Funny Cruise Ship Stories

[Cruise Raider]

On one of our first cruises ever, we sailed up to Alaska on the Sky Princess. This was way back when they had fixed seating only. We ended up waiting on the first night for our dinner mates, they were really late. We saw two elderly people walking towards our table and weren't sure we would have anything in common with them. We were in our 30's at the time.

Well, they ended up being the sweetest and most fun couple ever. We went to the lounge (which was more like the dining area during the day) that evening before dinner. They were hosting a dance contest -- my DH and our female dinner mate entered the contest together. So, they learned the contest was to dance while keeping a balloon between your bodies. My DH is 6'3" and his dance partner, in her 90's, was about 4' tall. OMG -- her face hit him almost at zipper level....if you know what I mean. The balloon hit her chest and somewhere on his legs. You should have seen them keep that balloon between them, though....the entire crowd, including myself and other dinner mate, were in tears, we were laughing so hard. They won first place.....one memory that always makes me laugh out loud.

[maz48]

This thread is so funny. Love the 'Earthquake' on board ship:D:D.

[css5]

On the Ruby last month my wife met a priest who was travelling with his Church group. He invited us to mass (in the conference room!). I am not Catholic, so I may not have this exactly right, but the part in the mass where the Priest asks for blessings for the Pope and Bishops, etc - he says "And we ask for blessings for our Pope, Francis, and for the Bishop. . . .ummm. . . . . .well. . . . .the Bishop of wherever we are!"

[wizard-of-roz]

My mother who was travelling with us was taking an inordinately long time to get dressed for dinner. We knocked on her cabin door at intervals to be told she would be ready soon. Eventually she appeared but looked very hunched up, stooped... bent over!! It was if she had suddenly lost a couple of inches in height. Now struggling to walk down the corridor, I asked was everything all right. When she told me, I giggled for hours (indeed I still smile to this day).

 

The dress she was wearing was styled so it had a dropped waist i.e. the waist sat level with her hips. To facilitate hanging, it had two thin ribbon cords attached to the inside waist of the dress which you then hooked over the arms of a coat hanger. My mother for some reason thought these ribbons were straps of some sort which needed to be worn and had put her arms through them. Given that they weren't very long they were pulling her shoulders down. I honestly don't know how she had managed it in the first place. In the end we had to cut her out of the dress.

 

This is hysterical and had me laughing at my desk! I pictured the whole thing......your poor mom!!!!

[cruisingpeople]

These stories do produce a good amount of laughter, but I can't help but wonder how many people, in the past 2 days, have noticed that this thread is over 9 years old.:D

[wizard-of-roz]

These stories do produce a good amount of laughter, but I can't help but wonder how many people, in the past 2 days, have noticed that this thread is over 9 years old.:D

 

We are so desperate for laughter these days......and, some of these stories really never get old!!!! :p

[cruiselvr1]

I really enjoy hearing of the funny cruise ship stories that everyone has. Mishaps, etc. So please feel free to share! Unfortunately I haven't been on my first cruise yet so I don't have any, but fill me in on yours! :D

Every cruise we hear about people either packing the clothes they planned to wear off, or packing their passports etc. Our first cruise 10 years ago, (we were married on the Sapphire Princess), my DW was carrying our papers, passports etc, when we were approaching customs she didn't have them. Somewhere between me grabbing the bags she dropped them. Luckily some honest person turned them in, and we were able to go home.

[WshnImCruzn]

On our last cruise to the Caribbean, my husband and I were in the pool when we noticed an elderly gentleman sitting on the edge, reading a book. This would not have been at all unusual except for the fact that one of his....er....testicles was hanging out the bottom of his swim trunks! As you can imagine, there was quite a lot of glancing and giggling from everyone in the pool. For the rest of the cruise, DH and I referred to him as "Willie One-Nut"!:D

[RLBlack]

A number of cruises ago, four of us were up on the pool deck, visiting and glanced over to the railing, and there was a gentleman, standing at the railing- with his back to us-facing out to sea, changing from his "day wear" to his "swimming trunks"- and our new saying throughout the balance of the cruise- "If I can't see you- you can't see me"- and we laughed many times-throughout the years.

[wizard-of-roz]

A number of cruises ago, four of us were up on the pool deck, visiting and glanced over to the railing, and there was a gentleman, standing at the railing- with his back to us-facing out to sea, changing from his "day wear" to his "swimming trunks"- and our new saying throughout the balance of the cruise- "If I can't see you- you can't see me"- and we laughed many times-throughout the years.

