Reassure this worry wart please! Re: safety on ship

[mumtopugs]

Cruising is no more dangerous than going to a theme park, or your local mall. If you have taught your son how to act when alone or with strangers, you will be fine. He can certainly go to the restroom by himself (has he gone to sporting events?), and to the lido. Most of what you are reading are incidents that are lumped together on websites that have agendas to make cruising look bad, but you must remember that 22 million people cruised last year.

 

Yes. This.

[prophet0621]

My cruise rules do reflect my rules at home, so we're good. :) My 10- and 13-year-old kids roam the neighborhood, usually with a pack of friends but they also play "neighborhood tag," which involves hiding from your friends. We know many of our neighbors, but certainly not all of them. Sometimes the 13-year-old walks to the store, where there are even more strangers, none of whom have to pay hundreds of dollars to be near my kids. :eek: I believe that it's a good idea to slowly prepare them for living independent lives, where they'll have to make good decisions without me. Not being overprotective can be one of the hardest jobs a parent has.

 

Absolutely agree. I, and many of us on here, ran around our neighborhood as kids, things aren't any different now, it's not more dangerous today. Crime is not higher, we simply hear about it more and panic. We learned to be independent and kids today are missing out.

 

My daughter is 10 and will be going on a cruise with us in June. She will be permitted to sign herself out of Camp Carnival but since I doubt many other kids will be able, I expect her to mostly stay there with friends I hope she makes. I watched other kids on past cruises participate in a scavenger hunt, small groups were trying to locate things on the ship. I thought this was great and I'm excited for her to have this opportunity. I can't shelter her forever and I'm not doing her any favors by trying to.

[KatieCharlotte]

Absolutely agree. I, and many of us on here, ran around our neighborhood as kids, things aren't any different now, it's not more dangerous today. Crime is not higher, we simply hear about it more and panic. We learned to be independent and kids today are missing out.

 

My daughter is 10 and will be going on a cruise with us in June. She will be permitted to sign herself out of Camp Carnival but since I doubt many other kids will be able, I expect her to mostly stay there with friends I hope she makes. I watched other kids on past cruises participate in a scavenger hunt, small groups were trying to locate things on the ship. I thought this was great and I'm excited for her to have this opportunity. I can't shelter her forever and I'm not doing her any favors by trying to.

 

The scavenger hunt was how my shy 9 year-old daughter made friends and gained confidence on our last cruise. I was very glad I gave her permission to sign herself out. When her group lost the scavenger hunt to the boys, the prize they missed out on was ice cream, so her group signed themselves out and got ice cream.

 

My 13-year-old son saw this thread and wanted to tell everyone that kids his age should be given independence. He was going to create his own account, but he needed to start his homework. :D

[sjn911]

The scavenger hunt was how my shy 9 year-old daughter made friends and gained confidence on our last cruise. I was very glad I gave her permission to sign herself out. When her group lost the scavenger hunt to the boys, the prize they missed out on was ice cream, so her group signed themselves out and got ice cream.

 

My 13-year-old son saw this thread and wanted to tell everyone that kids his age should be given independence. He was going to create his own account, but he needed to start his homework. :D

 

Love it...thinking of years ago when now 52 year old sis was playing with the boy that was a friend across the alley...Mom, "Trey and I are going to get married after we take our naps."

 

It depends on where you live...how populated and how close we are town to town , how big the towns are....our area changes overnight in high ski and vacation season and high park travel seasons. Hangouts....city or country...change...and it was safer 30 years ago to have our "keggars"...or as mom called them..lol.."beer busts"...the police and all watched and knew us and we were legal as senioirs..most of us...then. Now..it is not ok period..and drug people always coming through where least expect it...Even in same small ski town where my high school was.

 

I say ships are a bit safer....just a bit and with good parental proper rules what a great way to check in....talk....grow and change the rules as they grow...and create people who enjoy making friends...and making good judgements...it is a great place for growing good and fun social skills too.

 

My nephew just widened his world at 20..thank God still to some adults around..they had tons of freedom..moped time even..but it was so cool..thank these men forever, NYC level and Caribbean level is big..on a big NCL ship...Sarah

Edited March 30, 2015 by sjn911

[Cruise life]

Our children have grown up cruising, but I still worry about them, especially as they will be the youngest to sign themselves in and out on their next cruise. ITA I need to give them the chance to prove they are responsible, but at the same time I am more than ready to revoke the privilege of self sign-out. Our cruise is days away, but we have been discussing the rules for weeks now.

