Capnpugwash is going to the Canaries

[Justimagine]

Cap'n, I've been enjoying your descriptions thoroughly and hope you continue in some form, land or sea, after your return home. I look forward to meeting the author in early June.

 

Joanna

[capnpugwash]

Update No 12

 

P&O let us down; well not really, we arrived at Funchal 15 minutes early although we were delayed on the journey by the swells. We are sitting outside the harbour awaiting the departure at 8am of a local ferry and then we will back into our pier past the Queen Victoria and the Saga Pearl II, additionally the Balmoral is moored opposite us. We are the nearest ship to the dock entrance. Boudicca is anchored out in the roads and they are tendering into the Marina. The Oriana is due in today, as is the Independence of the Seas. We will not get our lines ashore until about 8.30 I imagine. It should be quite crowded in port today.

 

The laundry on our deck is still not operational so Mrs P ventured up to deck 7 which is the only other one on board. There was one empty machine and another 2 which had completed their cycles so she removed one load of washing, putting it in a basket and in the other machine was 1 pair of socks and a pair of underpants, she removed these as well. Having reloaded all three she joined me for breakfast. Returning to the washing she encountered a very irate unpleasant woman who accused her of taking her washing out of her machine. My wife explained to her very calmly that the washing cycle had finished so rather than just let it sit there she carefully removed it so that the machine could then be used again. This is perfectly normal practice but not for this florid faced harridan. She was using a tumble drier and when asked for her estimate of when it might finish she responded with the very useful “it will be finished when it is dry”. Obviously the Christmas spirit has passed her by.

 

I had a very warm sauna today and although it was 2 hours ago, I am still feeling quite hot. I should have spent longer under a cool shower. You would think that I should know that wouldn’t you. In the far distance I believe that I can see Oriana coming into port. I have no idea as to where she will moor, it all looks very crowded in Funchal. I know that she must be mooring in the port rather than waiting out in the roads with Boudicca as one of the entertainment officers is going on board her to meet her parents and I am fairly sure that she won’t be going by tender to her. There was a rumour circulating that Queen Victoria would vacate her berth at the entrance to the harbour and move outside to let Oriana moor there. Whether this happens this morning or tonight I have no clue. In fact it happened at about 12 noon, 15 minutes ago. There is no sign yet of IOTS but there is still plenty of time for it to arrive in time for the fireworks show.

 

We seem to have had a very successful morning doing the laundry. All three loads have been washed and dried and even put away. We end the year with empty laundry baskets. Our deck’s laundry remains locked tight, allegedly there are men working in there but I think the reception staff just tells us that to shut us up. We get home in 4 days and Artemis then leaves on a 97 or 100 day World Cruise. That should have plenty of incidents to get the moaners going, and those long trips are legendary for the miserable and complaining nature of a lot of the passengers. Good luck to them all, I am just glad that I am not joining them.

 

We left the ship and got two taxis to Reid’s which is a 5 to 10 minute ride Mrs P and our daughter went in one and Sam and I went in the other. On the way we discussed a price with our driver for a 1½ hour trip in his Mercedes and we agreed on 55 Euros to include the fare to the Hotel. I thought that it was a very good deal. The tea and snacks were wonderful and we were hungry enough to eat them as we had all missed lunch, I confess that I did have 7 cups of tea but they are much smaller than we have at home and the water is so clear, with no scum, a true delight. There were about twenty different teas, tisanes and infusions to choose from. After the tea we were picked up and the children went back to the ship as they are on first sitting. We had a great tour, Madeira is a beautiful island and everything grows here from mangoes and papayas to bananas. The growing in not just commercial, we saw these plants growing in the smallest of front gardens. The name of the driver is Eleutério Rodrigues and his numbers are mobile +351 917 273 730 and home +351 291 766 562 and he actually answers to his surname, Rodrigues. He is definitely worth contacting if you are coming to Madeira. He will be slightly more expensive perhaps for a morning tour than we paid but we got him in the afternoon and he needed to earn some cash. He speaks excellent English and is a very knowledgeable and pleasant man. His car will accommodate 3 adults in comfort or four skinny ones at a push. How you are skinny on a cruise is a mystery to me. Apparently the North of the island is supposed to be beautiful. We will skip tea and check it out the next time we are here.

