Capetown to Singapore

[JackfromWA]

A little later today, my mom, dad, son and I board Oceania’s cruise ship Nautica to travel 35-days from Capetown, South Africa to Singapore.

 

A few years ago I took a 35-day trip from Hong Kong to Athens with my parents on Nautica and wrote about it on cruise critic. The link to that is here: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=528321

 

The writing was ultimately published in a book called Cruising With Mom and Dad. I didn’t ever expect to take another trip like this again, but circumstances came up that made this trip possible. A lot has happened since my parents and I disembarked Nautica. My relationship of 8-years ended, I adopted a 10-year old (now 12 year old) son from the foster care system, my father was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia (a nasty degenerative disease that combines the symptoms of Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s), and my economic circumstances have continually declined.

 

This trip isn’t convenient in terms of time or money, but worthwhile endeavors don’t always fit neatly into my life. When the opportunity came up, I decided that I needed to seize this chance to spend another month at sea with my dad and mom together, and give my son the opportunity to see the world with his grandparents and father. One of the blessing and curses of ocean travel is the intimacy that comes from sharing small cabins. While I don’t look forward to sharing a 200 square feet cabin and sleeping in a single bed for a month, I know that when the trip is over I’ll appreciate the time with my son. I have packed noise-cancelling headphones and an eye mask for those moments that I need solitude in Casey’s presence.

 

My dad was born in Holland in 1931, and he wanted to spend a few weeks there before flying down to South Africa to board Nautica. It felt like he is taking one last trip to his native country before his disease makes it impossible for him to visit his homeland again.

 

Casey and I met my parents in London and we flew to Johannesburg and on to Capetown to board Nautica together. After over 25 hours in airplanes I was tried. I had arranged with a tour company to meet us at the airport and show us around before we could go to the hotel and check in.

 

Our guide, Charl, was a retired Capetown government official. He and his wife, Erna, met when they were 10 and have been married 45-years. He considers his greatest career achievement to be helping adjust local government policies when Apartheid was abolished. Charl drove us to a small town called Stellenbosch, which is the heart of the South African wine county. We wandered the old streets, admired the Dutch architecture, peeked in a few galleries and tried to reconcile that we were in Africa. Neither Stellenbosch nor Capetown felt like the Africa we expect to see on Safari. They reminded me more of San Diego’s trendy Sea Port Village, Santa Barbara’s Stearns Wharf or the art galleries of La Conner, Washington.

 

“Would you like to try some wine?” Charl asked. I am in long-term substance abuse recovery (I haven’t had a drink or any other drug since May of 1990), my parents are active Mormons and my son is 12. We are about as tea totaling a crowd as he is every likely to guide.

 

“No,” I replied, “none of us drink. I think we’d like to head back to Capetown and see if we can check into our hotel.” As we approached Capetown, Table Mountain was partially visible through the marine haze. As more of it came into focus it became obvious why Table Mountain is synonymous with the city. Its beauty and presence overshadow the landscape and its attraction is undeniable.

 

We checked in and headed to the waterfront for dinner. None of us were seeking a dining experience—we have 35-days of that to look forward to on Nautica—and eventually found ourselves acquiescing to Casey’s desire to eat at a Subway. Our first supper in Africa was sitting on a touristy dock, eating Subway sandwiches, watching a giant neon Ferris wheel slowly rotate as an impromptu street band played Italian opera.

 

The next day I went to get my parents for breakfast. My dad had misplaced about $300 and my mom was exasperated, but trying to patient about where he had put the money. Their 50-year pattern of my dad taking care of the money, holding the plane tickets, driving and making plans is rapidly ending. “Do you remember when you last saw the envelope Pete?” She quizzed him.

 

“No, I don’t know,” he slowly replied. His movement and speech have slowed. The simplest questions often seem to require deep thought.

 

“What pants were you wearing? Was it your black ones?” He nodded. She located them, but there were no envelopes of cash stuffed in the pockets.

 

“I’m going to check the safe,” she said. The money was there. My dad still makes wise decisions, but he can’t remember that he made them. That morning I had woken up angry with my father. I dreamt that he didn’t really have Alzheimer’s and that he was pretending to be confused. I wanted him to stop acting silly and take his rightful place as the experienced leader of our family. I wanted to let him make the decisions, take the lead, guide us with his wisdom and take responsibility for our safety, itinerary and decisions. Now that I have assumed much of that role—a role I always lusted for as an adolescent—I wanted to abdicate it and return it to him. I wanted my dad back. Not this forgetful old man who bore a remarkable resemblance to my Stanford educated, retired professor emeritus father.

 

I realized that I could chose to resent, mourn and deny the truth of the progression of his disease, or I could surrender to it, accept it and have the most fun we could with the time and opportunity we have left. And that is what I chose to do. I decided today that my focus would be on making sure my dad lived his dream of visiting South Africa, that I would try my best to be patient, be of service to him, and do all I could to enjoy this strange new world we found ourselves in. I didn’t want to waste my day in sorrow over my loss—I wanted to spend my day enjoying our time together. The good thing about an aging parent with dementia is that there is plenty of time to talk, spend time together and came to grips with their inevitable demise—the bad thing is that they die a day at a time.

