Wedding or a 27 day dream trip?

[Florida_cruisers]

What would you do?

 

My best friend is debating whether to have her dream wedding (first wedding and finally found the dream guy at 35) for $20k which she would pay for it herself as the groom will pay for the rings and a honeymoon to Mexico or go on a 27 day cruise out of Australia to New Zealand, Tahiti, Fiji, the French Polynesian islands, and Hawaii. The $20k includes airfare, hotel stay pre and post cruise in Australia and Hawaii and a few thousand for extra expenses. Well the entire trip itself will probably be closer to 35 days if you include pre and post cruise stays.

 

It is hard for me to say because I already had my dream wedding but now dream of this cruise as well; maybe for my 50th birthday in 17 years :rolleyes:....

 

The wedding is only one day but she has been wanting it for so long, but she also loves to travel and this would be an amazing trip that after having children would be very hard to do later until the kids are out of the home and/or she retires.

[paul929207]

Personally, I would take the trip. My wife & I got married in our home with about 40 family & friends present. We then went to Mexico for three weeks. (25 years ago when it was safer there.)

[macksmom330]

In my opinion, I would do the dream vacation. Because lets face it, they aren't spring chickens and I'm sure that if they want children they will be starting soon. And there is nooo way they will ever get a chance like this again to go on a 27+ day vacation with a child!!! I've been married twice. My first wedding was MY dream wedding, and it was inexpensive, but nice. The people there and the memoies are what made it, not some expensive flowers and china. We didn't go broke or put ourselves in debt over it. And look, less than a year later it was over! Your friend could have a nice intimate wedding at home, then go away on this big trip. OR they could get married while on the trip! I'm just saying that a marriage may not last forever, but the memories will. Plus, the could always save up and in a couple years re-new their vows and do it the way they wanted to the first time! Good luck to your friend, and I hope she does what makes her happy!!!

[johneeo]

What would you do?

 

My best friend is debating whether to have her dream wedding (first wedding and finally found the dream guy at 35) for $20k which she would pay for it herself as the groom will pay for the rings and a honeymoon to Mexico or go on a 27 day cruise out of Australia to New Zealand, Tahiti, Fiji, the French Polynesian islands, and Hawaii. The $20k includes airfare, hotel stay pre and post cruise in Australia and Hawaii and a few thousand for extra expenses. Well the entire trip itself will probably be closer to 35 days if you include pre and post cruise stays.

 

It is hard for me to say because I already had my dream wedding but now dream of this cruise as well; maybe for my 50th birthday in 17 years :rolleyes:....

 

The wedding is only one day but she has been wanting it for so long, but she also loves to travel and this would be an amazing trip that after having children would be very hard to do later until the kids are out of the home and/or she retires.

 

In my circle, it is customary to provide a gift in cash to the husband and wife that would AT LEAST cover the cost for our seats at the reception.

 

Therefore, if it were me, I would have the wedding, get the cash, then do the trip.

[sail7seas]

IMO, only the bridge and groom can make that decision and no one should try to influence them. Her best friend would not want to hear ten years from now she so regrets she didn't have the wedding she always dreamed of. Or the reverse,,,,,,, why didn't she take the fabulous honeymoon.

 

I'd listen to her talk it out be there as her friend but no way I would want to influence her choice.

 

JMHO......

[macksmom330]

That's very true sail7seas!

[mszpolaris]

write a list of positive and negatives!

 

i would be the girl who would want my own fairytale wedding but then again a dream vacation is amazing

 

i would agree with johneeo...have the wedding and ask for monetary gifts and then put that to the dream vacation or one similar to it.

 

or compromise both..have a less expensive wedding and go on a less expensive cruise. the options are endless.

 

as long as you are there to help her out and be supportive of whatever decision she makes I'm sure everything will work out for the best :)

[sail7seas]

IMO, only the bridge and groom can make that decision and no one should try to influence them. Her best friend would not want to hear ten years from now she so regrets she didn't have the wedding she always dreamed of. Or the reverse,,,,,,, why didn't she take the fabulous honeymoon.

 

I'd listen to her talk it out be there as her friend but no way I would want to influence her choice.

 

JMHO......

 

 

Ooops, sorry. Guess you know I meant bride. :o

[Happy ks]

I watch these wedding shows that are on TV with amazement. Especially the ones who are competing for "best wedding". Thousands of $$ on the dress, the flowers, the cake, etc... and it's all gone in one day. Sure you have beautiful photos, but you're no more married than if you went to the courthouse with just yourselves and grabbed a witness there.

 

I'd go for the trip. A very small wedding with only close family and friends can be done before if they wish. Just as memorable as a large wedding, since the big ones have aquaintances that you only speak with for a moment, if at all.

 

We had our white wedding, but I cut so many corners that we spent around 10% of the typical wedding of that era.

 

Your friend needs to sit down and really decide what is more important to her life, a one day party or a trip of a lifetime.

[6rugrats]

Without a doubt, the trip. She can still have a very, very nice small wedding. Weddings are only a few hours. A few hour party vs. a 35 day trip to some of the most romantic spots in the world. An easy choice for me!

 

The trip would be amazing! I don't understand these crazy weddings that cost $$$$$$$.

 

Why doesn't she look into having the wedding, or even a vow renewal when she's in Tahiti?

[jerseygirl3]

I would spend the money on the dream wedding.

 

Financial circumstances may allow them to do the dream trip somewhere in the future, but their wedding day only comes around once.

[jkneern]

IMHO.....She could have a beautiful wedding and a fabulous honeymoon for 1/2 the price mentioned.

[DanJ]

I'm so over the idea of having to overspend on these symbolic things that are more for show than substance. As someone posted above, you are still just as married. If the bride really wants to show off, and convince herself that people will be talking about what an amazing wedding that was years later (they won't), then tell her to go overboard and make the local photographers, caterers and DJ's happy.

