Cruising after divorce, a strange question.

[PhoenixDawgCruising]

I am currrently just starting a divorce after almost 10 years of marriage (yeah, boo hoo for me). Cruising is something my husband and I have only done together, as a family, with our kids. Now I'm sitting here wondering if I will ever want to cruise again, or will I always be reminded of him when I cruise.:(

 

Also wondering if I should flat out cancel my booking for Allure in 2013, or just remove his name from the reservation.

 

Anyone having any experience with this odd question, please feel free to comment.:)

[6rugrats]

Looks like you have eight months before your cruise. I'd wait a bit since you have so long until final payment. You may feel a lot differently a few months from now.

 

Or, perhaps it's time to try something new? Give it some time and you will know the right choice.

[newbiecruiser09]

No personal experience with your situation but wanted to say I'm sorry that you are going through this very difficult time. I would recommend that you do not make any rash or quick decisions (about anything) for right now. I would wait til closer to final payment time to see how things are (any hope of reconciliation?) and see how you feel about cruising then. It may be a good thing to do to help you move on or it may not feel right and another type of vacation may be better. Give yourself some time and again, stay strong.

[crusinmama06]

I have a friend who cruised with us on one of our cruises with his family. He was all set to cruise again when he was faced with the same situation. He decided to GO. He joined the roll calls here. Got active with some other people and he went with the kids. He removed her name from the cruise. And off he went.

 

Yes I know it was VERY difficult for him to do it because it was such a sad time - but it gave him and the kids a chance to reconnect - doing something they loved.

 

I cruise without my husband so logistically - its easy ;) But give yourself some time to heal. Don't cancel yet.

[Keith1010]

Looks like you have eight months before your cruise. I'd wait a bit since you have so long until final payment. You may feel a lot differently a few months from now.

 

Or, perhaps it's time to try something new? Give it some time and you will know the right choice.

 

Excellent advice.

 

Keith

[Carolin]

The cruise right after my divorce was the best cruise ever. I went with friends and we all had a great time. Go on your cruise with a friend and enjoy life.

[BeagleOne]

I'm sorry.

 

Why not wait a while, once things settle down a bit, and then decide? IMHO you *should* take a cruise after your divorce...even if it's not the one you're currently booked on...just to see whether you DO like cruising without your husband. If you do, great. If you don't, at least you'll have tried it.

[desertminky]

I was married for 7 years, and now have been divorced for almost a decade. I do cruise with my kids - generally as part of my extended family with my Mom, brother and his family. It's a great way to spend some time with the kids, and also have some time to yourself when they are at the kids club. Plus, it's a much needed break from dishes, housework etc.!

 

I never cruised with my ex-husband, so did not have any memories of that. I just want to tell you that it does get better, although the first year is very difficult. Good luck!

[mitsugirly]

I was married for 18 years and we actually took our first cruise back in the 80's...and was a anniversary/Valentines Day cruise for us. So, it did have some significant meaning when we started cruising.

 

After the divorce (I am remarried now for 6+ years) me and my new husband started cruising together several years ago. I have to say, it doesn't remind me of the "days from years gone by" that's for sure.

 

Each person is different. I myself wish I would have thought of a divorce cruise back then. :D Yea, that would have definitely helped. (But then again a cruise helps me with just about everything...:p).

[Gatrcruzer]

So sorry to her about the divorce - this must be such a painful time for you. Sending hugs your way.

 

I agree with the others - wait and see how you are feeling about things when final payment comes closer.

 

It does get better, and sooner than you think. You will get through this and be stronger afterward. Hang in there!

[Sinppu]

I hope you'll feel better soon.

 

I'd take the cruise. It's quite a long time and if you won't take it, you'll never know. If it does make you sad, at least you tried.

[PhoenixDawgCruising]

Thanks everyone. I haven't changed the booking yet, as some of you pointed out payment isn't due until Jan. or so, so there's no rush.

 

I really hope this won't ruin cruising for me, I don't think it will, but one can never be sure.

 

Thanks again for all the thoughts.:)

[Nvtitan89]

I find it odd that you cruised with your husband and nada cruise booked and all of a sudden are starting a divorce.

[njmomof2]

I find it odd that you cruised with your husband and nada cruise booked and all of a sudden are starting a divorce.

 

I'm not even sure I understand what this means?

 

I will tell you that I too divorced last year after 16 years married. We cruised as a family, and then I did a few cruises with my kids and mom, without xH, and with my sister or my mom alone.

 

You have a number of months until the cruise. I will tell you that if you're just starting the process now, your cruise may come along before it's all over. I told my xH I wanted the divorce on Labor Day Monday 2011. Didn't file my complaint until February 2012. Ours was final in September 2012. So it took about a year. Some take more, some less. Especially with the kids.

 

Remember that if you have deposits down, he may feel that 1/2 of that is his and his lawyer may want you to reimburse him if you take him off the reservation. Also, be aware of what money you would use to pay for the cruise if you do decide to go, as it could be considered joint funds.

 

I see you are in CA, which is a community property state. Here in NJ, it is equitable distribution. I would make sure before you make any decisions you talk with your lawyer.

 

Good luck. It's a hard road but if you're sure of your decision, when it's all said and done, you will emerge a stronger, happier person.

 

EDIT: I didn't realize that this was from 2012 so my advice above may be worthless. Hope that whatever you decided to do, all is good.

[gerif]

I find it odd that you cruised with your husband and nada cruise booked and all of a sudden are starting a divorce.

 

I find it REALLY odd that you would post this - and especially in response to a year old thread.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Just the sentence doesn't make sense. I think most people somehow do a search and not even check the date of the last posting.

 

Just to add my own friend's story. Some years ago, a friend (we were roomies in college) called me and asked if I wanted to go to Hawaii with her. She had booked the tour with her then-husband but decided to separate from him. This was just a few weeks before the tour, so most likely she couldn't cancel at this point.

 

I said yes as I had never gone to Hawaii at that point. I also had vacation days but no real plans to use them. My boss had given me some tude as I had taken a day off the week before and said, "you just took time off.":rolleyes:

 

We went on the trip: 9 days seeing three islands (probably more like 8 days with the trip to and from LA). She filed for divorce and three months later married her lab partner in a graduate class she was taking. I started looking for a new job, as I felt my boss wasn't respecting me (a former VP there had also called me and suggested I interview for his company, so obviously someone appreciated me).

[kelleigh229]

I just got divorced 8 months ago. Just shy of my 10th anniversary. My ex and I always had a fantastic time on our cruises. We also always traveled with friends and my parents. Now...I'm going on my first cruise without him and my parents aren't coming either.

 

But, I'm starting new memories with my son. And I am THRILLED about it!! It is going to be different, to say the least. But I'm so excited to give it a try.

 

Good news is my bar tab will be lower and I won't have to spend my entire cruise tracking my ex down in a bar. Because that is ALL he liked to do. So, there's that too!

 

Enjoy!!

 

 

NOTE - just realized this is a year old. Didn't even notice that until now. Saw it at the top and assumed it was new. woops!!

[maureencruiser]

I find it odd that you cruised with your husband and nada cruise booked and all of a sudden are starting a divorce.

Yeah, did you even read her post? Phoenix has been a member here for a long time and was married for 10 years. If you look at her signature, you will see that in that time, she and her family did almost 20 cruises. Were you under the impression she went on 1 cruise with her hubby then immediately filed for divorce so she could run off with the room steward or something? Also, as others have said, this thread is a year old. Her hubby is still in her avatar picture so maybe they worked it out since then. Why don't you come back and explain what you mean. BTW, punctuation is your friend.