Fashion/MissManners type question

[Kan't Wait]

A very wise woman who was in the public eye once told me the best way to respond to questions that don't deserve a response is to grin and say, "why, are you writing a book?" and then throw your head back and laugh. Stops people dead every time, and rarely offends.

 

Don't forget to add "Well you can leave this chapter out" ;)

[Jane110]

Jane, you're not lying when people ask if that's your natural hair color, because it really is. Now, if they ask you if you color your hair, and you say no, that's lying, but since red is your natural born color, it's not at all lying to say, "why yes, this is the color I was born with".

 

 

Very true. Thanks.

[Curt Jerome Wild]

Hey fellow CC Fashion Board members:

 

I'd love some feedback on how you would handle this situation...

 

I'm a natural redhead. Blessed with a beautiful shade of coppery red hair. Even as a kid, I got tons of compliments on it.

 

When I hit my 20's, people would ask the rude question, "Is it your natural color?" After telling them how invasive I thought their question was, I told them, Yes, it was my natural color.

 

So now, I hit the 40+ mark and have a few grey's. My hair colorist colors them away in a shade that's as close to my natural shade as possible. Well, it's unbelieveable to me that people, who should know better by this stage in life, still will ask "Is that your natural color?". How utterly rude. And I just don't know how to respond.

 

To say, "oh yes, it's my natural color, but I have my stylist cover a few grays", is not only too long an answer, but frankly none of their damn business.

 

I can't just say "yes", because I'm not a liar. Besides, to someone "in the know", they can tell I've got color in my hair. So I'd look like a lying idiot.

 

Once, I was so annoyed, I replied by asking the woman (who was rather full breasted) if she had implants. She got the message. But I'd really rather not be so "in your face". (heck, some people here think I'm too "in your face" already,so no desire to do it in person! LOL!)

 

So, how do you let the idiots know how rude they are? How do I answer? If I say something to the effect of "it's none of your business" then it's like saying, "it's not my natural color" when, for the most part, it is my natural color. Besides, it's hostile and they'll think about my hostile remark rather than about their rude remark.

 

Oh, and for the record, it's so close to my natural color that my husband never noticed any change. But about 3 months ago, a friend who simply assumed my hair was colored (and that DH knows all my beauty secrets) asked me, in front of DH, who my colorist was because she did such a great job on red hair. DH looked at me with a "you color your hair?" look and then asked me again when we got home how long I'd been coloring my hair.

 

So ladies, how would you answer these boors? This is really perplexing me.

 

Oh and there's a part two also:

 

There are people who can tell (or just assume) that my hair is colored and will say, "I LOVE your color! Who colors your hair?"

 

So, I need answers for both questions.

 

Thanks!

Jane

Alright Jane110!

I have a moment to notice this and respond (and you are cracking me up in the best way woman!):D

First of all you have great hair! And I (and you know that I know these things) didn't ever think for a second that you had any coloring on it (if anything I thought you had a great clear shiny cellophane or something), but in no way shape or form, does your hair look anything except wonderfully natural!

(To anyone reading this, Jane110's hair color is so naturally coppery auburn/red that it can't be dyed that color - so I'm agreeing with her description of her hair color/tone)...;)

Secondly, (agreeing with some previous posters) but also knowing that you are a "stickler" for honesty...

It is absolutely and completely your natural hair color!

You just say...

"Yes it is! Thanks to my parents/genetics and any "genetic family stress" for the "highlights"!

You're good to go, and you've answered all of the questions.

So just say a big "Thank you! I'm appreciative of my genetics!"

CJW

:cool:

[Andee]

I don't think you owe people who would ask such a rude, personal question the truth or any answer at all.

 

Perhaps Miss Manners might suggest looking suitably shocked at being asked such a question, giving a mysterious smile, and changing the topic.

 

Or you could look startled, gasp, and say something like, "Oh, goodness, I'm so sorry, I must have misunderstood you--for a moment I thought you asked if my hair color is real--but you couldn't possibly have..."

[Jane110]

I don't think you owe people who would ask such a rude, personal question the truth or any answer at all.

 

Perhaps Miss Manners might suggest looking suitably shocked at being asked such a question, giving a mysterious smile, and changing the topic.

 

Or you could look startled, gasp, and say something like, "Oh, goodness, I'm so sorry, I must have misunderstood you--for a moment I thought you asked if my hair color is real--but you couldn't possibly have..."

 

Andee,

 

Thanks! I like this reply, a lot. Says it all.

Appreciate your feedback.

[GORDONCHICK]

I have one son who is 28 and recently married and way back in the late 70s when he was born I knew that I did not want any more than one child.

