To Tux Or Not To Tux

[Red Rox]

Do you think my 15 year old teenage son will need a jacket on formal night? Could he get away with a button up shirt and a tie on Dawn Princess? I'd rather not buy him a coat he'll never wear again.

Could he get away with wearing a shirt and a tie? Probably. If you invested in a basic navy blazer, are you absolutely sure that he would never wear it again?

You know your son better than I do, but maybe he never wears a jacket because he doesn't have one to wear. IMHO 15 is an age when young men begin to appreciate having an opportunity to dress up and look nice. (Chicks like it too) But if he's never owned a sport coat to wear, how's he gonna know? Have you asked him?

If you shop, you can probably find a nice basic navy blazer for less than $50. If it gives your son a chance to wear 'grown up' clothes, it might be worth more money than you could ever imagine.

[Cachecara]

I can relate to this...

 

All the cruiselines I've sailed with for Alaska ~ Carnival, Princess, Celebrity ~ offer less formal dining on Lido even on formal nights. If you don't dress formal for the evening, you still must be out in 'public' on the ship just to get to Lido, so expectations that everyone will be dressed formally all evening is simply not realistic. Evenings, we often enjoy relaxing on deck and watching the scenery... something that is not comfortable to do while wearing heels and a lightweight wrap.

 

I am not out to ruin someone elses vacation, so...

If we're dining in the dining room, we dress well, though my DH refuses a tuxedo. We are simple farm folks, and no amount of putting on airs will change that, nor do we want to try. If we go to the show prior/post meal, we stay dressed well. If we decide to scenery watch (the reason we sail Alaska to begin with), we want to enjoy the scenery wearing warm clothing, formal night or not.

 

I understand the point of folks looking nice on formal night, but ask also that others understand that many of us are there for different reasons. Some to dress up, some to see the scenery. I will stay out of the dining room and show if I don't dress to the nines, but I won't stay hidden in my room when scenic viewing is to be had on the deck, just because it's formal night.

 

There is give and take... and I think that's expected on all the mass cruiselines sailing Alaska. As for some of the specialty lines, that's a whole different ballgame...

 

You make a very valid point about having to pass through public areas of the ship and not being dressed formally, but still going to a less formal venue.

I remember being on an X cruise and having a spa appointment at 5:30ish. By the time my appointment was over it was after 6. I still remember the looks I got while going discreetly back to my room from the spa! The gym is still open at this time also, as well as the pools. There is no way anyone in either of these venues will be dressed formally! :o Alas, I don't even own formal gymware.

[signora]

Travel-bug: Regarding your teenage son: I see you're in No Cal. Got any thrift shops, Salvation Army stores nearby? Until I started this thread (which I had no idea would cause such controversy) I was planning on hitting our neighborhood Goodwill to look for a navy blazer for my husband. It would certainly make sense to NOT spend a lot of money on a jacket for your son since he'll grow out of it in six weeks--thrift stores, etc. can be great places to find good secondhand clothing. Sometimes a good jacket just needs a little pressing to look great. Good luck!

[Travel-Bug]

Signora and Red Rox- Thank you for your input on the coat for my 15 year old. I asked him, and he said sure Mom I'll wear a coat. Lesson learned...just ask! :D So I may hit a thrift store 1st since he is growing so fast otherwise it will be an investment well spent. Like Red Rox said, the chicks like it too!

[pushing50]

Celebrity, Cunard, Seabourn-All have a formal dress code for the ENTIRE ship after 6:00PM.

 

HAL's website states dress code for "the evening", NOT just dinner.

 

When you book a traditional cruise (HAL, X, Cunard, Seabourn), you signed a contract that you would abide by the rules. The "RULES" include formal dress for the EVENING. So it is you saying to heck with everyone else who is complying with the cruise line's wishes and rules. You make it impossible for the cruise line to provide ME what I PAID for and that is a traditional cruising experience with FORMAL night throughout the ship.

 

There are many cruise lines-something for everyone. I don't cruise on RCCL, Carnival, Princess, NCL, Regent or Oceania due to the fact that formal nights are not very formal, dress code is not enforced or formal night is optional. I pick traditional cruises. I really would like to get what I PAID FOR.