 

On the other hand, as someone else posted above, weddings seem to operate on a cost-recovery basis now as well, so letting it be known that because the couple is older and somewhat established in life, they don't need china patterns and picture frames for gifts, and a cash gift would be more appropriate. Then they can take the trip with the gift money. A lot of people don't like giving cash, but that is changing, as more and more people realize cash is always the right color and size LOL

[sail7seas]

I'm so over the idea of having to overspend on these symbolic things that are more for show than substance. As someone posted above, you are still just as married. If the bride really wants to show off, and convince herself that people will be talking about what an amazing wedding that was years later (they won't), then tell her to go overboard and make the local photographers, caterers and DJ's happy.

 

On the other hand, as someone else posted above, weddings seem to operate on a cost-recovery basis now as well, so letting it be known that because the couple is older and somewhat established in life, they don't need china patterns and picture frames for gifts, and a cash gift would be more appropriate. Then they can take the trip with the gift money. A lot of people don't like giving cash, but that is changing, as more and more people realize cash is always the right color and size LOL

 

 

Dan.....

 

Are you 'so over it' because you've already been there and done it and now have a different viewpoint?

 

If so, maybe bride to be wants her turn to 'be there and do it' too. We've had our chances and now it is someone else's turn to make the choice.

 

I don't mean to single you out per se but you expressed what I think is an important point that others may not be considering.

 

JMHO

[Talisker92]

Having been married 3 times, first was full blown, second was in the Las Vegas Courthouse, the last was the most memorable.

We were married in Santorini Greece in the middle of our cruise.

IMO, yes, the wedding is one day, but the preparations go over weeks-the dress, the bridesmaids dresses, the rehearsal dinner,flowers, etc.

I would suggest taking the cruise, and maybe getting married on the ship if possible.

[luv2cruz62]

Why doesn't she get married ON the cruise? The best of both worlds!!:D

[jerseygirl3]

Why doesn't she get married ON the cruise? The best of both worlds!!:D

 

That sounds like a great alternative, but I'm guessing she wouldn't have any guests at her wedding. Not many people can afford a 27K vacation.

[bqkali]

As someone who recently got married (May), I have to vote for the wedding.

 

I never had a preconceived idea of a "dream wedding" and didn't daydream about being a bride while growing up...and even while planning the wedding, rarely dreamt about my wedding day (okay, a little bit during dress fittings :)).

 

But the feelings of being somewhere with all my friends and family celebrating such a joyous occasion in my life entirely tops any vacation, even if it's 35 blissful days in the South Pacific. I cannot imagine any event ever coming close to topping that. It wasn't a fancy affair, not an expensive night (well, not by wedding standards :eek:), but it was the most special day of my life just to be surrounded by the important people in my life while dancing, eating, and proclaiming my love.

 

I love to travel - have three trips planned for 2011, not including weekend getaways, which I take at LEAST once a month - so this is saying a lot for me.

 

Now...best of both worlds...if I had $20K I could've had my wedding AND quite the honeymoon :D We didn't feel like we skimped on either and our budget was still under that :rolleyes:

 

No one can decide for your friend...but luckily, I think this is a win-win situation!!

[Krazy Kruizers]

we also married late in life

 

we chose to buy a house rather than have a big wedding or a honeymoon -- we weren't into cruising in those days

 

so...........

 

my vote is for the cruise

[DanJ]

Dan.....

 

Are you 'so over it' because you've already been there and done it and now have a different viewpoint?

 

If so, maybe bride to be wants her turn to 'be there and do it' too. We've had our chances and now it is someone else's turn to make the choice.

 

I don't mean to single you out per se but you expressed what I think is an important point that others may not be considering.

 

JMHO

 

Maybe bad phrasing on my part, but IMHO, weddings and funerals are huge money grabs designed to play on people's sentimentalities. The diamond companies still advertise the guy spending 2 months salary on the ring. Give me a break. Is he some kind of cheapskate to spend a grand or 2 on a ring then? Does he love her less? $20k only buys a moderate wedding these days and that's just a shame. To each their own, and if someone wants to spend that money on a wedding, I hope it's to make themselves happy and not for future bragging rights.

[MrsPete]

Rather than splurge on one or the other, I'd split the difference: I'd have a moderate wedding and shorter cruise. Should be very possible on that budget.

[PaganView]

My husband is a minister so I've seen lots of weddings over the years. Our joke now is that the length of the marriage is inversely proportionate to the amount of money spent on the wedding.

 

A church wedding and a funeral need the same basic things: flowers, music, minister, nice outfit and food. Why is it that a funeral can be put together in less than a week but it takes months for a wedding?

 

If your friend is someone that always dreamed of her wedding day and kept a wedding idea folder even when she wasn't dating, then obviously the perfect big wedding day is for her.

 

But if she's not interested in the bells and whistles of a wedding, I would take the trip.

 

The practical part of me says split it and save 10K for a house or college fund and cruise with the rest.

[Martini Mom]

Simple, small wedding and the awesome dream trip! :D

[debshomespun]

Simple, small wedding and the awesome dream trip! :D

 

Yep, my sentiments too! After 32 yrs of marriage, I'd definitely go for the great honeymoon. She can have a nice small wedding, and still get the magnificent cruise. If they are planning on a family, it will happen soon, and then the availability of cruising will be much smaller. The memories will last a lifetime from the wedding, and the cruise. A dream wedding is having your family and "best friends" attend, not everyone you know.

 

Lets hope the OP comes back to let us know what her friend ends up doing!

[lucyintheskywithdiamonds]

are u kidding?? the heck with wedding plans,,, take the trip!!!!:)