Pirate’s DREAMy Dysfunctional Family Vacation Review...April 21-28, 2019

[pirate4me2]

Sorry for the delay in posting this weekend everyone, life (especially that life-changing event I teased about earlier) got in the way of me typing things up. So let’s crack on, shall we?

 

Today we are in one of my favorite ports, Cozumel. I know Coz is a common port that a lot of cruisers say they couldn’t care less about, but I love it! I’m not really sure what it is, but when I get there I just feel relaxed, happy and at home. However, I was a little anxious about it today because when I looked at the port schedule there were 5 ships on the roster, 1 was Harmony of the Seas and 1 was Carnival Vista, both BIG girls with lots of passengers! Luckily we got in about an hour before Vista, so I told everyone in our group to be up and ready to disembark right when clearance was received.

 

The family all was ready to go as I had instructed. We met in the hallway outside my room and at 7:15we were standing on the pier. We quickly made our way through the port shops, although I had to keep pulling Crazy Uncle away from looking at things…I swear he has ADD! I told him that we needed to get to Mr Sanchos before the rush of passengers arrived if we wanted a decent place with shade AND sun, as it may get busy since it’s a popular place with cruisers. Once I said that he managed to focus on walking to the taxi stand without getting distracted.

 

The taxi ride for 6 people to Mr Sanchos was $34, and we were some of the first to arrive at the beach club. Score! After paying the balance due, we were escorted by Julio to a table that was partially shaded and next to the loungers. He took our drink orders, and we checked out how the ocean was today.

 

This was the first time I had been to Mr Sanchos and actually not wanted to be in the water. There were a lot of waves, and because of that there was a LOT of seaweed in the water. It was so churned up that you couldn’t even see the bottom. Normally there is some seaweed, but not like this, and normally you can see the bottom of the ocean. I was disappointed but figured if I wanted to cool off I would make do with the pool.

 

Julio brought our drinks, and I tried a bit of everyone’s. I had ordered a Sex on the Beach, which was strong and good. That ended up being my drink for the day. Someone, I think Crazy Uncle, ordered a Ticket to Fly which was good but a tad too sweet. My Dad ordered a Miami Vice, which was yummy, and Tame Uncle ordered a Blue Sea, which was strong but just not my cup of tea.

 

Harmony of the Seas

 

 

 

 

Sex on the Beach 

 

Blue Sea and I believe the Ticket to Fly

Edited May 6, 2019 by pirate4me2

[pirate4me2]

Shortly after our drinks came, Julio brought us food. We had placed an order for pretty much a little bit of everything! Tame Uncle had wanted to try the seafood soup, which he said was good but he wasn’t crazy about the muscles in it. Crazy Uncle was ALL ABOUT the whole fried fish, him and a gentleman from another table even dared each other to eat the eyeballs…gross! I stuck with the more tame, traditional items, such as the coconut shrimps which were AMAZING. Ask for some habanero sauce and that makes them even better! Chris ordered the beef tacos, which he said were good, and a cheese quesadilla. Later in the day I got some shrimp tacos, which when you add the habanero sauce to them are awesome, and a chicken quesadilla, which was OK but needed something, I am not sure what. I also cannot tell you how much guacamole the table ended up consuming, Mexico is probably in an avocado shortage now from us!

 

We all cooled off in the pool, which felt fantastic, and we ordered more drinks from the swim up bar. Service at the bar was pretty crazy, it was hard to get the bartenders attention. I can’t fault him, with the amount of people that were there I am surprised he was able to keep up! 

 

We got to the point that we figured it was probably not safe for us to be in the water given the amount of drinks we had consumed, and we stumbled back to our table. It was probably about noon by this time, and we had made good friends with the table next to us. We were scaring away other cruisers who were just now arriving to the beach club, they would be led over next to us and if they had kids in their group they were asking to be moved to somewhere else. No joke. I should probably be ashamed of that, but we had become THAT GROUP. Shortly after we sat back down, whoever was in charge of the music playing got it right and started playing GOOD songs. “Apple bottom jeans, boots with da fur! Da whole clubs was lookin’ at her!” Yeah…the guy from the table next to us, Crazy Uncle, and my super reserved husband all decided to see who could get the lowest to the sand without falling over. I can’t remember who the winner was, or if we even chose a winner, but I remember laughing hysterically. Shortly after that, Journey “Don’t Stop Believing” came on, and who can resist singing along to that?? I jumped up shouting “They’re playing my song!” and the guy from the table next to us shouts, “Sing it girl!”