 

The day started beautifully. The weather was perfect and the cable car to Table Mountain was open. We rode to the top, took lots of photos and admired the incredible views. We drove over Chapman Peak as we meandered along the Cape Peninsula. The highway followed the beaches and the view of the ocean waves, rocky cliffs and sandy beaches were as good as those in Big Sur, Dubrovnik, Hong Kong or Costa Rica. Along the coast we watched kite boarders use their giant kites and surfboards to allow the wind to propel them over the ocean surface in the sunlight. It was probably the most beautiful highway I’ve ever traveled. We eventually found ourselves at the Cape of Good Hope. Although it isn’t literally, as popularly believed, where the Indian and Atlantic oceans meet, for hundreds of years it was where maritime navigators turned north and believed the oceans met. There was something ruggedly exciting about being their, knowing how many generations had eagerly waited and prayed to safely arrive so they could begin their journey home.

 

“Charl,” Casey asked. “Why aren’t their shanties near Table Mountain?” When we drove in from the airport we passed miles of cardboard, claptrap shanty dwellings. Casey was fascinated that people lived in them. My son has lived a very hard life. His mother was found by social workers living in a storage container when she was five months pregnant with him. She abandoned him to her mother when he was 11-months old and he was raised in the US equivalent of a shanty neighborhood in the inner city of Tacoma. Crime, poverty, neglect, lack of running water and violence were constant in his early life. He spent a few years shuffled between one grandmother who abused him so badly that she was ultimately arrested for the punching, total body bruising and missing clumps of hair, and another grandma who didn’t have the ability or judgment to keep him safe.

 

When state social workers finally removed Casey and his twin sisters from their home, Casey began a 3-year odyssey into the foster care system. He was drugged, neglected (he spent almost two years in a bedroom in a foster home when he wasn’t in school), given Top Ramen and cheese pizza for sustenance, and was suspended nine times in fourth grade for acting out all while under the protection of the state. A sad truth about foster care is often children are more likely to be abused and emotionally neglected in care than in the circumstance they were removed from. When Casey came to live with me a little over two years ago no one, including me, expected to see the progress he has made.

 

He gained 20 pounds in three months, he has been off ADHD medication for two years, he is successful in school, he has friends, he feels safe, and I couldn’t love him any more than if I had raised him from the day he was born. Needless to say the whole thing is a miracle in the truest sense of the word. The fact that my parents and I think he is ready to spend 35-days on one of the finest cruise ships in the world, speaks volumes about how far we have come.

 

“What do you mean Casey?” Charl asked in his quipped South African English.

 

“Well, umm why aren’t their some shanties by Table Mountain. I mean there is lots of space around there and I think if you live in a shanty it would be nice to see the mountain everyday… don’t you? So why don’t they have some shanties over there?”

 

Charl thought a moment before replying. “The government won’t allow them there Casey. It’s a state park and is protected for all the people to enjoy. The shanties are closer to the airport and located on land the government decided was more suitable for shanties. They don’t want shanties littering our national parks.”

 

“Oh. Well, I don’t think they can see table top mountain there and I just think it would be really nice to have a nice place to have a shanty if you have to live in one.” Charl didn’t say anything. There really was no reply. Personally, I agreed with Casey. If 700,000 of your 3.5 million population live without water, sewer, proper roofs, floors, walls or any of the other comforts that seem reasonable for anyone living on this planet in 2010, why not at least bring some natural beauty to their surroundings.

 

Changing the subject Charl asked, “Would you like to see to see some penguins?”

 

“Penguins!” My mom said, “I thought they liked colder weather and lived in Antarctica. I didn’t know there were penguins in Africa!”

 

“I want to see penguins!” Casey called out. “Let’s go!” Charl explained that the penguins once lived here and have been reintroduced, so we parked on a sunny beach near some palm trees and walked to the ocean to see penguins in Africa. Other than a few baboons on the side of the road, the first animals we saw in Africa were penguins. As I stood on the beach, enjoying the incongruity of watching the penguins, surrounded by sunlight, warm waves and tropical trees I felt the expectations of this journey washing away like sand castles in the tide. I have no clue what this trip will be like. It seems crazy to board Nautica tomorrow with my 12-year old son and 79-year old father. Yet going back to Nautica feels like going home. In 2007 when I traveled with my mom and dad from Hong Kong to Athens I experienced the greatest vacation of my life. This is a different trip. We are in a different place. Yet for all the seeming challenges, I believe this trip can be as fulfilling as that one.

 

When we arrived back to our hotel we returned to my room and looked out over the harbor. Nautica had docked while we were touring. She gleamed in the late afternoon sun, eclipsing the other ships and buildings around the harbor, glowing like the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center.

 

I can’t wait to set foot on my favorite ship in the world. My best vacation is being on a cruise ship with people I love. And no cruise line is more innovative and capable than Oceania. We are only spending one night aboard before we leave for three nights to take a safari in Sabi Sabi—neither my parents or Casey have ever been to Africa and we couldn’t leave without taking a photo safari—and then we rejoin the ship in Durban a few days later.

