Would you travel with older kids and leave baby at home?

[Host Jacquelyn]

We are booked to take a cruise in Dec 2011 and recently found out we are pregnant with baby #3! I was telling a friend that I will be canceling the cruise, and they seriously suggested going with the 2 older kids and leaving the baby at home with grandparents. The idea never occurred to me and really don't think I could ever do something like that. The baby will be 1 at the time, so he would be fully aware that both his parents and his siblings would be gone. While I don't think he would be scarred for life or anything, I am sure it would be quite scary. Also, I can't imagine taking a family vacation with only part of the family. Just wondering - would any of you do it? Would you even consider it?

[onthelake]

This isn't a simple yes or no question - there are a lot of variables and every family is different.

 

How old are the other two children? How well would the (then) 1 year old know the grandparents? How do you and your husband feel deep down about the trip?

 

On one hand, after a third child has been added to the family, it might be nice to have some time just with the older two since they will have had less attention. It might also give you and your husband a little well deserved rest and alone time. It is also much easier to find accommodation for 4 than for 5 on a cruise (just look over the threads here). And, there are things you may enjoy doing on cruises that you will have to give up since there is little relief for parents on a ship with a one year old.

 

On the other hand, would you be racked with guilt the whole time? Will the your husband feel the same way? Are you planning a cruise that is family friendly (beachy type) or one that is port intensive and full of sights you have always wanted to see (Europe)? Does the cruise involve a long flight? Also, at this point you have no idea what kind of disposition the new baby will have - some go with the flow and some need a tight schedule.

 

You really need to look at what your expectations are for a cruise, what the cost will be financially, emotionally and in terms of time (vacation time available) and then make your decision. Certainly, from all the postings here, it is certainly doable. My son's first cruise was at about 16 months and we flew to Aruba and got on a ship for the Panama Canal. No Problem.

Good luck!

[Angeleyes1382]

I would most definitely. I personally would not take a child under 2 on a cruise. (I have nothing against those who do, though) It would be contingent on one thing. I'd need to be able to leave the baby with someone that she or he is very familiar with, for example a grand parent who lives nearby. Babies are creatures of habit. They are more comfortable in surroundings they are familiar with, with people they are familiar with, and on a schedule they are used to. I'm not saying a baby would not notice that it's parents and siblings are gone, but the baby would not be in distress so long as there is someone there they are very familiar with taking care of them.

[sunandseagirl617]

My vote is to take the one year old with you on the cruise!

 

Our daughter is 7 years younger than our son. She went on her first cruise at 2 years old!! I knew if we wanted to continue cruising (and we do!!!!!!!!!!!!) she would have to get used to it early on!

 

That same two year old is now 10!! She loves cruising even more than her 17 year old brother!

 

When my daughter was 2, it was so difficult being in the cabin early or cutting dinner short, but she is so used to cruising now-it's actually a very pleasurable vacation for everyone!!

:D

[DALSAL]

I personally would take the baby and the grandparents! I dont judge others, but I couldnt leave my one year old behind for that long. :eek:Im eagerly awaiting taking my then almost 11 month old granddaughter on her first cruise in September. Mom and Dad have been away from her for a few nights, but dont think they would consider a whole week away from her. Heck, I havent seen her in 4 days, and Im beside myself! :DLOL...If I ever kept for her a week, I would keep her at her house in her surroundings. It will be a different cruise for sure with a baby, but to me less stressful on everyone!

[boulders]

I have done exactly that. When my youngest was 20 months old, I took the 2 oldest on a cruise. It was important to all of us to get away for a few days. My oldest was having some issues and it was good for him to have some time focused on him for a change. The youngest was well taken care of and we all came back refreshed. The 20 month old had absolutely no issues with us being gone. It was a very good thing. I would definitely do it again. I would definitely take one or two of the children on a vacation without the third. It's important for them all to feel special and to get special treatment once in a while.

[cb at sea]

1 is a PERFECT age to leave him/her with Grandma! They aren't "clingy" yet, and grandma will LOVE the bonding.

No fears...the grandparents raised you......and they will take much better care of your child (their grandchild) than they did you! Promise!