[jsglow]

Perhaps you and she would like to review crimes at sea. They are never listed in the cruise brochures. They DON'T want you to know about it.

 

Okay, I'll bite just once. I think I agree that I wouldn't allow a 6 or 7 year old to wander the ship. Another poster has indicated that he'd allow his 9 yo to sign out of Camp Carnival. The child in question is 13 and it would seem that you think they should be escorted essentially at all times. Assuming I'm correct in your view on the matter, would you allow a 15 year old to come and go? Would you allow a 16 yo to get a driver's license and take the family car? How about the college drop off thing?

 

I'm really not trying to argue or offer too much of a viewpoint. I'm simply interested in your perspective.

[nessz79]

My kids will be 13 and 11 on their next cruise and I plan on them having more independence as well. The 13 year old will be able to go off with friends as long as he meets back with us at certain times, eats with us, and is back by a set curfew (which will probably be before 10 to start out). He's pretty shy so we may not even have to worry.

We will also be leaving them in the cabin in the evening at least once while we eat at the steak house. The 11 year old is not as mature, so we'll have to watch him more closely.

 

I agree that it's hard not to be overprotective. Every time I give them some independence all I do is worry...but I think it's important for them to become independent and self-sufficient as they get older and they won't if I don't give them practice opportunities.

[jsglow]

The scavenger hunt was how my shy 9 year-old daughter made friends and gained confidence on our last cruise. I was very glad I gave her permission to sign herself out. When her group lost the scavenger hunt to the boys, the prize they missed out on was ice cream, so her group signed themselves out and got ice cream.

 

My 13-year-old son saw this thread and wanted to tell everyone that kids his age should be given independence. He was going to create his own account, but he needed to start his homework. :D

 

Haha. Tell your little crapper (just teasing) that privileges are EARNED as he shows good judgement on a day by day basis. Obviously he's quickly closing in on the 'I know better than mom' era. You do understand that you're just on the cusp of the 'hard years'. Good luck! It's gets bumpy from here.

[sjn911]

Our children have grown up cruising, but I still worry about them, especially as they will be the youngest to sign themselves in and out on their next cruise. ITA I need to give them the chance to prove they are responsible, but at the same time I am more than ready to revoke the privilege of self sign-out. Our cruise is days away, but we have been discussing the rules for weeks now.

 

Yeah... this is it...it takes real love and working it out and practice. It is not simple..not a mom but an auntie...so proud of the right balance my siblings have used with nieces and nephews and their essential; wisdom and love...

 

Kids...even 20...they are as old and as young as that,,,they have pushed and done good and bad in high school...the least problem ones are the ones with boundaries that they have to butt against along the way that have been discussed with a family that has lots of fun together too..and felt their mistakes they have been allowed to make along the way with some sort of safety net...eventually...

 

Most kids don't have the real hard outside work growing up...huge difference in nephews that had it and those that did not in my group...those that learned along with animals and all of it..one saved his sister in a blizzard with a serious post tonsil bleed complication..his cousin at same age would not have succeeded...so with out this side by side survival work we have lost really..the family together work and play together is soooo good....Sarah

[tweetypie_67]

I honestly think it depends on the child. Is he/she responsible? Do they obey the rules or like to break them? If he or she is responsible and usually respects the rules at home then I say yes, they r safe to go to and from a certain place. I was very lucky that my kids r only 2 years apart so they usually hung out together.

[Alliwanttodoiscruise]

Why do I always feel like I have to defend everything I post on these boards?:( It wasn't a matter of letting my daughters wander around the ship (as you put it), but if they needed to run to the cabin for something I didn't feel like I had to escort them every single minute on the ship, or if they wanted to go up to the Lido deck to grab an ice cream, they were okay to do that.

 

I would never let my 13 year old roam free either. I was just planning to let him go on short excursions like you to the lido to get something and right back to the cabin. I like to know where my kids are at all times. Some call me overprotective but I want to protect them as long as I can. It's also my trip and I wouldn't be able to relax if I didn't know exactly where he was and that he was safe.

