rower52 Posted November 18, 2017 #1 Share Posted November 18, 2017 Got a great offer on a Caribbean cruise on The Nieuw Amsterdam that I couldn’t say no to for a week starting today. My husband and I loved HAL and really loved to cruise during our anniversary week over Thanksgiving. My husband passed away in 2016, and I have taken all the trips we had booked together, the last one being an Alaska cruise on the Volendam in August. For all those trips I went with my sister, her family, or my girlfriends. This one I decided to do on my own. Trying to see if I can entertain myself and if I will enjoy my own company on a ship solo. Was excited to do as I wish, when I wish, with no compromise. Having all that great closet space to myself. It’s all about me this trip. Well that was great until two hours in and the safety drill. Went down to my lifeboat station and stood next to an elderly couple (probably my age). He had his arms wrapped around her as she stood in front of him and it was obvious that he cared. And she cared. And I’m crying the whole time, missing what I had and feeling alone and wondering if it will ever get easier. It’s Thanksgiving week. I’m so thankful for what I had, and that I’m healthy and able to cruise. But I miss the crowded closets, the snoring, and somebody to hold on to me during the lifeboat drill. Hold your sweeties extra tight CCers. Even when they’re irritating. Happy Thanksgiving. Thankful for these boards. I learn so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jlnprt Posted November 18, 2017 #2 Share Posted November 18, 2017 Hang in there! You are brave to take a trip on your own and I hope that you end up having a fabulous time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joekerstef Posted November 18, 2017 #3 Share Posted November 18, 2017 I'm sorry for your loss, Rower52. I'm sure you'll encounter some rough spots in this new phase of your life, but you have a great, positive attitude. I watched NA leave port on the webcam and there was a beautiful sunset behind the ship as you were turning into the channel. I hope your sadness passes and you can take comfort in your memories of your DH as you make some new ones on your own. Best wishes for a wonderful cruise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VennDiagram Posted November 18, 2017 #4 Share Posted November 18, 2017 What a touching post, thank you for sharing! You will do fine ... except when you get surprised like you did today. Cry, regroup, and take however long you need for that regrouping. And then you will do fine again. What you are doing is not easy, it takes a firm backbone to decide to be a solo cruiser ;) I wish you all the best on your cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SetAnOpenCourse Posted November 18, 2017 #5 Share Posted November 18, 2017 I will do that, rower. Thanks for sharing, because it does make a difference for others. I hope your time at sea is restorative and healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevenseasnomad Posted November 18, 2017 #6 Share Posted November 18, 2017 So sorry for your loss. I, too, lost my DH on August 23, the day after our 47th anniversary. I believe he was holding on to celebrate #47, as he died in the early a.m. hours of the 23rd. You are brave to travel by yourself, so be proud of yourself. You are more courageous than I am, since DH & I were scheduled to go on a Christmas cruise. Now, my brother is going with me because I wouldn't dare go by myself. Not yet, at least. As I'm discovering, every time I see a couple, my heart aches, and I'm reminded of what I've lost, as you have obviously experienced too. Don't be ashamed of those tears, they are a testament to a wonderful and loving partner who is now present only in spirit and memories. I hope you can build some new memories and gain some new friends on this cruise. Wishing you all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krazy Kruizers Posted November 18, 2017 #7 Share Posted November 18, 2017 I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I know that was hard on you seeing the couple hugging during the lifeboat drill -- but hand in there. You mentioned that you took the cruises that both of you had booked. Did you have friends with you? Before you left on the Nieuw Amsterdam, did you check your Roll Call? Hope there is a solo lunch that you can go to. You can do it. I have a friend who has been sailing solo for a while and doing just fine. You can do it. Enjoy your cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuthC Posted November 19, 2017 #8 Share Posted November 19, 2017 ...And I’m crying the whole time, missing what I had and feeling alone and wondering if it will ever get easier. I am so sorry for your loss, and I am here to promise you that if you continue to cruise alone it will get easier---a little bit each time. I have cruised alone many times, and faced a lot, since my husband died, and I don't know that I would have the strength to go it alone over Thanksgiving. Take the down time you need when you need it. Chin up. It will get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detroit70 Posted November 19, 2017 #9 Share Posted November 19, 2017 My husband died in 2015 as were celebrating our 45th anniversary on our 6th cruise together on HAL. I waited a year before taking another cruise, but decided the way to honor his memory and our time together would be to take another cruise during the week that was the anniversary of his death and of our wedding. I purposely chose to go by myself for that one, followed by a Christmas cruise last year, and next April I will take my 11th cruise by myself. There are rough moments, or what some of us call grief ambushes. I find it happens each time I board the ship for the first time for example, although those have lessened in intensity across the couple years. I'm even getting better at getting beyond my introvert self and starting conversations with strangers sometimes. I have shared in your tears when seeing loving couples enjoying their time together on board, but I sometimes get a similar reaction when I see them at a movie theater or the grocery store or walking hand in hand in the park. People have told me that I'm doing what Dave would want me to do, and I think that's probably right. And I think it has become just a little easier with each solo cruise. But I also endorse your closing words and would encourage others to cherish and celebrate the moments you have together. They are a gift, as are all the memories I can still carry with me. Thanks for listening. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruise pastor Posted November 19, 2017 #10 Share Posted November 19, 2017 OH my...my hubby and I are both teary as we read your post. We, like you in earlier days, travel the world on HAL ships. We want to thank you for this wake up call this morning. Love each other while we can! Sent from my iPad using Forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sage Posted November 19, 2017 #11 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Rower52 I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that you miss him very much. I lost my DH in April of this year. This will be my first Thanksgiving alone. I admire you for trying this cruise. I know you will miss him greatly, but as RuthC says, hopefully it will be easier. I will look forward to your thought when you return, and my prayers will be with you on your cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
English_in_Spain Posted November 19, 2017 #12 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I also understand how you feel. My husband of 46 years died in September 2016. We took 30 cruises together over the years. I am going on a cruise on the Veendam (one of his favourite ships) in a couple of weeks. It will be my first cruise without him. I have arranged with HAL to scatter his ashes at sea. I have a friend cruising with me. I don't think I could do it alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRL_Joanie Posted November 19, 2017 #13 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I also understand how you feel. My husband of 46 years died in September 2016. We took 30 cruises together over the years. I am going on a cruise on the Veendam (one of his favourite ships) in a couple of weeks. It will be my first cruise without him. I have arranged with HAL to scatter his ashes at sea. I have a friend cruising with me. I don't think I could do it alone. Carol, I cannot find your email:( Somehow I deleted it from my email program:( Can you email me? I have some news for you, not related to this thread. (email is in my addy) To all of you awesome and brave ladies and gentlemen, cruising on in your life without your loved ones, I am sorry for your losses, but also so proud to hear that you are continuing to survive and gain in spirit and life. I know that sounds stupid, but I cannot think of how to express my hopes of IF (or should I say When?) hubby or I are in your positions, we too will carry onward:) Joanie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sage Posted November 19, 2017 #14 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Carol my condolences on the loss of your husband. I hope that you have a wonderful cruise, even though it may be difficult at times. I'm sailing on the Noordam in May of next year, our favorite ship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rower52 Posted November 20, 2017 Author #15 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Thank you all for your kind words, support and understanding. So many of us in a club we never wanted to join. I appreciate all of you sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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