.......idle jottings continued

[ho-hum]

Jost van Dyke !

Check out the webcam at the Soggy Dollar bar.

[ho-hum]

'Tis a Merry Christmas and even a happier New Year come 20th Jan. Pink gins all round!

 

Mr Putin is probably waiting for Russia to be blamed for the murder of the Russian Ambassador to Turkey.

 

Mr Hum certainly likes to seek safe sanctuary in such times... on SeaDream, relaxing and chewing the fat with a bunch of good ol' beer swilling, baseball cap wearing boys. Just don't mention the name H***** C******

 

 

Hum likes the phrase "seeking sanctuary" ......thanks MACT.

But Hum's most oft used term is to "draw a tactical retreat".....a much used term whenever there is the sign of a contre temps or even mild dis-agreement or potentially unpleasant situation.

You would call it "life".

 

And if it really has "got out of hand" then Hum pleads "please not the face" between calls for help from Blondie !

 

Hum also has taken a liking to the phrase "it is not as simple that" and adopts it in all kinds of scenarios where Hum is clueless (so all situations then) or completely dis-interested (mostly everything these days).

It immediately raises Hum's persona to the level of scholarly and informed when the reality is Hum knows very little about anything, especially anything of the modicum of importance.

 

Say anything with gusto and braveur and people will believe anything: witness present day America !

 

Oh get over it !

You know Hum's right.

He ain't the new Messiah.

 

Hum has noticed "attention spans" from the current SD clientele around the TOYB are quite short and everything said (mostly grunted actually) is pre-loaded with either mildly hostile and derisory invective or is more in the style of slogans designed to "rally" the beer sozzled, good 'old boys into a temporary sense of unity and solidarity, in a kind of "remember the Alamo" utterance signifying absolutely nothing except perhaps "you lost" ! Bigly.

All that's missing around the bar are 3 huge TV's playing American sports between adverts for frothy, cold, p water.

Also missing would be other equipment, paraphernalia and waitresses from the kind of establishments which some of our more notable and esteemed posters patronise on a regular basis during a period denoted as "Happy Hour".

 

Sorry chums.

Hum is being "snooty" and making fun of decent regular guys.

Hum feels shame.

There is of course nothing wrong with these guys.

It's Hum gettin' all grand and mighty and full of himself.

 

There really is a nice crowd onboard.

A couple of incidents to excite and titillate but heck you guys don't want to hear about "tittle tattle" and smut.

Again forgive Hum for even mentioning it.

Off to the beach (JVD) on a glorious, glorious day.

A beautiful large sail boat (Royal Clipper) just moored up right next to us.

 

[ho-hum]

You must have been a good friend of hers, Commander, to be on a first Zsa basis.

 

She refers to The Commander as "the one that got away".

Edited December 21, 2016 by ho-hum

[Jim Avery]

Where are your new buddies from Mr. Hum? In certain circles, a good old ROLL TIDE might get you in the door. But then, if it is the wrong circles, well years ago a Roll Tider named Jimbo might have besmirched their sister so a Roll Tide might prompt a lynchin. In any effect, you will have a whole bunch of new buddies in a few days. I can guarantee they will be better........or worse than your current bunch.

[ho-hum]

Where are your new buddies from Mr. Hum? In certain circles, a good old ROLL TIDE might get you in the door. But then, if it is the wrong circles, well years ago a Roll Tider named Jimbo might have besmirched their sister so a Roll Tide might prompt a lynchin. In any effect, you will have a whole bunch of new buddies in a few days. I can guarantee they will be better........or worse than your current bunch.

 

Where are your new buddies from Mr. Hum? In certain circles, a good old ROLL TIDE might get you in the door. But then, if it is the wrong circles, well years ago a Roll Tider named Jimbo might have besmirched their sister so a Roll Tide might prompt a lynchin. In any effect, you will have a whole bunch of new buddies in a few days. I can guarantee they will be better........or worse than your current bunch.

 

Atlanta..........most hail from.

Falcons, Braves, Mercedes Benz stadium !!

Hum failed at all conversations.

Hum did talk about what happens after proclaiming "Roll Tide" !

They became very suspicious after that !!

Hum "made a tactical retreat".

 

One very unusual character owns a boat and takes people out on Lake Erie. Up to 7 people for $650 a day. Sounds reasonable but 2 minutes with this monosyllabic cretin dressed in camouflage shorts, old trainers, a grey t-shirt displaying a fish, a dirty mullet, handle bar, droopy moustache and who carries a stainless steel jug with him at all times into which are poured black coffee and or cold beer by the gallon !