 

The next 35-days hold great promise and I can’t wait to get aboard and start our cruise. We will spend hundreds of hours together, explore some of the most beautiful islands in the world, take a safari, share many meals, visit the Temples of Burma (Myanmar), and talk. My dad could leave this world today and there is nothing left unsaid between us, but despite that there is still more I want to listen to and say. I am thankful that all our connection from here forward is a bonus. I can’t think of any way to teach my son, who has known far too much abandonment, abuse and neglect, what it means to be a good father than to watch my dad and I in the twilight of our relationship. Although Casey will miss 18-days of school to take this cruise, I hope that the lessons he learns with his grandparents and I will last a lifetime.

 

Thanks for reading

 



Jack

[LHT28]

Hope you and your family have a great trip & looking forward to reading about your adventures

 

Enjoy the cruise

 

Lyn

[dwelsh]

What a fascinating story Jack! I wish I had the opportunity of sharing this voyage with you and your family. We wish you all God Speed and a wonderful "O" experience.

[todaytourism.com]

I love the story too...It is very inspiring to travel also...

 

I want to experience those great things too...^_^

 

Looking forward for some pictures...^_^

[sunnies]

Hi Jack,

 

Your book on your Hong Kong to Athens cruise was referred to frequently in the months prior to our 2008 cruise. We have booked the Cape Town to Singapore for 2011 so will read with great interest about your experiences.

Have a wonderful trip.

 

Meg

[Cruiser John]

Jack Great to see your travel observations and reports again. This will be a fantastic Christmas gift to all the c.c. readers who enjoyed your reports from your HK-Athens cruise. Keep the reports coming and enjoy your adventure. John H

[potterhill]

How wonderful that you can take this trip with your parents and son. I enjoyed your writing so much last time and will look forward to reading your adventures once again.

 

You will love the safari. We did one over New Years 07/08 and it was wonderful. We are now supporting 3 kids in school, 2 through our safari guide and a boy our daughter met while working in Mombasa, all as a result of our trip.

 

I would love to have taken a trip like this but my Mom is gone and my Dad has dementia. Mind you he would never cooperate when we wanted to take them. I think in retrospect that he has known for years that he had problems and didn't want to encounter new situations. Patience will be key in dealing with your Dad. In the summer we had a similar episode with money only it was more and we never found it.....I think it was put in a safe place and will come to light someday, LOL! Unless of course, he lost it on the way home from town.

 

Have a wonderful trip and do keep us updated on your adventures.

 

Mo

[Mparis184]

Oh Jack, your post brought tears to my eyes. I wish you, your son and parents a safe journey and fabulous adventure.

 

One of my friends just got off the Nautica today in Capetown and will be joining me on on the Marina for her Maiden Voyage on January 22.

 

I look forward to your posts over the next few weeks. Congratulations on your 20th Anniversary (One Day At A Time).

 

Many thanks,

 

Marion

[Marebear]

Jack, you've just made my day!!!! My father died of dementia a few years before thay called it Alzheimers. It was so special to spend time with him while we could and have many conversations with him!

 

Have a wonderful trip with your parents and your son and tell us all about it. I so enjoyed your last trip and can't wait to hear more about it.

 

Bon Voyage!!!

 

Mary

[sable1]

Jack,

 

I think I see another book in the making. Looking forward to another fascinating vicarious cruise with your wonderful prose. Thank you.

Joanne

[orchestrapal]

Jack, wonderful to have you back reporting as you have in the past.

Enjoy the time with your parents and your beautiful son.

Wishing you and yours a very safe and fun and interesting cruise.

We happily await all your reports.:)

[Jancruz]

Hi Jack,

Stu and I are looking forward to your daily reports..since we cant be there with you..reading your writings are our next best vacation..Hi to your Mom, Dad, Casey and of course you!!

Jancruz1

[Mura]

Jack,

 

My best wishes to you on your family cruise. How wonderful of you to take in Casey and turn his life around so completely.

 

I can identify with your frustration with your father's illness. My mother is 93 and is deep into Alzheimer's. My husband and I cruised with her on Regatta before she was diagnosed (but actually was already showing some symptoms) and she really enjoyed the trip. We all want our REAL parents back in these situations.

 

Have a great trip,

 

Mura

[JackfromWA]

I woke up disoriented and jetlagged. Where am I?, I wondered.

 

As reality slowly soaked in I remembered—I was on Nautica. I heard my son lightly breathing and I relaxed into the comfort of being back on my favorite ship. I know most cruisers believe there are better ships in the world—Silverseas Silver Shadow and Regent’s Seven Seas Voyager leap to mind—but my heart is on this boat. The cabins are still too small— taking a shower I can imagine I’m in an RV—but the service is still spectacular and the meals are fantastic. Last night we ate in Toscana, one of the best Italian restaurants anywhere, and after dinner Executive Chef Wolfgang Maier came by to say hello. I hadn’t seen him in two years.

 

“How are you doing Jack?” He asked in his Austrian accent.

 

“Great now that we’re here,” I replied. Wolfgang noticed Casey admiring his hat.

 

“Do you like my hat?” He asked, pointing to the 12” tall traditional chef’s cap he wore.

 

“It’s awesome!”

 

“I’ll get you one.” Casey beamed.

 

“I hear you are leaving us on this trip,” I said.

 

“Yes, I go to Marina on January 2nd.”

 “Will you be Executive Chef aboard her?”

