Baseball caps on formal nights?

[ShakyBeef]

Manners never go out of style. I am puzzled by this post since top hats, canes, white gloves, pillbox hats and allowing men to make all the decisions have absolutely nothing to do with manners.

 

I did get quite a chuckle after reading the first sentence. Women curtsy -- not men. They bow at the waist. While not done much nowadays, I cannot imagine anyone being criticized for doing this. Some men still kiss the hands of women ..... such a nice touch.

 

Thanks! I'm glad to know it wasn't just me (and my DH).:)

[ger_77]

I'm bothered a whole lot more by tablemates who are, for example, real estate brokers, insurance salesmen, investment brokers, etc., who pester you (or brag) throughout the dinner than a guy wearing a baseball cap on his head. Although I might not like seeing someone with a cap on at the table, it sure as heck isn't going to damage my dining experience.

 

I fully agree, seeing someone in a baseball cap at dinner on formal night is not going to make or break my cruise experience. I may not agree with their choice, but I don't have any control over it. What I do have some domain over is my own family - we've taught our boys that the baseball caps come off at the door, no matter what. We would rather look at their "hat head" than a baseball cap any time. They are both grown now and will soon be raising children of their own; I believe the cap rule will continue through another generation, just as the "please and thank you" rule will.

 

On the other hand, my sister sent us a photo of their family dinner table at Christmas and every one of the males was sitting at the table with their baseball caps on. Nothing I could do about it, so I just carried on.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[ozgeordielass]

Similar to MrOz my Father had a significant scar on his head from melanoma surgery & he often wore hats. In all honesty I can't recall if he wore them in 'finer' restaurants, but I know for sure he did in more casual establishments.

 

The only person he ever gave an explanation to was his parish Priest because he wanted to keep his head covered during Mass. He was self conscious about it and certainly would not have discussed his condition with a stranger nor would he give a hoot if it made someone else "uncomfortable". He didn't "look sick" and IMHO he owed nobody an explanation. In fact, he would have considered it the height of rudeness had someone called him out for it or tattled on him to a Maitre'd or other personnel.

 

Look at it from the other side. Let's suppose you had come across my Father in a situation where you felt his head being covered was inappropriate & you reported it. How would you & your wife feel if someone had approached him, asked him to remove his hat, and his scar were revealed? I would hope you would be just as embarrassed as the person you forced into that position.

 

I liken this attitude with people who would make comments to my "normal-looking" friend when she would pull her convertible into a handicapped parking space...the look on their faces when she would open the door & begin to re-assemble her wheelchair was priceless. :eek:

 

With all due respect, sometimes the best course of action is to mind your own business.

 

Thank you so much for this reply, and to all others you have supported us and hoped we have a great cruise.

 

My husband is very very badly scarred and part of his skull missing after fallen as a child aged 7 on electric railways lines, he spent on and off the firts 5 years after the accident in hospital and had his last skin graft operation when he was aged 24. He has scars all over his body from the electricity going through his body but not as bad as his head.

 

All his life he has worn some form of hat ....as a kid he had to wear a skull cap for protection. So he has all his life been very self aware of his massive scar over most of the back of his head.

 

We will NOT have to explain to anyone at our table as there will only be family sitting with us. The only person I will explain it to is the Maitre D'

 

I pray nothing like that happens to all you have put us down.

[Laurie S.]

Have a wonderful cruise!!! :)

[mr green]

I will agree with you there. I'm fixated on the thought of a complete stranger passing judgment and embarrassing a family member. Beyond my loved ones, the idea of that happening to anyone in polite society breaks my heart.

 

Words fail me, WHO is passing 'judgement' on a sick person?

 

john

[Travelcat2]

Thank you so much for this reply, and to all others you have supported us and hoped we have a great cruise.

 

My husband is very very badly scarred and part of his skull missing after fallen as a child aged 7 on electric railways lines, he spent on and off the firts 5 years after the accident in hospital and had his last skin graft operation when he was aged 24. He has scars all over his body from the electricity going through his body but not as bad as his head.

 

All his life he has worn some form of hat ....as a kid he had to wear a skull cap for protection. So he has all his life been very self aware of his massive scar over most of the back of his head.