 

You won't be sorry....the baby won't remember the trip, but the grandparents will NEVER forget their time with their grandbaby...if they're willing and able, go for it!

[quincytoo]

I think Baby and grandparents would love the time they got to spend together as well your older two would have a great time with the two of you. Parents get some rest after a year of having a new baby. Looks like a win win for all:)

[kjunea]

We did this when our DS was 15 months old. We took the older kids (11 and 14 at the time) to a resort for 4 days. They had a blast and got a lot of attention, momma got a little break, and baby got lots of attention from aunt and uncle. It was a win/win for us.

 

Now that the older ones are in college, we take a vacation all of us and then we also take a vacation just the three of us at home too. The older ones are a little jealous (okay, a lot jealous!), but they know that if they were at home, they would get to go too. And we remind them that we didn't take the baby, but took them a couple of times too!

[crusinmama06]

Not in a million bajillion years would I leave one of the kids at home. :eek: But you probably figured I would say that didn't ya? ;)

 

They aren't puppies -- we can't leave one at home. I know I know. Grandma would love it -- blah blah blah. Sorry but I couldn't handle being away from one of my children. I need all of them to be together.

 

So would I cancel? No. I wouldn't. I would rebook the cruise to accomodate the new little bundle of sunshine. :D

 

CONGRATULATIONS JACKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eclipsepearl]

I don't judge those who would but I also couldn't do it. Missing my baby would spoil it for me and they change so much at this age. It smacks of a family vacation with a missing part.

 

I actually could see leaving a turbulent toddler, just to be able to relax but I found 1 year old's quite easy to travel with.

 

I actually could see leaving all three at home and just going with dh for some couple time.

 

I don't think it would hurt the baby one bit and do what works for you.

 

How old will the other two be? I'm wondering if they'll be going through some stage and you'll be asking yourself if you left the wrong one at home lol!

[A&Jfamily]

First - Congratulations!:D

 

My vote is no because it is meant to be a family vacation - to me, that means the "whole" family. Baby will never know the difference, but I would.

 

So I would either take the baby along or if you did not like the idea of cruising with a baby I would postpone the cruise til baby was older.

[RoadTripFanatic]

I voted I wouldn't leave my baby at home. I have taken a 2 night cruise to the Bahamas and left the 18 month old at Grandmas. Grandma lived 5 hrs from the cruise port. I was gone a short amount of time. I survived but I missed her terribly. I have not left my child for more than 6 days nor will I leave the country again with out her. Here are some things to think about.

1. If you are nursing the baby what if the baby isn't weaned by that point in time? (Trust me I had to take my 9 month old to Cleveland with me to a wedding because she refused to take a bottle!!!!)

2. Can you book a second cabin right next to the existing one? You will have 5 people at that point in time.

3. Do you think you could stay away from your child for that long of time?

4. Have you left your older children for that amount of time?

5. How well will your 1 year old know her grandparents? How old are the grandparents. Do they have the stamina to chase after a 1 year old for a week?

6. Congratulations!!!!!!! Good luck on your decision!! Also I would go ahead and book the second cabin and you can always cancel it. :)

[MamaParrotHead]

Also depends on what kind of experience you want to have (and you want your kids to have) on the cruise. I'd think that having a baby limiting their excursion options and their lives having to literally revolve around the baby on the cruise (where as at home they could just do their own thing while you take care of the baby) might foster some resentment. As would cancelling the cruise because of the baby.

 

I don't think that a 1 year old would be "scared" to be left with caring grandparents or others they know and trust. I also think that because you have so much time to plan, you have plenty of time to prepare the baby and yourself for the few days you're away (and by that point, you may welcome a little time away).

[sandytoes03]

I would take the 1 year old along!

 

Try and get on a ship that has facilities for babies that age, and then, you can have adult time, time with the older children, and family time all together.

 

Congrats!