 

Now, anyone that knows me knows that I am pretty shy, and I DO NOT sing in front of people. Ever. My husband has never even heard me sing. The only soul that has ever heard me sing is my dog, Divya, who howls any time I sing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” or Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On a Prayer.” I choose to think that she is singing along with me, thank you very much. However, on this day, Friday, April 26, 2019 all of Cozumel Mexico probably heard me singing a very off key, drunk version of Don’t Stop Believing’, and there IS video proof of it on my iPhone. I proudly took video singing with Crazy Uncle, Mom, a random lady I don’t remember, and the guy from the table next door. However, that video will NOT be posted here and it is under lock and key, in a vault, never to be seen by anyone….unless I get drunk and release it, or if I become famous and someone hacks my phone and posts it. Oh, and the guy from the table next to of DID have his GoPro out, so if you go on YouTube and search “drunken girls singing in Cozumel” you may find it…or something else entirely. 

 

I finished my concert for the good people of Cozumel and sat back down…only to jump right back up when the opening of Def Leopard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” came on. I grew up listening to this song blast out of the speakers in my dad’s truck…I swear every time he drove up the driveway getting home from work in the morning I could hear it from inside the house. I started belting it out, and I am ashamed to say that my poor uncles and father had to witness me pouring a bottle of water provocatively over myself…they will probably never be able to listen to that song again without turning red.

 

I figured that after being so obviously drunk that I was doing embarrassing things, maybe I better get some nachos to soak up the alcohol. I went to the buffet and piled a plate with tortilla chips, pico, and I remember getting SO EXCITED over the fact that they had JALAPENO cheese sauce. It’s that fake junk from the ballparks, not like real queso, but I was SO HAPPY. I drowned the poor chips with that and pranced back to the table and ate the whole dang plate. It was delicious…at least in my drunken state.

 

our view for the day

 

Underneath the shadey hut thingies makes a great storage for your stuff! Just don’t forget you put it there...

 

Pool area

 

More pool area

 

Pool bar

 

In-the-water barstools

 

I remember being amused by this sign and their need to post it...HOWEVER given my concert (I use that term loosely!) I guess I see the need for it 😜

 

More pool area

 

Swings that hat I never got to use but meant to

 

COCONUT SHRIMP! I want some of these right now...

 

Random tree I felt the need to photograph...I musta been drunk at this point 😂

Edited May 7, 2019 by pirate4me2

[pirate4me2]

We finally left Mr Sanchos at about 2:30, after promising to meet up and sing karoke at some point with the guy from the table next door. We took a taxi back to the port, and once there a few of us needed to potty. Mom and I took off for the ladies’ room, and Dad took off for the gentlemans’. When we came back out we were all ready to shop….until we realized someone was missing. Roll call! Chris, check, Dad, check, Crazy Uncle, present….wait, where is Tame Uncle? Oh sheesh! How do we keep loosing him? We need a harness and leash for him, he’s like a dog! We sent my dad back into the bathroom, and he came out shaking his head. We waiting around for a few minutes, then Mom and Dad got fed up and said they were going to go do their shopping. Jeeze Mom, you’re willing to leave your own brother lost in Mexico? 

 

Just as they walked off Crazy Uncle spotted Tame Uncle in line to checkout at that store right next to the restrooms, I think it’s called Pancho’s Backyard or something like that. Whew, he hadn’t been kidnapped for some Mexican drug trafficking ring…or worse! He came over to us and the boys decided they wanted to do some shopping, but I knew that if I wandered the stores I would end up buying useless trinkets that I would later have buyer’s remorse over when I sobered up. I told them I was heading back to the ship, and who should I meet up with at the pier other than Mom and Pops? The 3 of us made it back onboard, and guess what y’all? Unlike in Costa Maya, I actually remember re-boarding the Dream. Score! Mexico may have won the first round, but I came back to hold my own in round 2. 