He utters lots of technical information about every vessel that passes by whether you want to hear about it or not whilst Blondie and Hum are trying to have a romantic meal and he just stands there blocking the view with his bony arske.

He makes those ghastly dudes from "Duck Dynasty" seem like Oscar Wilde and chums.

He tells you what he is about to do, delivered more as an aide memoire to himself. As in "I think I'll go over to the beach and check out 'dem boats". His suggestion at an imminent departure is greeted with much encouragement from Hum and Blondie. "Oh you should". He turns to go and says something quite unintelligible to which Blondie utters some kind of sympathetic noise like "Aarggh" and Hum nervously laughs. He looks at us strangely but he is off. Thank the Lord.

Oh Hum, you cad.

He is being nice.

Hum is not embracing all his fellow man at the moment.

You Grinch Hum.

Shame on you.

 

Wish you were here mate.

 

PS Hope the guy doesn't read this

Edited December 21, 2016 by ho-hum

[TrapperZimmy]

She refers to The Commander as "the one that got away".

 

Apparently there weren't many who got away. At a different time she might have been a Mrs. Trump, at least for a week or so.

[Jim Avery]

Possibly boat tours on Lake Lanier (Lake outside of Atlanta)? Northern rednecks (Lake Erie is Ohio area) generally appear a bit different from our Southern variety. Just think of it as furthering your education Mr. Hum.......Diversity, so to speak......

[TrapperZimmy]

One very unusual character owns a boat and takes people out on Lake Erie. Up to 7 people for $650 a day. Sounds reasonable but 2 minutes with this monosyllabic cretin dressed in camouflage shorts, old trainers, a grey t-shirt displaying a fish, a dirty mullet, handle bar, droopy moustache and who carries a stainless steel jug with him at all times into which are poured black coffee and or cold beer by the gallon !

He utters lots of technical information about every vessel that passes by whether you want to hear about it or not whilst Blondie and Hum are trying to have a romantic meal and he just stands there blocking the view with his bony arske.

He makes those ghastly dudes from "Duck Dynasty" seem like Oscar Wilde and chums.

He tells you what he is about to do, delivered more as an aide memoire to himself. As in "I think I'll go over to the beach and check out 'dem boats". His suggestion at an imminent departure is greeted with much encouragement from Hum and Blondie. "Oh you should". He turns to go and says something quite unintelligible to which Blondie utters some kind of sympathetic noise like "Aarggh" and Hum nervously laughs. He looks at us strangely but he is off. Thank the Lord.

Oh Hum, you cad.

He is being nice.

Hum is not embracing all his fellow man at the moment.

You Grinch Hum.

Shame on you.

 

Sounds as if you have met the Bizarro version of Ho-Hum. A shiny new dime to the first who gets the reference.

[Tiki_Man]

Hum - here are a couple of "local" items to toss at the Atlanta folks. Ask them if they have been to "Johnny's Hideaway"? If they have ever eaten at "Bacchanalia"? Ask if they live ITP or OTP.

 

If they are truly from Atlanta they will reply yes to 1 and 2 and say of course they live ITP in Buckhead. If not, then they are not truly from Atlanta and live "outside the perimeter" (OTP).

 

Atlanta at one time was a town of just over 1 million in the early 70's and easy to get around. Now we have over 7 million and most are transplants from up north.

 

If you really want to get under their skin just say GO JACKETS instead of Roll Tide.

 

The webcam at Soggy Dollar looks like fantastic weather today. Enjoy.

 

Mark

[Jim Avery]

And lunch at The Varsity.:D

[Tiki_Man]

And lunch at The Varsity.:D

 

Jim, I believe the Varsity might be setting the standards to high for Hum. Chili dog, onion rings, fried pie and F.O. might entice him to move permanently to Hot'lanta haha.

 

Crimson Tide folks aplenty in Atlanta next week. Best of luck to Bama in the Peach Bowl. Fun Fact for the day is that the lovely Mrs Tiki was a Peach Bowl Queen contestant in 1985. She did not win the crown but in my eyes was the best looking (and smartest).

 

73 days until we step about SD in beautiful St. Thomas (wink wink) but who's counting.

 

Tiki

[COCOYOTE]

Your country is falling apart at the seams since you left. Potential BA strike this weekend (12/25-26) by cabin crews; potential rail strike (Southern Rail); post office strike and Virgin Atlantic pilots might go out. And now the Queen didn't leave for Sandringham because she has a "heavy" cold.