 

“No,” he smiled. “I am going to be the chef for Red Ginger.” He went on to describe the mouthwatering Asian-fusion dishes based on Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese cuisine that Red Ginger will serve when Marina takes her maiden voyage next month. “I have cooked every dish. Not one time, not two times, but many times!”

 

“Wolfgang, if you need to practice the Red Ginger menu our table would be happy to let you use us as volunteers.” He laughed.

 

“No problem I will let you know if I need you.”

 

“I’m sorry you are leaving us—it seems that too many of the best staff might be going to Marina…”

 

“No, we have good staff there, but we have been training for months now on every ship,” Wolfgang said. “Some cruise lines open a new ship and forget about their old ships. We won’t do that. When Marina sails Nautica, Regatta and Insignia will stay better than ever. The management is very clear on this. We need service to improve on the other ships when Marina opens, not reduce. OK, it is good to see you. Glad you are back.” He turned to my dad, “I’ll make sure the head waiters know that you can get your buttermilk whenever you want it.” My dad smiled. Wolfgang knows he likes buttermilk.

 

“Uh, excuse me,” Casey called as Wolfgang was leaving, “but were you serious about the hat?” Wolfgang turned and looked at him intently.

 

“Young man, of course I was serious, if I say you will get a chefs hat, you will get a chefs hat! But I won’t tell you when. It will be a surprise!” Giving us all another big smile, he left Toscana.

 

“You are so lucky Casey,” Sukey said, “If I had asked for a chefs hat I don’t think I could have got one.” Casey beamed. He is lucky—and given his past he deserves every break he gets.

 

It has been a little over two years since I’ve been on Oceania. Most ships deteriorate with age, but Nautica has gotten better. The cabin has new reading lights, a DVD player, a refrigerator and my favorite new perk of unlimited water and soft drinks. I assumed that I would still have to pay for Perrier, but Oceania being Oceania, made sparking water free too. The carpets look bright, my cabin was in good repair, my stewardess was attentive and eager to assist me, our check-in was quick and flawless and the ship seemed newer, brighter and in better condition than I remembered her.

 

As we left this morning to take a three-night safari in Sabi Sabi I noticed that next to the exit were hundreds of bottles of free water. Half were on ice and the rest were standing on tables lined up like toy soldiers. I meant to take water from my cabin for the taxi ride to the airport, but again Oceania anticipated guests would want water when leaving the ship. They exceeded my expectations by offering both cold (but wet bottles from the ice) and room temperature (dry and ready for my backpack) water conveniently as I left Nautica.

 

It’s good to be back on board. It’s even more exciting to leave today and take my dad, mom and son to see Lions, Leopards, Elephants, Zebra and hundreds of other species in the savannahs of Africa. This is my fourth safari and for the first time this trip combines my two favorite traveling passions: safaris and cruises. We are going to have a great time.

 


Thanks for reading,

 


Jack

[wripro]

Jack,

 

Thanks for these day brightening reports. I hope you and your parents enjoy every single day and adventure.

[dwelsh]

I agree with wipro. Just great!

 

Only two small criticisms Jack, there is nothing "FREE" on cruise ships, everything you don't pay extra for is "included!" Cruise ships are "Ships" not "boats." The difference, you can carry a boat on a ship but you can't put a ship on a boat!!!:):):):)

[Mparis184]

I have never been on a safari; I will have to take the tour vicariously through Jack I guess. I am eager to read all about it.

 

Marion

[Mura]

Well, Marion, if you haven't done a safari yet you should plan one!

 

We did a Kenya-Tanzania safari back in August 1987 because my husband's boss had just taken his family on one, and his feeling was that the animals' time was limited. I think that is still true, although if he'd been completely right they'd all be gone by now. But back then, I don't think South Africa had the facilities they do now. Nor did Ethiopia.

 

This was one of the super trips of our lives. If you can arrange it, do!

 

Ours was one week in Kenya, one in Tanzania, with stopovers in Nairobi inbetween. I'd recommend the company we used except, alas, it no longer exists. But we had a fabulous guide who was a Brit artist who'd served in the British forces in Kenya before liberation and stayed on. He gave us wonderful lectures at most stops on lots of topics (history, politics, art, economics, the people, etc.) and tourists on much more expensive tours (like AK) would stop by to eavesdrop on what he was saying. Everybody went to the same places ... it was just a matter of how much you paid for the privilege.

 

Do go!

[potterhill]

I totally agree. Our trip to Kenya was the best we've ever taken. The only wee problem we had was that we left home on the day of the Kenyan elections in 07. Made for some interesting wrinkles but I would go back in a minute.

 

Mo

[JackfromWA]

FIRST, A FEW REPLIES

 

Lyn, thanks for the good wishes. Yes, we will enjoy the cruise!

 

Dwelsh, wish you were here too and I’m sure we’ll have a fabulous “O” experience. You are absolutely right that nothing on board is free and wherever the slightly ambiguous line between boat and ships is, Nautica is clearly far past it! I love your definition and will borrow and share it from here forward.

 

Todaytourism, I’ll try to get some photos up. Especially of the safari!

 

Meg, isn’t Hong Kong to Athens a great itinerary? Glad my experience was helpful to you.

 

John, I will do my best to keep the reports coming. Writing is my “time out.” Having my 12-year old son, and my dad in early Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s makes time valuable, but I will post as I can.