[javma]

First, congrats on your new addition! :D

 

I am a big fan of family vacations, so we always go with all of our kids (but everyone is different and that is OK!!). That said, I think the answer to your question depends largely on what cruise line you are going on. We crusied this past April on Oasis of the Seas with a 6 YO, 3YO and 11 month old. Had 2 adjoining balcony staterooms and LOVED it! So much so that we are rebooked for next April. The Oasis has tons to do, a splash pool where the little ones can play in their swim diapers, and a kids center that will take infants (which we used on a few different occasions for a few hours each and was terrific). Although the Oasis was a perfect family vacation with an infant, I think I would be less enthusiastic about crusing with an infant if the ship did not cater to kids like the Oasis does.

 

Whatever you do, good luck and have a great vacation!

[janina]

Depends on how old the baby is, and who would be babysitting.

[chipmaster]

Nope, I'd delay my vacation by a few years :D

[ChiMimi69]

We are booked to take a cruise in Dec 2011 and recently found out we are pregnant with baby #3! I was telling a friend that I will be canceling the cruise, and they seriously suggested going with the 2 older kids and leaving the baby at home with grandparents. The idea never occurred to me and really don't think I could ever do something like that. The baby will be 1 at the time, so he would be fully aware that both his parents and his siblings would be gone. While I don't think he would be scarred for life or anything, I am sure it would be quite scary. Also, I can't imagine taking a family vacation with only part of the family. Just wondering - would any of you do it? Would you even consider it?

 

Awwww! Don't leave baby! You may want to consider sailing on RCCL's Oasis or Allure. Yes, they are are pricey but, so worth it in the end if it means being all together. They have a nursery that will care for babies (for a fee). If you worry about leaving him with strangers, than see if you can do it at his nap times. This way he can nap for 1-2 hrs and you can spend some quality time with hubby by the pool. Just have the staff call you when he wakes. Added bonus is that they also offer in room babysitting (for a fee). Enjoy and Congrats!

[mjkacmom]

I've left kids home with the grandparents many, many times. Hershey Park wouldn't have been as fun with babies, a week at the beach, 10 hours away, was much easier when we left our 8 month old home. Washington DC would not be appreciated much by a 3 year old, but my ds12 loved it. It's really a win-win. The kids get a break from the baby, and parents get quality time with the older kids, the baby is totally pampered by the grandparents, and the grandparents get some quality one-on-one time with their grandchild.

 

My children are very, very close to my parents, and this is one of the reasons why. Heck, my mom just took my dd to Florida, just the 2 of them, for a dance competition!

[Onessa]

I vote to take the little one along.

 

I think any time that any child (of any age) can spend with their family is a positive experience in forming that child. While an infant does not retain specific memories, the overall sense of security and the opportunity to spend "quality" time with their parents and siblings does become an important part of that child's personality and self-image. And time when the family is away from their normal routine where the parents are relaxed and the siblings are not rushing off to other activities -- when the infant can get close attention -- is the type of quality time that is hard to carve out of the average work day.

 

I had my child so that I could nurture her and raise her. I had 25 years all to "myself" and an additional 10 years when my DH and I were "alone together" -- I've had nearly 15 years now when DH, DD and I have been together. In just a few years, she will be on her own and it will (god willing) be primarily just DH and I together. Enjoy the now - because your new child will be that marvalous 1YO only once in his/her life!

 

DD is on a band trip for the week and while DH and I are enjoying each others company (and the additional time without taxi service duty :D), we miss our DD and our normal life as a threesome.

[QTMichele]

First.... CONGRATULATIONS, Jackie!!! How exciting for you and your family!!! We are a family of 5 and LOVE being a larger family. :)

 

I voted to take the baby along on the cruise. I was in a similar situation almost 2 years ago. For me, I just wanted all my children to be with me (unfortunately, DH had to stay home due to work issues). My son was 14 months old when we went on the Freedom of the Seas this past January, but he did GREAT and we had a wonderful time!!! I would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

Having said that, I can tell you that there is a small part of me that would consider leaving an older baby/toddler with the grandparents. I am a SAHM and don't get too many breaks from my kids (and almost none with my son!). I completely trust my parents and in-laws and know they would have a fabulous time bonding with my youngest if I were to leave him in their care. I understand that it would be difficult to be away for a week or so, but I also know it would be nice for the older kids to have more time with mom and dad.

 

Ultimately, you really have to do what feels best for you and your family. Good luck with your decision. Again, CONGRATS!!! :D