 

I showered and then hung out on the balcony watching for pier runners, hoping to goodness that Chris and the Uncles wouldn’t be any. Thanks goodness they were not, Chris came back onboard about 15 minutes before back-on-board time. We did have a few pier WALKERS though, and myself, the room next to me (some of Papa T’s family), and some people on the Serenity deck had fun heckling them.

 

Once we sailed out, I decided it was time for some dinner (like I hadn’t ate enough at Mr Sanchos!) and I hit up the deli for a traditional BLT. It was yummy, and after snarfing it down like a wild, rabid animal I decided I needed some spa time. Sweat out all that alcohol! I had a nice relaxing time in the spa, as there were only 3 others in it with me, and then I headed to deck 12 aft to meet up with the family for a bit. We watched the thunderstorm that was going on in the distance and admired Vista sailing behind us.  

 

Around 8 I decided that all the alcohol and sun had taken their toll, and I headed back to the cabin to just relax. I was sad that tomorrow was our last day onboard, and our vacation was drawing to an end. I did a little packing, and called it a night.

 

Byeeeee Vista...you’re one of my favorite ships, mainly because Matt Mitchum is the CD onboard 😂

 

Our towel animal tonight

 

Ummm...yea I dunno why I took this pic tonight. Anyway, here is Dream’s funnel and mini golf course 😜

Edited May 7, 2019 by pirate4me2

[pirate4me2]

t’s my last day onboard, WAAHHHHHHHH! I always think to myself, where can I hide and not be found so that I can stay onboard? I’m not ready to go back to reality yet!

 

I woke up at 9 today and Chris and I went to Sea Day Brunch without any of the family. Mom had made it clear the night before that she was sleeping in and not to be disturbed, and the rooster never came crowing this morning. Had the dark interior cabin finally worked at killing that internal clock of his? 

 

Anyway, Chris and I were seated at a large table with 6 other people for brunch, most of whom were very nice and pleasant to talk to. There was one lady who seemed to complain about everything, and if you didn’t include her in the conversation she would budge her way in, and that kind of killed the nice vibe of the table. Oh well, brunch was delicious. I got the Caesar salad with chicken, and then the eggs benedict. We had also swung by Java Blue on our way to the MDR to get coffees, and they were fantastic. Mocha really knows how to make a good coffee!

 

 

[pirate4me2]

I decided I better hit up the T-pool one last time, so I went to the spa after we finished eating. Gosh I want to build a T-pool on my back deck to relax in after a long day at work, or unloading a load of hay, or heck just to sit in and enjoy a glass of wine in the winter. Maybe when I get to my forever home I will convince Chris to let me do that…

 

Chris and I somehow managed to avoid the family even through lunchtime, and we hit up Pig & Anchor for our last lunch onboard. I got the same exact thing as day 1: the sausage (it was cold but still had good flavor), coleslaw (freaking amazing!) and Mac & Cheese, which was warm today and soooooo good. I wish I could make good Mac & Cheese like that at home.

 

[pirate4me2]

When we finished eating, we figured we should probably find the family and make sure they were alive. We went to the spot we just knew they would be at, deck 11 aft so that Crazy Uncle could smoke. Hey, there they are, walking with the guy we made friends with at Mr Sanchos yesterday! We all ordered a round of drinks to celebrate a successful cruise: the 2 Uncles and Dad got Whiskey Sours, which I had never had but tried and I liked, a Twilight Zone for me, which was fantabulous, and a Funship Special for Mom and Chris, which the bartender (who Crazy Uncle had befriended) made STRONG.

