Burial at sea, release of ashes

[MontanaMiss]

Has recently requested to release a family members ashes at sea? How does HAL handle this situation?

 

[PACD_JG]

Here is a response from HAL from April.

 

Dear Mr. XXXXX,

 

We at Holland America Line are truly sorry to hear of your loss and would like to extend our deepest condolences to you and your family.

 

In response to your inquiry, we are pleased to advise that we can assist with the spreading of your loved one’s remains at sea.   Please find the below guidelines for burials at sea.

 

• Burial at sea of cremated remains can only be done at sea while cruising in International Waters and at least 12 nautical miles off the coastline.
• Containers for the remains (if used), must be provided by the guests and biodegradable.
• Flowers & wreaths that are decomposable in the marine environment may be placed at the burial site.
• An Officer is required by EPA regulations to be present for the spreading of the ashes.
• Holland America does not perform memorial services; however, if the guests would like to have clergy present this can be requested.
• The captain can provide a certificate with the ship’s position and time of the spreading of ashes.
• Guest should contact customs and airlines in regard to any paperwork, certificates or permits that may be needed.

 

Once on board you will want to contact the Guest Relations Manager to confirm the arrangements and assist with any last minute questions you may have. Please don't hesitate to contact me should you think of any questions or additional celebrations of life you would like to add prior to your sailing.

[Haljo1935]

44 minutes ago, MontanaMiss said:

Has recently requested to release a family members ashes at sea? How does HAL handle this situation?

 

@MontanaMiss I had arranged for this to be done through HAL, but ultimately did not do it..

I had a conversation w/a very pleasant person who explained the process, told me who my contact on the ship would be and sent me an email like the one posted by @PACD_JG, so I believe the process is still the same. That email advises what you are allowed to use (flowers, container), so please take note of the details.

Basically, you initially give them the ship name and cruise dates. Once you provide the info they need (from the email @PACD_JG posted), they take over from there. They will let you know when and from what location the service will be performed. 

 

[XBGuy]

11 minutes ago, PACD_JG said:

Here is a response from HAL from April.

 

 

• Burial at sea of cremated remains can only be done at sea while cruising in International Waters and at least 12 nautical miles off the coastline.
• Containers for the remains (if used), must be provided by the guests and biodegradable.
• Flowers & wreaths that are decomposable in the marine environment may be placed at the burial site.
• An Officer is required by EPA regulations to be present for the spreading of the ashes.
• Holland America does not perform memorial services; however, if the guests would like to have clergy present this can be requested.
• The captain can provide a certificate with the ship’s position and time of the spreading of ashes.
• Guest should contact customs and airlines in regard to any paperwork, certificates or permits that may be needed.

 

 

 

I am surprised that the "Containers for the remains" seems to be optional. 

 

I once read, here on Cruise Critic, that a poster did not bother to contact the cruise line (this one happened to be Princess) about their intent to spread ashes of a loved one.  They just assembled at the stern of the ship, opened the urn with the ashes and poured them over the side.  The wind blew most of the dumped ashes back onto the ship--and the mourners.

 

I would suggest that you procure a biodegradable container, and plan to just drop it into the sea rather that "spreading" the ashes.

[MontanaMiss]

Thank you all very much for your response. I did go on HAL's website and it is very straight forward. I will follow up with all suggestions.

[kazu]

53 minutes ago, MontanaMiss said:

Thank you all very much for your response. I did go on HAL's website and it is very straight forward. I will follow up with all suggestions.

 

I did it this past November on the Oosterdam.  

 

If you use a container, it has to be a special recyclable one that dissolves in the water and does not pollute.  You can just opt to do the ashes which is what I did.

 

I have to say that this is one thing that HAL did very well and respectfully.

 

A section of the promenade deck is closed off for the ceremony.  A priest is available if you want a prayer, etc.