 

We returned at just before 6pm and added the finishing touches to the kid’s outfits. I have just opened a bottle of champagne and Mrs P. advises me that she doesn’t want a glass, so I am in somewhat of a quandary, do I drink it all or do I save it for tomorrow. The problem I have is that as it gets colder it also gets more drinkable. It is New Years Eve and I think I should end this year as I intend to go on next year, so cheers to one and all.

 

Tonight is formal and the menu should be a little bit more special than normal. I am not that hungry at the moment but we don’t eat for two hours so my appetite may return. Tonight is fireworks night and we are informed that the display at midnight costs €1m and lasts for an entire 8 minutes. It is in the Guinness Book of Records as the best display in the world. As we drove around this afternoon the locals were all tossing bangers in the street and there were lots of explosions all around. It reminded me of when I was a child and we used to do exactly the same, always against the advice given of not to handle fireworks when they are lit, but I ask you, how are you going to throw them at someone if you don’t pick it up? None of my friends lost fingers but I know that it is dangerous, so don’t try this at home!

 

We have the Bachelors singing tonight, that is excitement beyond belief. I apologise to both of their fans if you happen to read this. Their claim to fame is that the original group spent 77 weeks in the UK record charts, if you remember those from the days of vinyl. Of course the charts went down to at least 50th position if not 100, so it may not be that great an achievement.

 

Dinner was a little tricky tonight, the choices were very poor and for some reason they gave the address to the haggis after I had been served and eaten. It was given very well by one of the very young looking second officers without a script and he had it word perfect. I chose the beef and Mrs P, the halibut, only to be told that it had all gone on first sitting. I spoke about this to the head waiter, Joseph, and he told us that there was no more fish apart from John Dory and that he was very sorry about it. I tried to explain that I was not criticising him or his staff but I felt that it was pretty poor when purely because we are second sitting we are treated as second class passengers. He had no real answer to this other than to admit that it shouldn’t happen which is patently true. I asked him if I could see the Chef responsible or the Food and Beverage manager as I was far from happy with the way the matter had been handled. The chef wouldn’t put in an appearance but he said that the F & B manager would come and see me. The next thing was a very large piece of Halibut was put in front of my wife from somewhere, and the source was never explained. The F & B manager never appeared. We left at 10.25 without our coffee or savouries as the meal had taken so long. We didn’t sit down until almost 9pm as the first sitting over-ran.

 

We went to the quiz but with the deduction of the point for winning last night, we had little chance. About 11.40 we went on deck to wait for midnight. When the witching hour arrived, the fireworks started, the ships all blew their whistles and the sky was lit by fantastic rockets bursting aloft. I have never seen fireworks such as these in my life. You should definitely come to Madeira to see them on one New Years Eve. It was so memorable that it will live with me forever. We had stayed moored in the port, which in some ways was a shame as the fireworks surrounded us, both in front and behind so the ships anchored in the sea outside the port certainly had a better view.

 

At 12.30 we left our berth and we are now sailing for Southampton, we arrive there in a little over 3 days. I woke this morning at 6.30 after only 5 hours of sleep, having woken I tried to just turn over and ignore the morning but it was no good, I couldn’t settle so I got up and prepared to face the new day and of course the new year. The sea is still a little lumpy although the ship’s navigation screen calls it moderate. It is a couple of degrees cooler at 16°c or 61°f.

 

Deck quoits was a challenge today as even though the sea now appears to be oily calm with just a few ripples, the ship continues to pitch and roll. We are steaming at 20.2 knots, the air temperature is unchanged. The shy is baby blue and there are a few wispy clouds. It is a pretty perfect day. We are roughly level with Gibraltar and we are sitting well out to sea, steering a direct course for the northwest corner of the Iberian Peninsula where the Bay of Biscay starts, I think we should enter it during the early hours of tomorrow morning.