 

I just booked a HAL cruise to Alaska for $500 pp. If HAL lowers it's price to attract me, they get me! I will wear a plain brown sport coat, tie and dress slacks on formal nights (the same outfit both nights:D) and I may get out of the monkey suit after dinner if I'm in the mood. And I won't allow anyone to make me feel bad about it! I plan to wear khakis and polo shirt, or maybe a button down shirt and sweater, to the other dinners. I can't believe I'm letting myself get roped into this same dumb discussion again...

[irc2100]

We cruised Alaska on the Regent (formerly)Seven Seas Mariner, and a Sport jacket/golf shirt was more than adequate. Alaska is about as informal as a place can be, but I guess some ships exist in their own worlds.

[Red Rox]

Signora and Red Rox- Thank you for your input on the coat for my 15 year old. I asked him, and he said sure Mom I'll wear a coat. Lesson learned...just ask! :D So I may hit a thrift store 1st since he is growing so fast otherwise it will be an investment well spent. Like Red Rox said, the chicks like it too!

You just made my day! I am so happy for you AND for your son! Have a wonderful cruise and a great family vacation!:D

[greatam]

We cruised Alaska on the Regent (formerly)Seven Seas Mariner, and a Sport jacket/golf shirt was more than adequate. Alaska is about as informal as a place can be, but I guess some ships exist in their own worlds.

 

Regent has no formal nights on an Alaska cruise.

 

From the Regent website: Dress code for Alaska, Bermuda and Tahiti sailings is Country Club casual

[greatam]

I just booked a HAL cruise to Alaska for $500 pp. If HAL lowers it's price to attract me, they get me! I will wear a plain brown sport coat, tie and dress slacks on formal nights (the same outfit both nights:D) and I may get out of the monkey suit after dinner if I'm in the mood. And I won't allow anyone to make me feel bad about it! I plan to wear khakis and polo shirt, or maybe a button down shirt and sweater, to the other dinners. I can't believe I'm letting myself get roped into this same dumb discussion again...

 

You definitely take great pleasure dissing your fellow passengers. When you paid your $500.00, you agreed to abide by the cruise line's rules. And HAL's RULES state formal clothes:

 

Evening dress falls into two distinct categories; Formal or Smart Casual. Smart Casual can be defined as slacks and sports shirt or sweater for men and skirt or trousers and sweater or blouse for women. T-shirts, swimsuits, tank tops and shorts are not allowed in the restaurants or public areas during the evening hours. On festive Formal evenings, ladies usually wear a cocktail dress or gown and gentlemen usually wear a suit and tie or tuxedo. There are approximately two formal nights per week.

 

"Usually" is just a polite way of stating that a suit and tie or tuxedo is REQUIRED attire for formal night. And to make allowances for ethnic dress.

 

No where does it state that your sportcoat is PROPER attire. Another instance of "dumbing down" the traditional cruise experience.

[signora]

Just to add my 2 +1 cents to this discussion: I think it's fine for people to wear what they feel most comfortable with. Some people feel like dressing up; others don't. A lot of people dressing up does create an atmosphere--one that some see as special, others as stuffy. Last Xmas eve I was on the Star Princess: although everyone was dressed to the nines, it was a great party night and far from stuffy! I did see folks more casually dressed, and it didn't bother me at all. However, on a Norwegian ship (they do, I know, have a more relaxed dress policy) it was disconcerting to see people in flip-flops and shorts when we were in formal wear, particularly because we were so far in the minority. Would we take a Norwegian cruise again? Probably, but I sure wouldn't bring a gown or DH the tux. At least now I know what to expect. There is no black/white answer (no 'formal' pun intended) to this question since it's such a question of personal taste.

[greatam]

There is no black/white answer (no 'formal' pun intended) to this question since it's such a question of personal taste.