 

When my son was about 2 or 3 I had a relative ask me when I was planning on having another child. I said that I wasn't having any more children and

was told.."Shame on you..you can't have only one!!" I was dumbfounded that someone would say that.

 

Pam

 

I get this too, and I just respond that one blessing is all I can handle! They have no idea what all I went through during pregnancy, and my OB/GYN actually joked about firing me as a patient if I wanted to do that again! I told him I was way ahead of him.

[Jane110]

Alright Jane110!

I have a moment to notice this and respond (and you are cracking me up in the best way woman!):D

First of all you have great hair! And I (and you know that I know these things) didn't ever think for a second that you had any coloring on it (if anything I thought you had a great clear shiny cellophane or something), but in no way shape or form, does your hair look anything except wonderfully natural!

(To anyone reading this, Jane110's hair color is so naturally coppery auburn/red that it can't be dyed that color - so I'm agreeing with her description of her hair color/tone)...;)

 

Secondly, (agreeing with some previous posters) but also knowing that you are a "stickler" for honesty...

It is absolutely and completely your natural hair color!

 

You just say...

"Yes it is! Thanks to my parents/genetics and any "genetic family stress" for the "highlights"!

You're good to go, and you've answered all of the questions.

So just say a big "Thank you! I'm appreciative of my genetics!"

 

CJW

:cool:

 

Thanks for the come-back lines as well as the compliments! So, now you know more than DH, but you have to promise to keep it a secret! LOL!

 

Oh and I think we should let the cat out of the bag and let everyone know that us two fashionista's met up in NY recently for a fab gab! :cool:

 

Gotta tell ya' girls, Curt's even cuter in person than his avator. He dresses in a most tres adorable style - only himself could wear a pair long shorts, a tie and work it so well!! Oh and he's got great hair too! :)

[momofmeg]

Hey fellow CC Fashion Board members:

I'd love some feedback on how you would handle this situation...

I'm a natural redhead. Blessed with a beautiful shade of coppery red hair. Even as a kid, I got tons of compliments on it.

When I hit my 20's, people would ask the rude question, "Is it your natural color?" After telling them how invasive I thought their question was, I told them, Yes, it was my natural color.

So now, I hit the 40+ mark and have a few grey's. My hair colorist colors them away in a shade that's as close to my natural shade as possible. Well, it's unbelieveable to me that people, who should know better by this stage in life, still will ask "Is that your natural color?". How utterly rude. And I just don't know how to respond.

To say, "oh yes, it's my natural color, but I have my stylist cover a few grays", is not only too long an answer, but frankly none of their damn business.

I can't just say "yes", because I'm not a liar. Besides, to someone "in the know", they can tell I've got color in my hair. So I'd look like a lying idiot.

Once, I was so annoyed, I replied by asking the woman (who was rather full breasted) if she had implants. She got the message. But I'd really rather not be so "in your face". (heck, some people here think I'm too "in your face" already,so no desire to do it in person! LOL!)

So, how do you let the idiots know how rude they are? How do I answer? If I say something to the effect of "it's none of your business" then it's like saying, "it's not my natural color" when, for the most part, it is my natural color. Besides, it's hostile and they'll think about my hostile remark rather than about their rude remark.

Oh, and for the record, it's so close to my natural color that my husband never noticed any change. But about 3 months ago, a friend who simply assumed my hair was colored (and that DH knows all my beauty secrets) asked me, in front of DH, who my colorist was because she did such a great job on red hair. DH looked at me with a "you color your hair?" look and then asked me again when we got home how long I'd been coloring my hair.

So ladies, how would you answer these boors? This is really perplexing me.

Oh and there's a part two also:

There are people who can tell (or just assume) that my hair is colored and will say, "I LOVE your color! Who colors your hair?"

So, I need answers for both questions.

Thanks!

Jane

 

 

Jane I would simply say it WAS my natural color but now I have to enhance it. Even if not for the gray, most red heads tend to "fade" over time. My mom had few gray hairs as she got older but her hair which was a rich bright auburn was almost brown in her later years. Mom always "enhanced' her hair. The last few weeks of her life she was in the hospital or housebound and hated she did not have her hair "enhanced" as she did monthly. After she died at 71, we had the funneral home do that for her as we knew that would have made Mom happy.

 

Meg's hair is a light auburn but she dislikes the color-she would like to have been a true redhead or else strawberry blond so Meg darkens her hair regularly. She did highlight it for some time and added the blond streaks but she decided she prefered just to be REALLY red. It becomes her with her porcelian skin and blue eyes. Most people think it is natural too.

[sierraN]

I'm also a redhead and have had to deal with the exact same thing - I could have written Jane's post. Most natural redheads have other traits that go along with the red hair - fair skin, blue or green eyes. I always make a joke out of it and respond with, "yeah...sure...and I changed my skin tone and eye color to match! If your asking me if I'm a redhead, then the answer is, yes. So watch out...you know what they say about our tempers.