 

Sometimes you can be out on your balcony and, especially on the decks that don't have any cover, you forget that there's thousands of other folks onboard and they can look right down on you!

 

We ALWAYS get the veranda's that have a cover, which would be the Emerald Deck for us! ;)

Edited August 20, 2014 by wizard-of-roz

[Vexorg]

Probably the most ridiculous thing I've seen on a ship was back when I took a one-day cruise from Vancouver to Seattle. Due to the mess that is Canada Place on a day with four ships in port, boarding was severely delayed several hours, as was the muster drill. Of course, a lot of people tend to treat these one-night cruises as a big party, and weren't going to let the delay stop them. When the muster drill did finally happen, quite a few people showed up to it pretty well hammered. The most notable example of this was three guys (who appeared to be of roughly college student age) who showed up to the drill wearing Princess bathrobes and slippers with towels on their heads, Mardi Gras beads on their necks, martini glasses in their hands, and at least three-and-a-half sheets to the wind by then. I could have sworn I found some pictures of them on Flickr from other passengers later on, but can't find them if I go look again.

 

Edit: Found the picture. Apparently they were older than I thought:

 

Edited August 20, 2014 by Vexorg

[schlot]

Almost every cruise I have heard stories of people who, while wandering around nude in their cabins, were surprised to see crewmen washing windows or working on the lifeboats.

 

Wear a robe, close the drapes, or travel in an inside cabin.

 

Where's the fun in that? :)

[Carole_T]

I like the story our cruise director told on a Caribbean cruise.

 

While he was walking out by the railing, he approached a group watching something on the water. He looked over and said "Oh, flying fish!" The group immediately looked up, scanning the sky for the Flying Fish!

[dancinman66]

Love that

A lot would not believe that there really are flying fish

 

 

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[donaldsc]

Love that

A lot would not believe that there really are flying fish

 

 

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When we came back from our Antarctica trip, several people asked us if we had seen polar bears. We answered that we had seen South Polar bears and they believed us.

 

This one is not cruise related but after we did our Australia trip, we managed to convince some that the sun rose in the west because Australia is below the equator.

 

I guess that you can really fool some of the people all the time.

 

DON

[NMLady]

I like the story our cruise director told on a Caribbean cruise.

 

While he was walking out by the railing, he approached a group watching something on the water. He looked over and said "Oh, flying fish!" The group immediately looked up, scanning the sky for the Flying Fish!

 

Now that is funny! :):rolleyes:

[navybankerteacher]

Late afternoon on a Carnival ship alongside the pier at Cozumel - looking down as the last pier runners came up gasping for breath, we heard a commotion as an obviously inebriated late-returning man argued with the crew members of the Carnival ship across from us - he was shouting, telling them to get the captain, the cruise director, etc. and fix their "DAMN MACHINE" so he could get on board. He finally let them look at his card - so they were able to advise him to walk across the pier and board the right ship - which he did --- swearing all the way.

[kayleesmeme]

My mother who was travelling with us was taking an inordinately long time to get dressed for dinner. We knocked on her cabin door at intervals to be told she would be ready soon. Eventually she appeared but looked very hunched up, stooped... bent over!! It was if she had suddenly lost a couple of inches in height. Now struggling to walk down the corridor, I asked was everything all right. When she told me, I giggled for hours (indeed I still smile to this day).

 

The dress she was wearing was styled so it had a dropped waist i.e. the waist sat level with her hips. To facilitate hanging, it had two thin ribbon cords attached to the inside waist of the dress which you then hooked over the arms of a coat hanger. My mother for some reason thought these ribbons were straps of some sort which needed to be worn and had put her arms through them. Given that they weren't very long they were pulling her shoulders down. I honestly don't know how she had managed it in the first place. In the end we had to cut her out of the dress.

 

 

Bless her heart !!! This is too funny !!!

[obnurse]

We were enjoying a special 80th birthday cruise with our mother. On formal night we saw a lady leaving her cabin for the evening, just down the hallway from us. I wouldn't have even noticed her (I'm not exactly the fashion police) but her dress was tight and showed.....well......everything there was to see, including....well nevermind :-). We saw her around the ship during the evening and that was that. The next morning we were dressed and leaving our cabin for breakfast and our day ashore when we saw her tip-toeing down the hallway returning to her cabin, carrying her shoes and still dressed in her formal wear. No telling where she spent the night :-)

[Kartgv]

We have two stories.....

 

The "leg wrestling in the dining room" story:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?p=42026201#post42026201

 

And, the "naked man in the hallway" story:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?p=28303511#post28303511

[dancinman66]

We were enjoying a special 80th birthday cruise with our mother. On formal night we saw a lady leaving her cabin for the evening, just down the hallway from us. I wouldn't have even noticed her (I'm not exactly the fashion police) but her dress was tight and showed.....well......everything there was to see, including....well nevermind :-). We saw her around the ship during the evening and that was that. The next morning we were dressed and leaving our cabin for breakfast and our day ashore when we saw her tip-toeing down the hallway returning to her cabin, carrying her shoes and still dressed in her formal wear. No telling where she spent the night :-)

 

 

Been there done that one

Always crawl back to cabin around seven

Any later and you wear the wroth of all going to breakfast

 

 

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[SARGE7302]

Last cruise I went on - the last night I hit the casino.. my parents went to bed in one cabin, and my daughter went to bed in the other.. it was just me out and about.

 

At 2:00am I realzied I better get back and drag my luggage out into the hall for the porters... so I went back to the room, put on my night gown, pulled my luggage out and *bang* the slammed shut......and locked... I was out in the hall with my nightgown on... no robe :eek: So I banged on my door, but my daughter wouldn't wake up... so I banged on my parents door, got no answer, they were sound asleep.

 

I heard some thumping down the hall and saw an older man pulling his luggage out - I approached him (so embarrassed) and asked If I could use his phone as I was locked out.. He let me into his cabin - it was a tiny inside cabin and his wife was asleep - I was standing next to her, dialling the front desk - no answer... I noticed her teeth were in a cup of water next to the phone :D - still no answer, so I called my room, no answer... so I called my parents room.. FINALLY like after 30 rings - my Dad answered...

 

I thanked the man for helping me, just as his wife was waking up to find me in the room and asking him what was going on LOL

 

So I head back to our cabin and there is my Dad out in the hall in his underwear - you know - I lived 39 years without seeing him like that - and I hope I live another 39 years before I have to see that again!

 

 

Now that truly sounds just like something that would happen to me...only I don't wear night gown!

 

 

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[SARGE7302]

On my last cruise we decided to rent bicycles in Key West. Just to give you an idea of the type of person I am I was 37 years old at the time, 506, and weigh 125lbs., I'm very athletic, competitive, and love adventures. I'm wearing a swim suit top and flip flops (which I don't recommend) Anyways, so me, my 18 year old daughter, her best friend, my mother, and my father (my competition) for the day, are cruising around on these nifty bicycles with little baskets on front. It had been pretty all day, and as we were starting back toward Smothers Beach to hit the Fury parasail it starts to rain. Me and my dad are constantly trying to one up each other, either jumping curbs, trying to splash each other with the many pot hole pools, and whatever else we can find. So I finally dig down and allow my dad a few feet ahead and I stand up and start to pedal as fast as I can. We have left the rest of our group way behind...can't even see them anymore. So as I'm attempting to pass him a car is coming along towards me so I jump the curb continue down the sidewalk, pedal faster as I'm still standing, I pass my dad, and hit another curb, and While I'm in mid air my freaking chain pops off the bicycle so my first initial response is do I run into the on coming car or eat the palm tree? Well first my toes and knees and sides, got mauled by the concrete as my feet were dragging across the pavement because as I stated before it was raining and my flops slipped of the pedals as I came down (not pretty), but I chose to hit the palm tree. The embarrassing thing is the car that was headed towards me witness the whole thing unravel and stopped to see if I was alright, a group of elderly men and women and ask me if I needed a ride somewhere...I politely stated no sir but thank you, as my dad zooms by me laughing uncontrollably. I then turn to the elderly gentleman as he has this look on his face of Discust like how can that man on that bicycle be human....I turn to him saying, that's my dad. He then stated hope you enjoy the rest of your time here. I met up with the rest of the fam about 2 blocks from where I got ditched, but I walked the rest of the way.

 

 

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[dancinman66]

Now that truly sounds just like something that would happen to me...only I don't wear night gown!

 

 

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Now that is one scary story

 

 

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[CarleyMJ]

We are from Southern California. Went on a cruise to Alaska and docked in Juneau. We were in the dining room for dinner when the ship began to pull away from the dock. Not sure if this happens on all ships, but on this ship the boosting of the throttle causes a bit of a rumble and shaking at the aft of the ship. A friend of ours from our town suddenly stood up and started yelling EARTHQUAKE-----EARTHQUAKE. The entire dining room was staring at her.

 

Funny to us, not to her. She took it well though!:D

 

LOL This one is good.