 

I know this topic has been beaten to death on all the boards. However, there are DEFINITELY black/white answers for some cruise lines. Cunard, Seabourn, X, HAL are very forthcoming that FORMAL dress is required; NOT semi formal, not sport coats, not Country Club casual. Most even put a little blurb right below the requirements for formal night about RENTING formal wear. If that isn't a hint on what is EXPECTED dress, I don't know what is. Just check out the websites.

 

Watched a big time CEO of a MAJOR Northeastern USA company turned away at the door to Princess Grill dining room on the QE2 (designer jeans, black leather blazer and designer shirt). He made a real stink-even had the hotel services manager and every other mucky mucky on the ship involved. The maitre'd was ADAMANT-dress properly or eat elsewhere. We never saw their party again. Must have eaten in their cabin-they could not disembark. It was a transatlantic crossing.

[halbfl2]

I'll have to agree with Iscanlon. We just got off the Island Princess and I would say her observation of the # wearing tuxes vs. dark suits vs. sport coats and less was about right. Also, a lot of people will dress for dinner and then go to their rooms and dress "down" for the rest of the evening. Therefore, if you meet someone in the hall that's not dressed up, they may have been earlier.

[Splashduo]

I encouraged my guy to rent a tux---more room in the suitcase for my duds!! He's never worn a tux in his life and I think it's about time his Mom got to see him in one and she'll be his other date for dinner! What woman can resist a man in a tux? Very James Bond . . .

[fcorey]

You know you "formal night" people get me. When we go on a cruise, we go for the vacation, the relaxing and just to get away with no demands. We like to cruise so we choose that. We respect the rights of other cruisers to have their formal night, enjoy it and do their thing. We expect them to respect us and the way we choose to spend our evening. .

 

you formal night people??? Berating all those that follow the dress code for an evening, is behaving as badly as the person that treated you rudely. Personally I don't care what others are wearing. If the dress code is specified by the cruise line I'll follow it. Holland America defines their dress code as follows, "Evening dress falls into two distinct categories; Formal or Smart Casual. " The key word there is evening dress. I was told this means the entire evening and all activities. I am not sure if that is correct or if it just applies to the main dining room and shows.

 

I will say however that I see nothing wrong with what you did on your cruise. There are rude people everywhere, not just on cruise lines that have formal nights :o. If you feel so strongly about not wanting to dress ever, there are many cruise lines that have pretty much done away with formal nights, NCL jumps to mind. No one cruise line will be everything to all customers. If you want something more casual you've got lots of choices.

 

I read someplace here about someone feeling it was about putting on airs. I don't see it that way, I'm following the dress code for lack of a better term. As someone who lives on a farm, and also has a corporate job, I never dress up. I work from home, 99% of my time is in jeans and a t-shirt. Dressing up doesn't bother me, my wife always tells me her favorite picture of me was in my Navy dress white uniform! Not sure if its because I'm dressed up or I was a bit thinner then :o

 

For us the formal nights are special, almost date nights for us as we don't get out much. They are also opportunities to get some souvenir pictures of us dressed up an looking nice. Its part of the cruise that we enjoy. So as one of the "formal night" people to someone who prefers not to do the formal nights, if you respect us, I will certainly respect you and wish you a good evening

[Splashduo]

Hi travelbug! While you're hitting the thrift store, check out the board shorts----I just got my son a pair he's been wanting (normally about $50) for $2.50. We were both thrilled. As you say, styles and sizes change so quickly it's nice not to break the bank. I saw lots of coats there. You'll have to look out though, or he'll catch the eye of a cute little gal who'll be chasing him around the decks! We gals can't resist a guy all gussied up and smelling good! LOL

[Travel-Bug]

Hi travelbug! While you're hitting the thrift store, check out the board shorts----I just got my son a pair he's been wanting (normally about $50) for $2.50. We were both thrilled. As you say, styles and sizes change so quickly it's nice not to break the bank. I saw lots of coats there. You'll have to look out though, or he'll catch the eye of a cute little gal who'll be chasing him around the decks! We gals can't resist a guy all gussied up and smelling good! LOL

 

We're heading to the thrift store this week. He's growing so fast his clothes don't last through to the next season! We'll look for board shorts too! Thanks!

