Problem roommate..

[pcur]

I have raised two sons. The 19 - 22 age range is really weird, so I know what you are talking about. They can get really nasty around that age.

 

I agree that you should NOT take on any extra financial burden because of his behavior. He probably wants to get away from you as much as you want to get away from him.

 

Here's what I see:

 

If you fly, don't sit next to him, and if you do, read a book. If you drive, YOU do the driving, so you can ignore him. Turn on some good music or an audio book. He'll probably listen to his iPod the whole way, anyway.

 

Keep busy on board the ship, and if he's a late sleeper, just get up and go. Take your book and stuff with you for the day. You'll find lots of people to visit with.

 

Book shore excursions without him, and that's also a good way to meet other people.

 

He will probably not want to eat in the dining room, so get yourselves seated at a large table with lots of other people to buffer the conversation. He may not show up at all.

 

He will probably stay out late, so "be asleep" when he comes in. Take a sleep mask with you, so he won't wake you up.

 

You will barely see him except maybe in the room a few times.

 

If you ignore him, he will probably feel bad about his behavior and come around to you. It's the pushing at them that gets them defensive. My oldest was that way: ignore him and he was apologizing in 2 minutes.

 

Good luck and have fun!!

[BillOh]

Wierd double post that time.

[BillOh]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but you didn't say who paid for the cruise, but with it that close, you can't cancel anyway, so he can't pull the room out from you financially.

[land lover]

It's just I was so excited to be going and I hate to let this take the wind out of my sails. But I guess you all are right.. I'll just go and try to enjoy myself.. and I'm sure our schedules will be quiet different :) and maybe he'll soften up over the next few days. I'm sure it will be fine, just wondered if anyone knew of any remedies if it doesn't get better once we're on the ship. I can't handle any more stress :)

 

 

Kids and "young adults" have a way of doing that, taking the wind out of our sails and causing us stress. He will soften up, you might even get an apology...Have a great time..........

[Spender Nui]

I haven't read all the replies yet, but you didn't say who paid for the cruise, but with it that close, you can't cancel anyway, so he can't pull the room out from you financially.

 

You can always cancel under 100% penalty. Just won't get a refund.

[firefly333]

wow. I travelled with a disabled lady last cruise and had told her she could go with us next year and Im reneging. I told her to cancel, I didnt want to be around her. She complained all the time, started fights, blamed me when she forgot things, used her diabetes constantly to manipulate me into giving her attention I didnt want to give her, like oh she was dizzy and needed me to hold onto her the whole way to her cabin, or she was going to just sit down on her walker (which had a seat) and we could stand there and wait on her. She wouldnt go anywhere by herself (she said she has osteroperosis so she is afraid of falling). I had no idea she was that bad until I had to be around her. She isnt my friend, she is a friend to my sister, so I was only around her a little before the cruise.

 

Now she wouldnt agree to leave me alone. Said if she was me, she would forgive her and give her another chance. First when she started in why it was my fault she started fights, I hung up on her, said I warned her Im not dealing with her BS any more. So she tried to get my sister to make me call her. Then she talked to my mom and told her I hung up on her, so I needed to call her, she couldnt call me, would my mom pass on the message to have me call her, so she did. I say no way. so then she sent me a note addressed to me, saying to please call her and clear up if I was still going to take her. I called her and said no again, and couldnt get her off the phone with excuses. She said she didnt know I was angry with her when she was starting a dumb fight in the theater on the ship. I told her I was going to take my sister and not sit with her or see her for the rest of the cruise. I was pacing back and forth saying things like I was giving her fair warning, if she couldnt drop her petty fights with me, then I was going to make sure she never had a chance to do this again, etc. .... and she says she had no idea I was upset, figured I would get over it. This woman lives in la la land. One of the arguments was over me saying our waiter or was playing around with us looked younger than her, she is 66 and he said he was 33, but looked 25, and she was hurt because she honestly thinks she looks younger than that. Said people all the time dont know who is the mother or the daughter, tell her she looks younger than her daughter (she apparantly takes them seriously).

 

..... and this woman is going to keep on and on with me trying to get me to take her on a cruise again. I dont plan on giving in, she ruined my last cruise, why would I let her do it again.

 

Us older people can have just as many problems. I knew she was disabled, but didnt know she wouldnt do anything on her own and would claim to be so helpless.

 

Sorry OP, sometimes you get into a position like this and just have to make lemons out of lemonaide and learn not to do it again.

[booze brothers]

If you have discussed the problem with him with no luck, then it's time to go about your merry way like nothing is wrong. Smile, talk, do whatever but don't kiss up to him. Some people love it when they know they can get under your skin.

 

Have a great cruise. It'll all work out.

[DrivesLikeMario]

I would think that if you moved to a room by yourself you would have to pay a hefty "single supplement."

 

That is exactly right. And, IF you were lucky enough to have another cabin to chose from once onboard (very rare), then you'd be paying full brochure fare too.

 

If you're not happy with the person, handle it NOW. If you need another cabin, book it now. Don't try to change later.

[frince]

Well, if you're paying for his cruise, tell him you've canceled. Then go on your own. When you go to board, tell them you don't know where he is and let the ship leave without him. Of course, then you will have paid for the cruise for 2. But you get the room and cruise to yourself. Or even better, just tell him he CAN'T go! He can stay home and sulk.