[linda_22003]

I have to have highlighting to get the same color that used to be mine "naturally". When someone says to me, "Is that your color?" I say, pleasantly, "I paid over a hundred bucks for it; that makes it mine."

[momofmeg]

I'm also a redhead and have had to deal with the exact same thing - I could have written Jane's post. Most natural redheads have other traits that go along with the red hair - fair skin, blue or green eyes. I always make a joke out of it and respond with, "yeah...sure...and I changed my skin tone and eye color to match! If your asking me if I'm a redhead, then the answer is, yes. So watch out...you know what they say about our tempers.

 

I believe it too! Boy Meg can get angry and don't get me started on my poor Mom! I just wish she was still here to fuss with!

[GreytRacer]

This post has reminded me of the many amazing things people have said to me over the years:

 

*** "You're so skinny (said with deep disgust). Are you anorexic?"

 

*** "Where were you and your husband just now (said at a party, after we were in another room admiring some artwork)? Were you both in the bathroom throwing up?" (He's thin as well.)

 

*** "Do you have kids? (answer "no") Why not?"

 

*** "Your name's Geri? Is it short for Geraldine (said with the same deep disgust as 'skinny') Geri's a boy's name"

 

I like to think I'm fairly quick, but my response to these repeated questions is always the same:

 

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Huh?"

 

Because I just can't believe the things people say! :eek:

[klct39lg]

I'm also a redhead and have had to deal with the exact same thing - I could have written Jane's post. Most natural redheads have other traits that go along with the red hair - fair skin, blue or green eyes. I always make a joke out of it and respond with, "yeah...sure...and I changed my skin tone and eye color to match! If your asking me if I'm a natural redhead, then the answer is, yes. So watch out...you know what they say about our tempers.

 

I think the above would be a great response.

 

I have also always been thin, and I get, "Do you ever eat?" I say, "No, never."

[momofmeg]

This post has reminded me of the many amazing things people have said to me over the years:

 

*** "You're so skinny (said with deep disgust). Are you anorexic?"

 

:eek:

 

That is the hateful one that Meg gets-no one ever question her hair color though! and she does enhance the red!

[esther e]

Jane, why not say "My natural haircolor is blue/green, but I got tired of it, so decided to go coppery." And ladies, we don't color our hair; we enhance it. I'm lucky enough to still at my age be blond but have highlights; only problem is the gray in front doesn't hold "enhancement." And I love the contrast.

[Soxfan05]

This post has reminded me of the many amazing things people have said to me over the years:

 

*** "You're so skinny (said with deep disgust). Are you anorexic?"

 

*** "Where were you and your husband just now (said at a party, after we were in another room admiring some artwork)? Were you both in the bathroom throwing up?" (He's thin as well.)

 

*** "Do you have kids? (answer "no") Why not?"

 

*** "Your name's Geri? Is it short for Geraldine (said with the same deep disgust as 'skinny') Geri's a boy's name"

 

I like to think I'm fairly quick, but my response to these repeated questions is always the same:

 

"uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Huh?"

 

Because I just can't believe the things people say! :eek:

 

Your post has me in stitches! When I read Jane's post all the ridiculous comments people have made to me over the years came flooding back.

 

Here are my favorites:

 

When are you going to start trying to have a baby?

 

"When we start having sex for a purpose, other than pleasure, we'll let you know!"

 

Questions about my twins:

"Did you take fertility drugsor have invitro?"

 

"No, we had sex."

"No, I stood in front of the microwave too much."

 

 

 

I think with all of today's reality t.v. shows, people don't understand the boundaries of social decorum. It's just nuts.

[Soxfan05]

I know that some of you feel it's a compliment but I don't. Saying, "you have pretty hair" is a compliment, asking "is that your natural color or do you dye it?" isn't. I'm happy to say to someone, "you look great in that dress, what a nice figure you have", but I'd never say, "have you had lipsuction or breast implants?". There's a difference! LOL!

 

Thanks all. I appreciate the responses!

 

Jane

 

I see your point. No one seems to realize there are certain boundaries in polite society. I'm sure some women would gladly answer the question about liposuction or implants- heck, they'd probably be willing to have it done on live t.v.! :D Sad but true.

 

Let us know how your new sassy responses are received.

[GreytRacer]

I see your point. No one seems to realize there are certain boundaries in polite society. I'm sure some women would gladly answer the question about liposuction or implants- heck, they'd probably be willing to have it done on live t.v.! :D Sad but true.

 

Let us know how your new sassy responses are received.

 

Watch out when you ask about breast implants. Every woman I've ever known who has had them could not wait to pull up their shirts and show me! :eek: And no, I didn't ask to see them or ask them if they had them, they just showed me!