 

Ye gods, man. You must get back and use your talents to get things back in order. Sacrifice New Year's Eve in St. Barths. Use your great persuasive skills of communication and detente and bring the sides together.

 

But then again, miss NYE in St. Barths? What was I thinking - strikes will still be there when you return.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, dear Hum, and to all those who read and enjoy these pages.

[ho-hum]

Possibly boat tours on Lake Lanier (Lake outside of Atlanta)? Northern rednecks (Lake Erie is Ohio area) generally appear a bit different from our Southern variety. Just think of it as furthering your education Mr. Hum.......Diversity, so to speak......

 

They are not ALL from Atlantis Jim.

 

Look chums, he is a nice guy and Hum is being a snob.

Hum chatted with him again today.

He is from the north.

He says the place is weird.

An Indian territory.

He catches pike, something yellow (which he likes) and then the Captain walked in and they started talking about ship stuff.

Hum seems to remember him saying it is an hour from Pittsburg.

[ho-hum]

Your country is falling apart at the seams since you left. Potential BA strike this weekend (12/25-26) by cabin crews; potential rail strike (Southern Rail); post office strike and Virgin Atlantic pilots might go out. And now the Queen didn't leave for Sandringham because she has a "heavy" cold.

 

Ye gods, man. You must get back and use your talents to get things back in order. Sacrifice New Year's Eve in St. Barths. Use your great persuasive skills of communication and detente and bring the sides together.

 

But then again, miss NYE in St. Barths? What was I thinking - strikes will still be there when you return.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, dear Hum, and to all those who read and enjoy these pages.

 

COCOYOTE is your concern genuine (or are you enjoying somewhat the admittedly, little mess, the Brits are in ? You overlooked the bigger mess of "Brexit" and that odious little leader of Scotland demanding independence: these old chum are far bigger concerns, with all respect, nevertheless Hum is impressed, news of our erstwhile working class is known in the "outback" of your colony.

 

Hum has just emailed our PM with the advice to shoot all the railway unionists (humanely of course, it will give our gallant soldiers some much needed target practice) and the first born of railway unionists should be sent to a gulag to re-educate them to treat their "betters".......err better.

The BA staff should all be sacked and conscripted to replace the shot railway unionists.

Hum has a very good chum who is a Virgin pilot so Hum would say, pay them double and let them have weekends off !

Richard Branson (another chum but he should keep his "nose" out of Brexit) should take over BA sacking all "old contract" employees who are mostly useless (Hum had to wait over 5 minutes for a glass of vintage champagne on his flight over the pond and scones at tea were minute: Hum had to have FOUR !).

 

If the Queen has a "heavy cold" then ordinary mortals (US citizens and the like) would cause the country to "grind to a halt".

She is a "brick".

She just passed 90 and is still working though she hopes to pass on the "crown" before Trump pays a state visit ! No offence to Trump fans.

 

No TrapperZ, your concern should be directed, not on the UK but over the Channel to that once efficient country "GCMV land" (Germany).

They are the sole problem with Europe (the French mostly have done what they were told by Angela but there is a huge right wing revolt, so watch out for some mighty changes).

No the sauerkraut, sausage eaters are entering a phase of "hopeless at mostly everything".

It just aint the Germans we know and used to respect for so many decades.

 

They have goofed up on:

- immigration, bigly

- prevention of terrorism, bigly, bigly

- they lost the guy that ran the truck into the crowd (were they trained by the Keystone Cops ?). Come on, just how is that frigging possible. British girl guides would have done a better job.

- their cars are more polluting than a Chinese coal fired power station in Outer Mongolia (Mercedes now join the growing list of car emissions being fiddled too: what a bunch of cheats !)

- their biggest bank (Deutsche Bank) has been in imminent chance of collapsing and bringing down every other European bank with them because they couldn't run a sweet shop

- the golden boy of German sports in the 1970's (affectionately and respectfully called cheekily "The Kaiser" by English football fans); Franz Beckenbaeuer) has been found on the "fiddle" for years. A corrupt German ! Mein Gott ! We expect that of the Italians not the Krauts: a Frenchman was also involved but the biggest fraud was Swiss (German Swiss).

 

Germany is over.

France will soon be in "melt down".

Russia has reverted to back to the gangsters.

China has a growing middle class which will demand more from their wobbly leaders (who felt rebuked by Mr.T's phone chat to a very surprised Taiwanese lady PM to whom he was actually non-offensive !).