 

We will NOT have to explain to anyone at our table as there will only be family sitting with us. The only person I will explain it to is the Maitre D'

 

I pray nothing like that happens to all you have put us down.

 

I sincerely doubt that anyone is singling out your husband (who I doubt would be wearing a baseball cap when there are much more acceptable head coverings available). You should not have to explain to anyone. This thread is about the many men who think that wearing a baseball cap in a restaurant is acceptable and/or it is their right to wear them. In some countries (believe England is one of them), there are signs outside of some dining establishments that state that baseball caps are not allowed.

 

As strange as it may sound to some people born in the U.S., baseball (and football) are unknown in many parts of the world. In most Asian countries, the focus is on science -- working on preventing/curing the diseases that affect too many people. The fact that the U.S. is overly focused on sports is concerning........ where are the young men and women who care about important things?

 

Sorry to be off-topic. Cruise lines are, for the most part, privately owned. They may impose any restrictions they wish upon their passengers. Passengers have a choice....... if wearing a baseball cap is that bloody important, choose a cruise line where it is permitted. Do not expect rules to change for you (again, illness and religious issues aside - however, there is no religious or medical requirement that I am aware of that requires baseball caps).

[PRWeezer]

Words fail me, WHO is passing 'judgement' on a sick person?

 

john

 

My point is that all you would have seen with my Father is someone wearing a hat, not a "sick person" as he did not "look" sick. OK this is the last I will say on this subject: YOU have made it quite clear that you and your wife would be bothered by someone wearing a hat in the MDR, to the point that you would speak to someone about it if the person did not personally tell you why such hat was worn. IMHO you are passing judgment.

 

While I haven't read every post in this thread I would guess I'm not the first to say:

 

I typically rely on the staff/management of an establishment to deal with anyone who does not meet the criteria (dress code, behavior, language, etc) of said establishment. Yes, there are thresholds of decorum that may be breached, at which point I would say something to management if I thought it was not already aware. Otherwise I would trust that the staff at hand would be mindful of any breach of standard and would respond accordingly. Someone wearing a ball cap into a 'formal' setting is blatantly obvious. I trust that I would not be the first to notice & as such would not feel obligated to bring it to attention of management.

[iheartbda]

PRWeezer, a person after my own heart:)......we are on the same wave length that another poster will not understand, no matter what. Plain and simple, no explanation is needed to be given to anyone.

[pris993]

My point is that all you would have seen with my Father is someone wearing a hat, not a "sick person" as he did not "look" sick. OK this is the last I will say on this subject: YOU have made it quite clear that you and your wife would be bothered by someone wearing a hat in the MDR, to the point that you would speak to someone about it if the person did not personally tell you why such hat was worn. IMHO you are passing judgment.

 

While I haven't read every post in this thread I would guess I'm not the first to say:

 

I typically rely on the staff/management of an establishment to deal with anyone who does not meet the criteria (dress code, behavior, language, etc) of said establishment. Yes, there are thresholds of decorum that may be breached, at which point I would say something to management if I thought it was not already aware. Otherwise I would trust that the staff at hand would be mindful of any breach of standard and would respond accordingly. Someone wearing a ball cap into a 'formal' setting is blatantly obvious. I trust that I would not be the first to notice & as such would not feel obligated to bring it to attention of management.

 

I think the problem is that many of us feel that we can not rely on management to deal with anyone who does not meet the criteria. If we could it would be great. Sad commentary on management on ships.

[waterloopieruw]

Even if this were the case, you'd think they might go for something a bit more "formal" than a ball cap for formal night. A nice fedora, perhaps?

 

I suspect the the cap wearers are hiding the scars left after brain removal surgery. No mention is made if it is caps with peaks at the back!

[Travelcat2]

I think the problem is that many of us feel that we can not rely on management to deal with anyone who does not meet the criteria. If we could it would be great. Sad commentary on management on ships.

 

Management on Regent Seven Seas do insure that passengers adhere to the dress codes. We reently saw a group of senior entertainers in the dining room -- the eldest (in his 80's I would guess) wore a hat -- not baseball cap. He was asked to remove it.