 

Of course, if you didn't pay for his trip, then I guess the above probably won't work. Unless he's REALLY gullible. LOL

 

Erika

 

Birdylady

you da man ROTFLMAO

 

I well remember what an obnoxious little p**** I was as an adolescent :o

 

so much so that my two boys were nothing by comparison. :rolleyes:

 

There is only one thing he needs to fix him,

and he may find it on a cruise,

but I can't tell you what it is in polite company. ;)

 

Op have a ball.....you deserve it :cool:

[wr813]

To play the devils advocate here, what if. . ... It is the 48 year old aunt who is actually the problem??????:eek: We all know the overbearing aunt. The OP never really said the exact problem. Just said that there was a problem. Me thinks there is more to the story.

[Luv4dacruise]

To play the devils advocate here, what if. . ... It is the 48 year old aunt who is actually the problem??????:eek: We all know the overbearing aunt. The OP never really said the exact problem. Just said that there was a problem. Me thinks there is more to the story.

 

OMG...Aunt Janet....(Hope she doesn't read these boards) :p

[babyher]

You people are all wayyyyyyyyy better folks than i am

 

The older I get the lower my saturation level gets for drama and BS.

 

If you think you are gonna spoil my day with your whining (let alone my vacation) you are sadly mistaken.

 

Go and enjoy your vacation, if the kid wants to pout all week fine, if he wants to mope all week, have at it, just tell him to leave you out of it.

 

My new attitude has gotten me the nickname "Tin Man" (No heart) by a few people. *LOL*

 

I tell them its the only way to deal with all the Scarecrows (No Brains)

[sea-cruise]

I have raised two sons. The 19 - 22 age range is really weird, so I know what you are talking about. They can get really nasty around that age.

LOL !!! The 65 year age range is really weird too, and they can get really nasty as well. I flew to Florida to meet my childhood friend, and we went on a cruise.

Your following advice is exactly what I ended up following.

I wondered why she had so much bottled water in her luggage. After being her "target" for a couple of days I discovered that she had removed all the water and the bottles were filled with vodka.

The week was spent with her saying things like,

"That's for me to know, and you to find out" when I asked her any simple question.

Most nights she didn't want to go to dinner, but thankfully we had table for 8 so I had plenty of friendly people to converse with.

I kept my distance, was friendly to her, but I couldn't wait to get back home. :o

 

 

Here's what I see:

 

If you fly, don't sit next to him, and if you do, read a book. If you drive, YOU do the driving, so you can ignore him. Turn on some good music or an audio book.

I did this when we drove from her house to the port.

 

Keep busy on board the ship, and if he's a late sleeper, just get up and go. Take your book and stuff with you for the day. You'll find lots of people to visit with.

Great advice....I did this too.

 

Book shore excursions without him, and that's also a good way to meet other people.

Ah...you guessed it...I did this as well.

 

He will probably not want to eat in the dining room, so get yourselves seated at a large table with lots of other people to buffer the conversation. He may not show up at all.

Yikes...You know my friend better than I ever did.:eek:

 

He will probably stay out late, so "be asleep" when he comes in. Take a sleep mask with you, so he won't wake you up.

OMG...you should be a counselor.

 

You will barely see him except maybe in the room a few times.

The few times I did see her I think I must have looked like a deer in the headlights....Afraid to make a move.

 

If you ignore him, he will probably feel bad about his behavior and come around to you.

She did apologize when the cruise ended. She said she knew she probably ruined my vacation and she knows she got nasty for no reason.

I was SO happy to get on the plane heading NORTH again! :D

[ladysail2]

I guess we all have 'that' kind of roommate....Mine liked to start her drinking at about 2pm....but she was good at it....you'd never know....she got a little nasty about things..insisted that you go to dinner with her...because she liked to be 'served'....then when she was ready to sleep....at 9pm...it was everyone's time to turn off all the lights, tv, etc...so she could sleep (off the booze, I guess). Then when she got up...everyone had to get up.....

 

During a 14 day cruise...we counted about 6-8 big bottles being 'enjoyed' by her. Oh well...if she keeps drinking like that...and I'll never know....she has bigger problems than being an obnoxious roommate!

 

Hope you find a way to enjoy your cruise.....let us know how it turns out!!

[yosemiteSam]

Took a lady i had talked with for a year or so, on a Med. cruise last Oct. A good idea NOT. my bad . But I did not do as somebody said - go have fun, dumb me ! Let her drag me down. Am going with another lady in a week to the Med. again, and I will have fun with her or without her ! Of coarse i do hope with her.....

[ricntina]

I wasn't going to suggest going quite that far, but it did cross my mind. :D

Aubie

Aubie:

So soon you seem to forget. Don't you remember telling Tina to do just that to me? :mad: Sure am glad she didn't listen to you.:rolleyes:

Rick

[fridaythe13th]

To play the devils advocate here, what if. . ... It is the 48 year old aunt who is actually the problem??????:eek: We all know the overbearing aunt. The OP never really said the exact problem. Just said that there was a problem. Me thinks there is more to the story.

 

48 yo Aunt and 21 yo nephew = HORMONES.... Neither one of them think anything is wrong. :eek:

[frince]

48 yo Aunt and 21 yo nephew = HORMONES.... Neither one of them think anything is wrong. :eek:

 

 

OK so I admit it :o

 

I fancied my aunt

she was gorgeous :)

and taught me much

 

( Summer the first time...?) :p

 

no.....nothing like that ;)

 

just taught me how to ..................grow up? :cool: