My Fiance refuses to unpack his suitcase on the cruise! Anyone with same problem?

[heatherandfred]

Yes. He leaves his clothes in his suitcase for the duration of the trip. I usually wind up dragging his clothes out and hanging them up, because I'm so tired of tripping on the suitcase whenever he pulls it out.

 

Is this normal? He tells me that he doesn't like to take the clothes out and put them in the drawers because they're "unclean." Um...I carry a can of Lysol with me always. :rolleyes:

[Gathina]

No disrespect meant here, but really..he's a big boy and if he wants to live that way why let it bother you.

 

Welcome to marriage..the first of millions of issues that you are not going to like and have to decide if it's a battle worth fighting..LOL:eek:

 

Yes. He leaves his clothes in his suitcase for the duration of the trip. I usually wind up dragging his clothes out and hanging them up, because I'm so tired of tripping on the suitcase whenever he pulls it out.

 

Is this normal? He tells me that he doesn't like to take the clothes out and put them in the drawers because they're "unclean." Um...I carry a can of Lysol with me always. :rolleyes:

[phoenix1181]

Congratulations!

 

Looks like you've got two choices here. Do it yourself or find a way to deal with it. BUT................ IMHO, the choices you make at the beginning of your marriage are what you're going to live with for the next forty or fifty years so think long and hard about which route you want to take.

[celle]

Yes. He leaves his clothes in his suitcase for the duration of the trip. I usually wind up dragging his clothes out and hanging them up, because I'm so tired of tripping on the suitcase whenever he pulls it out.

 

Is this normal? He tells me that he doesn't like to take the clothes out and put them in the drawers because they're "unclean." Um...I carry a can of Lysol with me always. :rolleyes:

 

Oh Heather! If you unpack for him, you have started on the downward spiral of waiting on your man! He's an adult - let him do things for himself.

 

No matter what you think now, you won't change him. Accept him as he is. 38 years of marriage have taught me that.

 

They are his clothes and it is his suitcase. If he wants to keep his clothes in the suitcase, leave him alone to do just that.

 

Just make sure he knows that you expect him to leave the suitcase somewhere you won't trip over it!

[Keith1010]

His excuse is a great one. Doesn't want to get the clothes dirty. I've not heard that one before.

 

I just can't imagine keeping all the clothes in his luggage for the duration of the cruise. Why don't you let him try this the next time you cruise and see if by midway through the cruise he doesn't unpack it.

 

Followup question. Who packs his bag to begin with?

 

Keith

[uppitycats]

I've been married for 42 years and concur. He won't likely change his ways, and he IS an adult. If he doesn't want to unpack, he's not going to do it, and probably is resentful of you doing it for him. About the best you can negotiate is that the suitcase isn't left somewhere where you'll trip over it. Sometimes you can slide the suitcase under the bed. We generally do that and fill it with dirty clothes as we go..he could do that and then slide it out when he wants to rummage through it for a change of clothes.

[ROZO'SBEAU]

Your Fiance sounds a little OC. Don'tcha think?

[G'ma]

Yes. He leaves his clothes in his suitcase for the duration of the trip. I usually wind up dragging his clothes out and hanging them up, because I'm so tired of tripping on the suitcase whenever he pulls it out.

 

Is this normal? He tells me that he doesn't like to take the clothes out and put them in the drawers because they're "unclean." Um...I carry a can of Lysol with me always. :rolleyes:

 

Stop tripping on his suitcase, step over it.

 

Is he a little kid that his "mama" has to clean up after him?

 

Remember this....and take it from someone a lot older than you....they don't change after you marry them. If he is so immature that he can't keep his suitcase full of clothing put away so people don't trip over it, then you'll be picking up after him the rest of your life.

 

Put your foot down.....tell him to keep the floor clean and uncluttered and let him pick up his own mess.

[shaklee3]

I never unpack my suitcase on cruises. My wife gets mad too, but there's no use unpacking when you just pack it again at the end.

[paul929207]

Women marry men hoping they will change, but they don't.

Men marry women hoping they won't change, but they do.

[alicam]

How do you spell OCD?

[Ninjachyck]

If he doesn't want to unpack, who cares? Just tell him you'd appreciate it if he'd keep his clutter/suitcase out of the "walkways" in the room so no one is tripping over it :)

I only hang a few items up, and the rest stay in my suitcase. It's just the way I'm used to doing it! In our case, it's my hubby that fully unpacks!

[RetireeWannabee]

Let it be. So long as you aren't tripping over it, this is not a battle I would engage in. Others have given you great advice and I will add one teeny extra: operant conditioning. Reward behaviors you would like repeated, Ignore behaviors you do not want repeated.