 

My point is really about baseball caps. If you need to wear a hat for some reason and will be on a cruise ship partaking in formal night (which is an option not a requirement), pack a hat/head covering that is more appropriate than a baseball cap.

[tulsacubfan]

Even Cubs fans don't consider a ball-cap a religious thing.

 

Umm....that depends....some are.... I have one that says "bricks and ivy a timeless tradition"....that might be a "religious thing" ... it does, after all, refer to the baseball mecca.... :D

[tulsacubfan]

Similar to MrOz my Father had a significant scar on his head from melanoma surgery & he often wore hats. In all honesty I can't recall if he wore them in 'finer' restaurants, but I know for sure he did in more casual establishments.

 

The only person he ever gave an explanation to was his parish Priest because he wanted to keep his head covered during Mass. He was self conscious about it and certainly would not have discussed his condition with a stranger nor would he give a hoot if it made someone else "uncomfortable". He didn't "look sick" and IMHO he owed nobody an explanation. In fact, he would have considered it the height of rudeness had someone called him out for it or tattled on him to a Maitre'd or other personnel.

 

Look at it from the other side. Let's suppose you had come across my Father in a situation where you felt his head being covered was inappropriate & you reported it. How would you & your wife feel if someone had approached him, asked him to remove his hat, and his scar were revealed? I would hope you would be just as embarrassed as the person you forced into that position.

 

I liken this attitude with people who would make comments to my "normal-looking" friend when she would pull her convertible into a handicapped parking space...the look on their faces when she would open the door & begin to re-assemble her wheelchair was priceless. :eek:

 

With all due respect, sometimes the best course of action is to mind your own business.

 

Maybe it is because I spent so many years in the medical field working with cancer patients, but I think part of this stems with society as a whole not being "tolerant" (for lack of a better word) of anyone having any "disfigurement" and anyone who is not what society deems to be normal. People (and I am sure I would be the same way) feel they must hide any "abnormality" from society or be looked down upon by the "pretty people" and are made to feel less worthy. Perhaps if we all were able to accept others "imperfections" we wouldn't be having this conversation as people would not feel the need to hide a scar.

 

Regarding your "normal" looking friend and the handicapped space....you have to admit there are many, many able bodied people who are simply too lazy to walk will park in a handicapped spot when they don't need it and do not have a permit. I completely agree with not driving around with a handicapped permit hanging from your mirror, but perhaps if those who had a permit would hang it on the mirror before getting out of the car, people would not make the comments.

 

And it isn't always the driver that needs the handicapped spot. I know I would often park in a handicapped spot (with my mom's permit). A "perfectly normal person" (me) would get out of the car and sometimes get odd looks. I didn't need the handicapped space for me or because I couldn't push my mom's wheelchair a great distance. I needed the space because I could not get my mother out of the car and into her wheelchair when parked in a normal space. It just doesn't work. People need to think before using a handicapped space they don't need.

[Laurie S.]

Maybe it is because I spent so many years in the medical field working with cancer patients, but I think part of this stems with society as a whole not being "tolerant" (for lack of a better word) of anyone having any "disfigurement" and anyone who is not what society deems to be normal. People (and I am sure I would be the same way) feel they must hide any "abnormality" from society or be looked down upon by the "pretty people" and are made to feel less worthy. Perhaps if we all were able to accept others "imperfections" we wouldn't be having this conversation as people would not feel the need to hide a scar.

 

Regarding your "normal" looking friend and the handicapped space....you have to admit there are many, many able bodied people who are simply too lazy to walk will park in a handicapped spot when they don't need it and do not have a permit. I completely agree with not driving around with a handicapped permit hanging from your mirror, but perhaps if those who had a permit would hang it on the mirror before getting out of the car, people would not make the comments.

 

And it isn't always the driver that needs the handicapped spot. I know I would often park in a handicapped spot (with my mom's permit). A "perfectly normal person" (me) would get out of the car and sometimes get odd looks. I didn't need the handicapped space for me or because I couldn't push my mom's wheelchair a great distance. I needed the space because I could not get my mother out of the car and into her wheelchair when parked in a normal space. It just doesn't work. People need to think before using a handicapped space they don't need.