 

Mo, how great to hear from you again! We are having a great time on the safari as you expected, and I hope the money turns up some time.

 

Marion, as you surmised I’m accepting life on its own terms. Thanks for the congratulations. It makes all this possible… As far as the safari goes, if it’s important to you I’m sure you’ll make it one day. It is worth the effort.

 

Mary, nice to hear from you again too. Although my dad isn’t “all there” he is there enough to have important conversations. He just doesn’t remember things well and confuses easily. His integrity is intact and I am definitely spending time and having conversations while I can.

 

Joanne, don’t know that this will be a book, but it will be a way for me to remember this special trip. I won’t likely ever take another long cruise with my father or a pre-teen son.

 

Orchestral pal, thanks for the well-wishes.

 

Jan, my mom and dad send their regards to you and Stu and wish you were here too. You’d love the safari! Hard to believe I’ve been on a cruise a few days and have spent less than 24-hours on the ship!

 

Mura, how I resonate with your statement “we all want our REAL parents back.” Despite that, I am encouraged that your mother enjoyed the trip. I’m pretty brave taking a 12-year old and a parent in dementia on a 35-day cruise, huh?

__________________________________________________

 

SAFARI origin late 19th cent.: from Kiswahili, from Arabic safara ‘to travel.’

 

A safari is the ultimate shore excursion. The challenge in combining a safari and a cruise is that there isn’t enough capacity for a cruise line to offer a first-class safari to all her guests. Unlike Port Said where taking 400 passengers to the Pyramids is quite doable, the best safari lodges can rarely accommodate more than 30 travelers. Consequently, most Oceania passengers coming to Africa won’t take a traditional three or four night African safari unless they do it pre or post cruise, or plan it themselves while the ship is in transit.

 

While I was a little disappointed to miss three nights aboard Nautica, I didn’t want to take my parents and Casey to Africa without enjoying a first rate safari. Not knowing quite what to expect, I was a little nervous about the camp, game viewing and accommodations. I shouldn’t have been. Our destination, Kirkman’s, proved to be superior in every way.

 

Kirkman’s is a 7,400-acre private reserve located at the southern end of Sabi Sands, considered by many to be the best of South Africa or even all of Africa’s game parks. Although there are no fences between Kruger and Sabi Sands, the advantage of Sabi Sands being a private reserve is that the vehicles can travel off road, animal sightings are generally limited to two vehicles at a time and the rangers constantly communicate where the animals are. It’s common for guests to see all the Big Five (cape buffalo, elephant, lion, leopard and rhino) in addition to giraffes, cheetah, zebra, impala, baboons and a wide variety of birds in a single visit. I’ve been to Kenya on safari three times and didn’t get a close look at a leopard until the third trip!

 

The difference between the various camps in Sabi Sands is more about the amenities of the lodges than the game viewing. Although the rooms and cuisine can vary widely, the animal opportunities are quite similar. Some of the most famous, high-end camps in the world such as Singita and Londolozi are in Sabi Sands, along with less famous camps like Kirkman’s. I hadn’t stayed at an andBeyond property before (in Kenya’s Masai Mara I always went to Little Governor’s Camp), and though their reviews were excellent I didn’t know what to expect. Their online rates were around $600 per person per day as opposed to Singita, which is about $1,200 per person per day. I knew that any good lodge in Sabi Sands would run at least $500 per day, and Kirkman’s offered a special that if we prepaid two nights we received the third night free. The only risk was that if we cancelled we forfeited our payment. Our total cost for a three-night/four day safari, including six game drives, all beverages (wine, beer, water, soda), food, complimentary laundry and transportation from the airport was about $1,100 per person. The flight from Capetown added another $300 each. Compared to the excursions offered by most cruise lines, this was a steal!

 

I was joined on the safari by four couples that I met traveling on Nautica from Hong Kong to Athens who had just taken the ship from Istanbul to Capetown. It worked out perfectly for them as Oceania allowed them to adjust their prepaid air to accommodate the post-cruise safari.

 

As we passed through security at the Capetown airport I heard a guard shouting, “Mr. Peter! Mr. Pete!” I turned back and saw a policeman waving a boarding pass. I walked over to him and read PETER HOVENIER. It was my dad’s.

 

“That’s my father’s pass,” I told him. My dad was 30-years ahead slowly moving toward the escalator. “Dad! Dad!” I yelled. “Casey, get grandpa.” Dad was flustered and embarrassed but we sorted everything out and boarded our flight to Kruger National Park.

 

We were picked up at the Kruger (Nelspruit) airport and two hours later pulled into Kirkman’s Kamp. Most camps have themes and Kirkman’s revolves around its history of a failed attempt to become a cattle ranch. Harry Kirkman killed over 500 lions in a vain effort to protect cattle. Part of the main lodge was built in his time, but the 18 guest cottages, pool and dining area are all a modern reproduction of a turn-of-the century safari lodge. While the property has a slight British feel, there is an ease and focus on service that supersedes everything else. When we arrived we were each handed a peppermint infused washcloth and quickly seated in comfortable couches with fresh ice-cold lemonade while we checked in and were familiarized with the camp routine and amenities.