 

More later.

[ds0907]

Really enjoyed reading your reviews capn and I think everyone has apart from one ignoramous whom I had a dig at Happy new year to you and your family and hope to hear from you soon

Dave

[u2cruiser]

Here's a link to a video of Madeira's 2010 NY spectacular fireworks. We can see you Cap'n :D

http://www.madeiraarchipelago.com/video/?v=fireworks

 

Thanks for your latest report. We will be calling at Madeira on our Transatlantic this year, so very interested in your day there.

 

So, laundry wars are alive and kicking? Not just rumours then.:eek:

[Matymoo]

Happy New Year to you and yours Cap'n, your updates are a delight as always. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your voyage with us.

 

Maty

-x-

[capnpugwash]

Update No 13

 

I was on my way to the cyb@study to upload this report and I was nearly run down by a couple of crew wheeling baggage trolleys laden with the book that Lynda Bellingham is on here to plug. I realise that we live in a commercial world nowadays but I do remember when chat show hosts like Michael Parkinson would have stars on their show that were just there to talk, not to plug a book, a DVD, a tour, a play or a film. Now they barely sit down before they are touting whatever it is that they wish to sell. I hate it and personally would never buy anything like that on board. I am hoping that if enough of us resist the company will change their policies and get real stars on to chat. It is a lonely uphill struggle and I know that I am in the minority, but I believe that I am also in the right.

In the on board timetable “Horizons”, they announce that they are unveiling their amazing collection of Tanzanite jewellery today, as though it is something special or unique to this ship, they advise that it is one not to miss. It would be different if this stuff wasn’t hawked around every cruise ship and always offered as though it had just been found and was actually something special. I grant that some of the pieces are quite attractive, but it is costume jewellery and will never replace the diamond.

 

We had the noon bells and announcement from the Bridge just now. On this ship it is made by the cadet officer, I suppose it builds his confidence in speaking so it seems like a good idea to me. It transpires that we are about 160 miles west of Portugal and we only have a touch over 1100 miles to run. At 20 knots that is a little under 55 hours.

 

It is approaching 1pm but I think that Mrs P and I will be skipping lunch after the minor excesses of yesterday, though we may be tempted with afternoon tea, it won’t quite be the same standard of Reid’s but one has to make compromises. I went out on deck at lunchtime as it was nice and sunny, I had been out for 10 minutes and the sun disappeared behind some cloud. I was staring idly over the side and a few porpoises surfaced and jumped around for a couple of minutes, very entertaining.

 

After this it was time for whist which we played against the clamour of two premier league football matches. It is really too bad that P&O give the few bridge players the use of a specially equipped card room whilst we have to play in awful conditions. You can complain all you like or even write to them and they just ignore you. I wish I knew what the solution was.

 

Tonight, the dress code is smart casual or sixties and seventies. Again, unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of this particular event so I will just wear something from the 2000s.

 

Our meal was excellent with no complaints from any one. Afterwards we went to the quiz and it has started to rain and feels a lot cooler. They have turned the heating up inside the ship. We continue along at just over 20 knots, the sea is very slight. We appear to be half way up the coast of Portugal. We have a force 3 wind and the temperature is 16°c or 61°f. We only have two days left now as we are due in at Southampton on Tuesday morning; it is horrible to think about it. I believe that the weather conditions are significantly better in the UK now compared to those that we had before we left, which is obviously an improvement.

 

It is now 7.30am on January 2 and we are still to reach the Bay of Biscay, looking at the chart of the ship’s TV we are about level with La Corunna in that piece of Spain that nestles on top of Portugal. We have the same weather stats as we had last night except the sea does seem a little more docile. It is called a slight sea. The sky is cloudy and dark grey and it feels chilly and damp. I think that we are heading for rain.