 

And from the workplace: if you do the job once to help out, it could very well become Your Job.

 

Tread carefully.

 

Meanwhile, get him some packing bags so he can transfer his stuff IN BAGS to the drawers. This will tell you if it's really that "the drawers are dirty" or if it's really "I just don't want to."

[madelinerose]

His choice, his issue....move on. ;)

[shelli1571]

Move the suitcase out of your way and let it be his problem.

[StillPooh]

Don't hang up his things, and don't iron anything for him, either. Just tell him he has to keep his case somewhere off the floor (under the bed or in the closet) so you don't fall over it.

[Willie T]

Where were you all 10 years ago? LOL Now I do all the packing, unpacking and repacking. Listen to this advice heatherandfred, if you do something once, you'll be stuck with it for life. On the plus side, I'am in charge of packing, but he's in charge of paying! Nice trade off I'd say.

[blindrid]

Just speculating here but when he leaves his dirty clothes laying around, throw them in the suitcase with his clean clothes "since he needs to pack them again anyway".

 

I'm not one to be overly concerned with the cleanliness of the room. To me, Lysol is going overboard but at least you are doing what you can to make him more comfortable (maybe).

 

If anything, anyone can drive themselves nuts worrying about things you cannot control. Included is bed bugs in the suitcase would be more of a problem than catching anything from putting his clothes away. In addition, sand fleas are an issue in some locale's as well.

 

I think it's a line to cover his laziness since you are doing it for him.

[Happy ks]

My Aunt does this as well. Usually it doesn't bother me as she stays in her own cabin and I stay out of it. But when we share a hotel room it's rather comical.

 

Her excuse? She leaves her stuff in the suitcase so she can find it. I told her I can find my stuff too...in the closet and the drawers and the bathroom. She even sleeps with her suitcase on the bed next to her.

 

It's funny to watch her get ready. She has to unpack and repack every time she changes clothes. It takes longer and is more disorganized than just putting your stuff in the closet/bathroom/drawers. I sit and watch her fuss over it every time. So much for just having to repack once at the end of the stay ;)

 

Edit to add, that I don't agree with those who say to ignore it because it's not your problem. It is a problem, it's a PIA for you and I think you should tell him to get over the cooties he thinks are there and take care of his stuff, because he is a grown up and part of that is being considerate of others.

[Ethel5]

This guy is a slob and nothing will change him. Think long and hard before you marry him or you'll be cleaning up after him for the rest of your life.

[rjm1cc]

If this is the only friction in your relationship I would say let him do what he wants. If this is one of many quirks that bother you, then you better wake up and smell the coffee.

[printingchick]

My guy is the same way and he's NOT a slob at all. In fact, just the opposite. I'm the more easy-going one. He's a neat freak. Even he'd admit to being a little OCD about it. And he says the same thing your guy says. The drawers are not sanitary. Who knows what other people have put in there? He doesn't want his clothes touching someone else's germs.

 

I'm just the opposite. Not to say I'm a lover of other people's germs, but I can't stand to live out of a suit case. If I'm staying more than one or two nights, I unpack - completely! I don't like to be digging for things in a suit case. I like to set things up similarly to how I have them arranged at home so getting ready in the morning isn't a challenge. I also don't want my clothes getting wrinkled, but mostly it's just the "at home" nature of being unpacked that I insist on. I unpack as soon as our suit cases deliver to the cabin.

 

My advice is to just live and let live. While he may think my need to "settle in" as soon as I can is silly and I may think his living out of a suit case is crazy, but to each his/her own, right?

[missy329]

My husband does the same thing and he is no slob either. He just sees it as a waste of time to unpack. No big deal to me....his clothes, his suitcase, whatever. He does manage to keep them out of the way however.

[PennyAgain]

Pick your battles wisely. My husband never unpacks either. So be it. I never use drawers in hotel rooms after finding other people's possessions in them on several trips including PORN and shoes! That did it!

[Jusacuz]

I never unpack either. I'm not a slob, I just find it inconvenient to take everything out. My stuff is organized a certain way and mostly, in order of how I plan to wear it. Once it's dirty it's put in a separate bag. I do keep it off the floor so no one trips over it.

 

My daughter unpacks on every vacation and it drives me batty because we end up having to go through the whole room to find where she put her stuff. She treats it like she would her room at home. lol :D

 

It's not really a battle worth fighting, imo. Aside from tripping over the stuff and possible injury, which I would have an issue with, it doesn't affect anyone's life.