would you let 3 teenage girls....

[FalklandIslander]

Our men in the military are armed and trained, young girls are not.

 

By age 16, the OP's girls should have been exposed to enough situations which exercised their ability to make good judgements about safe conduct in dodgy situations. Unfortunately, some parents molly-coddle their children to the extent that the children don't get to exercise their judgement and then are still incapable of making sensible decisions in adulthood and even in retirement. I regularly run into retired cruisers who were evidently over-protected by their parents and consequently are less able to look out for themselves than savvy well-raised twelve year olds.

[michyC]

By age 16, the OP's girls should have been exposed to enough situations which exercised their ability to make good judgements about safe conduct in dodgy situations. Unfortunately, some parents molly-coddle their children to the extent that the children don't get to exercise their judgement and then are still incapable of making sensible decisions in adulthood and even in retirement. I regularly run into retired cruisers who were evidently over-protected by their parents and consequently are less able to look out for themselves than savvy well-raised twelve year olds.

 

Not doubting you because you talk sense, just wondering if some of the old dears are just dotty. Because if they were that feeble, it's a bit surprising that they have not yet been defrauded of their money, but I suppose when they were earning, there were gold class retirement plans for employees and taxes were lower. How do you reckon they are able to cruise? Is it just the Cheapy ones out of Florida where you find these folks, because some of those cruises are cheap as chips.

[FalklandIslander]

Not doubting you because you talk sense, just wondering if some of the old dears are just dotty. Because if they were that feeble, it's a bit surprising that they have not yet been defrauded of their money, but I suppose when they were earning, there were gold class retirement plans for employees and taxes were lower. How do you reckon they are able to cruise? Is it just the Cheapy ones out of Florida where you find these folks, because some of those cruises are cheap as chips.

 

I'm sure it varies from person to person. Often retired cruisers who don't appear to be senile ask me questions that make me wonder to myself things like: "Is this the first time out of the village?" or "Does this person know anything about the world not picked up watching fiction on television?"

 

Other cruisers have led rich and interesting lives and seem to have good judgement.

[michyC]

I'm sure it varies from person to person. Often retired cruisers who don't appear to be senile ask me questions that make me wonder to myself things like: "Is this the first time out of the village?" or "Does this person know anything about the world not picked up watching fiction on television?"

 

Other cruisers have led rich and interesting lives and seem to have good judgement.

 

 

Yes,I love talking with true travellers. You learn so much. There will be some on cruise ships, but when you go to remote areas, that is all you find,apart from the locals. In these instances, the older they are, generally the more interesting because they are still going off the beaten track, away from packaged tours.

[mjkacmom]

I do not think Jamaica would be the opportune place to teach anyone self reliance. You may as well throw them to the wolves.

 

What about the other stops? And you make it sound like taking a ship sponsored excursion in Jamaica means certain disaster. Is this based on facts?

[villauk]

I'm amazed this thread is still going. :)

 

Well I've only just found it :D. But I'm totally amazed. Young adults go away to University over here at 18 (when legally, they become adults). They have to live on their own and survive, most in a new city/town. A 20 year old on a ship excursion for a few hours and people are questioning it like she's going to an all night strip club :eek:. And a 25 year old MAN who is not allowed to go on a ship tour :eek:. 'Throwing someone to the Wolves' on a ship sponsored tour - it goes on and on.... unbelievable!

 

Admittedly, the 16 year old is one for consideration, but the people that keep mentioning night beach parties, strip clubs in Tallinn etc., there is no comparison to a couple of hours with a coach load of cruisers. And I always thought I was overprotective, but this has made even me look good.

 

Do your children not go on school/college trips to foreign countries where they are allowed some free time during the trip? My 2 teens have been to Spain and the US (Washington, Philly and New York) this year, and I happily let them go (not saying I didn't worry, but that's part of growing up). How will they ever build up that resilience if they are never allowed to experience a little freedom, especially in a more controlled situation such as this?

[srlafleur]

At 19 and 20, they could very well be fighting for our country overseas, or risking sexual assault on a college campus. And the lure of drugs on the islands vs. at home? Please.

Pretty sure any port in the Caribbean with a tour group is safer. I would have no qualms whatsoever "letting" 2 adults and one near-adult teen go on a ship's excursion. Certainly, if they are relatively sheltered and inexperienced being on their own they should be reminded of the possible dangers of wandering off alone, or of listening to a sales pitch from the depths of a back alley (seriously, there ARE 3 of them, and I doubt they've been living hidden away from the big, bad world).

In my experience, tour guides are pretty good at steering their groups away from trouble areas and shooing away any interlopers. They don't want to lose anyone.

[BlueCollarCruiser]

By age 16, the OP's girls should have been exposed to enough situations which exercised their ability to make good judgements about safe conduct in dodgy situations. Unfortunately, some parents molly-coddle their children to the extent that the children don't get to exercise their judgement and then are still incapable of making sensible decisions in adulthood and even in retirement. I regularly run into retired cruisers who were evidently over-protected by their parents and consequently are less able to look out for themselves than savvy well-raised twelve year olds.

 

If that was they case, they'd make the good judgement to not venture out into Jamaica to begin with.

[preschool teacher]

No to Jamacia....the others should be ok....stay together and give them a time to get back well ahead of boarding...good luck...report back on what they did....

[TravelerThom]

One good thing about this thread is that it has made me stop and THANK my parents (may they rest in peace) for allowing me to grow up. I'm sure they were concerned (worried if you prefer) about me, I am sure they watched at a distance more than I knew, but at 13 I was regularly going from Virginia to Massachusetts by myself on the train with a subway change from Penn Station to Grand Central. A group of three 16 - 19 year olds can't handle a SHIP TOUR?? OMG!!

 

I have enjoyed the 130 countries (not all of them safe) that I have visited -

 

THANKS MOM!; THANKS DAD!

[Rala]

No drama here, but thanks for the popcorn!! ;);)

 

No drama really? How 'bout your post #191. Sounds pretty dramatic

to me. :rolleyes::eek: ...throw them to the wolves... Holey Moley!!!

Edited October 10, 2016 by Rala
typo

[BlueCollarCruiser]

One good thing about this thread is that it has made me stop and THANK my parents (may they rest in peace) for allowing me to grow up. I'm sure they were concerned (worried if you prefer) about me, I am sure they watched at a distance more than I knew, but at 13 I was regularly going from Virginia to Massachusetts by myself on the train with a subway change from Penn Station to Grand Central. A group of three 16 - 19 year olds can't handle a SHIP TOUR?? OMG!!

 

I have enjoyed the 130 countries (not all of them safe) that I have visited -

 

THANKS MOM!; THANKS DAD!

 

Some parents don't want to needlessly endanger their children. It's a radical concept.

[kerryincork]

You really think going on a ship excursion is needlessly endangering their adult children?

What about allowing them to drive? the highest risk of all for young adults or teenagers to die.

Or are you seriously going to argue that more people are murdered on ship excursions than are killed on the roads.

24 hour news reporting has seriously distorted a lot of people's ability to judge risk accurately.

There has been lots of really interesting research done on the matter, as well good books on the subject.

 

I know it's every parents worst fear, something terrible happening to your child, no matter their age. I know it makes me feel sick thinking about it. But I am much more worried about traffic accidents or meningitis then a ship excursion.

I have already stated I personally would never go alone in Jamaica & only take ships excursions there. But I have never felt unsafe on an excursion and the tour guides I have met have been good people. It's absolutely in their best interest not to allow anything to happen to their guests.

Any excursion I've been on there has been no opportunity to go to cantina or bars that have not been approved by tour. Private Beach days with beach bar (18 is legal age to drink) may be a concern if they have never drank before and not because I believe there are men waiting to lure them away, but because water and alcohol (not as mixers 😉) is a dangerous combernation.

 

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

[TravelerThom]

Some parents don't want to needlessly endanger their children. It's a radical concept.

Neddlesly endangering your children is not allowing them to mature by stages as they are growing up. I find it disheartening not only personally but for the country and the world that allowing and encouaging your children to mature into self-sufficent adults has become a radical concept. If someone who is legally an adult is not mature enough to go on a ship tour (as in SUPERVISED), God help them when Mommy and Daddy are no longer around

[Ocean Dancer]

No drama really? How 'bout your post #191. Sounds pretty dramatic

to me. :rolleyes::eek: ...throw them to the wolves... Holey Moley!!!

 

Have you ever been to Jamaica? That is how I felt and I was with my DH!!

 

Two Jamaica men and 1 woman would not leave me alone. They were tugging at my clothes, grabbing at my hair and not allowing me to pass them. There were Jamaican police in view. They did nothing. My DH'S Special Ops training came in and we got the h*ll out of there.

 

This is not the port to have your children practice their independence.

[setsail]

One good thing about this thread is that it has made me stop and THANK my parents (may they rest in peace) for allowing me to grow up. I'm sure they were concerned (worried if you prefer) about me, I am sure they watched at a distance more than I knew, but at 13 I was regularly going from Virginia to Massachusetts by myself on the train with a subway change from Penn Station to Grand Central. A group of three 16 - 19 year olds can't handle a SHIP TOUR?? OMG!!

 

I have enjoyed the 130 countries (not all of them safe) that I have visited -

 

THANKS MOM!; THANKS DAD!

 

You missed the point also. I bet mom and dad did not ask a message board full of strangers before allowing you out.

[Ocean Dancer]

You missed the point also. I bet mom and dad did not ask a message board full of strangers before allowing you out.

 

The OP asked a valid question and with all our combined wisdom, I'm sure she will make the best decision for her family.

[mjkacmom]

Some parents don't want to needlessly endanger their children. It's a radical concept.

 

I raise my kids using the benign neglect concept. They walked to school, when I was available to drive them. They took public transportation, while I sat home. They flew without me, went on school trips across the country, even though I worried the whole time. 18 years goes by SO quickly! Getting dd20 to drive on the highway was tough, but she's fine now. Dd15 is very cautious, so I try to push her out of her comfort zone, like walking around the city with friends (before she's walking across a dark campus alone). Situational awareness is not something people learn holding hands with mom and dad, and it is a crucial life skill.

[bigque]

I guess for me this would depend on the maturity level of the you ladies. Only you as their parent knows that. Sometimes along with maturity you have to have some street smarts about you and there are some fully grown adults that don't have that neither and shouldn't really be out on their own anymore then these young ladies.

 

On our cruise last year on Adventure another couple we met here on CC in our roll call who became friends with met a couple of young ladies on the ship who were 20 & 21 who were cousins from London England. They were by them selves for a birthday getaway as a gift from the oldest girls parents. The birthday getaway not only included the cruise but also spending time in Orlando after the cruise. So they were from England to San Juan to Orlando. I believe that their parents had to really know these girls and believe beyond a doubt that they could make this trip alone and stay out of trouble. We would see them out and about at the ports and even so them on some of the excursion stops we were at.

 

I am just one that thinks as they get older we have to trust them as young adults to make informed adult decisions, as well as making good judgements and untie the umbilical at some point. I know it's hard but at some point we have to.

Edited October 10, 2016 by bigque

[Ocean Dancer]

I raise my kids using the benign neglect concept. They walked to school, when I was available to drive them. They took public transportation, while I sat home. They flew without me, went on school trips across the country, even though I worried the whole time. 18 years goes by SO quickly! Getting dd20 to drive on the highway was tough, but she's fine now. Dd15 is very cautious, so I try to push her out of her comfort zone, like walking around the city with friends (before she's walking across a dark campus alone). Situational awareness is not something people learn holding hands with mom and dad, and it is a crucial life skill.

 

You have also missed the point. You are talking about having 911 and police to contact. Most of us parents have done the same as you stated above.

 

I don't know if there is a 911 in Jamaica, but the police are a joke.

[mjkacmom]

You have also missed the point. You are talking about having 911 and police to contact. Most of us parents have done the same as you stated above.

 

I don't know if there is a 911 in Jamaica, but the police are a joke.

 

You are missing the point that this is a shop sponsored excursion. Can you come up with any crime data where the victims were on ship sponsored excursions.

[Ocean Dancer]

You are missing the point that this is a shop sponsored excursion. Can you come up with any crime data where the victims were on ship sponsored excursions.

 

The OP asked about both.........we were on our way to the meeting spot when the above happened to me.

[TC1957]

Only the OP knows his daughters.

 

However, I will say this. My daughter studied in London for a semester when she was 20. During the semester, her and a classmate (also 20) took long weekend trips to Paris and Athens...and she took one to Copenhagen alone. After the semester ended, we paid for a two week trip, that she made alone, back to Paris, then on to Switzerland, Austria, Germany and Italy before flying home. When we were helping her with the planning, we book hotels...not hostels. She never had a problem, was never uneasy and had a fantastic experience.

 

Eventually...hopefully...every child has to "leave the nest". Parents still worry, but you have to trust that you prepared them for life and taught them how to take care of themselves.

 

Oh...this was when the movie Taken was released...our son told us not to watch it until she got home.

[TravelerThom]

You missed the point also. I bet mom and dad did not ask a message board full of strangers before allowing you out.

You will have to inform me what point I missed.:confused:

 

I was not responding to you or any other specific individual, so I don't know what point there was to miss.

[Ocean Dancer]

Hi Thom, you missed nothing. Almost every poster is way off track and not understanding the dangers of Jamaica.

 

I was raised as you also and am thanking my parents too. But in my opinion, Jamaica is not the place to start with the young girls independence.