They put my pictures on display and had a lovely flower bouquet.  They told me to go on back to dinner and they would return my pictures and container back to the cabin for me.  When I returned to the cabin, the pictures were displayed around the beautiful flower display.   I was not charged a thing for this service nor was I charged for the flowers.

 

I was very impressed with everything and very appreciative.

 

 

 

[luvteaching]

I'm so glad this question was asked. I want to do this for my husband on a sailing in 2024 to Alaska. I've already talked to the funeral chapel about a small biodegradable container (it will have a hummingbird on it as he loved them) and it sounds like it's all done so well. 

 

Karen

[Susanmaz]

Wow. This is so good to know and nice to see/hear it was done so respectfully.

[MontanaMiss]

Thank you Kazu, what a lovely experience for you, considering. 

We wish for a very simple private ceremony, just two of family members, really want to respect our family member's wishes.

[kazu]

12 minutes ago, MontanaMiss said:

Thank you Kazu, what a lovely experience for you, considering. 

We wish for a very simple private ceremony, just two of family members, really want to respect our family member's wishes.

 

It’s not a problem.  I had 2 dear friends of DD DH and I who wanted to be there and Jose loved, my 2 sisters & BIL’s.  

It’s very private.  there is no intrusion - no one else allowed in.

 

I think as sad as it is, you will be happy with the experience.
 

[kazu]

21 minutes ago, luvteaching said:

I'm so glad this question was asked. I want to do this for my husband on a sailing in 2024 to Alaska. I've already talked to the funeral chapel about a small biodegradable container (it will have a hummingbird on it as he loved them) and it sounds like it's all done so well. 

 

Karen

 

It really was done well Karen.  I’m pretty fussy and when it came to anything in my DD DH’s memory very fussy.  HAL took care of it all.  

 

I was doing the Meet and Greet so just asked the ship co-ordinator about it and didn’t need to do anything else.  Once on board, I was contacted and arrangements made.

 

If it’s something you would like whether it’s all or some of your DD DH’s ashes, do it.  If it is anything like my experience, you will be glad you did.

[colin v]

A fantastic question with fantastic answers. Thank you to everyone for sharing.

 

I half jokingly said to my wife that I wanted to take a final 21 day cruise and drop me off a HMC as the final stop, NOT the first stop.

 

Hopefully, when its my time, this is still an option.

[PACD_JG]

I'll let you know how it goes in just over 2 weeks (Koningsdam, Alaska).  I still need to buy a biodegradable urn that holds enough for two, as my dad's wish was for his ashes to be mixed with my mom's.

Edited July 6, 2023 by PACD_JG

[Haljo1935]

47 minutes ago, kazu said:

I did it this past November on the Oosterdam.  ...

I have to say that this is one thing that HAL did very well and respectfully....

I was very impressed with everything and very appreciative.

 

 

 

Thank you sharing; it looks beautiful.

[Haljo1935]

All of my communication w/HAL gathering info and making arrangements were very respectful; dealt w/same person throughout. 

Although we ultimately did not do it at that time, we will be doing it shortly for 2 Navy vets (parents) and brother. Warms my heart to know they will have a lovely ceremony. 

Thanks @MontanaMiss for asking the question and thank you @kazu for sharing your experience. 

Edited July 6, 2023 by Haljo1935
Typo

[OHCruiser]

Thanks so much for posting this.  I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

I just told my husband that this is for me.  Take me to Alaska or off the coast of Ireland [I'm 75% Irish] and send me off at sunset.  I can't think of anything more comforting, respectful, & aligned with me.

[MisterMatthew]

This is a wonderful topic.  I am, also, glad it was asked.  And, KAZU offered an outstanding response.  Of course.. the loss of a loved one is not a wonderful thing.  But, knowing that the HAL cruise line is well prepared with a process that includes dignity -- that puts a wonderful feeling in my heart!

 

----MisterMatthew

[Haljo1935]

We will be taking my parents (Navy vets) and brother in October and know wherever the selected location will be, is where they're supposed to be.