 

Today at 10.30 the Captain and her Officers are “revealing the inner workings of the behind the scenes equipment on board”. These things are often both very popular and interesting but I am a little concerned that with all the disgruntled passengers on board the discussion will centre on the provision of hot water to the cabins, the toilets, leaks in the swimming pools and the laundry. I will give it a miss as they are always jam packed and the attendees do ask the most stupid of questions and I can probably find something with which to occupy my time. The gym and sauna spring to mind although I may just limit it to the sauna. After all too much exertion this early in the year may not be good for me.

 

The laundry still has the closed for repair sign on the door but this morning I opened it and found a maintenance man in there, I asked if the machines were working and he said that they were but because of a leak in the ceiling it was closed. When asked if me using a machine would cause him any problems he said that it wouldn’t. I reported these facts to Mrs P and she rushed off and loaded three machines with our dirty clothing. These had finished by the time we had eaten breakfast so the clean washing has now been transferred to some of the tumble driers.

 

We went up for breakfast in the Conservatory and sat near to the area where the hot porridge and milk is kept; a lady with a hacking cough came along with her tray, put it down next to the porridge and removed the lid to serve a portion in a bowl. As she lifted the lid she was convulsed with a bout of coughing that would have sounded good in a sanatorium for TB patients. Needless to say I had Weetabix rather than risking that she may have contaminated the porridge. Perhaps I am paranoid but that is precisely why I dislike buffet food. I used to go to Southern Africa on business and we would meet up for a seminar in a rural retreat. It was very rustic and the dining room was a large thatched building with open sides to let the cooling breeze in. Of course it also let all the flies in as well. Breakfast, lunch and dinner were served here and it was always a buffet. The cold meats and cheeses always looked moist as though they were sweating and the whole thing had its’ fair share of flies hovering around. I could never bring myself to eat from it. I would have an omelette for breakfast and then just ice cream for the other meals. It only lasted 3 days so it was no big deal.

 

I had my usual coffee with the solo travellers and one of the ladies who we call Moaning Minnie because of her attitude was going on about my status in their group as an interloper because I am not travelling alone. No-one else is at all concerned including the entertainment officers that run it. Returning to our cabin across deck 9 I was struck by this very wintry wind that was blowing. It was not very nice at all, so I have turned up the heating in the cabin. I am just off to the sauna.

 

And I am now just back, it was lovely. The temperature in the sauna cabin is about 98°c. I lasted about 12 minutes and then called it a day. The one thing lacking is an area for lying down to relax on a comfy bed in the cool. I could have gone on deck but that would be too cold so I am chilling in the cabin instead.

 

It is almost time for 8 bells and the noon announcement; I wonder how the officers faired with the passengers this morning. Our laundry has reopened now, I wonder if our direct action this morning forced their hand or whether it is just coincidence. This must be how Che Guevara felt – if you know what I mean except our cause was more important!

 

The temperature is 3 degrees lower now and we are just entering the Bay of Biscay and heading straight for Ushant to enter the English Channel. We have slowed to 17 knots so that we don’t arrive early at Southampton. The forecast for our transit of the bay is good as the seas remain slight.

 

More later.

[capnpugwash]

My friends Heather and Malcolm are on this cruise, Heather is a very tall lady you can't miss her, as its such as small ship, you must of met her by now, can you say hello from me;):rolleyes:

 

I haven't seen them, what is their surname?

[Maryandi]

Thanks so much, Jim, for your chronicle of the trip.

 

Maybe, if no one buys any artwork on the ships - they'll discontinue them, also.

 

Glad to hear the laundry is working again - I sympathized with Mrs. P.

 

See you on the QM2 in June - enjoy the rest of the trip,

 

M.A.

[Host Sharon]

I haven't seen them, what is their surname?

 

They are friends of mine too and their surname is Dove. I hope they are plugging my book on board as much as Lynda B's !!

 

The food issue may be because I hear one or two of the freezers have broken down ! Hope everything gets sorted by Tuesday :rolleyes:

[Justimagine]

"It is a lonely uphill struggle and I know that I am in the minority..."