 

After bidding our new friend good-bye and safe travels home, we all decided to check out the cakes on the Lido for lunch. I was a fat kid and wanted to try 3 different ones: the Bourbon Pecan, Turtle, and Windmill. To be honest, they all tasted the same to me, like plain chocolate cake. Maybe all the alcohol I had drank this week had killed my taste buds? 

 

I headed back to the room to finish packing and to sit on the balcony and read for a little bit. I got to finish the book I had started earlier in the week, which made me happy, and I hung out there until the Diamond and Platinum Reunion at 5. It was held in the Burgundy Lounge, which was a fantastic location….there were lots of seats and tables available. I ordered a Mai Tai to start with, then went and did the Guess the Ship, Guess the Number of Candies, and the Guess the Stripes (I forget the correct term) games.

 

When I came back Chris was sucking down not only my Mai Tai, but also his Funship Special! What the heck dude??? His excuse: “I thought they were both mine.” HAND OVER THE MAI TAI, TURD! It was half gone, and when the bar waiter came around with another round of drinks I made a point of grabbing a Funship not only for me, but also “for Chris” and sucking them both down. HA!

The party had the usual rice & bean sushi rolls (ew), traditional sushi rolls (double yuck!), pork BBQ sliders (yummy!) and the little shrimp pastry things (GIVE ME THE WHOLE DANG TRY OF THOSE AND BACK AWAY, WAITER!), and it lasted about an hour. They had the country duo playing, did the usual video, and announced the winners of the contests. Toward the end of the party, the lady next to us had this drink delivered that intrigued me. I asked her what it was, and she told me it was a White Russian. Hmmm, maybe I should try one of those since it is free, and if I don’t like it I’m not out any money.

 

OH. EM. GEE. I think I have a new favorite drink! This thing is SO GOOD. I still don’t know what is in it, but it tastes just like coffee and I can easily see myself sipping these all day long. Add it to my list of must haves!

 

One of the cake selections on the Lido lunch buffet

 

What a perfect sea day!

 

Can i I just say, the decor in the Burgundy lounge is a tad creepy?

 

Funship Special

 

Country duo playing at the D&P Reunion party 

 

Yasssss, my new favorite drink, the White Russian!

 

Chris’s Mocha Chocolate Getaway 

Edited May 7, 2019 by pirate4me2

[pirate4me2]

We left the party and headed straight to dinner with the family since we figured we needed some grub to soak up the alcohol. I really wasn’t too hungry after all the drinks I had consumed in just 1 hour (5.5, I should probably be ashamed) but I knew if I didn’t eat something I would be in bad shape. I devoured some bread, then ordered the caprese salad (yuuuuum!), cornmeal crusted chicken (so tender and so yummy!) and some creamed spinach (my favorite side dish!). Nobody was hungry for dessert, so we left without any sweets. This was probably a good thing, as when we got home Dad was having a fit over the fact that he gained 6 pounds this week. That’s what that Lido cake buffet will do to you Poppers…

 

I don’t really remember what we did in between the time we left dinner and the Mardi Gras Party that took place in the atrium at 8:45, but we did go to that (it was fun) and then finally called it a day at 9:15. I started a new book on my Kindle, and stayed up until we passed the Glory as she headed downriver and we went up at around 10:30. See you in November, Glory!

 

I went to bed still trying to plot out how to hide out onboard tomorrow. Oh wait, I can’t….Chris and I made that big life decision on Thursday while we were in Belize. We now had a reason to look forward to heading home. *Sigh* I guess I will have to wait until my cruise on the Sunshine in August!

 

 

Mmmmmm, caprese!!! Anyone know a good balsamic reduction recipe so I can make this at home??

 

Cornmeal crusted chicken...YUMMMM

 

Ahhhh creamed spinach!! 

 

Sunset 

 

The usual last day towel animal

 

Byeeee Glory! See you in November!!

 

Edited May 7, 2019 by pirate4me2

[pirate4me2]

Last night Chris and I had received a letter telling us to meet in the Crimson MDR on deck 3 at 7:00for the self-assist Priority debarkation. I am ashamed to say, we did sneak Mom and Dad, as well as the Uncles, in with us. Sorry everyone, but we were sharing an Uber with them and had a long journey home ahead of us! I promise, we didn’t sneak them onboard with our Priority status, and they didn’t get any other priority perks!