[notentirelynormal]

Why do I always feel like I have to defend everything I post on these boards?:( It wasn't a matter of letting my daughters wander around the ship (as you put it), but if they needed to run to the cabin for something I didn't feel like I had to escort them every single minute on the ship, or if they wanted to go up to the Lido deck to grab an ice cream, they were okay to do that.

 

You shouldn't and don't let the poster get to you. PP's children are over protected and your children will be more balanced as an adult. I believe in "trust but verify". I have no problem with telling my kids they can go up on deck, get a coke and lie by the pool. You will then seeing me lurking nearby to see if that is what said child is doing.

 

I guess it is all about how you raise your child. I just spent 3 days with my cousin's family. His daughters were 8 and 10. In those 3 days at Disneyland - they spoke less than 10 words. My shy 2 YO granddaughter spoke more. I couldn't even get them to say please and thank you. Everything was a shrug. Those kids are going to have lots of issues. I'm sure he would not let them wonder either. Of course, if they got lost they are not capable of asking for help. I then looked at my 7 YO autistic grandchild and thought - WOW. She is more socially advanced.

Edited March 30, 2015 by notentirelynormal

[dsrdsrdsr]

Since the ship is a city, your rules should reflect the same rules you have at home.

 

Ships are a small city, with neighbors of all kinds, good and bad. However, many parents let their guard down thinking 4000 new neighbors are all good.

 

The ship is quite a lot safer than a city. The most obvious and horrifying danger in a city, remote though it may be, is that a random stranger is going to swoop your child up in his car and take him or her away to a private, isolated spot.

 

That danger does not exist on a ship. There are no cars and there are no private isolated spots. There may or may not be child molesters who prefer to take a child to a cabin visited by the steward minimum twice a day, with thin walls and several hundred people in earshot, and with no way to run from pursuers. But if there are, they get caught at their first offence.

 

Other non-existent dangers - the child won't be run over; won't get irretrievably lost; won't be stranded and unable to find anyone 'nice' to ask; won't be mugged for cash or mobile phone; won't get held hostage in a bank robbery. It's a paradise on earth (or water), really! :)

[MNCruizer1]

We are going on our first cruise and my 12yr old will be with us. I was leaning towards letting him do his own thing..now I'm not so sure. I think I will keep him with us at least the first day and go from there. Really hoping he meets some other kids his age..I would be totally fine with him running around with other kids.

[MrsPete]

The ship is a safe place IF you use common caution. Do not automatically trust other teens; a few bad apples can push a group to do wrong (and I know that one of my teens is a follower who will go along with the group rather than appear cowardly). I was also shocked when I saw invitations to parties including sexual activity on the ship message board (Who's in my mouth? parties -- yeah, I looked it up, and it's exactly what it sounds like).

 

Right: Lay down age-appropriate rules for your children, discuss WHY these are important, and enforce them.

Wrong: Become paranoid and waste away your vacation in fear.

 

Rules we've given our teens:

- No one is to be in our cabin, nor are you to set foot in anyone else's cabin. No exceptions.

- You are never to enter areas not intended for guests. No exceptions.

- After dinner /after dark, you must either be with us, in our cabins, or in a supervised activity. We will pick you up from a supervised activity at the time you pick.

- Our family curfew is ____ (it's changed as the girls have grown older). If a supervised activity happens after this time, we will discuss it.

- Under no circumstances are you to go about the ship after dark in a group of teens.

- We will leave /return to the ship as a family.

- You are to accept drinks only from a staff member or a family member. If you take your eyes off your drink even for a moment, do not drink from it again.

- You are not to accept alcohol from anyone at any time.

- You're free to plan to meet friends for breakfast or lunch, but let us know so we won't wait for you. We will eat dinner together as a family each evening.

- You are to be polite and helpful to all other passengers at all times, especiall the elderly and those with small children -- this means in the buffet line, in the elevators, and in all common areas.

 

We've never had a minute's trouble with our kids misbehaving onboard.

[cb at sea]

I would NEVER let my 13 year old "roam". I would allow them to come and go from SPECIFIC activities and they would need to physically check in with me periodically. And, yes...you should have taught your child how to act while alone...how to determine "safe" strangers....stuff like that! Part of growing up is learning how to navigate in this world.

 

Roaming is trouble. Letting him do things on his own is fine.