My husband knows when the time comes for me, he's to take me to AK and let HAL determine where I will debark for the final time.

I appreciate HAL doing this and with such respect as it deserves. 

Thank you all for participating in this thread; it comforts me as I get through the months leading toward my family ceremony and validates I've made the right decision. 

[david,Mississauga]

Thank you to all for the detailed information. A dear friend died a while ago. He and his wife had over 500 days with HAL and our friend's widow would like to have the ashes "buried" at sea from a HAL ship. She has made no enquires so far but I will send her this information. (She is not on CruiseCritic.)

[cruising sister]

Thank you Jacqui,

I want to do this in my GA cruise with both DS and DH ashes. It is nice to hear it went well. 

[kazu]

11 minutes ago, cruising sister said:

Thank you Jacqui,

I want to do this in my GA cruise with both DS and DH ashes. It is nice to hear it went well. 

 

Lorraine - they were very respectful and it was done well.

I decided to read what I wanted at Jose’s Celebration of Life.  I choked up too much then so I did it there. And I choked up again.  In case it is of use…

 

They were very kind to us all and honestly, I have to say HAL did this to the nth degree.  It  was so easy (organizational wise - not easy).  I’m sure you understand.

 

It was moving and well done.  I did have the priest as Jose was Catholic.

I was very grateful for it all.  If this is something you want to do, go for it.  HAL is very respectful.  My tip was refused later when I thanked them.

They told me clearly that this is very important to them for their past cruisers and are committed to helping in these events. 

[HermmyGranger]

If you haven't already procured a container, we used a salt urn for my father. He was in the Coast Guard for 26 years so we had our local CG spread his ashes off the Oregon coast. The urn was actually quite beautiful (it was shaped like a vase and looked like Himalayan pink salt) and completely biodegradable.

[shippmates]

It sounds like HAL does a great job with this.  My husband's last wish was also to be buried at sea on our 50th wedding anniversary celebration on the Queen Mary 2.  It was very hard but Cunard and the  Captain made it a wonderful celebration of our love for each other and our love with the ocean.  The Captain had a beautiful memorial service along with several bouquets of flowers.  I had picked a biodegradable urn at the time of his cremation.  It was so fitting it was a sun setting on the ocean.  Cunard gave me a copy of the service and also a certificate as to where the burial took place.  This also was at no charge to me. 

 

You will be glad you did what your husband wanted.  So sorry for your loss.

[wandrr]

On 7/7/2023 at 2:05 AM, Haljo1935 said:

We will be taking my parents (Navy vets) and brother in October and know wherever the selected location will be, is where they're supposed to be.

My husband knows when the time comes for me, he's to take me to AK and let HAL determine where I will debark for the final time.

I appreciate HAL doing this and with such respect as it deserves. 

Thank you all for participating in this thread; it comforts me as I get through the months leading toward my family ceremony and validates I've made the right decision. 

For those who wish to have US Navy veteran's ashes committed at sea, have a look at https://www.mynavyhr.navy.mil/Support-Services/Casualty/Mortuary-Services/Burial-at-Sea/ . The USN does perform this service.

[Lady Chew]

I did this with Mr Chew's ashes in February, from the Nieuw Statendam.  The staff who helped me were wonderful, very caring.  We had a small group to see him off.  It was shortly after sunset, right over the wake.  

 

They cannot tell you in advance exactly when you can do this.  It depends on the weather & location, in other words, someone on the bridge.  We had about 6 hours notice, which was plenty.  When the GS officer phoned me, she told me I could pick anytime that day between 5 pm and 6:30 am.  I asked if anyone ever did pick 3 am, or some other time during the late night/early morning, and she said yes!  (I did NOT pick that time, Mr Chew & I are neither night owls or early birds, but I imagine those hours might have special meaning for some.)

 

I did have to show them a death certificate and the contract from the funeral home showing the biodegradable urn.  (I also had to show those to TSA when I flew to FLL)