 

Anyway, we all hauled our luggage down to the MDR and took a seat to wait. And we waited. And waited some more. This was one of the longest waits I have experienced for debarkation since turning Platinum, I am not really sure what the holdup was. I did notice when we woke up at 6:15that we were still sailing upriver, so maybe we ran a little late getting into port? We were finally cleared about 7:35 to debark, and once that clearance came we were off the ship and thru Customs quick….my Uber app shows we called the Uber at 7:51. 

 

Thank goodness our Uber XL this time was a Dodge Caravan, no clown car for us! There was plenty or room for us and our luggage, and our driver was awesome….super friendly and talkative. He had us back to the Holiday Inn Downtown at 8:03, and the ride was $11.84.

 

We bid the Uncles farewell and safe travels. Tame Uncle had to head right back to work, he works for Dollar General and had a new store to go help set up on the coast of NC, a 1000 mile trip. Crazy Uncle wasn’t due back to work until Thursday and wasn’t sure what his plans were, he said he may camp out in the wilderness for a few days. Just watch out for those gators, Crazy! We all hugged and shed a few tears (not) and went our ways. The Dysfunctional Family Vacation had come to an end.

 

Mom, Dad, Chris and I drove for about 2 hours and pulled off in Mobile, Alabama to pick up some new family members that Mom had made arrangements for about a week before our vacation. While we were on the cruise, we came up with their names, in honor of our time spent on the Dream…everyone meet Midori and Viniq.

 

 

[pirate4me2]

They are little troopers, let me tell you! The made the long ride home and not once did they cry or bark, they slept most of the trip.

 

After we picked those little turds up, we hit the road and made good time…until we hit Atlanta. I hate Atlanta…sorry if any of y’all live there. Traffic stinks, and I was super anxious to get thru there and to Jefferson, GA. We finally made it to Jefferson at about 6:45, where we picked up MY newest family member….everyone meet Traveler!

[pirate4me2]

Chris and I had been toying with the idea for about 6 months now of getting Divya, our Australian Shepard, a friend. She goes and plays every day with my parents’ Rottie, but at home or on days when she doesn’t go over she just seems lonely. While we were on vacation her breeder we got her from kept posting pictures and videos of this little guy, who was 4 months old, and hadn’t found his home yet. He is Div’s half brother, and when I inquired about him his breeder said he is absolutely mellow (the opposite of my dear bat poo crazy Divs) and she offered a really good price on him. After talking it over Chris and I decided the time was right, let’s add another kid (I cannot actually have kids, so the dogs and cats are our children) to the family. In honor of deciding to get him while we were on a cruise, and in Belize, his name is Island Traveler. This past week with him has been an adventure, and he sure keeps me on my toes, but we love him already.

 

After picking Travs up we made good time and got home about 8:30. We quickly switched the luggage over to my truck, got Divya out of the lot with Oopie, and headed home. She and Traveler made quick friends, and that was the end of another successful cruise.

 

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask and I will try and answer them while my mind is still fresh from the cruise….unless the question has anything to do with my blackout in Costa Maya. Stay tuned for my next adventure, which will be a girls’ cruise for my birthday with my mom and our mutual friend, in August. If anyone is aboard the Sunshine on her August 24 sailing, I apologize in advance for my behavior…

 

Peace Out! 😜

 

 

[aztekpm]

Great Review and what adorable dogs!

[Border Granny]

So sad to see one of the funniest and most enjoyable reviews I have ever read come to an end! Thank you for writing it, and I can hardly wait for the girls cruise, if this cruise is any indication that one should be epic, lol. Love your new little boy, he’s adorable and will keep you busy til your next cruise:).

[pirate4me2]

44 minutes ago, aztekpm said:

Great Review and what adorable dogs!

 

Thank you!