[signora]

Hi SplashDuo: I have to say I smiled when I read your post..Yes indeed it's that Bond look gets me every time. Men, take heed of this: after 20 years I thrill to see my guy in a tux. After all, it's only on a cruise I get to see him dressed up like this, handsome as can be! And how often do I get to wear a gown, or go shopping for sparkly shoes? Also, it's a no-brainer for him in terms of getting dressed: no decisions. And obviously, besides the fun, great photo ops. Take care all: have fun dressing, or not dressing...[/i]

[vozzie]

We did Sapphire Princess northbound.

We wore tuxes but were definitely in the minority.

[Splashduo]

Hi Signora----we see eye to eye. It is such fun to have reason to dress out of the normal day to day duds. I feel sad for anyone who can't appreciate that particular thrill. Who wants to live life in the same old same old . . . ? Break loose and be different now and then! Boring is as boring does, you know. I will never fear stepping a little outside my usual boundaries and comfort zones---fun is waiting to happen if you just get the heck out of its way! Break out of your usual mundane habits and cut the heck loose! Stylin'

is a kick! Just don't rent or buy anything too small and it will be comfy as your old standbys, as well as stunning. I love my broken in old jeans, but far be it for me to be a stick in the mud and be set in my old and comfortable ways. Saying, "Sure, why not?" can be a very freeing experience!

[Sugar*Magnolia]

Oh just stumbled on this thread :) Always a touchy topic (for some).

I have to say DH and I look forward to being in the minority on our upcoming sail on RCL!! We are Good with it....VERY GOOD!! Last fitting on my new gown this Wed and DH bought a new vest/tie for his tuxedo that matches my gown.

 

It IS so much fun and we very much look forward to the tradition of Formal night. It is a lot of fun and it is a beautiful sight to see so many folks dressed to the nines. There is nothing wrong with it, but if you dont like to get dressed up go with another option for the evening like Windjammer (on RCL) or room service and a lovely dinner on your balcony or in your cabin. I hope I dont see khaki shorts and beach flip flops in the DR. :eek:

 

I definitely dont mind people walking around in whatever they chose on Formal night, but if you're going to want to have dinner in the dining room then you should respect the dress code, it is a wonderful cruising tradition. I grew up watching my Grandparents pack for their cruises, then being able to board the ship for an in-stateroom Bon Voyage celebration, there is a grandeur to sailing that many just do not understand. :rolleyes:

 

Already bought our DD her Jessica McClintock Red Dress for Christmas

Eve on board Explorer this coming December. :)

 

Whatever you do, be respectful of others and enjoy yourself.

 

(yikes!! Just noticed some definite offensive & unnecessary comments by some...never fails some cant play nice and have to make it all about themselves.)

[signora]

Yea Cruise Diva: you really expressed my sentiments exactly. I traveled on the France and the QE2 when I was a child, with my family--grandeur is the word. On the France it was formal night every night: the dining room was sunken and you entered it via a staircase in the middle much like a model's runway: in other words, you made an entrance. Daunting for an awkward 13 year old. My main remembrance of the QE2, which did not have nearly as elegant a dining room as the France, was being wrapped up in a steamer blanket by a steward, in our assigned deck chairs, and given hot bouillion to sip (it was a transatlantic crossing). As you said, looking out on to a dining room or audience full of dressed up folks somehow begins to recapture some of that glamour and thrill. I'm looking forward to it: sailing in less that 2 weeks on the Island Princess!

[luvs2travl]