 

Our luggage was waiting in our rooms when we were each led to our cottages. Casey and I had two comfortable beds with white duvets, down pillows and period furnishings. Chile lime Thai cashews, ice cold water and juices were on a table near our beds. Our in suite bathroom featured a cast iron tub, stand alone shower and custom soaps and lotions. The towels were the largest and plushest I’ve ever used. I noticed a candle and matches on a wooden rack at the end of the tub. Safari lodges can be very romantic and Kirkman’s provided all the luxuries to make it a perfect romantic getaway. A conveniently located storage box contained mosquito repellant, flashlights, power adapters, a blow dryer and more matches. Laundry is complimentary and returned the same day. There was even a stack of Africa themed National Geographic magazines in case I needed something to read. Our air conditioning was controlled by a remote next to my bed, but since Casey still has his cough I favored using the screens and fans. The only thing missing was a television, but I am glad the cottage didn’t have one—despite Casey’s slight disappointment (he had never stayed anywhere without a TV before) we didn’t need one on safari. There is a television and intermittent complimentary wireless Internet access in the main lodge.

 

Meals are served at flexible times. Breakfast is a combination of buffet and egg entrees to order (the omelets are fantastic) and lunch and dinner feature soup or salads and several entrée options. Last night we chose between fresh Impala (tastes like sirloin) or chicken. Casey was offered a kids menu with macaroni, pizza, schnitzel and hamburgers. Today he discovered he likes Ostrich better than beef!

 

After getting situated we set out on our first game drive. Because there are 12 of us, we divided into two groups of six. The open air customized land rovers have three inclined rows plus a driver and front passenger seat, so we had more than enough room to be comfortable and take unobstructed photos. It’s summer here and the temperatures were in the high 70’s, so the light safari clothing we brought was perfect. As we set off Casey chose the seat next to our guide, Mike, and I sat in the highest seat in the back—perfect for photos and the most spacious. Sukey and Jessie joined us in our jeep.

 

Before we took off Mike, a handsome, 25-year old, redheaded South African native warned us about the game drives. “Now out here the animals are wild. When we approach game it’s best to be quiet and not move around too much.” Looking at each of us in turn he asked, “Now before you came out here what did each of you want to see?” No one replied.

 

“Casey, what did you want to see?”

 

“Um, Lions, zebras and maybe some monkeys.”

 

“Right, very good. And you Ann and Peter?”

 

“We’d like to see an elephant, giraffe, and a lion. It might sound strange but I really want to see a zebra too. Pete would like to see a buffalo.”

 

“Good, very good,” Mike said in his crisp South African dialect. “Sukey, Jessie, what did you hope to see here?”

 

“I’d like to see a leopard and Jess wants to see a cape buffalo,” Sukey replied.

 

“Alright, good and you Jack, what do you want to see?”

 

“I like all the animals but if I had to pick something I’d choose watching lion cubs playing.”

 

“Right, that sounds good then, off we go,” Mike said. We hadn’t left the lodge more than five minutes before he called out, “there are same cape buffalo ahead on our left.” I turned and saw more than a dozen cape buffalo calmly grazing in the tall grass. The scent drifting toward us reminded me of the cow barn at our county fair.

 

“They sure look powerful,” my dad said.

 

“They are Pete. If you had to take one of those down you must shoot it very carefully. They have lots of bones in their head and they’re very strong.” We sat there for ten more minutes taking photos and watching them graze. “Everyone ready?” Mike asked. We nodded and took off. We passed through red dirt roads gliding along the trails in our dark green customized jeep, surrounded by green foliage, trees and occasional termite hills. Impalas and exotic birds often appeared as we turned a bend or looked carefully at the trees. I noticed an iridescent blue bird, the size of a large robin on a branch ahead of us.

 

“What bird is that Mike?” I asked.

 

“It’s a blue starling,” he replied.

 

“It looks like the blue bird of happiness—we can certainly use that!” My mom smiled. The air had a pungent, fragrant quality I’d never smelled before. It was the smell of Africa and I knew that this was a scent I’d always associate with coming here with my parents and son.

 

The Kirkman’s guides all have radios in their ear and I noticed Mike perking up. “Well I think you are very much in luck. Can anyone see what’s ahead?” Mike asked as he turned off the engine.

 

“A leopard!” Sukey called. Ahead were two vehicles and in a tree was a spectacular female leopard lazily draped on a long tree branch.

 

“Correct, but look right there,” he said pointing into the brush about 25 feet from our parked vehicle. In the tall grass was a male leopard guarding an impala carcass glaring angrily at us.

 

“Oh, my!” Sukey blurted out. The leopard started to snarl. He looked directly at Sukey and me. He wasn’t in a good mood.

 

“He’s warning us away from his food,” Mike said. “Usually they take their prey to a tree, but for some reason his impala is still on the ground.” GRROWWWLLL! The leopard snarled again. “Please don’t make any sudden moves anyone,” Mike warned.

 

“Would he jump up here?” Casey asked. His eyes were glued on the big cat as his voice cracked.

 

“It’s not likely but they can be quite protective of their meal. Let’s move forward a bit.” My adrenaline eased as Mike pulled the Land Rover ahead.

 

“Oh, my gosh! That was amazing!” I said in a stage whisper. “Do you all realize how lucky you are? I came to Africa twice before I even saw a leopard.” We were giddy with the excitement of being abused by a wild leopard. We pulled into position underneath the tree and started taking photos. We spent a good twenty minutes watching her adjust herself on the large branch.