 

People with good taste are always in the minority.

 

Joanna

[capnpugwash]

Update No 14

 

Once again I skipped lunch, Mrs P succumbed and she ended up with a plate of grated carrot, the choices to accompany it were poor or not to her taste so she ended up with some chips. Carrot and chips may seem an odd combination to you, as it did to her but I can understand how it happens. The ship is quite cold now and whilst there are a few oddballs walking around in shorts, the majority are wearing many layers to keep warm. We played whist and had 33 people turn up, which was great and my daughter won the ladies prize, another key ring and pen set. That makes four of those sets that we have won this cruise. They are fairly useful things and nobody can ever find a pen in our house, so that problem might be resolved until they all disappear into handbags and other black holes.

 

Tonight is the final formal night and then tomorrow we must pack ready to disembark the following morning. We have just received gangway passes for Southampton and we are first off at 8.45am for some reason. I have just phoned Smithsforairports and advised them of our estimated time so hopefully they will meet us promptly. We could be out by 9am given a bit of luck and a following wind. By the time we have loaded up the luggage I imagine we will be home by 11.15am. That’s not too bad is it?

 

Lynda Bellingham clearly didn’t sell all of her books the other day as tomorrow at 11am there is the final photo and book signing session in the International Lounge, there seems to be no end to it. The evening cabaret entertainment tomorrow is left to the excellent on board troupe, The Headliners, I think that they will have performed on 9 evenings out of the 14 that we have had. That is very poor I believe and sadly the acts that replace them include a singer who can’t, a comedian who isn’t funny, an actress flogging a book and The Bachelors; enough said I think.

 

We are on our final bottle of Champagne tonight which I consider to be excellent timing on our part. I was going to save some of it for tomorrow but it slipped down so nicely. It is empty now. We had a very nice Gala dinner; the Brigade of Chefs came out to rapturous applause. We went up to the quiz and tied first but failed to guess the number of storeys on the Empire State Building in New York, we were 17 adrift and the opposition were 3 closer. We didn’t really want the prize and were quite happy to tie in first place.

 

We must be nearing the end of the cruise as we were presented with our dinner menus by our waiters, which is a lovely thing to do and the first time we had them we really appreciated it, but now it is a little bit of old hat. Normally we get them on the last night and I was going to tell our waiters tonight that we didn’t really want them but I was too late. They are now in the bin in our cabin as the paper is printed on both sides so it is no good even for scrap paper. Upon our return to the cabin the envelopes have appeared for tips to go in. they are quite low on P&O at £1.50 each per day for the steward and £1.60 for the waiters. We rounded it up as they have all been good and helpful. I have also looked after the two bar waiters who look after us in the evening, one of them wanted a model of the ship which they can’t purchase and the other I gave some cash to. They are both very happy I think.

 

At just past midnight we are currently a little over ⅓ of the way across the Bay of Biscay and thus far it has been smooth sailing, we should be through it by tonight, leaving us enough time to make Southampton on schedule. We are currently making 17 knots, the sea is slight, the air temperature is 10°c or 50°f and we are facing a force 6 wind. We are requested to put our cases out from 4pm this afternoon which seems awfully early to me.

 

I woke this morning at a little after 6am and our crossing of the Bay continues without incident, it is as smooth as the proverbial baby’s bottom; we have about 50 miles travel until we are through the Bay and we reach the Western Approaches which will lead us into the English Channel. We are steaming at 16.2 knots, into force 6 winds, the sea condition is slight and the temperature is 10°c or 50°f, so it is still doesn’t sound really cold, just cool, until you venture onto the deck and find that it is raining and it feels like icy water hitting you, very nasty.