You know you "formal night" people get me. When we go on a cruise, we go for the vacation, the relaxing and just to get away with no demands. We like to cruise so we choose that. We respect the rights of other cruisers to have their formal night, enjoy it and do their thing. We expect them to respect us and the way we choose to spend our evening. We don't like the formal dining rooms on regular nights and do not eat there and we certainly do not go on formal nights. Our problem is with the people that think the whole ship should turn formal on those nights and the heck with the people that don't choose to participate. We sailed on the HAL once and that is it. On one of the formal nights we choose to eat on the Lido deck and we went to the movie. We were not around any "formal dining" or bothering the people who chose to go formal for the evening. Leaving the movie we were walking through the ship and a very rude lady behind us made a comment about us not knowing it was "formal night". Needless to say we informed her we would dress the way we wanted and we proceeded on our way. We were in the hall way of the ship. She for one must be a miserable person if we were her main concern, she had no reason to insult us in a crowded hallway. Now if she found us in the dining room in our casual dress she could voice her displeasure to the "powers that be". Why can't everyone just enjoy their curise, go to the things they choose to go to and realize we will pass in the hallways, but if it bothers you that you pass me in the hall and I am casual and you are formal, how shallow are you? I can't imagine never cruising somewhere because of the way others dress on the ship, come on, now if they are are nude, I would agree with you.

 

 

Right On, Bobbie!!

 

Though we DID choose to participate in formal nights, we certainly had no problem with those that did not. Our vacation was for US - not for anyone else, nor we were there trying to impress anyone else! I can truly say that we saw no sour pusses nor did I overhear any insults lobbed at anyone! Most of those that we passed told us how very nice we looked and we appreciated their unsoliciated comments very much! We were three couples hanging out together - 2 of the men wore tuxes - 1 man looked every bit as spiffy in his very stylish sport jacket & tie. We all had a blast!

 

Everyone pays their money - everyone should enjoy their vacation as it applies to them. I read TONS of things about all the inconsiderate smokers on board - we had no problems. I read about the 'waves' of smoke that you are forced to inhale from the balconies of others. Again, we found this to be a non-issue! I read much about unruly children - the ones that we saw onboard were extremely well-behaved and had lovely manners.

 

IMHO it is so unnecessary to make demeaning and disparaging comments of others. Just enjoy your cruise - you will never see most of these people again in your life, so what possible impact can their dress code or manner of expression have in your life over the long haul? Yeah - we had people seated in our dining room that were not formally dressed. Did we spend all dinner giving them the evil eye and talking about their lack of consideration? :confused: Heck, no! We were too busy getting to know each other and planning our activities for the remainder of the cruise!

We enjoy dressing up because we so seldom do - our "real life" is just not conducive to the more formal dress code. It is a treat for us to be able to have the few formal nights and we take that as such - OUR treat - not flaunting some type of lifestyle and looking down our noses at others!

 

Please people - get a grip! If you are fortunate enough to be cruising, count your blessings. We do every day. If you want the "Formal Life" to the max, stick with Cunard or Crystal Lines - very few of us "regular joes" will ever be able to afford to cruise in THAT lap of luxury! ;)

 

Keep Smiling and Happy Cruising!!:D

(Oh yeah - I kind of agree with the "nude" thing, too, Bobbie - I might just have to interject a comment or to about that! LOL! Sounds like you're our kind of people!)

[fcorey]

Though we DID choose to participate in formal nights, we certainly had no problem with those that did not.....

 

IMHO it is so unnecessary to make demeaning and disparaging comments of others. Just enjoy your cruise - you will never see most of these people again in your life, so what possible impact can their dress code or manner of expression have in your life over the long haul?

 

quote]

 

:) What irked me about Bobbie's post was the "you formal night people" like there is something wrong with those that actually follow the dress code as dictated BY THE CRUISE LINE. The person that made the comment to Bobbie should be ashamed of themselves.

 

Like you I could not care any less what someone else in the dining room is wearing. Honestly, does it matter? I was also raised better than to insult someone for what they are wearing, talk about poor manners. I agree, we are very fortunate to be able to have a nice vacation.

The only reason I wear a tux is because my DW bought me one as a gift for our wedding years ago and I still have it. Otherwise I would probably be wearing a simple suit or coat and tie.

However, your comment about Cunard or Crystal being the choice for "formal life" was funny because I know what you mean there. However several lines still do formal nights, some enforce it more than others. Its their policy to enforce, not mine. For that reason, when someone asks is it OK not to dress? I usually say something like sure, you don't have to, you have other options available, but don't throw a tantrum if you are not allowed in the main dining room, then come on CC and rail about how a particular cruise line is horrible because....