 

Finally it was time to go in. On the way back we saw some hyena with a fresh kill and laughed as one tried to steal the food from the other. After dinner Casey and I went to bed. It was only 9:30 but the morning game drives begin at 5:30—you have to be up when the animals are visible—and I was still feeling jetlagged.

 

The next morning we set out in high spirits. After yesterday’s leopard spotting our expectations were high. Within twenty minutes we found ourselves surrounded by five giraffe and quite a few zebra. We stayed there a while watching them serenely graze. It was a scene that hadn’t changed in thousands of years. We were quite, almost reverent as we witnessed the animals going about their daily rituals. As the zebra and giraffe moved, Mike stealthily rolled our vehicle along a slight incline to ensure we maintained the best possible views. As Casey watched the giraffes move their necks up and down he turned to my dad and said, “Grandpa, I think it would be terrible to have Parkinson’s if you’re a giraffe. Don’t you?” My mom held back a smile.

 

“It’s not too fun if you’re a person like me either Casey,” my dad answered. Though his Parkinson’s is less advanced than his Alzheimer’s he moves slowly and has difficulty putting on shirts, climbing in safari vehicles and going up stairs without handrails.

 

“Everyone ready?” Mike asked. I nodded. I could tell there was something special coming as Mike had been intently listening to his radio. We set off at a brisk pace. Ten minutes later I heard Sukey gasp.

 

“Oh my! Look at that!” She said. Ahead of us were a lion and lioness walking down the road in our direction. Mike pulled over and stopped the engine.

 

“When they pass by don’t call out or place your hands outside,” Mike warned us. Casey was absolutely focused on the lions. He followed every direction Mike gave him, and Mike in turn treated him like an apprentice guide.

 

“Dad! Dad!” Casey called in a loud whisper. “Be careful with your camera but make sure you get pictures!” As the lions passed we barely breathed. In our overly safety conscious western world it’s a special treat to be yards from a wild lion in Africa. A short distance from the jeep the male paused to drink from a puddle. His muscles were immense and his lack of fear made it clear why he is known as the king of the jungle.

 

As they walked away Mike asked, “How was that everyone?” We were almost speechless. In two 3-hour game drives we had intimate encounters with lions, leopards, cape buffalo, giraffe and zebra. “Does anyone have any questions?”

 

“What’s that sound Mike,” Sukey asked. There was a bird call that we often heard going coooo-coo-cooooo.

 

“You mean that rhythmic cooing?” Mike asked. She nodded. Listen closely and I’ll share a secret with all of you. Casey leaned right in. In rhythm with the bird call Mike softly whispered, “Drink la-ager, drink la-ager.” I started laughing.

 

“What’s lager Dad?” Casey asked.

 

“It’s beer.”

 

“You mean the birds are telling us to drink beer?”

 

“Well they’re telling Mike to anyway…” Mike grinned as he headed back toward the main camp. I imagined Mike and his buddies growing up in South Africa tossing a few back as the birds told them to drrriinnk la-aager.

 

When we returned from the game drive I called my sister in Salt Lake City so my parents and I could wish her a Happy 40th birthday. When your youngest sibling turns 40 you can’t pretend you’re young any more, but then I know that from being with my dad.

 

After breakfast Casey went for a nature walking safari.

 

“Casey,” Mike said. “You see those little black pellets?” He pointed to small gumball size black droppings on the red dirt. “Those are impala droppings. What we do here is place them in our mouth and spit them to see who can make them go the farthest. Want to try?”

 

“Sure!” Before anyone could stop him Casey placed impala poop balls in his mouth.

 

“Casey!” My mom blurted out.

 

Sensing my mothers discomfort Mike said, “It’s perfectly safe, just grass and twigs and such,” as he put some impala poop in his mouth too. “There you go Casey. Spit it out as far as you can.” WHOOSH. Casey’s impala poop flew six or seven feet. “Very good Casey!” My son beamed at discovering his newfound poop spitting ability. It’s ironic at home he won’t eat broccoli or let different foods touch on his plate, but in Africa he’ll place poop in his mouth for sport.

 

Later that afternoon, just as I was headed to my massage, Casey came urgently sprinting towards me. I could see he was alarmed. “Dad! Dad! I lost my iPad!”

 

“Casey quit teasing me. I am already late for my massage.” His eyes started to well up.

“No dad, really. I lost it. I left it on the bus that brought us from the airport.”

 

“Really?” He nodded. “You’re not kidding?” He shook his head no. “Alright, well I am not buying you another one! That was really irresponsible. That iPad is worth $500 and that’s more than most of the people in this county earn in a year! This is a great time to notice it gone—you’re making me late for my massage.”

 

“I hate myself. I feel so stupid…” his voice trailed off. He had saved for nine months to buy that iPad. It was his most prized possession. Why did I just say that, I asked myself. If that had been my dad or a friend I would have said don’t worry, let’s have the lodge manager call the transport company and try to find it. Instead I acted without any compassion towards the person most dependent on me in the entire world. When I adopted Casey nothing prepared me for the lack of compassion, impulse toward anger and willingness to punish that sometimes occurs in our relationship. Fortunately, I usually recognize it quickly and do my best to behave better than my impulses want me to.