[MrsPete]

Okay, I'll bite just once. I think I agree that I wouldn't allow a 6 or 7 year old to wander the ship. Another poster has indicated that he'd allow his 9 yo to sign out of Camp Carnival. The child in question is 13 and it would seem that you think they should be escorted essentially at all times. Assuming I'm correct in your view on the matter, would you allow a 15 year old to come and go? Would you allow a 16 yo to get a driver's license and take the family car? How about the college drop off thing?

 

I'm really not trying to argue or offer too much of a viewpoint. I'm simply interested in your perspective.

When I allowed my teens to attend high school events with friends (i.e., football games, dances), they had a safety net in the form of teachers whom they knew /who knew them. They had phones with which they could call me if they found themselves into trouble, and they were with long-time friends, so they had some idea of who is reliable and who's charming at first glance ... but untrustworthy underneath. Similarly, when I let them take the car, my rules were considerably more strict than those laid down by the state.

[MrsPete]

I would NEVER let my 13 year old "roam". I would allow them to come and go from SPECIFIC activities and they would need to physically check in with me periodically. And, yes...you should have taught your child how to act while alone...how to determine "safe" strangers....stuff like that! Part of growing up is learning how to navigate in this world.

 

Roaming is trouble. Letting him do things on his own is fine.

I agree. At 13 I'd allow -- during daylight hours -- a teen to pick what he wants to do, but he'd need to tell me where he was bound ... and he'd be responsible for checking in with me at X:00.

 

But "roaming" implies go anywhere you please, all day long. That's a bit too much freedom for a 13 year old.

[BullDawg91]

I think by not giving your child some freedom at 13, you are saying to him that he is not capable of making a safe decision. I think his is a perfect opportunity to let him try his wings.

[GUT2407]

He is less likely to come to harm on a ship than at home, can something happen unfortunately YES, is it likely to fortunately NO.

[pseudoware]

When going forward to aft or vice versa, we've instructed our kids to always do so through the ship's public areas, and never down the long corridors on cabin-only decks. Just a safety precaution that helps us feel more comfortable.

[Lerin]

Statistically your son is more likely to be injured on the drive to the port than on the cruise ship. I know, statistics rarely allay emotional fears. But drive safe, and you'll all be fine.

 

Statistically her son is more likely to be harmed by her or another family member than by anything else.

 

OP, you need to calm down and quit Googling garbage.

Do not escort your teenager to the bathroom. That will not keep him safe, it will only harm his self esteem.

[spookwife]

I have been reading horror stories about assaults on cruises...usually by crew members. My son is 13 and would like a bit of independence on our upcoming cruise. I'm not planning on letting him wander the ship alone but if he is hungry can he go up to lido and get food by himself for example? Or if we are at the pool can he go to the bathroom alone. I know it sounds ridiculous! However so are the stories if you look for them ( which I wish I had not looked for).

 

whatever you are comfortable with him doing at Disney or any Zoo, you can safely let him do on a cruise ship. more even as the ship is self contained and they won't let him off without an adult present.

[LA_CA_GAL]

Cruise ships are not like cities. Very few kids get run over by cars or trains, shot, kidnapped, etc.

 

Children need to be taught how to be independent at some time, and part of that is teaching them awareness. On a cruise ship, staying in a public area is quite safe. They should know if they have a problem or a concern, there are always some "authority figures" that they can approach, whether it be a bartender, officer, etc that will be able to assist them in a time of need.

 

I work in security for a very large sports complex (events with over 150,00 patrons), and we deal with lost kids (and adults) all the time. It would be so easy if these lost kids would just walk up to one of our many uniformed security officers (with radio contacts) and tell us the situation.

[GottaKnowWhen]

I agree. At 13 I'd allow -- during daylight hours -- a teen to pick what he wants to do, but he'd need to tell me where he was bound ... and he'd be responsible for checking in with me at X:00.

 

But "roaming" implies go anywhere you please, all day long. That's a bit too much freedom for a 13 year old.

 

When I was 13 we were in Asuncion Paraguay, had lived there for 3 years at that point. I roamed the city pretty much on my own. Though more often with a buddy, with a girlfriend (i.e., taking a bus downtown to the movies on a Saturday afternoon) or with my older brother. The rules were: 1. Tell us where you are going; 2. Don't get into too much trouble; 3. Get back home before dinnertime. I survived.