I personally saw a guy probably no more than 10 years older than me pitch an absolute fit on Oosterdam because they were not going to let him in the main dining room on a formal night. He made some very nasty comments to the staff, most children that I saw were better behaved than that guy. If you absolutely hate formal nights then there are other choices, some lines are completely informal or formal optional. But don't complain about a policy being enforced when its spelled out all over the cruise line's website and in the material you get with your ticket. You were warned about it.

[luvs2travl]

Though we DID choose to participate in formal nights, we certainly had no problem with those that did not.....

 

IMHO it is so unnecessary to make demeaning and disparaging comments of others. Just enjoy your cruise - you will never see most of these people again in your life, so what possible impact can their dress code or manner of expression have in your life over the long haul?

 

quote]

 

:) What irked me about Bobbie's post was the "you formal night people" like there is something wrong with those that actually follow the dress code as dictated BY THE CRUISE LINE. The person that made the comment to Bobbie should be ashamed of themselves.

 

Like you I could not care any less what someone else in the dining room is wearing. Honestly, does it matter?

I was also raised better than to insult someone for what they are wearing, talk about poor manners. I agree, we are very fortunate to be able to have a nice vacation.

The only reason I wear a tux is because my DW bought me one as a gift for our wedding years ago and I still have it. Otherwise I would probably be wearing a simple suit or coat and tie.

However, your comment about Cunard or Crystal being the choice for "formal life" was funny because I know what you mean there. However several lines still do formal nights, some enforce it more than others. Its their policy to enforce, not mine. For that reason, when someone asks is it OK not to dress? I usually say something like sure, you don't have to, you have other options available, but don't throw a tantrum if you are not allowed in the main dining room, then come on CC and rail about how a particular cruise line is horrible because....

I personally saw a guy probably no more than 10 years older than me pitch an absolute fit on Oosterdam because they were not going to let him in the main dining room on a formal night. He made some very nasty comments to the staff, most children that I saw were better behaved than that guy. If you absolutely hate formal nights then there are other choices, some lines are completely informal or formal optional. But don't complain about a policy being enforced when its spelled out all over the cruise line's website and in the material you get with your ticket. You were warned about it.

 

I completely agree with your comment, and I really don't think Bobbie meant anything disparaging by saying "..you formal night people.."..! I think like many of us CC contributors, she is just up to "here" with being judged in a demeaning way! (w-e-l-l..maybe if the "nude thing" came up LOL)

 

And by the way, I am TOTALLY impressed that you can still wear the tux that your DW gave you for your wedding 'years ago'...! I can promise you that my DH could not possibly fit into HIS his tux that he wore at his wedding years ago! Kudos to you!!! :D

I also agree completely with your statement that it is up to the ship to enforce their policy. Which, conversely, means that it is not up to me or any other passenger to do so. I, for one, cannot imagine standing in line to be seated at any restaurant on board and circumventing the maitre'd's decision to seat a paying passenger(s). If the Cruise Line does not enforce this ---who the heck am I to question how a fellow passenger is allowed to spend his/her dollars, let alone where the waiters decide to/if seat them! ! As previously stated, our trip is for our pleasure and we have yet to let any one else on board dictate how supreme our pleasure will be. I can say on our cruise, though there WERE passengers not dressed formally on Formal Nights in the dining rooms, they seemed to be seated in one section, and those dressed formally were seated more-or-less together in another section. Not a problem for anyone in our group!

 

As previously stated, sit back...relax ....enjoy! Life is short - expect the best. You will usually get it! :)

fcorey -hope to meet you soon on another wonderful cruise! Sounds like we're the same sort of folks!

 

Haapy Cruising! :D

[Jstringers]

On the other hand....I dess business casual everyday of the year and I enjoy gt oing on vacation for one week and dressing up! I bought my first tux for this years cruise on the Island Princess and I am so looking forward to wearing it.

 

Honestly though, I could really care less about what others wear, it doesn't effect me. The lines have their rules...follow them, be respectful, and have fun.

 

We spend a lot of money to cruise, why in the world would you let what someone else wears effect your vacation!