 

This afternoon is the Chocoholic’s buffet in the main restaurant, it lasts for 1 hour and if you want to see many examples of greed you just need to walk through the doors. There is usually a lengthy queue to get in and then people wander around with plates piled high with various chocolate concoctions. As people leave the restaurant, the tables are littered with mountains of uneaten cakes and fancies; they do the same every year. We went once when we were on our first cruise but it is quite a disgusting sight to behold so we avoid it like the plague now. The other unavoidable event is the packing for home, but I won’t dwell on that unpleasant duty, other than to say that it does tend to spoil the day. It is the same every cruise so I ought to be used to it by now, but it is far from pleasant, especially if you have enjoyed the cruise as we have.

 

More later.

[cruiseanywhere2]

I have really enjoyed your reports and will miss them when you disembark. We are sailing on the Oceana to the Canaries in March (new ship for us) and are looking forward to our cruise even more now thanks to first hand, amusing reports from your self.

Safe journey home and thank you once again.

[u2cruiser]

Ugh.....I'm getting that dreaded 'end of cruise' feeling from reading your last report. It obviously doesn't get any easier the more you cruise.

 

On our cruise, it was Marco Pierre White signing his books. They were piled up all over the ship! (or so it seemed).

 

I have really enjoyed your voyage to The Canaries Cap'n. Thank you very much for taking the time to entertain us, though I suspect you really enjoy writing your journal. :)

[capnpugwash]

Update No 15

 

We had breakfast up in the Conservatory this morning and after my Weetabix I just fancied an omelette, they have two chefs behind the counter and I wrongly assumed that they would do this for me, no! If I want an omelette I must go down to the main restaurant as they don’t do them to order upstairs. Not very good I thought.

 

I had my final coffee with the solo travellers up in the Horizon lounge, it was freezing cold up there as they seem to have reduced the heating for some reason, we bid each other fond farewells, and after that I went down to deck 4 where the deck quoits were about to start, it was too cold for me there but as I walked along the outside deck the sun was actually warm if you were in shelter. The deck walkers were out in force so it was quite hazardous to loiter. I returned to our cabin to start the dreaded packing.

 

The sea is still almost calm and the temperature has dropped to 8°c or 46°f, we have just passed the Channel Islands and are about to turn slightly to the starboard to head along the English Channel. We have just had the noon bells and the weather is unchanged.

This will be my closing message until I get home tomorrow and I will post a link to the photos that I have taken, they may be of interest to you. Thank you for your interest and your kind comments, and most of all thank you all for taking the time to read these musings.

[u2cruiser]

Looking forward to your pictures Cap'n.

Safe journey home.

[Gerrym]

Cheers Cap'n. a very good read.

 

I still can't get over you joining the singles, very funny!

 

 

 

 

:)

 

Gerry

[Jules.]

It's been a very enjoyable read, thank you :)

[Summergee]

Thank you for sharing your holiday with us all. I eaagerly await your next voyage.

Happy New Year to you and your family.

[heywood]

They're a pleasure to read - thanks :)

 

Wishing you a safe journey home and looking forward to the photos.

[tom_uk]

Many thanks for these posts, Capn.

[Presto2]

Thanks for your amazing posts - have looked forward to every 'episode' !

Safe journey home -

 

:)

[conniedoug]

Cheers Cap'n. a very good read.

 

I still can't get over you joining the singles, very funny!

 

 

 

 

:)

 

Gerry

 

Gerry ... My mum has an expression "Least said, soonest mended"!!!:D:D:D

I too found it hilarious! Hilarious & very telling!

 

Anamaria

[cunard candy]

Have really enjoyed following your journey.

 

Is the chocoholic tea a P & O thing? Do they do this on every P & O cruise?

 

I cannot bear to see the waste & greed that some cruisers feel they must do at teatime:(

[DamianG]

Thanks for another great blog Cap'n. Happy cruising in 2011.

[BrianI]

Is the chocoholic tea a P & O thing? Do they do this on every P & O cruise?

Only on longer cruises. You don't get one on a 7 day cruise.

It is served at 3pm in one of the restaurants and replaces the normal afternoon tea on that day. It is usually combined with a tour of the galley (kitchen)

Brian