 

Of course, this was mostly back in the '80's and you know how wild it was back then...:rolleyes:

[Jane110]

I'm also a redhead and have had to deal with the exact same thing - I could have written Jane's post. Most natural redheads have other traits that go along with the red hair - fair skin, blue or green eyes. I always make a joke out of it and respond with, "yeah...sure...and I changed my skin tone and eye color to match! If your asking me if I'm a redhead, then the answer is, yes. So watch out...you know what they say about our tempers.

 

I have dark brown eyes, unusual for a redhead. (w/a few flecks of copper in them) However, my skin is definitely that typical redhead, pale shade of white which gets pink then freckles right before I faint from sunstroke! LOL!

[Jane110]

I see your point. No one seems to realize there are certain boundaries in polite society. I'm sure some women would gladly answer the question about liposuction or implants- heck, they'd probably be willing to have it done on live t.v.! :D Sad but true.

 

Let us know how your new sassy responses are received.

 

 

Lol! I'll keep you posted.

 

Actually, I love to hear about other people's cosmetic enhancements. I find it fascinating. However, I put big boundaries about asking someone about it outright. It's none of my business unless they want to talk about it. Then, I'm all ears! :)

 

I recently re-connected with a friend I lost touch with for a few years and when I saw her I could see that she had breast implants. Even though she was a friend I would never say anything. But within two hours, not only did she tell me all about them, but had to "play show and tell" too!

[LoriLinay]

Jane, I have the same problem. I'm 47 and have never had (knock on wood) a grey hair. My hair is a honeyish blond with natural highlights. Last time I went to get my hair cut, the woman in the chair next to me said to my hairdresser "Can you make my hair the color your did hers?" And he said (do the visual) with hand on hip and wrist a flyin and a little bit of a southern accent..."Oh, honey, only the good Lordie above and do that kind of magic..." It was so funny. Whenever "some" woman hear me say that it's my natural color, they get downright nasty. I've been called a liar more than once.

 

Also, after my second child was born, 16 years ago, I went from an A cup to a C. Then I gained some weight and now lug around a very full D cup. Because they are "new", gravity never really took effect so they are up there like a 25 year olds. At least once a month, I'm asked who did them. I say "my daughter".... Nobody has ever asked anything more.

 

And what about people touching your belly when you are pregnant??? What's up with THAT???

[ute_fan]

My Mom, who's now 90 with totally white hair, started off life as a blond. When she was in her 50's and 60's she had beautiful silver hair -- totally natural. She used to have people walk into her hairdresser and say "I want mine the color of the lady who just walked out" and when the hairdresser tried to explain that hers was natural, those customers invariably got irritated and felt that she was just getting some "secret" treatment.

 

If you're just doing minor touchups to cover the gray, I'd just tell the idiots who ask that it's natural with a few highlights, and let it go at that.

[Jane110]

My Mom, who's now 90 with totally white hair, started off life as a blond. When she was in her 50's and 60's she had beautiful silver hair -- totally natural. She used to have people walk into her hairdresser and say "I want mine the color of the lady who just walked out" and when the hairdresser tried to explain that hers was natural, those customers invariably got irritated and felt that she was just getting some "secret" treatment.

 

If you're just doing minor touchups to cover the gray, I'd just tell the idiots who ask that it's natural with a few highlights, and let it go at that.

 

Thanks, I like that one too!

[Jane110]

Jane, I have the same problem. I'm 47 and have never had (knock on wood) a grey hair. My hair is a honeyish blond with natural highlights. Last time I went to get my hair cut, the woman in the chair next to me said to my hairdresser "Can you make my hair the color your did hers?" And he said (do the visual) with hand on hip and wrist a flyin and a little bit of a southern accent..."Oh, honey, only the good Lordie above and do that kind of magic..." It was so funny. Whenever "some" woman hear me say that it's my natural color, they get downright nasty. I've been called a liar more than once.

 

Unbelievable!

 

 

 

And what about people touching your belly when you are pregnant??? What's up with THAT???

 

Obviously the same crowd that would go up to a woman with a little tummy and ask IF she's pregnant!!!:eek:

[KLLund]

The enhancements made me think of my own nip n tuck ...

 

A few years ago I had an eye and brow lift .. now this was really a drastic change and to this day the Dr says he has never seen anyone more in need of it ..

 

People that knew me would say .. "My you look rested Did you just get back from a cruise ".. lets face it ..it was obvious that he had taken about a pound of bags out from under and over the eys .. but the politeness was funny too .. so I would respond .. Yes I had some time to relax while I recovered from an eye lift ... peoples faces were pretty funny . but everyone wanted details !!!