No, look to Britain.

We have some huge problems facing us but we will sort them out.

But gone our days on the "world stage".

It is each country for its own now though Russian imperialism is a huge concern.

The only method to deal with Russia are embargoes, restricting travel and showing Putin on "Saturday Night Live" for the thug and narcissist he is (funny thing is, the funds Hum has in Russian companies have out-performed every other country !).

 

The Baron needs to step in and sort things out.

Obama has been "kissing Angela's large derrière" for far too long and the Germans think they know everything.

They will do anything for the sake of unity and preserving wealth within Germany.

There will never be a "shake up" in Germany: they are too staid and un-imaginative (just like the Swiss).

No Britain and the US are the only places left in the world where there is any leadership........and the rest of the (free) world will follow.

And Hum's word of advice is, have nothing to do with the Middle East and Africa.

Leave them well alone. No trade. No nothing. Restricted travel. No aid. Nada. For the next 20 years at least.

What gives us the right to interfere.

[Jim Avery]

And while you are at it, can you please have a word or two with Prince Charles??

[ho-hum]

And while you are at it, can you please have a word or two with Prince Charles??

 

Hahaha........what's he done to upset you ?

[Jim Avery]

Hahaha........what's he done to upset you ?

 

Just his usual bleatings from the security of the Palace on how the rest of us need to be more "tolerant".

[ho-hum]

Just his usual bleatings from the security of the Palace on how the rest of us need to be more "tolerant".

 

Yes got it Jim........silly twerp (him not you) !

 

He means well of course but he hasn't got a clue how the world works.

Not true of the Queen and Prince Philip of course.

 

Hum will pop over and have a word. Can't do anything this year though.

Sorry folks. Sorry Jim. Take no notice. The British people know better. And a heck of a lot better than the German authorities and politicians.

Hum reads the reports from Berlin in total disbelief at protecting rights of potential terrorists over the people of their own ruddy country !!

 

You understand why we left Europe.

Socialism extremism madness.

And the common man is the victim.

[Jim Avery]

Yes, I fully understand and support Britain leaving the mess in the EU. Probably the only path to economic and social stability for Britain. Don't worry, we are with you, guns and all!:eek::D

[MACT]

And while you are at it, can you please have a word or two with Prince Charles??

 

Ol' Big Ears himself has obviously been at the Christmas sherry at Sandringham before Queen Betty arrives.

 

It seems he read the tea leaves the wrong way round and was wagging a naughty finger at the majority for being un-Christian like and making life so unpleasant for minorities.

 

Oi Charlie...try and keep your inanities for the plants, that is if they are still listening to the manure that one manufactures.

[mcpepe]

Hello all! Just got off the SD2 yesterday after 12 blissful days. Finally got to meet the man behind the curtain, a certain HoHum and his lovely wife Blondie!

 

They are both lovely people and I enjoy Hum's wicked sense of humor!:D

 

Hope to sail with Hum and Blondie again as they really sweet people and I enjoyed chatting immensely with them.

[Jim Avery]

Hi Maria, glad you had such a nice time. It is a great event meeting Ho-Hum and Blondie. Sounds as if it worked again. You realize of course that the World Famous Blondie is 100% real but the large hairy "person" you met portrayed as Ho-Hum is not really he. The real Ho-Hum is a short portly bald genius who stays permanently in the Owner's Suite downloading the endless feeds from the Mother Ship that provide the big Ho'-Hum's endless repartee and wine knowledge in 100 languages. Did you really think SeaDream would provide such terrible wifi for its guests? No, Mini Hum is using all that bandwidth, even when the rest of us are sleeping. Mini Hum needs no sleep being that much more advanced than the rest of us. He spends that time creatively arranging Big Hum's clothes and tending his hairstyle. You are in a select club Maria as you have been close, very close to the real Hum..........:eek::D

[mcpepe]

Hi Maria, glad you had such a nice time. It is a great event meeting Ho-Hum and Blondie. Sounds as if it worked again. You realize of course that the World Famous Blondie is 100% real but the large hairy "person" you met portrayed as Ho-Hum is not really he. The real Ho-Hum is a short portly bald genius who stays permanently in the Owner's Suite downloading the endless feeds from the Mother Ship that provide the big Ho'-Hum's endless repartee and wine knowledge in 100 languages. Did you really think SeaDream would provide such terrible wifi for its guests? No, Mini Hum is using all that bandwidth, even when the rest of us are sleeping. Mini Hum needs no sleep being that much more advanced than the rest of us. He spends that time creatively arranging Big Hum's clothes and tending his hairstyle. You are in a select club Maria as you have been close, very close to the real Hum..........:eek::D

 

LOL Well, you won't believe this but :::GASP::: Ho Hum was NOT esconced in said suite for the 5 night cruise I just disembarked! Somehow they were already booked?!!!! How did this happen? :eek: I believe Hum threw the squatters overboard (so much paperwork!) and they are now safe in the surroundings to which they are accustomed. :D

 

I found this close facsimile to Hum quite charming. But then I'm very gullible and easily fooled.