 

38 minutes ago, Border Granny said:

So sad to see one of the funniest and most enjoyable reviews I have ever read come to an end! Thank you for writing it, and I can hardly wait for the girls cruise, if this cruise is any indication that one should be epic, lol. Love your new little boy, he’s adorable and will keep you busy til your next cruise:).

 

Well thank you for that compliment! And yes, Traveler has already kept he busy this past week, he’s a handful for sure!

[Gatorfan01]

Thoroughly enjoyed your review! Thank you for taking the time to share your adventures with us. Looking forward to your girls cruise. I’ll be doing my girls Cruise the week after yours on the Miracle. 

[DebOinKC]

Loved your review! And congrats on the new addition 🙂 

[Amadawn1]

Oh my gosh, what a wonderful review you wrote.  You've had me laughing throughout.  Y'all would be so much fun to cruise with!  Have a great time on your girl's cruise!  Thanks for sharing with all of us!

[pirate4me2]

19 minutes ago, Gatorfan01 said:

Thoroughly enjoyed your review! Thank you for taking the time to share your adventures with us. Looking forward to your girls cruise. I’ll be doing my girls Cruise the week after yours on the Miracle. 

 

Oh I hope you love the Miracle, we really enjoyed sailing it last November. I love the size of Spirit class ships. 

 

10 minutes ago, DebOinKC said:

Loved your review! And congrats on the new addition 🙂 

 

Thank you! 

 

1 minute ago, Amadawn1 said:

Oh my gosh, what a wonderful review you wrote.  You've had me laughing throughout.  Y'all would be so much fun to cruise with!  Have a great time on your girl's cruise!  Thanks for sharing with all of us!

 

Thanks for following along. 🙂

[Cairns Cruisers]

Thanks again for the best review I've read on CC.

I have a question, you mentioned Chris found crazy uncle the perfect woman that night. Are there any details on that you can pass on?

[pirate4me2]

3 hours ago, Cairns Cruisers said:

Thanks again for the best review I've read on CC.

I have a question, you mentioned Chris found crazy uncle the perfect woman that night. Are there any details on that you can pass on?

 

Ahhhh, sadly no! Chris said she was all about Tony, and he was all about her...but none of the rest of us met her or ever saw her again. 😢 

[crewsweeper]

Great review Stephanie.  Thanks for sharing.  Glad everyone made it home safe and sound. (Assuming Crazy Uncle didn't get gator bit).

[Dvelocity]

I am so sad that this had to come to an end, it was so enjoyable!  AND it came with Puppy pictures Oh My Gosh.    I am looking forward to your two upcoming cruises and I am so Jealous that you get to take 2 before my next cruise.  But I am hoping you will post reviews so that I can follow along. 

 

Thank you so much for sharing with us! 

[pirate4me2]

2 hours ago, crewsweeper said:

Great review Stephanie.  Thanks for sharing.  Glad everyone made it home safe and sound. (Assuming Crazy Uncle didn't get gator bit).

 

Haha Crazy Uncle made it home safe and sound!

 

9 minutes ago, Dvelocity said:

I am so sad that this had to come to an end, it was so enjoyable!  AND it came with Puppy pictures Oh My Gosh.    I am looking forward to your two upcoming cruises and I am so Jealous that you get to take 2 before my next cruise.  But I am hoping you will post reviews so that I can follow along. 

 

Thank you so much for sharing with us! 

 

Thank you for reading and following along. I will post reviews of my Sunshine sailings :)

[pyropoodle]

Why do I feel sad, like MY cruise just ended. 

 

thank you for taking us on your adventures.   Can't wait to read the next one.

[pirate4me2]

9 minutes ago, pyropoodle said:

Why do I feel sad, like MY cruise just ended. 

 

thank you for taking us on your adventures.   Can't wait to read the next one.

 

Thank you for reading. Hopefully my next one can be just as entertaining, although with Crazy Uncle not on it we may be a little more tame. Although Mom and I DID wake up with glitter all over us on one of our girls' cruises, and we have no idea where THAT came from...

[doodlebug67]

What a GREAT review!!!  I am so sad for it to end!! 😢