my shore excursions rather than special gifts for cabin attendants! :P

On almost all American cruise lines, you can pre-pay your tips at the time of booking, rather than hand them directly in cash. This way, all you'll need to give at the end is a "thank you" and a handshake. I've even seen people exchange hugs with their waiters and stewards, but I think that's too much; plus, I'm a guy, which would only raise the awkwardness factor if I tried that. I reserve hugs and gifts for fellow passengers I become friends with. I have a businesslike outlook like yours: it's the crew's job to provide good service, and my job to treat them with dignity (which includes tipping them fairly).

[Karysa]

We chose a non-American cruise line for our first cruise because we find this whole topic baffling and foreign. MSC states no tips for its European cruises and I am worried that I would inadvertently give offense out of ignorance whilst on an American line where tipping (and gifts?) is common. Having not grown up with it, it's something that requires conscious thought and calculation and that's just not relaxing!

 

Personally, I'd prefer to be planning my shore excursions rather than special gifts for cabin attendants! :P

 

You really only need to tip extra for room service and excursions. Extra tips above the service charge are above and beyond so any extra cash would be appreciated but is not expected.

[Karysa]

Minimum wage in NZ is equivalent to US$12.31 per hour. Then there are things like time and a half on public holidays, sick leave and annual leave which all add to the bottom dollar.

 

Interestingly many consumer goods tend to be cheaper in America than NZ - where so much has to be shipped in. We do have lots of cows for beef though! :D A cheeseburger, fries and coke at McDonalds costs $5 here.

 

That's a bargain! :D

[Cruisin' Chick]

Not the same thing. A hostess at a party is probably someone you know. Someone who you would be aware of what they would like. Generally, most people do not give cash gifts to friends saying, "buy what you like as a thank you gift".

 

A room steward is not really someone whose likes/dislikes/preferences you know. The most appropriate thank you gift for them would be cash.

 

I so agree. If it's someone who I know pretty well throwing a party, hopefully I'll know if they're allergic to flowers (which you can't regift), or not a drinker (usually if it's a decent wine, you can regift), or maybe bring a dessert (which if the host/hostess is on a diet, most likely others at the party can eat).

 

But I won't know if the cabin steward is allergic to chocolate (or nuts -- which can be in traces in some none-nut candy), or has certain dietary practices. My last three cruises were during Christmas, but I wouldn't assume my steward celebrates that holiday so our extra tip (on top of the autograts which always stay on) won't go in a festive Christmas card, but in the standard tipping envelope.

 

I'm so reminded of when I worked at my second advertising agency. Each year the head office in NY will do some bartering with one or two clients to donate gifts for the agency employees. And sure enough, after getting our annual gifts, someone would be quick to call stores to find out who will take them back. One year, a camera client had a leftover supply of not-so-fantastic cameras stamped with the Olympic logo (it was an Olympic year and they were an official sponsor) so that's what we got. As soon as someone found a place to return them, employees were disappearing for a long lunch to stand in line to return them. Another time was some keychain that amazingly was worth quite a bit of money. The money was more valuable to us. But we felt there was a ticking clock just in case a local store wasn't willing to take some 200 items.

[Karysa]

I wish the OP would come back and tell where she read that giving gifts is common and welcome.:confused:

 

Why?