:D

[ho-hum]

Hello all! Just got off the SD2 yesterday after 12 blissful days. Finally got to meet the man behind the curtain, a certain HoHum and his lovely wife Blondie!

 

They are both lovely people and I enjoy Hum's wicked sense of humor!:D

 

Hope to sail with Hum and Blondie again as they really sweet people and I enjoyed chatting immensely with them.

 

 

Maria masked the huge disappointment of meeting Hum for the first time with so much dignity, grace and benevolence that Hum was somewhat unsure by the response (having been so used to the shocked and appalled reaction, nay revulsion even, by so many over the years greeted by the usual exclamation of horror "You're Hum !").

 

But seriously, Maria is a dynamic, very kind and fun lady who loves the crew and who love her immensely. Hum particularly liked Maria's mother and it was wonderful meeting her daughter after she had a journey from hell to reach "Schittolla".

 

Maria's kindness in sending her personal favourite champagne to Hum was particularly pleasing and wholly un-expected.

The wicked Hum did not reciprocate and for that Hum unreservedly apologises. Few fellow passengers buy Hum a drink, they are mostly frantically scrambling away to the nearest exit from Hum for last minute forgotten chores and other essential engagements !

 

Hum promises to reciprocate next time we meet Maria and lets have that chat about champagne and life and Sea Dream and stuff over a nice bottle (Hum's treat).

Love

HHxxx (one for each)

PS Hum promises to tell ALL about Jim and will not spare you the tales of debauchery and much, much more !

[ho-hum]

Hi Maria, glad you had such a nice time. It is a great event meeting Ho-Hum and Blondie. Sounds as if it worked again. You realize of course that the World Famous Blondie is 100% real but the large hairy "person" you met portrayed as Ho-Hum is not really he. The real Ho-Hum is a short portly bald genius who stays permanently in the Owner's Suite downloading the endless feeds from the Mother Ship that provide the big Ho'-Hum's endless repartee and wine knowledge in 100 languages. Did you really think SeaDream would provide such terrible wifi for its guests? No, Mini Hum is using all that bandwidth, even when the rest of us are sleeping. Mini Hum needs no sleep being that much more advanced than the rest of us. He spends that time creatively arranging Big Hum's clothes and tending his hairstyle. You are in a select club Maria as you have been close, very close to the real Hum..........:eek::D

 

Started early today Jim !

Deep clean the tequila still every now and then Jim, toxic elements build up and when ingested cause hallucinogenic episodes for days (as is evident from your pist).

 

You failed to mention Hum's dim wittedness and for that alone Hum is grateful to you.

The rest is all true Hum must "fess up" to.

Sadly we are not residing in the OS but along with the rest of humanity but at least one level up from "kiddie Hell" on Deck 2.

Oh, how they love to run up and down the corridor at all times, shouting and squealing whilst their parents take a wholly hands off approach to parenting (Hum thinks the trend is called "somebody else's problem and if you don't like it tough".

 

No good 'old boys this week.

No the good 'old boys are replaced by the young "movers & shakers" of corporate America, chatting to one another about engines, speedboats, cars........yes terribly dull, whilst there petite, dolls are transfixed to the screens of their cellphones texting to their girlfriends of how wonderful their life is and sending a "selfie" or two, or three, or four, as proof.

Odious and nauseating !

God, Hum misses the Lake Erie fisherman to whom Hum was terribly rude about and very unfairly t'boot.

Hum feels a cad about it all and regrets the pist (though suggesting shooting striking unionists has had a positive effect: the strike's over !).

 

But life onboard is pretty darn good, all the same.

The humidity has dropped and the wind provides a nice breeze.

St.John is likely packed with Azamara in and another identical boat: Oceana perhaps.

Hum's not bothered.

Champagne time.

Hope the kids have p'd off.

Hope nothing happens to them being in-supervised and all.

Senior management are being vigilant.