 

“Casey, Casey,” I murmured. “You are NOT stupid. You are one of the most capable people I know. I’m sorry I got angry, let’s go find the camp manager and see if they can call and find your iPad.”

 

“But what about your massage? You are going to be late!”

 

“Don’t worry buddy,” I smiled at him. “This is more important than a massage. I can get a massage anytime.” We spoke to the camp manger and after my massage we learned that they had located his iPad. When our transport takes us back to the airport in a few days Casey will get it back. My heart leapt at the relief on his face.

 

Our afternoon game drive started on the water. We were looking for hippos and elephants along the Sand River. “Is that a hippo?” Jesse asked, pointing to a small spot in the river hundreds of yards past us. It looked like it could be a log or rock in the water to me. Mike looked at it closely and all of a sudden it moved.

 

“Right! Yes it is Jesse! Excellent spotting! Well done!”

 

Casey, intent on fulfilling his responsibilities as an assistant guide added, “Good job Jessie, good job.” My mom and I smiled. He sounded like he was encouraging a fellow teammate as a junior high cross-country match. Casey takes his jobs seriously.

 

“Good news! Everyone hang on!” Mike yelled as he started driving fast. We were tense with excitement. Five minutes later we could see another Land Rover watching something. “Watch your head!” Mike called as he took the jeep directly into the brush. We knocked over small bushes and created a path where none existed. A pungent aroma of the plants we drove through surrounded us. This is going to be good, I exulted. “There! There!” Mike yelled excitedly pointing through the thicket. About 20 feet ahead was a solitary rhino.

 

“Whoa!” Casey said. The rhino looked like it would be more at home with dinosaurs than living in the Internet age. It was large, leathery and clearly not scared of anything. Several times Mike moved the vehicle to make sure the rhino didn’t mistake us for a female rhino or worse.

 

We still have a few game drives left—though I wouldn’t feel disappointed in our animal viewing if we had to leave today—and I’m looking forward to spending more time with my friends here from the previous cruise who are going home for Christmas after the safari. I booked a massage for my mom. She needs some relaxation as being the primary care giver for my dad is taxing. One of our fellow travelers is a geriatric physical therapist and she has been spending time with my parents in their room teaching them exercises to keep my dad ambulatory as long as possible. Earlier today my mom wandered into my room feeling frustrated.

 

“I don’t want to be mad at you dad, but he wore my shoes all day. I hate it when he does that because they are too small for him and he stretches them out.”

 

“Did he know what he was doing?” I asked.

 

“No, he just saw them in the closet and thought they were his,” she sighed. “He doesn’t even own a pair of Brooks tennis shoes…” her voice trailed off. She looked like she was going to cry.

 

“I’m sorry mom. I know this is really hard and I can’t imagine how different life is for you.”

 

“Sometimes I see those things and I almost cry, other times it makes me laugh. Things aren’t the same. They won’t ever be the same again. You know what Jack? My socks were rolled up in a ball in those shoes and he put them on too!” She smiled and we both started to chuckle. We share a deep unassailable love for my dad and decades of the experience of him leading our family, making all the plans, and guiding our trips. This is new territory for both of us and though neither of us likes it, we are going forward and making sure that we enjoy all the time we have left. Though life will never be the same, I don’t believe that necessarily means it has to be bad…

 

Thanks for reading,

 

Jack

[potterhill]

Oh Jack, your safari was great with my morning coffee. It brought back so many memories.

 

Your description of your Dad wearing your Mom's shoes brought tears to my eyes. But, she either has large feet or his are very small....or he has very sore feet today! It is good to find some humour in life's difficulties. This little story was about so much more than shoes.

 

So glad Casey found his Ipad. My son left his camera on the plane between Nairobi and Mombasa and we were able to retrieve from the airline. Absolutely amazing! So you can assure Casey he is not alone in forgetting things.

 

Mo

[orchestrapal]

Jack, we always enjoyed your reports, on your last cruise, but the addition this trip of Casey's observances and comments make these reports even more wonderful. You must really enjoy sharing these experiences with him.Can't wait for more of his experiences on the ship:)

[Marebear]

I am so happy that you saw all that you did!!!!! I love reading about your trip!!

[Mparis184]

Oh Jack, Impala poop- that is really being adventurous! I would be silly enough to try that too - just to say that I did it. What a fabulous experience for Casey. You are all blessed.

 

Thanks for the update.

 

Marion

[JoePDX]

We are going to have a great time.

 


Thanks for reading,

 


Jack

 

Jack -

 

I know you wrote the above specifically about the upcoming safari, but believe me, I feel you were directing it at me. I am so looking forward to the next 30+ days as I get to travel again with Jack & young Casey and your Dad & Mom and Sukey & Jesse - all through the vividness of your wonderful prose. Thank you for sharing with us the changes and challenges time has brought to your lives.

 

I don't need to wish you a wonderful trip - I'm certain that will be a given. Instead I'll wish for you fair seas and wonderful adventures and lots of new friends, which I hope you'll introduce us to as well. Will there be another Lumpy who wasn't what he appeared to be? Thank you Jack, once again, for taking us all along for the ride. What a wonderful gift that is.

 

I think it's time for me to pull out Cruising with Mom and Dad and read it, yet again. :D

 

Joe