 

I used to have the same problem with my mother in Michigan, where I grew up. At that time, the only cars that had handicapped plates where those that had the special equipment. All others received a placard. The problem was that most of the public didn't know that. My mother got into a number of arguments with other handicapped drivers who had a big sense of entitlement.

 

Then, here in Arizona, I used to drive my mother around and I had a 4-wheel-drive big Ford Bronco. We had a few confrontrations when I parked in a handicapped space. I always had the placard in full view before I pulled into a spot, yet people would come up and argue with me. I usually just said, hey stupid, look what's hanging from the mirror. LOL

[rvsullivan]

If anyone is at fault here, I think it is the Maitre 'd or hostess. That is who the "gate keeper" is. If the cruise line or dining room feel it is appropriate to allow them in then it is not my place to enforce any rules. We are free to take our business elsewhere.

There have been many posts here about military being the exception. After many years in the U.S. military, I can tell you that unless you are armed, you must always remove your head covering when coming indoors.

[barante]

After many years in the U.S. military, I can tell you that unless you are armed, you must always remove your head covering when coming indoors.

 

Finally some useful information. Thank you.

[mr green]

I believe that the Scots may still wear headgear, when in full dress.

 

john

[Softtop67]

To me it just a matter of respect. Be respectful of others and remove your cap indoors, if you dont feel compelled to do so its not a crime but dont complain when others arent respectful towards you. Although somewhat related I believe being properly covered in houses of worship is also a matter of respect and should be adhered to even if not enforced. We had our 5 yr old daughter cover her head in mosques and it provided us a great conversation about other people and other traditions, it was a great teaching moment. Our children and myself btw also always stand and remove our caps for any national anthem, not just our own

[NorthCarolinaBelle]

Definitely improper, but I have seen ballcaps all over including some very expensive restaurants. Sad commentary. The worst thing I ever encountered was in a nice restaurant one evening. A family that included a teenaged son and daughter sat at the next table. The son was wearing a ballcap. The mom reached over and removed it. Ah, ha - going to teach him some manners. Hardly. She then took a brush out of her purse and proceeded to brush out his rather long curly hair right at the table, and when she was done, she replaced the cap on his head. Gotta admit it, for once I was speechless. It's going to take a long time for someone to top that one.

 

Ewwwwwwwww!:eek:

[Travelcat2]

Really gross and also sad. This boy is being raised to believe that this is acceptable. I would have left the table with a quiet comment to the mother that she made us lose our appetite.

[rcacace]

I think the problem is that many of us feel that we can not rely on management to deal with anyone who does not meet the criteria. If we could it would be great. Sad commentary on management on ships.

 

Not that I wear a cap or even care if others do but how do you really expect the management to enforce a no cap rule? They might inform someone at the door that it's not permissible but once seated the individual may just put it back on their head. At that point there's not much that can be said.

[luddite]

Not that I wear a cap or even care if others do but how do you really expect the management to enforce a no cap rule? They might inform someone at the door that it's not permissible but once seated the individual may just put it back on their head. At that point there's not much that can be said.

 

Naww. It's pretty easy. Tell'em at the door "ball caps in the dining room at dinner (actually, any meal) are not acceptable. If they put it back on after seating, take it off the fool's head and tell him it'll be at the hostess station when he's finished eating.

That wouldn't be hard at all.

[rcacace]

Naww. It's pretty easy. Tell'em at the door "ball caps in the dining room at dinner (actually, any meal) are not acceptable. If they put it back on after seating, take it off the fool's head and tell him it'll be at the hostess station when he's finished eating.

That wouldn't be hard at all.

 

They would never do such a thing and that is the exact reason why they've all but given up with banning hats. Once seated they'll never ask anyone to leave or change what clothing they're wearing.

[Travelcat2]

It would be sad to think some people feel it is okay to do whatever the heck they want to do -- wherever they want to do it. Giving in, IMO, isn't the way to go. A simple "excuse me sir/ma'am, baseball caps (or whatever they are wearing) are not permitted in the dining room." Then thank them for cooperating.

[Softtop67]

I have eaten in many restaurants that require men to wear jackets and do not permit them to take them off during the meal. When someone does its a discrete tap on the shoulder and back on goes the jacket. If you dine in these restaurants you know the deal as you should in the mdr of a cruiseship